Dead to You
by waitwhathuh
Summary: It's been three years. Three years since Cat Valentine disappeared off the face of the world under mysterious circumstances, presumed murdered. Everyone's long stopped searching for her, including me. That is, until I saw a flash of red hair in the crowd...
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: And I'm back. This one's the prologue, so the events in this chapter take place three years prior to the events of the main story. What should you expect for this one? A bit of mystery, scandal, intrigue, difficult situations and of course... romance. Let's take a look, shall we?**

**Disclaimer: None of this. None of this is owned by me. Okay the story-line is, but the rest... songs, characters uhh... and the alphabet is owned by the Latin people. **

* * *

**January 20****th****, 2014**

Know what I hate absolutely more than anything? Impossible school projects. Don't get me wrong, I love going to Hollywood Arts. I'd take going there over any regular school any day. But there's _sometimes _where I'm just like… why? Why do we have to do this? For example, right now I'm working on a performance project. We had to split into pairs and create a script that's based solely on a specific theatre movement. I, being oh so lucky, was giving the task of working on Dadaism. Do you know what Dadaism is? Yeah, **neither does anybody else**. It's literally the theatre movement of "art for art's sake". So, it's theatre with crazy shit and no meaning. Ask me again how I'm expected to write a script for that.

Know what I love more than anything? That I got paired with Cat for this project. I have never been more grateful to be with the perky, absent-minded red-head for a project in my life. Her detachment with reality and random thoughts will actually be so helpful for this. Literally, I can just ask her to talk about what she's thinking about and I'll just write down what she says. Perfect. Easy grade. Not only that, but Cat and I grew to be really good friends since I came to Hollywood Arts. Her personality was a bit overwhelming to me at first, but I've grown accustomed to it and even to appreciate it. I like being in her presence. It's relaxing because I don't ever have to worry about her judging me or thinking I'm weird. She's the only person I could comfortably don mustaches and talk in poorly done accents with. She lets me let loose, and I love it. That's why I'm proud to call her my best friend.

Like right now, even though I'm so _completely _annoyed by this project, she's sitting next to me on my couch and just twirling a strand of her red velvet hair around her finger in whatever concentration she can muster. She looks down at our Theatre Movements Through History textbook, gently chewing on her lip. I watch her thoughtfully, and she looks up at me with a small smile. Yep, something about her presence just puts me at ease.

And yet… Lately I've felt less at ease around her lately. Like I said, I've grown accustomed to her personality and mannerisms. So much so that if anything ever seems off with her, I take notice. And something has _definitely _been off with Cat lately. Before you call me paranoid or think I'm overreacting, I realize that everybody has their bad days _including _Cat. Usually when that happens, she tells me she saw the Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercial or something like that, and then I go buy her ice cream or take her to the pet store to cuddle with puppies. I don't know why I go out of my way to see her smile. I guess the idea of Cat Valentine being sad just doesn't sit well with me. We all need a little more sunshine in our lives, and I think Cat supplies that.

So, you can imagine my worry when I've noticed something off with her ever since Christmas break. First off, she wouldn't tell me what was up. She just kept denying anything was wrong, and then she would go very quiet and I could barely get a word out of her. I know she was lying. I know her. I'd take her to get ice cream, to the pet store, rent the happiest movies I know she loves, tell her the lamest jokes – and nothing. None of my tactics work. She'll give me a small smile with a far off look in her eye, but that's about it. And even then I think she's just trying to humour me because she knows I'm trying and she appreciates it. I just miss that airy laugh of hers, and that bright smile and those twinkling eyes. When will that side of Cat show itself again? I haven't seen it in over a month, and usually Cat gets over things quickly even without me trying to cheer her up.

"You think of anything?" I ask her.

"I'm trying. This is hard. I never realized how much meaning my random thoughts had until I had to do this." Cat pouts. I throw myself back into the couch with a frustrated huff.

"Ugh, this makes me wish we had gotten Symbolism or something." I groan. She touches my arm gently.

"It could be worse." She states softly.

"Yeah, you're right." I sigh. See, even when she's worrying me she still calms me down. "I mean, we could have had to do Theatre of Cruelty like Beck and Andre. The kinds of plays they have to use for reference involve scorpions climbing out of a vagina." I grimace. Yeah I just said that. Theatre is a weird, mysterious medium at times.

"Jade really wanted that one." Cat wrinkles her nose.

"Yep, but she got Realism instead. She was absolutely _livid_." I grin. I watch as Cat's mouth turns into that almost smile before it drops off her face completely. I frown and try to shake it off. "Anyway, toothpaste."

"Toothpaste?" Cat asks, confused. I give a shrug.

"I'm trying to get into the mindset of a Dadaist now. Just say things that don't make sense." I state.

"Oh." Cat blinks. "Unicycle."

"Cactus."

"Overalls."

"Kitchen."

"Hungry."

"Food."

"Snacks?"

"Yes."

"That didn't take long to gain meaning." Cat sighs. I laugh, getting up to go to the kitchen. I grab some chips and turn back toward the couch. Cat's sitting and hugging her knees to herself, that far-off look still in her eyes. What I wouldn't give to see what's going on in her head right now…

I place the chips in front of her and she quickly opens it up, digging her hand in. Geez, she really was hungry. "I don't know how these Dadaists did it. I mean, everything in life has meaning, and even if it wasn't created with meaning, people find meaning in it." I mumble. Cat swallows a handful of chips and points at the textbook.

"That's what it says here. Dadaism is a huge controversy because the whole movement is flawed for that reason. That's why it's barely practiced anymore." Cat explains.

"So they literally gave us the most impossible movement to work with. Great. Perfect. Wonderful. Thanks, Hollywood Arts." I grumble. Cat leans her head on my shoulder and I immediately relax again. How does she do that? "I'm sure we'll think of something… there's got to be something out there that's just mindless with no meaning."

"Yeah, something like The Funny Nugget Show." Cat mutters. I freeze, the cogwheels in my brain sputtering to a start.

"Cat, what'd you say?" I ask.

"Something like The Funny Nugget Show?" Cat repeats.

"**That's it**!" I exclaim, throwing my hands up in the air. Cat removes her head from my shoulder and looks at me in confusion. "Cat, you're a genius!"

"…How?" She asks slowly. I quickly pull her into a hug and give her a happy kiss on top of her head. When I pull back from the hug, her cheeks are tinted pink.

"The Funny Nugget Show! It's so obvious! That's the single most meaningless, absurd thing in existence _and we've already done it_!" I ramble in excitement. I see my words starting to dawn on Cat as her eyes go wide.

"So, we just take one of The Funny Nugget Show videos…" She starts.

"And we write it down as our script! It's perfect!" I laugh, pulling her into another tight hug.

"Yay!" Cat mumbles into my shoulder. I pull away again, smiling.

"Who's the smartest, most ticklish red-head in this room?" I gush, poking her in the sides. She lets out a squeal and I see the most genuine smile form on her face that I've seen in a long time.

"Haha! I am! Tori, stop!" She giggles. I pull my hands away and I grin at her. She keeps giggling as she looks at me, smiling big. Then, as if something clicks in her brain, her face falls immediately and she turns away, back to her somber state. Damnit, I was so close! I saw happy Cat for a moment, but she didn't stay. I can't take it anymore. Giving her a look of concern, I place a hand gently on her knee.

"Cat…" I whisper. She looks at my hand on her knee and starts running her fingers between my fingers and over my knuckles. That actually feels really nice. "You've been really worrying me lately, you know?"

"I'm sorry." She mumbles, not taking her attention off our hands.

"Don't be sorry, just tell me what's going on with you lately. You haven't been yourself…" I sigh.

"Sometimes, I think you're the only one who notices." Cat whispers.

"Of course I notice. When you're sad it's like the world isn't in balance." I state softly. Really, I mean that I feel like my stomach isn't in balance because it's twisting from so much worry. Cat lets out a breath.

"I don't want you to worry about it, okay Tori? Please don't worry about it." She mumbles.

"I just want to know if I can help. Or, just give me some clue that you're going to be okay." I squeeze her knee gently. Cat's lip trembles and she bites down on it. My eyebrows rise in concern. "Is it Sam?"

"What?" Cat asks, finally looking up at me. It looks like there are tears threatening to fall from her eyes. It makes me want to envelop her in a hug more than anything.

"Sam… from iCarly. Your roommate." I explain quietly. Cat had a chance encounter with Sam at the beginning of last year and they'd started living together in her Nona's old apartment. I let out a deep breath. "I've only met her once so I don't know her very well, but from what I saw on the web show and from what you've told me, she seems to have some anger issues and violent tendencies…"

"Oh, no! No, Tori. It's not that. Sam wouldn't hurt me. Well… not badly. Sam and I are getting along great." She assures me. I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy.

"Oh. Great, huh? I guess you two spend a lot of time together, so you must be like, best friends now." I mumble. Way to go, Tori. This conversation is supposed to be about Cat and you drag your own insecurities into it.

"Yep." Cat confirms. She twists herself slightly on the couch to face me, taking my hand that was on her knee in both of her hands. "But you're still one of my best friends as well, and you mean a lot to me." She states firmly, looking serious. I smile at her, feeling my heart beat faster at her words for whatever reason.

"Thanks, Cat." I sigh, placing my free hand on top of our other tangled hands. "And as your best friend I feel some responsibility to look out for you, you know? I'll respect that you don't want to talk about whatever you're going through… but I need you to know that I'm here for you to talk to. And if there's a_nything_, anything at all that I can do to make it better, let me know." I claim. She blinks and the genuine smile comes back onto her face. I feel like it's just for me, and I feel my heart flutter again. Maybe I should see a cardiologist…

"Tori… do you trust me?" Cat asks.

"Yeah, I do." I nod. Her smile falls off her face, but I can still see remnants of it in her eyes. She detaches her hands from mine and places one on the side of my face.

"Then trust that I'll be okay… No matter what happens, I'm okay. I promise." Cat whispers. "Do you believe me?"

"Yes." I barely mutter out. I'm so entranced in her eyes right now. Have they always been such a deep caramel brown?

"Don't forget." Cat breathes, and then she leans forward to press her lips to mine.

Whoa.

Talk about taking someone's breath away. Cat's kissing me. Right now. What. Why? I mean I know Cat's random but we were talking and now she's kissing me and _man _her lips are soft. I've never kissed a girl before… Is it weird that I like it? Is that weird? No, I suppose it's fine. The weird part is that Cat's my best friend and I'm really, _really _enjoying the feel of her lips right now. And her smell. I've always liked the way Cat smells, but I'll have to ask her what kind of face cream she uses… you know, if she ever removes her lips from my mouth. Which I hope isn't any time soon…

Well, now I'm confused.

Eventually she pulls back, and her eyes are wide and searching. Her hand falls away from my face and she bites her lip again. "Thank you." She trembles.

"N…No problem." I croak out, unable to find much of a voice. She bends over to grab her bag and stands up.

"I'll… see you tomorrow at school." Cat mutters quickly, and then she rushes out the front door as Trina walks down the stairs. I'm sitting here awestruck, unable to comprehend… anything. I can still feel the sensation of her lips. My tongue darts out to taste whatever she left behind. Some sort of Lipsmacker. She would. That's adorable…

"What's up with her? Did you let her watch that Sarah McLachlan commercial again?" Trina asks. I just sit there, unable to form coherent thoughts. "I mean, I guess it's normal to get upset from some advertisements. Sometimes I get teary-eyed watching weight-loss commercials. I see the people on there and I'm just like, look at you! You did it!" Trina sniffs, getting emotional. Again, I say nothing. Not that I have any idea what to say to that, anyway. "Hey, what's up with _you_? You're supposed to be listening to me talking!"

"Hmm? Sorry." I mumble. Trina scoffs and heads back upstairs realizing she won't get any attention from me.

I wasn't able to get my mind off that kiss for a while. And I did see Cat the next day at school, but it was only very briefly. She'd literally see me and dart away, or excuse herself and leave. It stayed that way the whole week. I mean, I'm confused about what happened but I don't want her thinking I'm mad at her. So I texted her telling her that, and that I wanted to talk. I never got any replies. I didn't try too hard to get in touch with her, though. Personally, I was dealing with the possibility of forming a crush on my best friend, and I knew I would probably have to give her a definite answer the next time we talked about the kiss. I didn't have that answer, yet.

On the Friday, I was fiddling with my purse to get my keys out at the end of the school day. _Yes _I eventually got my licence. I was tired of everyone teasing me about it. So I was walking to my car and when I pulled out my keys, I saw a small figure leaning against the passenger side. Cat was looking at me intensely, biting her lip. I approach her and the car, furrowing my brow. She stands up straight, mouth quivering like she's trying to say something. Half of me wants her to just kiss me again. Okay more than half.

"Cat, are you okay?" I ask, worried. She opens her mouth to say something again, but it shuts once again as she bites her lip. She looks so sad, and it breaks my heart. I take a tentative step towards her. "Cat… if this is about that kiss… I told you I didn't mind-" I'm stopped mid-sentence, but not with a kiss. Cat leaped on me with a bone-crushing hug. Her arms wrapped around my neck and her face buries into my collar. At first I'm startled, but I become aware of how much her body is shaking and I quickly put my arms around her to hold her tight. We stay like that for a long while. I don't even know how long. All I know is that it feels right to hold her right now, and I feel like I should be holding her as if my life depends on it.

She squeezes me tighter and pushes into me more, if it's possible, and then she finally loosens her hold on me and her arms slip away. Reluctantly, I let go of my vice grip on her and she steps back. Now I can see the tears that have slid down her face, and are still sliding down her face. She gives me a very conflicted and pained look. I reach out for her again.

"Cat…"

She presses her lips together and then tears herself from me, quickly sprinting away. I can hear her sobbing.

"Cat!" I call after her, but she was already across the parking-lot. If I have one main regret in life, it's that I didn't go after her. I should have gone after her. I should have run like I never ran before. I should have grabbed her from behind and pulled her to me, kissing her passionately. I should have wiped her tears with my hand and told her that whatever she was going through, we would figure it out together. I should have done a lot of things. But I didn't. I didn't do one fucking thing.

The weekend was normal. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. I decided I would just see Cat on Monday, pull her into the janitor's closet and we'd finally talk everything out. So, I walk into Hollywood Arts on Monday. But I don't find Cat. Instead, I find a ton of police officers searching the area and talking to students. I furrow my brow in confusion. I stop one of the officers walking by.

"Hey, what's going on?" I ask. The officer shakes his head.

"I can't talk now." He says gruffly, and then he stalks away. Rude.

"Tori!" I hear the voice of my dad call out to me. I look over to see him walking towards me down the hall.

"Dad, what are you doing here? What's going on? Why is the entire police force here?" I interrogate. My dad pulls me to the side and lowers his voice.

"What are _you _doing here? Didn't you get my note? I told you to stay home today." He mutters quickly. What is going on?!

"I must've missed it. Why should I have stayed home? What's going on here today?" I goad. My dad looks away, running his hand down his face. "_Dad_."

He looks at me with a mix of seriousness and sympathy. What he says next hits me in the gut like a freight train.

"Cat Valentine is missing."

* * *

**January 27****th****, 2014**

I could've gone home. My dad got special permission from Helen to let me, Robbie, Jade, Beck and Andre take the day off under the circumstances. I couldn't do that, though. I couldn't sit at home knowing Cat's out there, somewhere. None of my friends went home, either. We didn't go to class, but we just sat in the hallway with each other, constantly texting, calling and messaging Cat. Maybe one of us could get through.

According to my dad, it's unknown just how long Cat has been missing, and the missing persons report was only filed this morning. It's not like she has a guardian living with her, so nobody really checked in on her whereabouts. I guess Sam didn't care enough. Cat's Nona called in the report after checking in on her old apartment to see how Cat was doing after she hadn't visited at all during the weekend. After Sam told her she hadn't seen Cat since Friday morning, Cat's Nona immediately called the police. I can't tell you how frustrated I am. A search for a missing person can take place 24 hours after they haven't been seen. This search should have started on Saturday, but no, thanks to an obviously indifferent roommate, the search only began today. Who knows where Cat could have gone in almost three days? She could be lost, or scared, or kidnapped, or…

"Pick up, Cat…" I mutter into my receiver as I listen to phone ring endlessly for what's probably the 600th time today. As usual, the fifth ring is cut off and the high, airy voice comes on the line.

"**Hiii! You've reached Cat's phone! I'm not here to answer you right now, but tell me whatever and my phone will let me know later! Hehe!**"

My throat catches a little more every time I hear her recorded message. At first I left messages calmly asking where she was. For some reason, I was convinced that she would get back to me as soon as possible and explain that she was with her parents and brother or something. After a few hours and no word from Cat for any of us, my messages became a little more demanding. Now, I just click the end call and then redial. I just need to hear her voice say anything else other than the pre-recorded message. Anything.

"Tori Vega?" An officer says after approaching me. I'm sitting on the steps in Hollywood Arts with the rest of my friends, so I have to crane my neck to look up at him.

"Yes?" I answer, a bit of desperation still present in my voice. The rest of the group turns from their electronic devices and attempts to contact Cat to watch our interaction.

"You're David's daughter, right?" He asks.

"Yeah, that's right." I confirm. He shifts a bit, his hand rubbing the back of his neck as if this information makes him feel uncomfortable.

"We're going to have to pull you in for questioning." He states. My eyebrows shoot into the air.

"What? Why?" I ask. The police had been interviewing students all morning, but my dad convinced them to lay off us unless it was important.

"We've heard several students putting you and Cat Valentine in the school parking lot here Friday evening. If this is true, as well as our reports, this puts you as the last person to have seen her before her disappearance." The cop explains. Oof, that makes me feel sick to my stomach. I was the last person to see her.

"…Okay." I say slowly. I stand up with the officer and give my friends a glance. They're all giving me supportive looks – even Jade. I smile at them and then walk off with the officer. He leads me out into the parking lot and into the back of a police cruiser. I lean back, worried. I should still be calling Cat. "This all seems very official." I comment.

"It's an official investigation." The officer states. "You were very close to the missing person. We just want to get as much information as we can."

"…You don't think I had anything to do with her going missing, do you?" I ask quietly. Silence. Oh my god, he does. "Hey! Do you!?"

"I can't comment right now. Just know that we're trying to look at this from all angles." He says.

"I want to talk to my dad." I glower.

"He'll be at the station." The cop says. I run my hands through my hair. I don't believe this.

We head into the station with the cop keeping a close watch on me. Stupid cop. I enter the building and see my dad there. "Dad!" I call out to him. He looks at me solemnly.

"Just answer any questions they have for you, honey. I'm sorry about this." He sighs. I give him a desperate glance before I'm literally pulled into a room. The officer sits me down.

"Can I at least know your name?" I grumble.

"Officer Babcock." He says. "You know I'm not trying to accuse you of anything. I just want to help find a girl who is missing. Isn't that what you want, too?"

"Yes…" I sigh.

"Great. So I just have a few questions about the last time you saw Cat Valentine." He mutters after clicking a recording device. I stare at it. Now I feel nervous that I'll say something stupid, end up being thrown in jail, and then I'll never be able to find Cat.

I told him about our last meeting. I told him how she had been off the last while and wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I told him about how she hugged me tightly and then ran off crying without a word. I told him everything except that she kissed me. I felt like that was too personal – a closely guarded secret that needed to stay between us.

In response, he asked questions about why I didn't pursue her and try to find out what was wrong or call someone with my concerns if I were _really _her friend. That just caused me to sob hysterically and repeat "I don't know" over and over again. The guilt is crushing. As much as I hate that I'm being slightly accused for the disappearance of Cat, he's right. I was… a_m _her best friend. Why didn't I take more action? Because of some confusing butterflies hanging out in my stomach? Fuck off, Tori.

I was then kindly asked to not leave the state lines in case I'm needed for further questioning. Well, a polite "fuck off" to you too, Babcock. The idea that I'm a main suspect in this so far makes me feel sick. I would never hurt Cat. Never. And to think that anybody has… No, I can't think that way. I have to believe that she's fine somewhere just being her Cat self somewhere. If I think anything else… I'll breakdown.

* * *

**January 29****th****, 2014**

I wake up and head downstairs. My dad is standing in the kitchen resting his hands on the table looking wildly distracted and pensive.

"Hey dad, any news on Cat?" I ask. He looks over and frowns at me.

"Yeah." He answers slowly. I stare at him.

"…Well? Is she okay?" I interrogate, quickly heading into the kitchen. He averts his eyes.

"I'm not sure if I should say." He mutters. I narrow my eyes at him.

"Dad. She's my best friend. I need to know. I need to know or I'll… I'll go crazy." I quiver out. He annoyingly stares at me and I feel my frustration rising. "Dad, tell me **now**." I demand.

"Tori… I need you to know this might not mean anything. There's still a chance she's okay." He sighs.

"Just tell me." I whimper.

"We've been checking out security cameras around the L.A. area. There was footage at a convenience store… the time stamp shows it would've been about an hour after you saw in the parking lot. On the bright side, I know you were home at the time so this clears you of anything. Unfortunately…" He trails off. And my anger keeps rising.

"_What was on the tape?_" I snap.

"Cat was. She seemed to be walking by and then a black truck rolled up. Tinted windows. Licence plate removed. Someone in a large hoody and mask jumped out. Impossible to tell if they were male or female. There was a bit of a struggle and then the person…" He pauses, letting out a sigh. "They drag her into the truck and then it drives off."

I feel numb. This can't be happening.

"I need to call her again." I mutter, pulling out my phone.

"Tori. I don't think that will help." He mumbles.

"Don't care. Need to try." I rush out, dialing her number.

"Like I said this doesn't mean she's in a dire situation…"

"Shh." I shush him as the phone rings.

"**Hiii! You've reached Cat's phone! I'm not here to answer you right now, but tell me whatever and my phone will let me know later! Hehe!**"

"Cat." I breathe into the phone. "Cat, I don't know where you are, or who has you, but they need to let you come back to me now, okay? I know you can get away. You won't let them hurt you because… because I can't think of a life without you, okay? I need you here smiling and laughing and saying random things. I need to film more Funny Nugget Shows with you. I need to… to talk things out with you. Maybe… maybe we could be more, you know? Maybe we could look into that. But I can't without you here and-" The beep cuts me off. "Shit. No." I curse, desperately dialing again.

"Tori, what did you mean by being more?" My dad asks.

"Surprise, I have feelings for my female best friend. Not important now." I mumble out, waiting for the ringing to stop. What happens next breaks my heart. I expected to hear her happy message, but I don't.

"**I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed because it is no longer in service…**"

* * *

**February 7****th****, 2014**

The past almost two weeks have been filled with me and my friends putting up missing posters of Cat and the make of the truck she was seen being taken away in. We've taken to social media sites and news stations begging people to contact the police if they have any information. The past while has also been filled with several almost nervous breakdowns. My studies and health has been rapidly declining. I haven't been eating or sleeping or doing any of my work. Everything's on the back burner until Cat is found. But Jade said maybe it's better if we don't find her now – we might not like the state she's found in. I nearly hit her when she said that. I nearly did. Beck and Andre had to hold me back.

Two days ago, our search finally warranted something. Some kids our age were hanging around a lake amongst a hiking trail, and a couple of them went skinny-dipping on a dare. That's when they found the truck, submerged in water. One of the kids recognized the truck from posts on The Slap and they immediately called it in. The truck was pulled out and searched – The only thing they found was Cat's phone. They couldn't determine if the moment the truck hit the water was also the moment her phone went out of service because PearPhones are so obnoxiously waterproof that it could've taken days for it to become waterlogged. Still, it was a clue, and Cat wasn't in the lake with the car. That means there's still hope.

Until now.

"Tori…" My dad sits me down today on the couch after school. "I think we should get you to see someone. You haven't been taking care of yourself." He sighs.

"I'm sorry, dad. It's just… this is eating me up inside." I choke out.

"I know. I know now how deeply you cared for Cat." He states. He was very accepting when he found out about my feelings, as was my mom. "And I'm certain that Cat wouldn't want to know you were doing this to yourself."

"You're right… She wouldn't." I frown.

"I want you to remember that…" He breathes. I look at him, puzzled. "We've found something else."

I sit up straight, waiting. My stomach twists in anticipation. "What is it?" I ask.

"I wanted you to find out from me before you saw it on the media… I wish I could protect you from this, but I can't." He sighs. "Since finding the truck, we've been combing the forest around it. About a mile off from the lake, there are these railroad tracks. One of our officers and a police dog found an area leading to it where it looks like someone was dragged. There's blood surrounding the area, up until right by the tracks. Then… then there was a lot of blood. We're lucky there hasn't been any rain or it would've been washed away." He explains. I stare at him, my pulse quickening.

"That doesn't mean it's hers." I say quickly. I won't believe it was hers.

"Tori… We crossed a sample of the blood with her parents and brother. It matches. It's the same DNA."

My own blood runs cold and my mind races a mile a minute trying to rationalize a reason for it.

"Is… is she…" I tremble.

"There wasn't a body found, no. But, Tori… the amount of blood found… The human body wouldn't be able to handle losing that much at one time." He sighs, tears in his eyes.

"No…" I gasp, my eyes finding the ground.

"We're going to keep looking – for her and whoever did this." He states softly.

"No… no, Cat… No…" I'm starting to shake. I'm going to vomit. Cat can't be dead. She can't be. Not my Cat…

"Tori…" My dad puts a hand on my shoulder, and that's when I lose it. All the tension from the last while reaches a peak point, and I have my breakdown. I collapse right off the couch, sobbing. And I just sob. And scream. And deny it. I refuse to believe it. Somebody _has _to know what happened to her… somebody…

Eventually I shakily get up and my dad is looking at me with worry. I clumsily head to the front door and grab my purse, tears still streaming down my face.

"Tori, where do you think you're going?" My dad asks.

"I need to talk to someone." I mutter. I rush out before he can do anything. And then I drive. My hands are shaking and my reflexes are horrible right now, but I somehow make it to my destination. I stand in front of apartment number 22 in Venice, California, and I knock on the door. It slowly swings open on its own. "Hello?" I ask.

The apartment is filled with the furniture from That's A Drag, like Cat had said it was. I didn't believe it at first, but now I do. I walk through it slowly, looking around. And then I hear a sound out back I head to the sliding door and see a blonde girl around my age looking over a motorcycle, and I recognize the blonde girl as internet icon and Cat's roommate. Sam Puckett.

I slowly step out onto the patio as she looks into her helmet. Even though she's not looking at me, she freezes for a second and then quickly whips the helmet in my direction with an intimidating cry. I quickly duck and it barely flies over my head and into the house behind me. What's wrong with this chick?!

"Holy chiz! Don't sneak up on me like that." Sam scowls, looking me over. I scowl back. I don't like her. My impression of her is negative.

"I'm sorry but the front door was open and nobody was answering and was it _really _necessary to throw a helmet at me?" I scoff.

"If you surprise a Puckett, you're most likely going to some part of your body injured. Didn't Cat tell you anything?" Sam mutters, looking over her bike again.

"So you know who I am?" I ask.

"Sure. You're that Tori chick, her best friend. You're also that chick who dated that skunkbag at the same time as Carly." Sam recalls nonchalantly.

"Right. And do you know why I'm here?" I take a cautious step closer. Sam lets out a sigh and leans against her bike.

"I'm guessing this is about Cat's disappearing act." She sighs. "What, do you have questions?"

"Where is she?" I ask pointedly. She throws her head back a bit at the question, but shrugs.

"How should I know? She's been gone for almost two weeks, remember?" Sam drawls.

"And I think you know the reason why, or are the cause." I accuse. She stands up straight at this, narrowing her eyes.

"_Excuse me?_" Sam snaps. "Say that again." She dares.

"I don't know. Maybe Cat got a little too much on your nerves one day because you couldn't deal with her sweet personality so you just lost it and next thing you knew, you had a murder to cover up." I spit, shaking slightly.

"How _dare_ you. I should pull the butter-sock on you!" She growls, stepping closer so that we're inches apart.

"Go ahead. Why don't you get rid of me just like you did with Cat." I tremble out. Suddenly I'm being pushed on the ground and Sam is angrily poised above me, rage in her eyes. If I'm right, then I should be scared. But I'm not. I'm just angry, and if I die at least I'll die knowing what happened to Cat. Her fist is raised for a moment and I brace myself, eyes closed. I wait… but nothing happens.

"Ugh… I can't hurt you." She sighs. I open my eyes to see her extending and arm to help me up. I carefully take it and she pulls me up with ease. "You're just like Cat. You care about other people more than yourself so it makes it hard to actually put you in harm's way. I hate people like you." Sam mutters. "Plus… Cat wouldn't want me to hurt you. She cared about you a lot."

"Uh…" I gape. Well, that changed quickly, and Sam seems to have some sort of heart. She steps past me and into the house.

"Are you coming in or what?" She asks.

"S-sure…" I stammer, following her in.

"Do you want a beverage? We have milk that's about a week passed its expiry date and something that might be orange juice." Sam offers.

"No thanks." I wrinkle my nose. She shrugs and sits down on the couch. I sit beside her.

"Yeah, Cat usually stayed on top of most of the food… I've just been having Inside-Out Burgers since she left." Sam explains. "That's why I was checking out my bike today. I'm leaving tonight. Turns out I'm not much of a babysitter without Cat, so I'm not making any money… So it's time to move on."

"So, you're skipping town." I mutter.

"Still on that?" Sam rolls her eyes. "Listen. I wouldn't hurt Cat… badly. I liked Cat a lot. She was easily manipulated which is perfect for me, but she also knew how to have a good time in her own carefree way. She balanced me out pretty well." Sam sighs. I stare at her.

"But then… if you really like her that much, why didn't you notice when she was gone for three days? I mean, you're her roommate!" I huff.

"Same reason I wasn't called in for questioning! My alibi. I left for Seattle Friday morning to visit some peeps. Plenty of people confirmed my presence in Seattle… Came back late Sunday night, I thought she was asleep in her bed… I didn't think of anything of it until her Nona called. Believe me, I feel pretty bad about it." Sam explains.

"Oh…" I sigh. So she didn't do it. "I'm sorry I accused you."

"No worries. Anyone who is willing to step up and fight for a friend is okay in my book." Sam leaves a light punch on my shoulder. At least, I think it was supposed to be light. It still kind of hurt. "And try not to worry too much. Cat may have been a bit of a loon, but I've seen her be able to take care of herself. Maybe she's not in as bad of a situation as you think she's in."

"I doubt that." I choke out, feeling the despair flood back into me. Somehow, the anger at Sam was what pushed it out, but now it's back with nothing to block it.

"What makes you say that?" She raises her eyebrow. I have to swallow hard to keep the lump in my throat at bay.

"My dad told me… they found blood. Lots of blood. Cat's blood." I whimper out. Sam's silent for a moment before putting her face in her hands, massaging roughly.

"Oh man." Sam mutters.

"Yeah." I croak. Sam suddenly stands up and heads to the back.

"Wh-Where are you going?" I ask, tears already streaming down my face.

"I'm leaving now. I can't stay here anymore." Sam huffs, grabbing her riding jacket and pulling it on. I stand up and follow her. "No offense to your dad but in my experience, police are useless. I'm going to go find Cat, or at least the people who did this to her and make them pay." She growls.

"Do you really think you can?" I ask weakly.

"I'll sure as hell try." She states, heading to her bike. She looks around a moment and huffs, pushing past me again to head into the house. "Did you see where I chucked my helmet? Never mind. Found it." She picks it up and dusts it off.

"Wait, Sam." I say, still shaking from all my emotions. She looks at me. "Did you… notice anything odd about Cat the last while before she disappeared?"

She thinks for a moment. "Now that you mention it, I guess she was a little more quiet leading up to the events of her disappearance. Why?"

"No reason." I mumble. I can't help but remember her small voice saying, "Sometimes, I think you're the only one who notices".

"Well, I'm off." Sam states, climbing on her bike. "You stay here and contact me if the police get any news, okay?"

"I'll need your number." I request.

"Oh, right." She takes my phone and quickly puts her name and number in, then hands it back. She revs the engine a bit. "Let's both try to hold hope that Cat's still out there and okay, alright?"

"Alright." I agree quietly. I have to believe she's still okay. The alternative is…

"And Tori?" Sam starts, kicking her stand up. I stare at her. "…Cat really did care about you a lot, you know. She spoke very highly of you. Seriously, sometimes she would wake me up in the middle of the night just gushing about you. It annoyed the hell out of me but it made me think, man, this girl is really special to her. Guess now I understand why. You care about her, too?" She asks, I merely nod. "Good. Then hopefully that's all you'll need to find her again. Best of luck to both of us… and Cat."

And then she drove off. I stood there for a good while before I headed into their 50/50 split bedroom. Cat's side was easy to pick out. I threw myself on her bed and breathed in her scent before giving into the crushing sadness. I thought about how scared she must've been. The pain she must've went through. I can't even begin to imagine… And I can't believe she's gone for good. I can't. I'm going to hear her beautiful voice again. I'm going to see her shining smile. I'm going to feel her light, comforting touches.

I'm going to find Cat Valentine.

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**Author's Notes: So, was that terrible? Do you like the concept? I'm pretty excited about this story. Big plans, BIG plans. It's going to be a great one, I promise. If you liked Falling-Out, I think you'll like this... if you didn't like Falling-Out, I still think you'll like this. I mean, it'll still have it's dark parts but in a different way. Let's start a brand new journey together, shall we?  
**

**I should mention it's no longer summer and this week sees me going back to school. This means I won't be able to update quite as frequently as I have in the past, but I'll try not to have large gaps in between chapters. Expect chapter one maybe... between Thursday and Saturday? Maybe? If you follow me on Twitter, I can give you better updates (as well as quotes for future chapters and other fun things.) Yeah! **

**Fun Fact: Dadaism really is horrible. I saw a Dadaist interpretation on stage once and saw strange... strange things. Still better than Theatre of Cruelty though. A Theatre of Cruelty production once released rabid dogs on and audience. Yeah. Do people want me to continue this fun fact thing? Because I will. It's fun, and that's a fact. **


	2. Seeing Red

**Disclaimer: Don't own blah blah blah tired tired tired want to sleep enjoy the show bye.**

* * *

**January 27****th****, 2017**

It's been three years. Three years since Cat disappeared off the face of the world under mysterious circumstances, presumed murdered. Everyone's long stopped searching for her, including me.

I tried. I tried so hard. That patch of blood was the last trace anyone ever found of Cat. The trail went cold after that, as did the case. Sam and I kept in touch for about a year, but then communication just stopped. I think both of us were just sick and tired of no news after no news. I don't know what's she's doing now. She's probably stopped looking, too.

Cat's still considered a missing person. There was no body found or a perpetrator to confirm her fate, so we never had a funeral. We had an unofficial memorial once on the first year of the anniversary where we tried to reminisce about the past and have hope for the future. Nobody wanted to say it, but I know it was in the back of everyone's minds. Cat's not coming back. We've lost her.

As for me… I fell into a deep, inconsolable and impenetrable depression not long after Sam left on her motorcycle. If I wasn't paying attention to news all over the country for something that might point to Cat's whereabouts, I was curled up in my bed being completely gone to life. I hate to admit it, but there were some days where I just didn't want to go on anymore. It was too painful losing someone so close to me to such tragic circumstances. It left me feeling so… empty. I still feel empty some of the time.

I'm surprised I was able to graduate from Hollywood Arts. I feel like the combination of Sikowitz, Lane and a bit of a sympathetic Helen pulling strings was the only reason I got my diploma. Everyone was working on moving on with their life while I was stuck in a deep, dark rut. Andre hit it big. He got really lucky and scored a record deal with a producer, but he needed a singer. Andre immediately asked me but… I turned him down. The music was out of my life. Music reminded me of happier times, and I just didn't want to be happy. Not while Cat was gone.

Do I sound completely pathetic yet? Just wait. Eventually I snapped out of it, in a sense. I decided I was fed up with lying in bed and feeling sorry for myself, so I decided to do something. But I still wasn't in a good state of mind. I needed to let loose, so I did in probably the worst way possible. I started going to college parties, very frequently. _Very _frequently. I did some drinking, I did some things I regret, I did some things I don't even remember. Out of character? Yep, I'd have to agree with you. It was stupid and I'm lucky I didn't get hurt, or worse. This behaviour lasted for a few months.

Surprisingly, Jade is the one who finally snapped me out of that phase. My friends were very worried about me for a long time, but I had lost the ability to care due to depression. One night, Jade yanked my drunk-ass out of a ditch and started yelling at me. She started saying things about how despicable I was, how Cat would be incredibly disappointed in me and how would she feel if she came back one day and I was in this state. Despite my intoxication, that got to me. With the help of my friends and family, I started to get on the right track again. It was at that year-mark memorial where I made my promise to Cat that I would pick myself and make her proud, wherever she was.

My first step was getting back into music. I missed my window with Andre – he felt bad for me, but he already had a singer and they had fallen in love. I couldn't replace her now. I understood, so I started recording on the side and sending out CD's to different record companies. I don't think you realize the amount of competition there is in L.A. for this kind of thing. Most of the time CD's aren't even looked at. Apparently, singing at The Platinum Music Awards gets you nowhere anymore. I knew I would have to wait awhile, so I started posting some small videos of me playing piano and singing some covers of songs on SplashFace.

Surprisingly, the covers got pretty decent views and people seemed to like it. I kept doing more and I kept gaining more viewers and subscribers. It was a great medium for me to express myself without getting all the disappointment of never hearing back from a producer. Obviously there were a few hurtful comments, but for the most part the comments were very supportive. I kept handing in CD's, but I shifted a lot of my focus to SplashFace. I even got Robbie to teach me some guitar so I could expand my horizons. I'm practiced with a guitar for one and a half years now and I'm not perfect, but I'm pretty good.

My subscribers seemed to like me not only for my music and singing voice, but they also liked me for being personable. I would release vlogs from time to time or Q&A's to have a better relationship with viewers. It got to the point where I had a large enough SplashFace following that SplashFace contacted me and offered a partnership. That's right. I'm now a SplashFacer.

I'm hardly the most popular SplashFacer on the site, but I get about 100,000-500,000 views per video on the first day, generally. Sometimes if I cover a popular song, the views reach into the one million mark. I can also boast over 800, 000 subscribers, which is just mind boggling to me. It's decent money, I have to admit. I mean, I'm still working toward that dream of being a pop star, but I have a job through music. I can't complain.

2016 is when everyone in my life started leaving again. Trina became a spokesperson for weight-loss programs across the country. Apparently her passion on the subject was very inspiring. Who knew? Beck became the face of a male shampoo in a series of commercials. He was even more popular than the Old Spice guy. Robbie eventually grew out of the idea that Rex was a separate entity, but he still kept Rex around for his comedy routine. Robbie has become a very successful comedian with Rex and is now touring with his "ventriloquism made funny again" shtick. Now, get this. Jade has been on the prowl to become a director, and is now assistant directing with Tim Burton for his next film. I'll just let that sink in for a moment… Yeah. That's right. I'm happy for her, honestly. Ever since she pulled me out of that ditch, we've considered each other friends, and I'm eternally grateful to her.

As you know, Andre is producing music. He and his girlfriend have put out two top 40 hits already, which is awesome. All my friends are slowly becoming household names. Then there's me. I'm a SplashFace name. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for what SplashFace has given me but when all your friends are either out of the state or too busy living out their dreams it's hard not to feel lonely or left behind. It's those days where I feel like that where I miss Cat the most. She would probably touch my arm gently and tilt her head to the side, smiling brightly. "But Tori!" She would say, "You're so good at everything you do! You just haven't found the way to stardom in a way that can handle you!" Yeah, that's what she would say. And then I would feel instantly better. I think I miss that most about her. Her comforting presence.

Things started to turn around for me at Christmas of 2016. I got called by a recording studio that had seen my videos and saw a lot of promise for me and they wanted to sign me. So I should be ecstatic, right? This is my big break? Yeah, maybe. But the problem was… this recording studio is based in _Canada_.

"It's based in Canada, Andre!" I whined to him after I got the phone call. We happened to be chilling at the time. He shrugged at my statement.

"So?" He asked.

"So… when does Canada ever produce popular artists?" I groaned. He leaned back in his chair, holding up a hand and counting off his fingers.

"Let's see… Justin Bieber, Bryan Adams, Simple Plan, Shania Twain, Rush, Avril Lavinge, Nickleback, Drake, Nelly Furtado, Alexisonfire, Walk Off The Earth-"

"Okay thank you." I snapped. "Look, I know this is a good opportunity but… but it's Canada! I mean… is it worth it?" I asked. He pondered for a moment.

"Alright, so let's look at the cons of going…" He trailed off.

"It's cold. There are polar bears. It's not nearly as successful at producing recording artists as L.A. is. I don't know French. I don't know anything about Canada. It's far from home. And it's cold." I listed. Andre let out a sigh.

"Yes well as superficial as most of that was, the pros that I see are… there's much less competition with the Canadian music industry than there is in L.A. so you're probably more likely to garner some success there. Plus, moving away to a new place will give you new experiences to fuel your creativity. It might be good for you to get out of this place for a while. C'mon, Tor. This might be just what you need. Weren't you feeling stuck? Go breathe that fresh, Canadian air!" He exclaimed.

"Yeah, but…" I tried to argue. "What… what about this recording studio? Singing Falcon Records? I've never heard of them. How do I know they're legitimate?" I pointed out. Again, he shrugged. I wished his shoulders would stop doing that.

"You don't have to stay with them if they turn out not what they say they are. But I still think you should stay in… where is it?"

"Toronto."

"Right. You should check out this recording studio and stay in Toronto. If that place doesn't work out, hand out some other CD's, who knows? Give it… at least eight months. Have some experiences. Meet new people. Maybe find a boyfriend or girlfriend." He winked.

"Oh shut up." I rolled my eyes. It was pretty common knowledge amongst my friends and family now that I'm bisexual. Generally, everyone who struggles with their sexuality has that person that they fall for that makes them realize "yep, I swing that way". Cat was that person for me. I think that's part of why I was so distraught. In a selfish way, I felt so broken from her leaving me questioning myself like that without any help from her. "It's still cold there."

"Buy a jacket." Andre stated. Damnit. I couldn't fight his logic. "Oh, and one more thing." He holds up a finger as some sort of demonstration to his point.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Cat would want you to." He claimed. I immediately glared at him.

"Andre Harris don't you pull that shit on me." I said scathingly.

"You _know _it's true, Tori. Cat would want you to take this risk. I'm sure you would be doing her proud so far. You've come a long way. But if you pass this up, you might as well be giving her a slap in the face." Andre stated. Oh, no he didn't.

"You shut your fucking mouth." I snapped. But I knew he was right. He was right and I couldn't help but admit it. Cat w_ould _want me to.

"I'm just sayin'…" Andre grumbled. I let out a cross between a sigh and a huff.

"Fine. I'll call them back and tell them I'll fly out there and take a look." I agreed reluctantly. I rolled my eyes at his annoying smile of victory and then I called. They were very happy.

So I figured out immigration, which was surprisingly easy and I got a temporary residency. I found out that living in Toronto was expensive, but thanks to my funds saved up from SplashFace I was able to find a small studio apartment for rent that had okay reviews in the downtown area near the recording studio. Not very extravagant, but hey, it's not like I planned to stay there very long. I even negotiated an eight-month lease with the landlord.

After an emotional goodbye with friends and family, the New Year saw me flying into Pearson Airport in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. The only things I had on me were clothes, hygiene products, my phone, my computer, my recording devices, my keyboard, my guitar and finally, Mr. Purple which I had stolen from Cat's room. I couldn't help myself.

Thanks to my light packing, settling in was easy enough. The building had a bit of a musty smell, but my room was on the 3rd floor, was cozy and looked over the Toronto streets. The superintendent seems grumpy, but not in a "bitter at the world" sort of way. More like an anti-social kind of way. Maybe I'll warm up to him eventually. There were a couple of other units on my floor, but I'd have to see if I could make nice with them later. I realized I was starving but I didn't actually have anything to cook with or eat off of. I'm a genius. For some reason I just thought they'd provide these things. Why not? My mom always did! How did I ever get this far in life?

Second genius move: I came here with a bunch of cash and I didn't convert ANY OF IT. What, did I think just because their money is also called "dollars" that I could get away with it? It took me like two weeks to figure out the homeless on the street that said "could you spare a loonie?" were actually asking for a Canadian dollar. I thought they just wanted a crazy friend for company. Turns out, I'm the loonie.

Still, the panic was setting in. Would they take my money? My bank card? My credit card? Turns out, yes. Plenty of places in Toronto were willing to take my American bills and I was able to get a good meal as well as pots, pans, plates, glasses, and some ingredients for cooking. Not bad, Canada. I might just warm up to you.

Speaking of which, I was wrong when I said that it was going to be cold. It's not cold. It's _freezing_. When I step outside it feels like my skin is becoming one with the ice. There were a few times where I stopped being able to feel my cheek bones and I couldn't even talk because my lips were numb. Whenever the wind blows I just feel like dying. I should have gotten a thicker jacket… like a parka. Surprisingly, I haven't seen any snow yet.

Despite my hatred of the cold, after I got all the things I needed to settle in to my new place I had to head down to the studio to meet these mysterious record producers. He sounded nice enough on the phone. I just hoped it wasn't some sort of scam.

"Singing Falcon Records." I read above the door. The name of the store had an image of a falcon carrying a vinyl in its talons. I had to admit, I liked the image. I took a deep breath before pushing the door open, the bell above tingling as I stepped in from the cold.

My first impression of the place was that it was dark and small. There was dim lighting and the walls and floor were all black. It was also cluttered. There seemed to be a small reception area with a desk and some filing cabinets, and behind that small area it broke off into two rooms – one was the recording studio with the sound board and levers that I could see through the window, and in the room was the sound booth. Again, very small. I didn't even think there was a bathroom in there.

And then there were the people. Sitting at the desk with his legs up on the table, huge headphones on and fiddling with his phone was a guy about my age with short, spiked black hair and a goatee. He hadn't even noticed I had come in and his wardrobe consisted of an overly large red track jacket, baggy sweat pants and large shoes that were way too colourful for the human eye. Plus, he had a giant gold chain around his neck. Great. He looks like a real douche.

Besides him I could see through the window into the recording room there was a girl writing at a table, facing me. She was also about my age with blonde curls that went to about chin-length. She was wearing a black t-shirt with some blue band insignia on it and a grey long-sleeved shirt under that. She looked up and our eyes met. She stared for a second before looking over to the guy sitting at the desk beside me.

"Vik." She called out, though it was pretty muffled even though the door beside the window was open. She slides her chair to pop her head out the door. "Hey, Vik." Again, no response from the guy. "Vik, we have company!" She called out again. The guy kept bopping his head along to whatever he was listening to. "God damnit…" The girl sighed, sliding away to grab her pencil, then she slid back to the open door and chucked it, hitting the guy in the back of the head. The guy jumped and yanked his head phones off, quickly craning his head to look at his assaulter.

"What the hell! You could have stabbed me in the back of the brain! I could be dead now. I hope you know that." He grumbled.

"Yeah-huh. By the way, our possible-but-probably-won't-be client is here." The girl sighed. The guy tensed and turned to look at me. He paused and then quickly went to get up, but his legs tangled in the headphones wires and he quickly fell over.

"Aw, shit…" He groaned on the ground.

"Classy." The girl drawled, moving back to behind the window. The guy slowly got up and brushed himself off.

"Uh, hi! Sorry about that… and… the mess…" He trailed off, looking at the desk full of take-out containers, used napkins and soda cans. We both stared at it a moment before he swipes it off in one swift motion behind the desk and out of sight. I raised my eyebrow. Suddenly my impression of this guy went from cocky douchebag to nervous spaz.

"Boy you fancy, huh." The girl drawled out again. The guy shot her a look before turning to me with an apologetic smile.

"So, uh…" He reached out a hand towards me. "My name is Vikas Singh, but you can call me Vik. I'm the founder-"

"Ehem." The girl emphasized from the back.

"Er, co-founder of this recording studio. You must be Tori?"

I reached out and shook his hand. Luckily I wasn't grabbed and chloroformed. Good sign, right? "Yeah, Tori Vega." I greeted, shaking his hand.

"And that anti-social butterfly over there is Nicky Chen, the other co-founder. You can ignore her." Vik explained.

"Sup." Nicky nodded at me before turning back to her writing. She seemed like a Jade. Wonderful. Vik scratched the back of his neck in discomfort.

"Again, sorry about my awkwardness and the mess… We weren't expecting you for another hour." Vik sighed.

"Yeah, sorry. I had some free time so I thought I'd drop in early. I would've called but I haven't got a plan set up yet for my phone…" I described. Vik held up his hands.

"No worries. But now that you're here…" He stated, turning to ruffle through some papers in the filing cabinet. He turned back with a stack of papers. "Let's talk some business."

"Yeah, the business of her shutting us down and leaving. Like all the others…" Nicky grumbled and Vik shot her a glare.

"As you know, I found your videos on SplashFace and I was very impressed. So was Nicky." Vik explained.

"Sure was." I barely heard Nicky's mumble.

"Sooo… we thought we could maybe strike a deal, do some professional recordings for your channel, see where that gets you…" Vik said.

"That sounds good." I stated. He smiled at me.

"Glad you think so! We may not be a very big company but I swear we both take our jobs very seriously." Vik assured me.

"If we actually get work." Nicky huffed. We both stared at her. Vik shook his head and turned to me again.

"And in time we can probably find a way to break you out into the mainstream and release a CD of original music. Maybe we can even get you to open for someone at The Sound Academy. Who knows? The possibilities are endless!" Vik exclaimed.

"Oh yeah! The Sound Academy! Way to aim high there. Good thing we have _all _those connections in the city to get that. Oh, wait." Nicky scoffed.

"Nicky, please!" Vik exasperated.

"Well go on, Vik. Tell her what she came all the way here for. Tell her how many clients we have. Go on. Tell her." Nicky urged darkly. I blinked at both of them.

"Uh, how many _do _you have?" I asked.

"Just you." Vik sighed.

"If you even stick around." Nicky mumbled. Vik whipped his head back to her.

"Why do you always do this? Maybe this is why we don't get any clients!" Vik snapped.

"People deserve to know what they're getting into! You promise people all these things, but how do you know we can deliver them? We're a sham, Vik. A joke. This girl is really talented and she'd probably be better off somewhere else to get a record deal." Nicky argued.

"What's with your attitude? You wanted to start this just as much as I did! What happened to excited Nicky?" Vik huffed.

"It went out the door with every potential client we've ever had after they found out we've never done any good in the music business!" Nicky snapped.

"Wait, what?" I cut in. Vik turned to me, hands clasped.

"Ah, you see… We're still relatively new… Still trying to get our feet off the ground, so the speak. So… generally people want big names, you know? Someone who can shoot them off to stardom? To be honest, we can't do that… but we _can _get the ball rolling. And I think it'll be a good thing for all of us… starting off together. Maybe you could be our first big break, huh? Leap of faith?" Vik pleaded. I stared at him for a moment. So I came all this way for a mediocre record company…

"Just let her go, Vik. Tori, I'm sorry for the disappointment." Nicky said.

I was supposed to become a pop star…

"Nicky, every record company had to start somewhere." Vik argued.

And to be rejected again and again for two years…

"I feel like they had more luck than us. We just look young and naïve to everyone." Nicky complained.

I kind of know how these guys feel. I'm trying to get started too.

"Yeah, but we have the heart." Vik stated. Nicky made a gagging sound.

I mean, they seem nice enough. Maybe this will be good for me.

"Look, Tori, I can't force you into anything, but if you would just think about it… I think we can help you…" Vik trailed off.

Plus, I _really _don't want to spend the next eight months handing out CD's.

"I'll do it." I stated.

"Wh…what?" Vik blinked.

"I'll sign with you. We'll do that recording thing. Sound Academy. Whatever. I'm here. I might as well try this out." I said. Vik blinked at me again and Nicky poked her head up.

"What'd she say?" Nicky asked, pushing her chair back so her head is poking out the door again. She stood up and quickly walked over to me. "Say that again."

"I'll sign with you guys. I think it'll be fine." I explained. And then something changed in Nicky, as if her cold heart just warmed right up as her face broke into a giant smile.

"Aw right! Woohoo! We got a client! Yeah!" She cheered, throwing an arm around me. "Come here, you." And then she gave me a noogie.

"Okay, don't rough up our first client!" Vik laughed, grabbing a sheet of paper and a pen. Nicky let go of me and he held the contract and pen out to me. "Ready to sign?"

"Sure am." I smiled. I hoped I knew what I was getting into. But fuck it, I was in Toronto. Like Andre said, time for new experiences! I just hoped I wouldn't regret it later. I signed the sheet of paper while they both happily watched.

"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership." Nicky stated.

And it was.

And it became more than a partnership, too. Vik, Nicky and I became fast friends within a month. We were always at the recording studio recording, goofing around or just hanging out. I found out Nicky and Vik met in high school and both had a love for music, but neither was talented at making any with instruments or voices. Vik was pretty good at mixing and Nicky was good at finding cool new interesting sounds. Plus, she kept the atmosphere pretty upbeat. She's not another Jade at all. Nicky was bitter about her failing business, but once I signed on she showed her true self – a spunky, upbeat person. Vik seemed to like having her back to normal as well.

Vik's fashion choices left something to be desired, as Nicky agreed with, but he was a super nice guy and a bit of a goofball. He definitely comes off as the big brother type. They both started this company together once they left high school and they've been trying to get it off the ground ever since. Vik's dream is to put out a Platinum selling album. Nicky's dream is to sign with a heartthrob singer like Justin Timberlake – but she says I'll do for now.

So that's it. You're all caught up now. This has been my life for the last three years and today is the anniversary of Cat's disappearance. No matter how well I might be doing or whatever distractions there are in my life, this day will always get me down. So here I am at Singing Falcon trying to record, but it's not going great.

"Uh, Tori. That was flat. Again. Where's your usual passion? You want these back vocals to be put on your channel before the end of the month, right?" Vik questions.

"Yeah, T. You're bumming me out." Nicky frowns. I tear off my headphones in the booth, frustrated.

"Sorry, I'm trying. I'm just not into it today." I sigh. Vik and Nicky glace at each other.

"Okay, kid. Get out here and come talk to us." Nicky demands. I narrow my eyes at her.

"Kid? You're both only two years older than me." I scoff.

"Not the point! Come, girl." Nicky whistles, making Vik laugh. I smile and roll my eyes before leaving the booth. Nicky jumps up, grabs me by the shoulders and slams me down onto her chair. She grabs another rolling chair, straddles the back and gives me a pointed look. Vik leans in with his chin on his fist as he flutters his eyelashes, making me chuckle. These goofballs…

"So, fess up. What's got your mind all occupied?" Vik asks.

"Are you homesick? Are you missing your American Eagles?" Nicky pipes up.

"You know there are Bald Eagles in the Hamilton area." Vik informs.

"Yeah! We could take you to see them so you feel all patriotic and shit." Nicky suggests, earning Vik pointing at her and raising his eyebrows at me. I smile and shake my head.

"No, it's not that." I sigh. I mean, I am missing home a little bit, but that's not why I'm sad.

"Then what is it?" Vik asks.

"I don't know if I want to talk about it." I mumble.

"Come on, you can tell us. We're buds! Right?" Nicky urges.

"Right. But I don't know, it's just a hard thing to talk about." I sigh.

"Did you eat some bad sushi?" Nicky asks.

"Nicky, she doesn't want to talk about it. Leave her alone." Vik scolds.

"But I want to know now." She pouts.

"Too bad! The client is always right." Vik states. Nicky lets out a sigh.

"FINE, fine… Your secrets safe with… you." Nicky says. I smile gratefully.

"Thanks." I say. They both get up and start walking away, but I feel myself overcome with an overwhelming desire to unload my feelings. I mean, I'm emotional today, I can't sing like this, and they deserve an explanation. "In 2014 I had a best friend. Today is the three year anniversary of when she was kidnapped and I've never heard from her since."

Nicky and Vik stare at me for a moment before quickly shuffling back to their chairs to sit by me. "Whoa, no shit, eh?" Vik frowns.

"That's awful, T. No wonder you're all in a funk." Nicky sighs.

"Want to have a heart to heart?" Vik asks. I look down, a shaky breath wracking my shoulders.

"We were… really close. I went through a rough time coping and I still have days where I can't stop thinking about it. Today is hard, obviously. You'd think I'd be able to move on but I can't… it still feels so fresh." I mumble.

"Sounds like you really miss her." Vik states.

"Duh." Nicky scoffs, smacking Vik in the back of the head.

"I do. I really do. I mean, I think part of me still believes she's out there. I almost wish they'd find a body or something so I could get closure and make my peace… at the same time, I _really _hope she's still out there." I choke out, tears starting to flood my vision. I haven't opened up about Cat like this in a long time. Vik and Nicky glance at each other.

"Hey Tori…" Vik starts. I look at him. "Since you've come to Toronto, have you really seen anything outside of your apartment and this studio?"

I furrow my brow at him. What an odd change in subject. "Well, that and the grocery store. Why?" I ask. They glance at each other again and then Nicky gives me a smirk.

"Why don't we take the day off? See some sights, take in the Toronto culture…" Nicky suggests.

"Like what? The CN Tower? I'm pretty sure I can see that sight no matter where I stand in Toronto." I state.

"Well what about the Eaton Centre? Retail therapy!" Nicky exclaims. Ah, so this is their way of cheering me up. That's actually really nice of them.

"And from there we can go to Yonge and Dundas Square. That place is nice." Vik says.

"Yeah! Lunch at the Hard Rock!" Nicky whoops, punching her fist in the air.

"Yonge and Dundas Square?" I question.

"It's uh… it's like the Toronto version of Times Square." Vik explains. I raise my eyebrow. Then why hadn't I ever heard of it?

"Well great. Sounds good to me. How do we get there?" I ask.

"We walk." He grins, knowing my weakness for the cold. I gasp at him.

"What?! It's freezing out!" I groan.

"C'mon it's only two degrees out… that's not even below freezing." He states.

"Two degrees in Fahrenheit is." I grumble.

"No worries, kid. We'll cut through the Eaton Centre. The entrance is only a few blocks away." Nicky assures me, pulling me up. "Maybe we can get you a new jacket while we're there. One that isn't made out of tissue paper."

"Hey, this jacket was very expensive and top quality." I complain, picking it up from the rack. Nicky bounds over and ruffles her hands through the material.

"Top quality _style _wise, maybe. Where'd you get this, L.A.? There isn't even a lining on this thing!" Nicky scolds. I look over to Vik for help but he already has his hands bunched up into his large warm jacket, and he shrugs.

"Don't look at me. According to you two, I know nothing about fashion." He scoffs.

"Got that right." Nicky rolls her eyes.

After a chilly walk we found ourselves in the four stories of shopping outlets that was the Eaton Centre. And yes, I bought a new jacket and threw it on right away. Much warmer, thank god. I was going to get frost bite soon. Nicky bought some things from Lush and then Vik pretended like he wasn't interested in anything being sold at Lids before heading outside again. For winter, it was a busy area of the city both pedestrian and automobile traffic wise. There were a couple of LED billboards, some neon signs and such.

"So, where's Yonge and Dundas Square or whatever?" I ask, feeling grateful for my new warm coat. Vik spreads his arms wide.

"This is it. Welcome to Yonge and Dundas Square." He announces. I gape at him for a moment waiting for him to tell me he's kidding. But no, no he's serious. And now I'm laughing.

"I thought you said… I thought you said this was like Times Square." I laugh hysterically. I take a moment to wipe away a tear before it freezes on my face. "I mean I've never been to the _real _Times Square but I know it's way more impressive than **this**."

"He didn't say it was 'like Times Square' he said it was 'The Toronto Times Square'. Get it right." Nicky smirks, punching me lightly on the shoulder.

"Glad it cheered you up at least." Vik chuckles, giving me a one-armed hug. "It's better in the summer. Water shoots from the ground over there and buskers perform everywhere, and people give away free stuff… and it's warmer."

"Sounds like a paradise." I roll my eyes.

"Can we eat now? You _know _how I get when I'm hungry. Cranky Nicky comes out to play." Nicky whines.

"Okay, okay. Sure." Vik chuckles.

"Whoop! Well, there's the Hard Rock right there." Nicky points to literally across the street. Vik holds up a finger.

"Or." He states.

"Or…" Both Nicky and I say in unison.

"**Or **we can go to The Larksong Diner." Vik suggests. Nicky enthusiastically jumps in the air.

"Yes! Oh, I haven't been there in forever." Nicky exclaims. "Maybe it'll be good for T, too."

"Sorry, what's The Larksong Diner and why will it be good for me? Do they have vegan food or something?" I ask. Vik chuckles, shaking his head.

"Tori, The Larksong Diner is one of Toronto's best kept secrets. It has some good eats and the serving staff is really talented. They regularly serenade you." Vik explains. "I don't know, maybe it'll help you feel the music again so we can get back to recording."

"That actually sounds pretty great. I'm in." I grin.

"Woo! I am so having their mozzarella sticks." Nicky cheers. Definitely not vegan. "Come on, it's down a few blocks." She says. We turn and that's when I see it.

It was only for a moment, but that's all my needed for my brain to go absolutely haywire. Through the crowd of people, I saw a flash of red. Red hair, the colour of red velvet. My heart catches in my throat and I just moving towards where I saw the vision of red. I can only vaguely hear a confused Nicky and Vik calling out to me. I can't listen now. That was Cat. It had to have been. I'd recognize that red hair anymore. I know deep down that it's impossible. Why would she be walking around Yonge and Dundas Square in Toronto? But I shove all these thoughts down. I know I'll regret it if I don't pursue this. I need to know it's real. It's that desperate part of me clinging to the idea that Cat is still alive.

This pushes me forward, shoving through the crowd amongst all the apologies from the people I was pushing aside. I couldn't see the hair anymore. But I know it was there. I have to find it again. I have to find it. I have to find _her_-

"**TORI!**"

I hear Vik's frantic voice break through my trance just in time to see the car screeching towards me. I leap out of the way and roll almost into another car which stops just before the front bumper hits me, horn blaring. I sit there in shock.

"Hey, what the hell's wrong with you?!" One of the drivers shouts out his window.

"Whoa, sorry! Sorry, everyone. Small mistake. She's new to the city and didn't understand the cross walks here. Very sorry." Nicky claims loudly after her and Vik ran out onto the street to me. Vik helps me up and I glance over the staring crowd. No red hair.

I'm dragged to the sidewalk and Vik grasps me by the shoulders, looking me over. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" He asks.

I shake my head, trembling. "No, I'm good. Just startled." I say quietly. Vik lets out an exasperated sigh.

"Thank god. Geez, Vega, only you could cross a street somewhere with vertical, horizontal _and _diagonal crosswalks and s_till _nearly get hit by a car." Vik huffs.

"What was that all about, anyway? You took off like you were on a mission, and apparently no disregard for your own life." Nicky accuses. Vik shoots her a look.

"I'm sorry. I just… I thought I… no, it's stupid." I sigh.

"Stupid is better than no explanation at all." Nicky crosses her arms.

"Fine… I thought I saw my friend who disappeared three years ago…" I mumble. Vik and Nicky give each other worried looks.

"Man, Tori. I guess we didn't realize just how much today was eating you up." Vik sighs.

"…Come on. Let's go to the diner, get some food in you." Nicky suggests. I nod and we head off. I know they think I'm crazy and just a bit emotional today. Hell, I think I'm crazy and overly emotional. But… I know what I saw. I saw Cat. I know I did.

We get to the diner and it looks like any other 50's or 60's diner, filled with baby blue and neon pink. The far left corner has a stage opposite the kitchen on the other corner, and the waiters and waitresses are in flashy show outfits as if they just stepped on to the Las Vegas stage (except the female outfits were a bit more subtle). Nearby, a waiter was singing the specials to a booth. Well that's cute. I could see myself liking this place, if my mind wasn't still reeling from what happened in the square…

We take a seat and I'm pretty silent throughout the meal. It's good food, and the singing waitress was charming, especially when Vik got her to sing me happy birthday despite it not being my birthday, but I was still feeling pretty shaken up. Vik and Nicky kept glancing at each other worriedly. At one point, a plump woman with short orange hair and apron walks by.

"Excuse me. Is there going to be a performance this afternoon?" Vik asks her.

"Ah, sorry to say but most of our performance staff is sick with the flu and our other two performers are off today. I can get some of the waiters to sing you something now, though…" The woman suggests. I see on her name tag it reads Beverly. Well, that reminds me of Beverly Hills. Vik holds up his hand.

"No, that's fine. I was just wondering." Vik sighs. Beverly thinks for a moment.

"We have a performance staff back on tomorrow and she'll be performing tomorrow night. Her name is Stacy and she is a crowd favourite." Beverly explains. Vik flashes a smile.

"Thank you. We'll keep that in mind." He says. Beverly nods and wishes us a good rest of the meal.

"Man, sucks that there's no performances today. The singing waiters are cool but the performances are _killer. _Real inspirational, if you ask me." Nicky gushes.

"She's right. It's why we brought you here." Vik states. I give them a grateful smile. Vik sighs and leans forward over the table. "How about you take the next few days off from the studio. Focus on yourself."

"What? Vik, I couldn't do that. We have a lot of work to d-" I start.

"Kid, please. Like I said earlier, you're bumming us out. As our first client a_nd _our friend, we care about your well-being. Feel better, cope with some feelings, and then come back and belt out your feelings. Kay?" Nicky states. I smile at them again.

"Thanks, guys. You're the greatest." I mutter.

"You're stating the obvious, but we'll take it." Vik grins. "But I'd really recommend that you come here again. See the performance and get pumped about your future career." He suggests. I give a nod.

"Okay. I'll think about it." I promise.

* * *

**January 28****th****, 2017**

"So, wait, start from the beginning." Andre requests, rubbing his head. We still try to video chat frequently, and after the events yesterday, I contacted him saying it was an emergency.

"Okay, so I was in the Toronto Times Square…" I start to explain.

"Toronto has a Times Square?"

"Not really. It's more of a busy intersection with some flashy billboards." I state, rubbing my hip tenderly. I slightly bruised it falling on it yesterday in that same busy intersection.

"Isn't that basically what Times Square is?" He asks.

"I… guess. Not the point! Listen, I was there and I saw Cat." I claim. Andre stares at me through the screen for a moment.

"So like… a stray cat…" He says slowly. I roll my eyes.

"No! I mean Cat Cat. Cat Valentine." I state. Again, he stares.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure! Well, maybe."

"Maybe?"

"I didn't really get a good look." I admit.

"And what, exactly, did you not get a good look at?" Andre interrogates.

"…"

"Tori…"

"I saw red hair." I say quietly. Andre throws his hands up in the air.

"Oh, god, not this again…" He groans.

"It's different this time, I swear!" I insist.

"How, Tori? Do you know how many people in the world have red hair?" Andre goads.

"It was her shade, Andre." I state firmly.

"Yeah, so was the hair of about twenty other people."

"Well that's-"

"And that red balloon…"

"In my defence, that had a face drawn on it."

"The Ronald McDonald impersonator…"

"We got free cheeseburgers out of that one."

"The Doritos bag…"

"Okay, okay! Maybe that one was a bit of a stretch." I huff. "I just… I want to believe it was her _so _bad, Andre." I sniff. His face softens.

"I know, Tor. I know. We all do. But I think we have to face the facts…" Andre trails off when he sees my face. "…Listen. It was the anniversary of… when we got the news she wasn't around anymore. I get that it's a hard time for you. Just try to take a load off."

"Yeah… yeah, okay." I sigh.

"I'm sorry, Tori…" He mumbles.

"No, no you're right. I… I need to face facts, even if all the facts aren't there." I mutter. We're silent for a moment.

"Don't go all depressed on me again, Tori." Andre sighs.

"What? Without Jade here to pull me out of a ditch? No way…" I scoff. He chuckles a bit and then looks at me seriously.

"Try to forget about Cat. Not in the sense that you _forget _about her. Just… go out and do stuff. Safe, fun stuff." Andre emphasizes. I roll my eyes.

"Thanks, mom."

"I'm serious."

"I know." I smile. "Thanks Andre."

"Do you still believe it was her?" He asks. I'm silent for a moment.

"I'm going to head out. Talk to you later, Andre." I sigh.

"…Okay. Bye Tor." He says quietly. I click the hang up button and sigh, flopping back on my bed. What's wrong with me? Why can't I just let Cat go…

Why would I want to? Cat was sweet, and kind, and funny and pretty, and comforting… _is_, Tori. **Is**. I turn on my side and feel the tears flood in my eyes, but I quickly wipe them away. Andre was right. Vik and Nicky were right. I need to get out. I won't let this drag me down again, not when things are starting to pick up for me.

I grab my nice warm coat, and I head out.

* * *

I find myself back in The Larksong Diner around dinner time. The lighting in here is much darker, with only stage lights along the floor lighting things up as well as a spotlight on the stage in the corner. I grab a booth and wait. It isn't sad that I'm here alone, right? I mean, I would have called Vik and Nicky but I wanted to give them a break from me after yesterday. This is fine… I just want to see one of these performances they raved about. Maybe it _will _give me the kick I need.

A singing waiter takes my order and I wait patiently, listening to a harmonized happy birthday being sung at a table nearby. I could really grow to love this place… make it a regular hang out… And then I see it.

Okay, I know I said that yesterday, but now I _really _see it. Across the room, standing at a booth in a waitress outfit… is a girl with red velvet hair. She's facing away so I can't see her face… but that's definitely not a Doritos bag. I just sit there and stare at her back side. I don't approach her. Apparently running after red hair and nearly getting hit by several cars deterred me from that habit. So I just stare. Watching. And then she turns and…

I panic. I immediately grab the dessert menu and shuffle in the corner of the booth, holding it over my face. I watch her legs as they come over and walk by. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding before craning my neck to look at her. Her red hair sways in her high ponytail as she heads off to her next destination. Shit. I still never saw her face. I know I won't rest until I see it, so I crane my neck…

"Sorry for the wait, Miss. Here is your Angus Burger and fries." The waiter says, making me jump as he places the plate in front of me.

"Um th-thank you." I stutter.

"Are you okay, Miss?" He asks.

"That waitress!" I gasp out. "The one with the red hair… Who is she?" I ask. The waiter looks surprised, but then he smiles.

"Oh, you mean Stacy? Yeah, she's pretty popular with customers." He explains. Stacy? That sounds familiar, but it's not Cat… I don't know what I was expecting. "Anything else? A song before the main event?" He asks.

"No, no thank you…" I mumble. He nods and walks away. I pick at my burger dully. I'm never going to get away from these Cat visions, am I? Still, I can't beat this nagging feeling. I crane my head again to search for the redheaded waitress, but I can't seem to find her anymore. I sigh, getting back to my dinner. Get a grip, Tori.

"Excuse me, diners." A voice comes from the corner. One of the waiters is standing under the spotlight with a microphone. The place quiets down. "I hope everyone is enjoying their meals. We've got a treat for you tonight. She's one of our finest, with a soulful voice like no other… please welcome to the stage, Stacy Robins!" He announces. The diner erupts in applause and I perk up. The back curtain raises and I see the redheaded waitress in a more revealing and sparkly outfit, her back to the audience. I swear, it's like her face is teasing me. Music starts playing and the girl starts bobbing her hips to the slow doo-wop song. I can't help but stare a little… Clean thoughts, Tori… And then she opens her mouth.

"_La la, la la. La la, la, la._"

That sounds… a lot like…

She turns around.

"_I want you to love me,_"

Oh. My. God.

"_Like I'm a hot car ride._

_Oh you think you know me,_

_Doin' what you like._"

She sounds like Cat. She looks like Cat. Either Stacy is some lost twin sister, or…

"_So forget about the world 'cause,_

_It's gonna be me and you tonight_."

She saunters up to the side of the stage, dropping low and pointing at a nearby table, earning some hoots from the audience. She slowly rights herself and heads centre stage.

"_I'm going to make you beg for it,_

_I'm going to make you swallow your pride._"

I am so close to just running up on that stage, but I seem to have lost control of my… everything. And then… That voice…

"_Want you to make me feel, _

_Like I'm the only girl in the world_."

No doubt about it. That's Cat. I would recognize that resonance in a voice anywhere.

"_Want you to make me feel,_

_Like I'm the only girl in the world._"

And she is. Forget about girl, she's the only person in the world to me right now. And then she looks in my direction, and I feel my body start up again as I drop down under the booth. Why did I end up down here?

"_Want you to make me feel…_

_Like I'm the only girl, in the world_."

The music picks up into the usual version of the song.

"Is everybody having a good time tonight?" Cat speaks into the microphone. The diners cheer but I'm just like, no. No I'm not. I'm under a table completely terrified at the notion of you seeing me right now.

Cat continues to sing the rest of the song and I know I need to get out of there. I fiddle with my purse and drop a twenty (Canadian) on the table before starting to crawl out. I don't know why I'm so nervous. I have enough experience from performing under a spotlight to know that you can't see the features of faces in the audience while you're up there. Luckily, that also means you can't see people crawling out the door. I think Cat was being too mesmerizing for anyone else to see me, either.

I get outside, immediately throw myself against the side of the building and clutch my chest, trying not to hyperventilate. This wasn't some illusion. This wasn't my emotions playing a trick on me. That was Cat, through and through. And now? Now I have absolutely no fucking idea what to do.

I need to wait for her. That's what I'll do. She'll need to leave eventually, right? Perfect. These places have back doors, correct? I leave the upbeat sounds of Cat's version of "Only Girl in the World" to go down the alleyway heading out back. And then I wait. I hide out by the dumpster, which smells awful, but it's okay because my nose freezes soon enough. I watch as staff member after staff member leaves, them not noticing me as they head home for the night. I feel like I'm waiting forever. It's getting late and I'm about to give up when the back door opens again.

"Great job tonight, Stacy. You slayed." I hear a voice as Cat steps out, now covered in a beige, half-cut trench coat. She turns to look in.

"Thanks! Have a good night, Bev." She says.

"You too." The voice says back. Cat closes the door and I step out of my hiding place.

I don't know what to say, so I just let whatever comes to my mind spill out of my mouth.

"C-Cat?" I stammer. She freezes, back to me and facing the door. I take a big gulp of air. "Cat, is that you?"

She stands there for a moment before turning slowly to face me, her eyes wide. She speaks in that high voice of hers, saying what I never thought I'd hear from her again.

"Tori…"

* * *

**Author's Notes: That happened. That was a thing that took place and it is an event and then I cut it off. Think of it more like a dramatic pause than a cliffhanger. You have no idea how many eggs and coffee I consumed to keep myself awake to get this out to you. Being back at university is killing me already. So, this story is taking place in Toronto, and that's fantastic for me because I know the area well and I can give more detailed situations due to that. Plus, I get to portray Canadian quirkiness and that's always fun. I hope this is okay with everyone. **

**So obviously a lot of this chapter involved flashbacks and explanations from Tori about what you missed between now and the prologue. I hope you liked what I did. I really had to dig deep to figure out how someone in Tori's situation would react to something like that. Either way, Cat seems to be alive and well. I'm sure you have questions, as does Tori... Next chapter! Review if you like - let me know what you thought. Your words are invaluable to me.**

**Fun Fact: The Larksong Diner is based off of Ellen's Stardust Diner in New York City where the waitstaff does sing... Does Toronto actually have a place like this? No. Should it? UHH YES. **


	3. Reunion

**D****isclaimer: To the not owning! To the not owning Victorious! To the sweat drop down my lack of ownership! To "Get Low" by Lil Jon not being owned either!**

...What have I done? (Aw skeet skeet)

* * *

There are these moments in life that go in slow motion. It's probably your brain's way of telling you that the current moment you're in is very important and could potentially change your life forever, so it soaks in every detail at a super human level. I've had these moments a couple of times. Once when I was told my grandmother was dead, when I hit that old lady with my car during the driving test, when I saw that gorilla coming toward me to break my arms, when Cat kissed me…

And now.

Everything is slow in this surreal moment. Cat Valentine is standing right in front of me, in the flesh. The girl who was supposed to be kidnapped or dead. But here she is, living and breathing… and staring at me like a deer caught in headlights. She said my name in that Cat way. I can't help but take a shaky step forward, and it feels like I'm pushing through water. Cat watches me cautiously, her eyes darting down to watch my approaching legs before darting to look at my face again. I get the feeling that this moment is just as surreal for her. Three years and Tori Vega is standing right in front of her.

Knowing this, I try to say something. Anything. But every word I can think of just catches in my throat. I have so many questions swimming in my mind, so many emotions. How the fuck are you supposed to react in this situation? I approach a little closer, and her mouth opens with a small burst of visible breath meeting the cold air.

"What are you doing here?" She asks softly. I blink for a moment, and the question suddenly makes me find my voice.

"I… could ask you the same thing." I mutter, stepping even closer until we're about two metres apart. "You're alive." I breathe.

"Yeah… I told you I'd be okay." She states quietly. I stare at her a moment, trying to figure out what she means. But I throw that out the window pretty fast, and I just do what I've been itching to do since I saw her on stage. I bound forward in two giant steps. Cat looks at me in shock just before I wrap my arms around her in a tight hug.

She tenses for a moment, but then she lets out a breath and I feel her arms reach up my back as she lets her body relax into me. Even after three years, her body feels so familiar and like a natural fit for my arms. I rest my chin in the crook of her neck and shut my eyes tight while she snuggles her face into my hair. This is still so surreal, but it's real. It's concrete. It's Cat.

"I… I missed you." She trembles out eventually. I feel a lump in my throat.

"I missed you too. So, s_o _much." I croak. We continue to stand like that for a bit, somehow able to stand the chill of the air thanks to each other's body heat. I try to sort out the questions in my head, but I'm slightly discombobulated by the fact that she still smells the same. Sweet.

"I'm sorry, Tori." She chokes out. I squeeze her tightly.

"It's not your fault." I mumble, but my assurance seems to make her let out a light sob. I finally push back and her arms fall away from me, but I keep my hands firmly rooted on her shoulders as if I lose contact with her, she'll fade away like our breath in the cold air. "How did you escape?" I ask softly.

She stares at me for a moment, and I catch the glint of a tear rolling down her cheek. She's giving me that same pained, conflicted look that she gave me three years ago. I could never forget that look. It was the last one she ever gave me until now. "What?" She asks.

"You know my dad is part of the police… he told me about the person in the car grabbing you. And then the car was sunk. And then your blood by the train tracks… How did you get away?" I interrogate softly. I don't want to freak her out. She must have been through such a traumatizing time…

"I didn't." She reveals. I feel my eyes go wide.

"What?!" I gasp, and immediately pull her a bit closer. "Do you mean you're still kidnapped?"

"No, that's not-"

"Is it this diner? Are they some sort of slave trade of talented people?"

"Tori…"

"Are you suffering from Stockholm Syndrome? You don't have to be owned by anyone anymore, Cat. I can get you out-"

"Tori!" Cat yells. I clamp my mouth shut. "Nobody owns me! Nobody stole me!"

"But… the car… the blood…" I mutter. She pulls away from my grasp, more tears flooding down her face as she looks at me with more sadness, more confliction and… guilt?

"I faked it. I faked it all. It was all staged. Nobody ever kidnapped me. I left on my own free will. I made it look like I was taken and murdered so I didn't have to explain." Cat informs me darkly. I stare at her, trying to comprehend. I'm sorry, but… what?

"Wh… that doesn't make any sense. Why would you do that? Are you lying?" I question. Cat lets out a huff.

"Tori, I need you to listen to me very carefully. Due to circumstances I _don't_ want to discuss, I couldn't be Cat Valentine anymore. I couldn't live the same life anymore, and I couldn't take anyone with me. I'm really sorry I worried you, but you _have _to understand-"

"Understand?" I gawk. "How can I possibly understand? You made everyone who ever cared about you think you were dead. Including your parents. Including _me_." I feel my lip start to tremble. Cat looks down out of guilt.

"I… I know. And it was supposed to stay that way. No one was supposed to find me." She mutters.

"Just tell me why. Tell me why so I can understand." I beg weakly. She looks up at me again.

"I can't." Cat breathes. I turn away from her, running my hands through my hair in frustration. I had fantasized about this kind of reunion. I played with the idea that she would just show up at my door, explaining the owner of the car was her crazy brother and in the lake accident she hit her head and got amnesia and just got her memories back today. Or she'd describe the daring escape she made from some basement. Or maybe she'd tell me she was a spy and now her mission is complete so she can come back. But I didn't expect _this_.

"Cat, please." I groan. "You have _no _idea what you put me through…"

"Was it that bad?" She asks quietly. I look over at her and she's staring at me with such remorse. I could tell her exactly what she put me through. How I spiralled into depression and gave up on life because of her. That I made some of the worst mistakes of my life and put my life in jeopardy because she made me believe she was gone forever. Make her feel awful about her decision to leave… But I can't. Not with the way she's looking at me. No matter what decision she made, she was still my best friend once. I can't help to think that she had her reasons and she feels really bad about what she did, like it was a last resort. I'm hurt, don't get me wrong. Extremely. But she's alive and unharmed, which is a huge blessing in my mind. I can't shut her down now, not when I just got her back.

"Just the regular mourning stuff. I was sad and missed you. Ate a lot of ice cream." I explain vaguely. She bites her lip.

"I'm so sorry." She croaks. I shake my head.

"You know what? Forget it. I'm just… happy you're alive." I sigh. She looks at me with wide eyes.

"Really?" She asks, surprised.

"Yeah. Really." I mumble.

"…Thank you." Cat says softly. We look at each other for a long moment, and then she bites her lip again and she says in the smallest voice ever, "Don't tell anyone."

Seriously?! "Cat, that's pretty unfair of you to ask of me." I state.

"I know." She mumbles. I sigh and take a step closer.

"I'm sorry, but… your family and your friends need to know you're alive. I won't feel right keeping this from them." I say. She looks down, sad. I put a hand on her shoulder. "Where do you live? I can give you a ride home." My car finally got delivered to me a week ago. I live within walking distance of most things, but it was too cold tonight and I didn't want to walk all the way to the diner. She looks up at me, her eyes glistening with tears. She sniffs and wipes them away.

"Thanks, Tori. That'd be nice." She sighs. I nod and we silently walk to my car, parked down the street. I nearly slip on ice a few times because I'm so busy looking at her. We get to my car and for whatever stupid reason, I rush over to open the door like some sort of chauffer. Why? I don't know. But that shy smile she gives me as she slides into the passenger seat makes my feeling like an idiot almost worth it.

Once I get into the driver's seat, I pull onto the street and we sit in silence. I glance over for a moment at a red light and see her looking around in bewilderment. She furrows her brow, and I try to figure out what's going on in her head. Ha, I doubt that'll be any easier even three years later. I suck in a breath as the light turns green. "Something wrong?" I ask.

"What? No, I was just wondering if this was Trina's car…" Cat trails off. I pause for a moment. That's what's going through her head right now?

"Uh, yeah. She got a new car for her birthweek two years ago, so I got her hand-me-down. It's a good car… As long as you don't think about all the self-care she did in here." I cringe. I see Cat cringe out of the corner of my eye, too.

"So… Trina hasn't changed?" She asks.

"Not in the slightest. Still as obnoxious as ever. But I still love her." I sigh. She looks over at me with a bit of a sad smile.

"And our friends?"

I press my lips together, pausing a moment before answering. "They're good. They're all doing really well." I answer.

"Yeah! I heard… I mean… They're all Google-able now, so I guess I know what they're doing with their lives… I screamed when I heard Andre's songs on the radio for the first time. But I mean… are they happy?" Cat questions softly. I guess it's normal she'd be curious.

"I think so. Last time I saw all of them, they seemed really happy." I answer.

"That's good. I'm glad." She breathes, as if a lot of her worries were just washed away. Another pause, and then, "…Are you happy?"

The question winds me. What a loaded question. _Am_ I happy? "Um… Sure, I guess." I say hesitantly. I see her look over.

"You guess?" She asks quietly.

"Well… yeah, I don't know…" I mutter. "Hey, Cat, I have no idea where I'm going. I've been driving around the block hoping you'd tell me where to go." I say quickly, trying to change the subject.

"Oh! Right. Go straight down here for three intersections and then turn right." She instructs. I nod and start to do as she says. "Why aren't you sure if you're happy or not?"

Damnit. The personal, intimate questions continue. "I wouldn't say I'm unhappy now… just, things haven't gone as smoothly as I would've hoped and… the future is unsure and confusing." I shrug. She continues to look at me as I make my right turn. "Now where?"

"Um, keep going straight for a bit… I'm sorry not everything has worked out for you, Tori." Cat sighs. I glance over at her again. She looks so sad. I give her a small smile before turning my eyes back to the road.

"Hey, in the grand scheme of things, I'm pretty blessed. I really can't complain, you know?" I state. "Are you happy?" I throw the question back.

"Yes." She says in an adamant voice. Well, that was definite.

"Oh, good. Glad you were able to make a life for yourself here." I say. She's silent for a moment, but then I hear her say something in such a small voice I just barely caught it.

"And my parents?"

I look at her again. Her eyes search mine with worry. "They're doing pretty well. They're still coping with your disappearance, but… I guess now they won't have to worry about that anymore." I claim. She immediately looks down at her lap.

"Right…" She mumbles. "Take the on-ramp up here. Third exit."

"Okay." I agree. She's silent for the rest of the car ride other than to give me a few more directions. I find myself pulled up in front of a very, _very _fancy looking apartment building… wait, these are condominiums. Really nice condominiums. On the lake. How much does that diner pay and how can I get in on it? "I guess this is your stop…"

She's silent and unmoving, hugging her purse close. I stare at her a moment, wondering if she heard me. She's often been off in her little world; maybe twenty-year-old Cat is no different.

"Cat…" I try again.

"Tori…" She says back. Cat looks up at me with tears in her eyes. She looks scared. "I… I have to ask you one more time to keep this a secret from everyone. My parents, our friends, the police – anyone."

I let out a small sigh. "I told you I can't keep something like this-"

"I know. I know, and it's stupid and wrong of me to expect you to do so. But I have to take **one **last chance to beg, plead for you to understand that I had my reasons and I can't dig up the past now. I'll lose everything I've built up, Tori! Please." She begs. I give her a hard stare, trying to find the words. She closes her eyes tightly, a tear running down her cheek. I fight the urge to wipe it away. "If you say you're still going to go through with telling everyone, I can't stop you. But I just need to ask… Please, Tori. Please." She trembles. I feel my mouth go dry.

"Cat… I'm sorry, but you left people behind that miss you every day. They have every right to know and I have no right to keep it from them. Plus, your case has been unsolved for three years. I could get arrested for harbouring information from the police, from my own _father_." I argue. Cat's eyes snap open to give me an intense, fearful look.

"And I'll be arrested for fabricating evidence! I knew the risks, Tori. But I did them anyway. What does that tell you?" She exasperates weakly. I give her a sad look. It's true. She'll probably get arrested for this. Cat in jail? I can't even imagine… She lets out a sigh and reaches over to take my hands in hers. Her hands are surprisingly warm for how cold it is out. "But I get it. I get where you're coming from… and you're right. It's… time that I own up for my mistakes."

I feel myself go pale. I feel so conflicted right now. "I'm sorry, Cat." I mutter. She shakes her head gently.

"Thanks for the ride. It was a refreshing change from the cabs around here." Cat says softly. She lets go of my hands and pops the door open.

"You're not going to run away again, are you?" I blurt out. Subtlety is not one of my strong suits. She looks over, giving me a surprised look before smiling.

"I'm done running. I swear." She assures me. I nod and she steps out of the car.

"Wait! One more thing." I request. She bends over to stick her head back in the door, looking at me expectantly. "What's your unit number?" I ask.

"Seven-twenty-two." She answers. "Goodnight, Tori."

"Goodnight, Cat. And hey,"

"Yeah?" She asks. I feel my mouth dry up again, but I want to express my feelings.

"When you asked if I'm happy… I am happy. I'm happy to see you again." I state. A big smile spreads across her face – probably the biggest I've seen since tickling her on my couch three years ago.

"I'm happy to see you again, too. Really happy. I mean it." Cat breathes. I can't help but think she's lying a bit. I mean, sure I'm a blast from the past and we used to be close friends, but I'm also the reason that the fake life she built is going to end.

She closes the door and I watch her longingly as she heads into the building, and I don't stop until she's long out of sight.

* * *

I sped back to my apartment and threw open my laptop as soon as I got in. I wanted to talk to someone else close to Cat before I contacted the police. And… yes! He's on!

I send a video chat request to Andre and he picks up almost immediately. "Tori? Isn't it almost 1AM there?" He asks. Right, sometimes I forget about the three hour time difference.

"Yeah, but this is important." I state.

"Okay, lay it on me." He nods.

"Remember how I said I thought I saw Cat?" I ask. He groans, leaning back in his chair.

"Aw, Tori, not this again…"

"No! Listen to me! I'm being really serious, and you have to believe me." I say slowly. He raises an eyebrow and leans forward.

"Alright. I'm all ears." He sighs.

"So I was at this diner today where they sing to you, and there was this waitress with red hair, and-" And I stop short, my mouth hanging open with the unfinished sentence. Cat's sad expression appears in my head. I can't help but remember how much I hated that sad expression, and how much I wanted to turn it into a smile… If I turned her over to the police, I won't be doing her a favour. How long will she be in jail for? Another three years? More? I don't think I could take that after finally seeing her again. Plus, she wouldn't come out of an institution like that as the same person. At least here, she's happy and free. Yes, I know I shouldn't be withholding this information from anyone – especially since I owe Cat no favours. She pulled a Houdini and hurt me as well, and she still refuses to give me an explanation. I should be happy to end her faux persona. But… I can't help but feel a bit of loyalty to the Cat I once knew – the innocent Cat who wouldn't hurt a fly and would comfort me just by being in my presence. Maybe that Cat is still there and… I can't help but pass up the opportunity to see if she still is, and also get some answers. Because, god damnit, I still care about that girl a lot.

"Uh, Tori?" Andre questions, tilting his head at my blank expression. I shake it off.

"And it wasn't her. And I realized I can't keep living like this – that I need to move on. And I think I'm finally ready to do that, and put Cat at rest." I state. Andre gives a small smile.

"Well, that's great, Tor. I'm happy for you." He says. "You called me at 1AM to tell me that?"

"It was a very important realization." I state. He laughs and shakes his head.

"I guess you're right. Is that all?" He asks.

"Yep, that's the whole kit and caboodle." I smile.

"Alright then. Sweet dreams."

"Have a good night, Andre!" I express before closing the laptop. I immediately grab my new jacket, rush out the door (I almost forgot to lock it), and I head down to the parking garage. It's like my body is in full control right now – all reason is gone. I just know I have to see her again.

I try to recall my way back, and eventually I reach her building again. I park out front in a guest spot, and I head in the door between the glass dividers and look at the various intercoms to each unit. Beside 722 is the last name "Miller". Well, that's odd. I thought Cat's alias' surname was Robins.

Luckily for me, I don't have to chance pressing the button, because some guy who looks high-class comes out the door. What is he doing out at 1:30 in the morning? I don't really care. He's my ticket in.

"Oh, thank you!" I breathe as he steps in, causing him to pause with the door open. "I lost my key for the lobby and nobody's home so I was locked out." I start to push past him.

He looks me up and down for a moment, suspiciously. Okay, I don't look _that _grubby. Apparently he doesn't care that much, though, because he shrugs and lets me by. "Sure, sure…" He grumbles. Yeah, acting classes at Hollywood Arts pay off sometimes.

I head to the seventh floor through the elevator, and I can't help but ogle at how ritzy this place is. Seriously, I _need _a job at that diner!

I stand in front of Unit #722 and take a deep breath. I knock on the door, hoping someone named Miller won't answer instead. I'm relieved when Cat almost immediately throws open the door. She looks at me, surprised.

"Tori?" She questions. I notice that she's changed out of her waitress outfit, but not into pajamas. She's in jeans and a nice black yoga jacket – not exactly going to bed clothes.

"Cat!" I exclaim. I also notice she's made up. I give her a suspicious look. "…Were you going somewhere?"

"I was waiting for the police to knock on my door, honestly." She whispers, biting her lip. "But you're not the police."

I break into a smile. "Yeah, and you don't have to worry about police knocking on your door anytime soon." I state. Her eyes widen.

"What do you mean?" She asks cautiously.

"I mean… I've decided to keep your secret." I proclaim. Her eyes go even wider, if possible.

"What? But… But why?"

"Because… Maybe I'm crazy enough to believe that if Cat Valentine left all who loved her behind, she must have had a pretty damn good reason." I sigh. Her eyebrows rise and she frowns slightly.

"Do you mean it? You're not going to tell anyone?" She asks quietly, her voice almost a whimper.

"Cat… I just got you back." I mutter. She pauses for a moment, and then her arms are thrown around me in a very tight hug. I stumble a bit at the impact, and my arms wrap around her waist to return the hug. Her small arms tighten around my neck.

"Thank you." Her voice is muffled against my shoulder. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

"I have a bit of an idea." I gasp out. She has me in a choke-hold.

"Sorry!" She says, letting me go and stepping back. I move my neck from side to side, enjoying the freedom yet missing her hold at the same time. "Seriously though. How can I ever repay you?" Cat asks.

"Well, I have one condition…" I start. She nods at me, looking serious. "…We start to hang out, rekindle our friendship and such. Get to know each other all over again."

"I'd like that." Cat grins. I smile widely at her back. She looks serious again and holds up her index finger. "Counter-condition." She states.

"Which is…" I question. She lets out a breath.

"Under no circumstance are you to ask me about why I left, or ask for details about my disappearance." Cat declares seriously. I stare at her for a moment. I run a hand through my hair as I think. Yes, she does owe me an explanation. But at the same time, I'm not in much of a position to turn down anything she wants. I want to have her back in my life, and if this is how I can have that happen… then so be it. I'll respect her privacy.

Besides, if I wait it out, I'm sure I'll find out eventually.

"Okay, Cat. You win. I won't ask." I agree solemnly. She smiles again and wraps me up in another hug. Yep, she's just as huggy as ever. Nothing wrong with that… I like the way she feels.

Not that I still have a crush on her, or anything. I'm just very grateful she's alive. What?

"By the way, do I call you Stacy now, or what?" I ask. She pulls back but keeps her hands on my shoulders. She thinks for a moment.

"Well, when we're in public around people I know, like at the diner or whatever… I have to ask you to call me Stacy. But when we're alone and it's just you and me…" She pauses a moment, biting her lip before moving in closer so I can feel her breath against my cheek. Her eyes look at me almost pleadingly. "Call me Cat. I don't want you knowing me as anybody other than Cat. Please, Tori. Call me Cat." She breathes. I feel my face flush.

"Okay… Cat." I say quietly. Her mouth breaks into a smile and she quickly leaves a peck on my cheek. Now I'm really flushing. "Why the name Stacy, anyway?" I ask, hoping it's not too out-of-bounds. She shrugs.

"Mostly because of the song. _Stacy's mom has got it going on_!" She sings softly. I laugh and shake my head. Of course she would. How… Cat of her. She grins before looking into her condo. She turns back with a small smile. "We'll talk more later, okay? I'm exhausted."

"Yeah, same." I agree, fighting back a yawn. And she's hugging me again. Yes.

"Thank you again." She mutters. Against my will, my hand gently runs through her hair. In response she snuggles into the hug more, and I really hope she can't feel my heart beat picking up. Stop it, heart. We're both two different people, now.

Are we?

"Have a good night, Cat." I breathe when she finally releases me. It's nice to see a grin on her face after a hug instead of that pained look from three years ago, or the one in the alleyway.

"We'll see each other again soon, okay?" Cat states, then she touches me arm gently, lowering her voice. "I promise."

I mean, maybe she's not the most trustworthy person to me right now. She is keeping a huge secret from me, and she faked her death without telling anyone. But with that look she gives me as she closes the door of her unit, I believe her promise.

* * *

**January 29****th****, 2017**

I finally wake up around 11AM. Apparently late, emotional nights make me sleep in like I did when I was seventeen on Saturdays. I let out a big yawn, but I don't get up quite yet. I take a moment to replay last night's events. So…

Cat's back.

That happened.

Not only is Cat back, but she's actually the reason she disappeared, and I'm a little sketchy on the details because she won't tell me, but that's okay because we're going to be friends again while I harbour information on a three year old case!

Oh boy.

I let out a groan as I roll out of my warm bed to meet the icy cold air. This place doesn't have the greatest insulation, so mornings are chilly. And afternoons. And evenings…

I throw some Poptarts in the toaster and head over to my phone plugged in the wall. One message from Nicky.

_How you doing, chicka? Feeling any better?_ It reads. I turn my phone over to reply.

_Yeah, loads. I think. I don't know. _I answer. Well, I don't know if I'm okay. Is any of this okay?

It doesn't take long for me to get a reply. I could picture her impatiently tapping a pencil on a table all morning waiting for me to answer her. _Well don't you sound sure of yourself. Take another day to relax, but hurry and feel better soon! Vik is itching to record, and he gets grumpy when he's itchy._

I let out a short laugh at her text. _Tell him to take some Benadryl and I'll be back with my vocal chords in full working form soon_. My text assures her. I put down my phone but it buzzes soon after. I pick it up expecting a reply from Nicky, but it's not. It's from an unknown number. I open the message…

_Hi, is this Tori's number?_ It asks. Well, that's not creepy.

_Yes… who is this?_ I reply.

_Oh thank god! You still have the same number! It's Cat :)_ She replies. She remembered my number after all these years? That's kind of cute.

_Good morning, Cat! How are you?_ I ask in a general conversation-starter attempt.

_Good! I'm actually working now. I'm on break, so I thought I'd try and text you… I get off at 2PM, if you want to meet for a late lunch. I can get you a discount. _Cat sends. I smile lightly at her message.

_Discount? Count me in! _I send back.

_Yay! Kk, I have to get back to work. See you later, Tori! I told you I promised!_

And you delivered, Cat. You delivered.

* * *

I can't believe how many butterflies I have walking into the diner at 2PM. This isn't a date. It's just two, long lost friends catching up. I mean, I guess that justifies a bit of butterflies…

I look around and I don't see her anywhere. Another waitress comes up to me.

"Hi, welcome to The Larksong Diner! Lunch menu for one?" She asks. I again crane my neck to look around.

"Actually, I'm here to meet someone… one of your staff members." I explain. The waitress looks puzzled for a moment.

"One of our… Oh! You must be Tori! Yeah, Stace hasn't stopped talking about how excited she is to meet up with you. She's just in kitchen, but she'll be out soon. Sit anywhere that's free." The waitress smiles. I get the feeling that Cat is well liked around here. Or, at least Stacy is.

"Thanks." I say, heading to a nearby empty booth. I lightly drum on the table while I wait.

"Can I take your order?" I hear from behind me. I start to turn.

"Oh not yet I'm waiting… oh, hey!" I exclaim when I see a grinning Cat, changed out of her waitress outfit, was the source of the question. I quickly stand up and open my arms before I know it, and she quickly jumps into my arms with an ecstatic hug. I just really wanted to hug her again.

We pull apart and she's smiling at me. "I'm off the clock so I can't serve you… but may I join you?" She asks.

"That's why I'm here." I grin. Her smile widens and we slide into the booth on opposite sides. This is the first time I've seen her in light other than dim restaurant lighting, under a spotlight, in a dark alley or in a dim condo hallway. She looks almost exactly the same, except her skin tone is closer to when I first met her. I guess living here made her sun-kissed look suffer a bit. "So, what's up, Stacy?" I wink. She gives me a confused look for a minute, but then she smirks.

"I'm going to have to get used to you calling me that." She giggles.

"Don't worry, I'll be calling you by your 'pet name' more often than not." I assure her.

"Ooh, clever word choice." She laughs. I'm actually surprised she got the joke. Maybe three years did well for her intelligence. I never thought Cat was stupid, but she could be… slow at times. A waiter comes by.

"Hey, Stacy! This your friend?" He asks, dropping menus in front of us.

"Yep, meet Tori. Tori, this is Michael." Cat explains.

"Pleasure to meet you." Michael nods.

"Like-wise." I smile.

"I'll let you two look over the menu." He says, and he starts to head off.

"Wait! I have a song request." Cat grins.

"Yes, and what might that be?" Michael asks, looking suspicious. Cat leans forward on her elbows.

"You know the one… My favourite song that you sing?" She giggles. Michael lets out a long sigh.

"Yes but songs like that aren't really supposed to be sung out in the dining area…" He mumbles.

"Pleeease? I want Tori to hear how talented you are." Cat pouts. Michael lets out a huff and Cat breaks into a smile, knowing she won. Michael looks around cautiously for a moment before leaning in close and starting to sing in a very low voice:

"_To the window_

_To the wall_

_To the sweat drops down my balls_

_To all these bitches crawl_

_To all skeet skeet motherfucker, to all skeet skeet god damn_

_To all skeet skeet motherfucker, to all skeet skeet god damn_"

He straightens up and looks around frantically. "You heard nothing." He mutters before strutting off.

"Thanks, Michael!" Cat calls after him. She looks over at me just in time to catch me bursting into fits of laughter. She joins in with my laughter and before I know it, I'm wiping away a tear.

"That was amazing." I chuckle.

"Isn't he just so talented?" She smirks.

"Totally." I smile. "I saw your performance last night… it was incredible."

"You saw that?" Cat blushes.

"Yeah, it's how I knew it was you for sure… Your voice. I could never forget your voice." I explain. Cat blushes a deeper red.

"Thank you… And I've been lucky enough to be able to still hear your gorgeous voice over the years thanks to Splashface." Cat states. I feel my face creep in with a blush.

"You… you watch my videos?" I gasp.

"Yeah! All the time. I was so happy when I stumbled across your videos and vlogs… it was a way I still got to see you." Cat shifts shyly. For a moment, I feel a pang of bitterness. Why did she have a medium in which she could see me, but I was left totally in the dark with her?

"Wait, if you watch my videos, why were you so surprised to see me here? I made a vlog when I first got here explaining to my viewers where I moved and what was happening." I question. Cat shifts again.

"Oh, did you? Sorry, I must've missed it. I can't seem to watch your videos in January." She sighs. I raise my eyebrow.

"Why not?" I ask. Cat quickly looks down at her menu.

"I _really _have to recommend our chicken ceasar wraps. We use our own homemade dressing…" She tries to change the subject.

"Stacy." I huff. She ignores me.

"Or our mozzarella sticks are golden brown and not too salty like other establishments…" She continues. I lean forward and lower my voice.

"Cat…"

She looks up at me with a pained expression, holding her breath. I give her a serious look and she releases the breath. "Okay, okay… I found that… January can be tough since that's when I… lost you, in a sense. It was just too painful watching your videos and knowing I'd never be able to talk to you again." She mutters. I feel my heart melt a bit.

"Oh." I say plainly. Honestly, I felt a weird satisfaction knowing that she missed me that much. At the same time, I wish she hadn't have been so sad about it. "Well, I ruined that plan, huh? You're talking to me now."

"Yeah, I am." She smiles at me, all forms of sadness seeming to dissipate. Michael comes back over at this point.

"Okay, is everyone ready to order in a way that _won't _put my job in jeopardy?" He asks with a sarcastic smile.

"Yes, I'll have a chicken ceasar wrap." I state. Cat grins.

"The same." She says. "And a plate of mozza sticks for sharing."

"Alrighty." Michael notes, jotting down our orders. "Any drinks?"

"Just a water." I say. Cat begins to answer.

"Str-"

"Strawberry milkshake, I got it." Michael cuts her off with a wink. "I'll be back with your orders soon."

He leaves and I give Cat a smile, and she smiles back. "So, mind telling me why you're in Toronto? Or do I have to watch the video?" Cat asks.

"Well… I got a record deal here." I state. Cat lets out a gasp.

"Oh my god! No way! That's so exciting!" She exclaims.

"Don't get too excited." I sigh. Her face falls.

"Why?"

"Because they're not exactly… prominent in the music industry. It'll probably be a long time before anything comes out of it." I explain.

"But that doesn't make sense. Have people heard your voice? The top record companies should be fighting over you." She frowns.

"Yeah, well." I shrug. "It's fine. I really like the people I'm working with. They've become good friends and I don't mind having a bit of a fresh start here."

"Well, that's good." Cat's smile returns. "How do you like Canada so far?"

"It's cold." I grumble. Cat lets out a laugh.

"Yes, but other than that." She giggles.

"I like it, but it's… weird at times. I knew there'd be differences but I didn't expect in what ways it'd be different." I ponder.

"Did you expect igloos? I expected igloos." Cat jokes.

"Right? Where are the igloos?" I laugh. "But really, I think the biggest thing that has baffled my mind is the milk."

"The bagged milk?" Cat smirks.

"Yes! That's weird! Isn't it weird?" I huff.

"You get used to it." Cat shrugs.

"How? I was carrying some home the other day and I literally felt like I was carrying a cow's udder." I grimace.

"What an image." Cat chuckles. "They're not that bad."

"And then I dropped one and it splattered everywhere." I grumble darkly.

"Ooh." She gives me a pitying look. "Good thing they sell them in cartons, too."

"Yes, thank god." I sigh. "But other than that, it's been a good experience. I'm looking forward to discovering more."

"Like poutine." She states. I gape at her.

"You just swore at me in French, didn't you?" I accuse. She starts laughing hysterically.

"No! I promise. It sounds gross, but it's a delicious Canadian dish." Cat giggles. "Aw, we actually have some on the menu. I regret recommending the wraps now. Maybe next time."

"Yeah. Maybe." Probably not.

"Hey! That's what we can do. I'll start introducing you to more Canadian things, like how I was introduced to them. It'll be fun!" Cat suggests. I grin at her. I mean, Vik and Nicky offered the same thing, but I think I'll enjoy the quality time with Cat.

"I'd like that." I say. "Oh, question. Were you in Yonge and Dundas Square on Friday?" I ask. Cat thinks for a moment.

"Friday? …Yeah, I believe I was. I was returning one of my bags from Guess." Cat explains. Seriously, how much money does she make?! "Why?"

"I thought I saw you. Well, your hair. I guess it must've been you, after all." I explain.

"Wow, I guess it must've, huh? Weird." Cat revels. "So you stalked me until you cornered me in the alleyway behind this place?" She smirks.

"What? No! I tried to find you but you disappeared so fast. I nearly got hit by a car! Twice!" I state.

"Wait, that was _you_?" She gasps. "I saw a bit of commotion in the intersection and the screeching of car tires but I couldn't stop to look because I was in a hurry. I can't believe you were so close."

"Yes. To you and to death." I groan.

"I'm glad you're alright." She smiles, touching my hand gently. Goosebumps. "I'm sorry my red hair caused you so much trouble. That's one thing I couldn't bear to change." Cat sigh, taking a strand in her fingers and looking at it.

"I'm glad you didn't. I love your hair like that, even if it almost gets me hit by cars." I joke. Cat smiles and blushes to match her hair. "So you changed everything else? Your name… I mean, sorry. I don't know what's in the bounds of our agreement."

"Thank you for being sensitive to it." Cat says with a small smile. "You can ask anything about my life here. That's fine. And yes, I changed my name… As well as any other information about me. I'm a whole new identity." She explains.

"Oh. But you're still, you know… you, right?" I ask. Her smile falters a bit.

"Yeah. Of course." She sighs. I give her a questioning look, but I decide to drop it. I don't want to push her too far.

"That's good." I smile. "And you like it here?"

"Oh definitely. I really like Toronto. It has character." She explains.

"I'll give you that." I nod. "Oh, and who's Miller?"

"Huh?" Cat raises her eyebrows in surprise.

"When I went to your condo last night, the name next to your unit number was Miller. I thought your last name here was Robins." I question. Cat lets out a breath.

"Oh, right. I don't really own the unit. It belongs to Barry Miller." She explains.

"And who's Barry Miller?" I ask.

Cat bites her lip as she raises her left hand in front of me, showing off the large sparkling rock on her finger that I can't believe I didn't notice before.

"He's my fiancé."

* * *

**Author's Notes: I just did that thing where I leave you hanging again. Honestly, this was supposed to be part of the next chapter, but the next chapter is 14, 000 words, sooo... This seemed like the best place to break it up. Sorry! It'll be the last cliffhanger for a while. **

**Let's talk about what happened in this chapter... Cat faked her death and escaped her life for an unknown reason... what could this mean?! I'd love to hear theories. Also, Cat's engaged? "But waitwhathuh," You may say, "This is supposed to be a Cori fic! Right?" You are totally right! But why make it easy when I can make it COMPLICATED AND DRAMATIC? So I guess you'll have to stick around and read to see how this all works out. And review if you want more, or are liking it so far, or want to point anything out, or just want to say hi... **

**Fun Fact: I actually did choose the name Stacy because of the song, but then I looked up the name and it means "resurrection", which works crazily well since Cat is basically back from the dead. **


	4. Where We Left Off

**Disclaimer: Oh hey there. Many people out there believe that they will never own Victorious. Well, let me be the first to tell you that it's true. You can't. You won't own it, I won't own it... Unless you're Dan Schneider reading this right now in which case... PSA invalid. **

* * *

"He's my fiancé."

Did she just say he's her fiancé? Sorry, I couldn't really hear over the sound of my _heart plummeting through the floor_.

Yes, this news upsets me. Why? Maybe I'm disappointed because I was left out of such a big decision in her life. Perhaps not knowing this strange "Barry Miller" who she lives with makes me feel uneasy. And yeah, okay, maybe it's because I'm jealous. There! I said it! Maybe I am! But for whatever reason it is, I don't feel like psychoanalyzing it right now. I'm way to busy just wallowing in self-pity and not thinking about why I feel that way.

Despite this, I somehow manage to give her a big smile and wave my arms toward her enthusiastically. "What?! You're engaged?! Oh my god, congratulations! That's amazing!" I exclaim. Cat smiles at my reaction, lowering her hand.

"Thank you." She chuckles, blushing.

"So, who is this guy? Tell me about him. How did you meet? When's the wedding? Is he cute?" I interrogate.

"Slow down." Cat giggles. "I met him two years ago. You see… I didn't exactly… plan my stay here very well. Being a blank slate doesn't pay much." She frowns. Well, at least I know she was poor at one point. "So I tried to open an account at TD… it was the only bank I had heard of before so I went there. But it's hard to open an account when you don't exist. That's when Barry walked in. I was arguing with some bank associate and he stepped in. Turns out, he's pretty high up in the company. Family connections." She explains. Oh, so he's the one with all the money.

"Wait, he's high up in a bank? How old is this guy?" I question.

"Twenty-nine." She admits with a blush. I gape at her. "I know, I know. But we get along great, I swear. It's not really that big of an age gap, if you think about it." She states. "Anyway, he was basically my hero. He didn't even ask me any questions about my credibility. He just told the person to open an account for me and then he took me out for coffee. We… clicked. He helped me with a lot of things, like getting identification and what Canadians call a Social Insurance Number so that I can work."

"Is that legal?" I ask. She shrugs.

"He didn't even bat an eye. All he asked in return was a date… so I gave him one. And another. And another. Almost a year ago he proposed and… here we are." Cat states. Damn… I admit it's kind of a romantic story, although I still feel iffy about this guy. Maybe I'm biased but, hey… it's okay to be protective of a friend I once thought was murdered, right? "The wedding date is August 16th… And yes, he's pretty cute." She grins.

"Wow, are you talking about your fiancé?" Michael gasps, appearing with our food and drinks. He places down the plates, looking at me. "How'd you pry that information out of her? Stacy never talks about her private life. She's a complete mystery." He states. Cat rolls her eyes at him.

"Well… I asked." I explain.

"Damn, never worked for me before. Hey, you're like, long-time friends of Stace's, aren't you? What's the dirty deets on this girl?" Michael winks.

"Don't you have tables to wait? Or, I don't know… Lil Jon songs to sing?" Cat jeers.

"I'm gone. Enjoy your food." Michael says quickly before shuffling off. Cat rolls her eyes again and shakes her head. So, Cat's a mystery to people here as well. I watch as she takes a bite of a mozzarella stick.

"So, August 16th, huh? Have you sent out invitations yet? Can I be on the guest list?" I ask. Her eyes brighten up and she quickly swallows her bite of mozzarella stick.

"Oh, Tori! Yes! Of course you can come! It makes me so happy to think that you'll be there! You have no idea!" She beams. Aw. That kind of warms my heart a bit.

"I'd love to be in attendance." I say, taking my own mozzarella stick. Cat leans over to take a sip of her milkshake.

"Good. I'll let Barry know." She says. I wonder for a moment if she's ever told him about me. "But yeah, that's my love story. What's yours? Anyone catch Tori Vega's eye?" Cat smirks. I cringe a bit. Yes, I had some… interactions, but I wouldn't call any of them love stories. More like… drunken flings. But I wasn't about to admit that to her.

"Meh. I've had some short relationships. Nothing really worth mentioning. None of them worked out. I'm now single." I explain.

"And ready to mingle?" She raises an eyebrow. I shrug.

"I don't really have much interest in looking for a relationship at the moment. I want to focus on my music career right now. And if sparks fly at some point with me and someone, hey, that's cool. But I won't go actively searching for it." I state. She nods slowly.

"Yeah, I guess that's a good idea. But did you ever fall in love with anyone you were with?" She asks. Ha! I barely remember any of their names, let alone being in love with them.

"Nope. Never been in love. You?" I ask back. I take a moment to mentally kick myself. Stupid question.

Cat leans back into the booth chair a bit, a far off look in her eye. "I've only ever been in love with one person in all my life, Tori." Cat sighs.

"Right. Your fiancé. Duh." I chuckle. She gives a small smile before she continues at her food. "Well, I'm really happy for you." I say before biting into my ceasar wrap. And I am. I'm happy she's happy.

"Thanks, Tori." She smiles.

"I want to meet this guy, though. See if he gets the Tori Vega stamp of approval." I smirk. "You know, before you're stuck with him forever."

"Oh, I'm just so lucky you came back into my life just in time to fully analyze my future husband." Cat giggles. "He's pretty busy this week. Maybe sometime in February. Ooh, your birthday is coming up in a few weeks, right? Maybe I'll convince him to take you out to a fancy dinner for it." She suggests. Yes, spending time with you and your loving fiancé is _exactly _how I want to spend my 21st birthday.

"Sure, that'd be great." I smile. Sigh. She's still almost impossible to say no to. It's as if turning her down would crush every little hope and dream she has in the world.

"Excellent." Cat grins, putting extra emphasis on the T at the end. I reach for another mozzarella stick only to see the plate between us empty. Cat pauses with her mozzarella stick, almost about to take a bite. She holds it out to me and I smile, reaching over to rip it in half. She giggles as we enjoy our halves. "So, what do you want to do after this?" Cat asks.

"Oh, uh, I don't know. I wasn't sure if we were just having lunch or what." I say. Cat raises an eyebrow.

"So, you want to call it a day after this?" She pouts.

"No, no! Not at all. I'd love to keep spending time with you." I state. The smile returns to Cat's face.

"Good, because I have a bit of an idea." Cat smirks.

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" I ask. Cat continues to smirk as she takes a sip of her milkshake, saying nothing. Her eyebrows rise teasingly. Good. More secrets. "Come on. Now you got me all curious." I pout, trying to match her powerful pouting technique. She swallows her milkshake and grins at me, still saying nothing. "A little hint?"

"Let's just say it'll be… nostalgic for us. It's something I haven't done for a long time because it didn't feel right without you there." Cat winks.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I scoff.

"I thought that was my saying." She laughs.

"Is it still?" I grin. She smirks, shaking her head. "Oh how times have changed." I joke.

"Shush. Now eat your wrap and wait patiently for where I'm going to take you." Cat orders.

"Yes, ma'am." I salute, making her giggle again. We finish off our food and we each pay for our meals (using an employee discount thanks to Cat), and Cat leaves Michael a large tip.

"I think he deserved that after what I made him sing." Cat whispers as we start to walk out.

"Stacy! You heading out?" The plump woman I remember as Beverly from the other day calls out before we leave. Cat turns to her as the woman walks over.

"Yeah, Bev. I'll see you Tuesday?" Cat says.

"I hope so. Rachael is still sick so I'll need you to cover her performance again." Bev states, making Cat nod. Bev looks over at me. "Hey I recognize you…"

"Oh, Bev, this is Tori. She's an old, very good friend of mine. Tori, this is Bev. She owns the place." Cat introduces.

"Nice to meet you officially. You have a wonderful diner here." I smile. She narrows her eyes at me and I start to feel a bit uncomfortable. Is she mean? She seemed nice the other day. I hope this isn't what Cat has to deal with at work…

"Now I remember you." Bev states. Cat raises an eyebrow, looking between us. "Yeah, you were here a few days ago with some friends… and then you were here last night. You literally crawled out the door while Stacy was singing." She announces. Cat's eyes widen as she looks at me. I feel myself flush.

"I… uh… well, I…" I stutter.

"I thought you were trying a dine-and-dash, but when I checked your table you overpaid for your meal." Bev laughs, brightening up considerably. She claps me lightly on the shoulder. "You can leave the diner in any way you like if you do that. You're more than welcome here. Tori, is it? Any friend of Stacy's is a friend of mine. She's a peach." Bev chuckles, pinching an embarrassed Cat on the cheek.

"Th-thanks, ma'am." I breathe out a sigh of relief.

"Call me Bev." She winks before walking off. Cat giggles, grabbing onto my arm and pulling me out of the door.

"So… you crawled out during my performance? I thought you said you liked it." Cat pouts, still holding onto my arm as she leads me down the street.

"I did like it! I liked it a lot… But I was worried you'd see me and… that would've been interesting." I sigh.

"Yeah, yeah that would've. I probably wouldn't have been able to finish the song I'd be so shocked. And then I'd be fired…" She ponders.

"See? So I did you a favour by waiting to sneak attack you in the back alley." I state.

"Who knew?" Cat giggles, hugging my arm and leaning into me. The action makes some heat sneak up into my cheeks which is shocking because, surprise, it's cold out again today.

"Okay, so where are you taking me?" I ask, nudging her slightly.

"Still a surprise!" Cat exclaims. I let out a huff and she giggles, hugging my arm tighter. "This has been really nice, by the way…"

"Yeah, it has been." I agree.

"But really. I was so excited to meet up with you today but also so nervous. I didn't want it to be awkward or anything. I mean, there are so many reasons it could've been awkward. It's been three years, after all… But it hasn't been awkward. At least, not for me. It was like… like we've never been apart." Cat sighs. I feel a smile tug at my lips.

"I've heard that if you're really close to someone, no matter the distance or how long you're away from each other, you can always start right where you left off." I say. And that's a nice thought… but there's no way we're starting where we left off. It's true; we're still connecting very well and talking as if her disappearance was just a bad dream. But it wasn't bad dream. Things have happened. Not only is she engaged, but she refuses to tell me about her past which will always create some tension, and then there's the subject of the kiss that neither of us seem to want to bring up. No matter what, this friendship will probably involve rehashing the past at some point. There's no way we can ignore it forever. I wonder if Cat knows that.

"I guess it's true, then." Cat smiles, looking up at me. "That's… kind of related to where we're going. Like I said, it would've felt weird to do this without you. We used to do his all the time."

"Will you just tell me already?" I groan.

"Nope." Cat smirks.

"Then can you at least tell me how far it is? I'm still not used to the cold here." I shiver.

"Why do you think I'm holding you so close?" Cat whispers.

"Because you wanted to." Way to speak your mind, Tori.

"Well, that too." Cat smirks. "It's just around the corner now. Think of the beach in the meantime."

The beach. Right. Bright sunshine… waves crashing against the shore… warm sand under my feet… Cat in a bikini… Whoa, back up.

"And here we are." Cat states and I'm jolted out of my fantasy. I look at the shop we're standing in front of on the street. There's a large window with energetic puppies jumping at the glass and barking. Aww, they're adorable.

"Aww, this was a great idea, Cat." I grin. She smiles at me.

"Remember when you said you weren't sure if you were happy? …When we were in high school and I was sad, you would always take me to a pet store. You used to say it was because you were in the mood to go, but I knew you were taking me just to see me smile… so I want to return the favour. I want to see you happy." Cat explains. Canadian winter can't beat the warmth I feel in my heart right now.

"Thank you." I smile, unable to express my gratitude in any other way than two simple words of appreciation. She grins excitedly, and just as she did when she was in high school, she giddily pulls me into the pet store. The store is filled with that familiar smell of stale pet food and hamster fodder. Despite the unpleasant smell, Cat was right. It is nostalgic. I guess I haven't been in a pet store for a long time either.

She looks over to the pen by the window with the widest, most infectious smile I've seen. She practically skips over and the puppies flood to her, all clambering over each other for her attention. And why wouldn't they? "Aw, Tori look! Aren't they cute? Come here!" Cat requests cheerfully. She picks up a puppy as I come over and plops the energetic ball of fluff into my arms. It seems to be some sort of Yorkshire Terrier pup, and it's adorable.

"Hey buddy. Hi. Aren't you cute?" I say to it in a baby voice. I dip my head near it and sputter when it licks my face. "Pbblth, ugh puppy breath." I laugh, not actually bothered by the puppy's enthusiasm. Cat giggles at me, her face beaming. She then bends to pick up a calm retriever puppy.

"I can't get over how cute these guys are." She smiles, scratching the pup behind the ears. A saleslady walks over.

"Hello! Are you looking to adopt today?" She asks us.

"No thanks. Just here to play." Cat explains while hugging the puppy closer to herself. The saleslady smiles and gives a nod before walking away. I let the puppy I'm holding use my fingers as a chew toy as I give Cat a questioning look.

"Have you ever thought about getting a dog or cat before?" I ask. "I mean, you love animals."

Cat lets out a sad sigh. "Oh, no, I couldn't. I'd love to, but Barry is actually very allergic to pet fur, so I'd never be able to keep one in our apartment. In fact, I probably won't be able to go near him tonight after this."

Oh my god please rub that puppy all over your face.

"Aw, that's too bad." I sigh. "Maybe one day I'll get a dog and you can come visit it whenever you like. I'll have to get a place that allows pets first, though…"

"That would be fun. Thanks, Tor." Cat smiles, kissing her puppy on the head. Guess there won't be any kisses for Barry tonight. Shucks.

"Hey. What are you doing there?" I ask the puppy that's now licking my neck. "That tickles!"

"He likes you, Tori!" Cat giggles.

"He's very affectionate." I chuckle, trying to turn away from the little guy's slimy tongue.

"I don't blame him. I'd do the same."

"What?" I stare at her, but she's already picking out another puppy.

"Look at this one! It has a cowlick!" Cat starts laughing at the Cocker Spaniel's tuft of hair. I try to ignore the fact that Cat may have just said she'd lick my neck.

We play with the puppies a little longer and I try to dissuade Cat from naming them all and creating emotional connections to family members she can't have. Honestly, it did feel like old times. It was like some void in my life was being filled, if that makes any sense at all.

A mother and a little boy who seems to have some sort of disability comes in at one point. I can tell because he seems to seize up and spasm every so often as if he's lost control of his muscles, but other than that he seems fine. The boy looks over at us and the pen of puppies with a smile. The mother looks to the saleslady.

"Hi, I have some questions…" The mother starts.

"Yes? Can I help you?" The saleslady asks.

"My son over there has cerebral palsy and so he's been having a hard time making friends, and I'm always working so I want him to have someone to keep him company. He's always loved dogs… do you think you'd recommend a puppy for him, or no?" The mother explains. Cat looks up from the puppy pen at this point and I give the bright-smiled child a pitying look. He comes over to the pen with a look of joy, using the pegs of the pen to steady his spasms.

"Oh, um. Honestly, puppies are a lot of energy. I don't think it would be a very good idea. Puppies are unpredictable and they could hurt your son or the dog could get hurt…" The saleslady sighs. The boy hears this and looks up, sad.

"But mom…" He mutters. Cat looks between the mother and son and I try to turn away from the events.

"I'm sorry, Calvin. I told you I'd ask. Maybe we can get a different pet, like a fish?" The mother asks. The boy drops his head.

"But I wanted a dog." He mumbles, sounding shattered. The mother turns back to the saleslady.

"Is there any other animal you'd recommend?" The mom asks. The mother and saleslady start to discuss and I watch Cat press her lips together and scrunch her brow in thought. Then she swiftly stoops into the pen and picks up the golden retriever puppy she was holding earlier. She walks over to the boy.

"Hey, Calvin? Would you like to hold this dog for a bit?" She asks him softly. The boy looks up with tears in his eyes.

"I d-don't want to hurt it." He stutters.

"You won't. This guy is very friendly and calm. Here." Cat urges, holding the dog to him.

"Cat, what are you doing?" I whisper. As much as I want to help the boy, I don't know if it's our place to butt in.

"Just trust me." Cat states to both me and the boy. The boy carefully takes the puppy and holds it close. He looks down at the chill puppy in wonder before having another spell of spasms. The puppy simply sits there unbothered. Once the spasm passes, the puppy gently licks the boy's hand and the boy smiles wildly in response.

"The problem is, the lifespan of a fish isn't very long..." We hear the saleslady explain.

"Excuse me." Cat calls to both of the women. "I think your son has found what he wants."

The mother turns to see her son cuddling with the puppy, looking incredibly happy. The mother clutches her chest and her mouth turns into a quivering smile. "Calvin? Do you like that one?" She asks.

"Yeah. He's really nice." Calvin answers. "See, mom? I don't hurt him."

"That's great, Calv." The mother beams.

"Oh, I didn't know we had a golden retriever left. Yes, I think that would be a good fit for your son." The saleslady notes. "I'll prepare the adoption forms, if you're interested."

"Yes, please." The mother sighs. The saleslady nods and shuffles off.

"The nice red-haired lady gave me him." Calvin states, making Cat smile. The mother looks at Cat.

"Thank you." The mother beams.

"No problem. Everyone deserves a friend." Cat claims, scratching the puppy on the head. We watch as the mother signs the adoption forms and buys toys and food for the dog. The boy waves at us, and Cat gives them a satisfied look as they leave.

I can't help notice how she's glowing right now. She didn't even hesitate in helping the boy, and she made his life a lot better just by her simple gesture. Some things haven't changed. Her compassion still remains and I can't help the rising swell in my chest from watching her right now.

"Cat… That was really sweet of you." I sigh.

"That puppy will be in good hands… so will that boy." Cat states.

"You're going to be a great mother one day." I blurt out. It's true, she had a very maternal quality when dealing with Calvin. Cat turns to me, looking surprised and embarrassed.

"Thanks, Tori. That means a lot." She smiles shyly. "Want to move on?"

"Sure. Where to?" I ask. She thinks for a moment.

"Can you show me your studio? I'd love to see it." Cat requests.

"It's closed today, but I can show you the outside." I smile. Cat grins and proceeds to pull me out after giving the remaining puppies a longing glance. "Ack, do you ever get used to this cold?" I groan as the cold wind hits me.

"Nope. Just tolerate it. I do miss the warm, perfect L.A. weather. At the same time, there's something exciting about the unpredictability of the weather around here." Cat muses.

"Unpredictable? Isn't it just… cold, cold, cold?" I question. Cat lets out a pretty laugh.

"Just you wait until spring." She winks.

"Uh, what? Cat, don't let Canada throw any surprises at me." I whine.

"It's just unpredictable. I don't know. The weather can go from scorching hot to three feet of snow the next day. It's crazy." Cat explains.

"Wait, so it _does _get warm here?" I gasp. She looks over with a teasing smile.

"Sometimes."

"Oh thank god." I breathe, watching my breath come out in a white puff.

"Come on, L.A. girl." Cat giggles. I wish I was looking so hot down in Hollywood right now. "Where to?"

"Um… through the Eaton Centre. Somewhere." I ponder. She nods and pulls me down the street. She clearly knows the area pretty well. I breathe a sigh of relief as I enter the mall, but I feel disappointed when she detaches herself from my arm.

"So, do you like the professional recording experience?" She asks.

"Love it. They played back my vocals for me and it sounded amazing compared to what I was used to hearing off my computer microphone." I explain.

"And who are 'they'?" Cat questions.

"Oh, Vik and Nicky. They own the recording studio. They're great. I think you'd like them." I state.

"If you like them, I'm sure I would. Will you introduce me sometime?"

"Absolutely." I grin. She grins back. We exit the mall from where I remember Vik and Nicky took me the other day, and I'm relieved when Cat hugs my arm to her once again. Okay, the cold isn't that bad if I get this for a deal. "It's a block away." I state, leading her down the way.

"I need to catch up on your videos." She murmurs, leaning her cheek against my shoulder. I feel my cheeks flush with heat at the affectionate gesture. But… I can't think of her that way. Any feelings I had for her have to be forgotten. Not to burst my own bubble, but… She's engaged. To a male. Oh, there goes my bubble.

"I haven't really posted any new music or covers because I've been settling in, so you aren't missing much. However, I _am _posting a new cover in a few days with professional vocals recorded at the studio." I explain.

"Ooh! What song?" Cat inquires curiously. I think for a moment before giving her a sheepish smile.

"I think I'll keep it as a surprise." I state. Cat gives me one of her pouts, but I'm not giving in this time. "Pout all you want, I can have surprises too!"

"Aww, what's the point of being friends with a renowned Splashfacer if I don't get insight on future videos?" Cat sighs.

"Guess you'll have to find other reasons to keep me around." I chuckle. She squeezes my arm tighter.

"Already there." She whispers. I feel a smile curl on my lips and we step in front of Singing Falcon, across the street.

"Well, that's it." I claim.

"Really? Wow… that's crazy." Cat gawks.

"Why's it crazy?" I ask. Cat hesitates for a moment.

"… I just mean, I've passed by this place so often over the years and I never really thought about it. Now, you're signed there. It's crazy." She states.

"Yeah, I guess it is." I nod. She turns to me, taking my hands in hers.

"Do you think you could let me sit in on a recording session one time? I promise I won't make any bootleg copies." Cat pleads.

"Well, since you promised." I laugh. Cat's face splits into a wide smile.

"Yay!" She tackles me with a hug. "I've missed so much of your life. I want to be involved in what you do and your growing success to make up for it." Cat mutters. I smile and push her back a bit.

"Ditto." I say. "If I promise to not sneak out this time, can I come to your performance at the diner on Tuesday?" I ask.

"Well, since you promised." Cat smirks before giving me another tight hug.

"What time is it?" I ask into her vibrant hair. She releases me and pulls out her phone.

"4:26… what do you want to do now?" She asks.

"Get out of the cold." I shiver. She smiles at me.

"Where's your car?"

"Back at the diner." I frown. Cat quickly grabs my arm.

"Better start walking." She states, pulling me behind her. Along the way I watch as she passes out dollar and two-dollar coins on the street to every homeless person we come across, as well as giving them wishes of good luck.

"Isn't there a chance that they'll just use that money for drugs and alcohol?" I ask.

"Yeah, there's always a chance. But there's a chance they won't. One bit of kindness can give someone the boost they need to get them up on their feet, and then who knows where they can go from there?" Cat philosophizes. "They might go on to really make a difference and be happy."

"You feel really strongly about it, huh?" I say, noticing the serious look on her face. She lets out a sigh.

"Remember when I said I didn't really plan my stay here well? Let's just say that before Barry showed me kindness, I was in no better position than some of the people we've seen down on their luck." Cat says quietly. I stare at her for a moment and feel a pang of pity in my heart. I can't imagine Cat reduced to living on the streets for a while. That makes me want to envelope her in my arms.

So I do.

I stop walking and she gives me a questioning look before I pull her close and rest my cheek on her head. It's different from the excited, grateful hugs she's been giving me all day. It's a protective hug, full of the same compassion she's been showing other people all day. I am _so _never ignoring a homeless person ever again. I feel Cat slowly put her arms around my waist.

"Tori?" Her voice is muffled against my shoulder.

"I'm sorry you went through that." I breathe. She gives me a squeeze.

"It was only for a few months, I swear. I'm much better now. Remember?"

"Yeah… thank god for Barry." I mumble. Okay, I'm not too fond of whoever this guy is, but at least I can respect him for helping Cat when I couldn't. Her head bobs in a nod against me before leaning back with a smile, however our hips stay attached and her hands rest on my sides.

"It still boggles my mind, actually. I wasn't looking my best at the time. I couldn't afford my hair dye so my roots were showing like crazy… I'm surprised he asked me out. But now I'm good, healthy and happy, with a fully dyed head of hair." Cat assures me, and then she touches my cheek gently. "Thanks for caring." She says, and then she frowns slightly. "Your face is freezing. Come on."

She continues to pull me along while I watch her silently out of the corner of my eye. She starts talking about how she organized a charity event for the homeless through The Larksong Diner and they raised a lot of money. I feel worried. As expected, I start to play scenarios in my head about why such a loving, happy person would leave her life behind and land herself in a desperate situation. How desperate must her situation have been back then? She told me she wasn't kidnapped, but what if that _is _what she was trying to escape? Or maybe she accidentally got herself in trouble and maybe she's on someone's hit list and had to get out. Or… the possibilities are endless. I can't shake the feeling that she is in some sort of danger. It would explain why she can't tell me anything. She could be trying to protect me from what she's running from.

The idea makes me want to hug her to myself protectively all over again. There's no way I'm going to let myself lose her for real at some point. I want to ask, to know what I'm really dealing with, to know how I can keep her out of harm's way. But she specifically asked me not to inquire about her reasons for faking death, or how she did it. I told her I'd respect that request, and I'm not prepared for a fight that may lead to us not talking. She seemed serious when she made her request. But still, I feel helpless knowing there might be something putting her in danger and not knowing what it is. But I won't let it get her. Not a kind-hearted person like Cat.

"Tori?" Cat's voice breaks through my thoughts. "We're at your car. You okay? You look really intense." She observes nervously. I shake my head.

"Just lost in thought." I smile at her. She smiles back as I unlock my car doors.

"What were you thinking of?" She asks. I press my lips together.

"How I don't want to lose you again." I say truthfully. It's not the full truth of what I was thinking of, but it was a part of it. Cat's face softens a considerable amount, a faint blush on her cheeks.

"I wouldn't worry about that. I don't want to lose you either." She whispers. "We'll be the best of friends again, no doubt." Cat states.

"Good, I'm glad because I never stopped thinking of you as my best friend." I say without thinking. Okay, I don't have the best tact in the world but hey, it's true. She's always been my best friend next to Andre.

"Same." She mutters, looking at the ground. Without making eye contact she walks over to the passenger side, and once again I rush past her and pop the door open for her.

"I don't know why I keep doing this." I sigh. I'm sure I have the goofiest grin on my face, because when she looks at me she laughs.

"I like it. It's like you're my chauffeur." She chuckles.

"Milady." I bow jokingly, gesturing to the car seat. Wow, I'm lame. But she laughs again anyway and slides into the seat before I run back to the driver's side. I get in and she's giving me a fond look. "What?" I ask.

"You're just cute, that's all." She states. I feel a blush creep on my face.

"Oh, um, thanks." I mumble embarrassed as I start the car. Once the engine revs up, the radio turns on and I'm met with the voices of the radio hosts.

"I love these guys." Cat states as I pull out of the parking space.

"Never really heard them. Where are we going?" I ask. Cat gives a shrug.

"Wherever. Just drive until we see something of interest." She suggests. That's one of the many things I love about Cat and another thing that hasn't changed. She's so spontaneous and can easily go with the flow.

So I start to drive and Cat laughs at what the guys on the radio are talking about. I admit, they're pretty funny.

"**Hey everyone this is Cash and Wylde on KiSS 92.5! Now, our next song is one of our most requested – this guy is pretty new to the scene but he's already taking the world by storm with two major hits! Here it is...**"

And then I hear a very familiar sound.

"Oh my god!" I gasp.

"It's Andre's song!" Cat exclaims excitedly. This is my first time hearing it since I've been in Toronto. I start shuffling around with one hand on the wheel and one hand in my pocket to get my phone out.

"Quick, help me out." I request, before dialing the phone and putting it on speaker. I give it to Cat who holds it out, so I can focus on driving. The phone starts to ring and I turn the volume down on the radio.

"**Hey Tor… what up?** **Why the long distant phone call?**" Andre's voice asks. Cat lets out a silent gasp at the sound of his voice.

"This is important!" I claim.

"**Everything seems important with you… is it about C-**"

"No!" I cut him off quickly. "You're going to **love **this." I state, cranking up the volume.

"**Aw shit, no way!**"

"International, baby!" I let out a whoop. I start singing along loudly to it and Cat slaps a hand over her mouth to suppress a giggle. He stays on the line until the song is over.

"**Man, I have to tell my girl! That made my day. Thanks Tori**."

"No problem, Mr. Successful. Talk to you later, Andre!" I say.

"**Later, girl.**"

Cat presses the end call button as I turn the radio volume down again, grinning from ear to ear.

"Man, I'm just so happy for that guy." I sigh.

"It was nice to hear his voice again." Cat nods. "I never had a doubt in my mind that he would be big. He's so talented."

"Yeah he is! Getting plays internationally." I shake my head incredulously.

"I hear his songs a lot here… Honestly, I was surprised I wasn't hearing your voice when I first heard it. Why aren't you singing with him?" She asks curiously. I tense up a little. Part of me doesn't want to lie, as if that will set some sort of example to Cat for keeping secrets… but I don't want her to know the full truth of some things.

"Well, you know… He got a girlfriend and I guess that kind of beats me out, right? It didn't bother me. She has an amazing voice." I explain. She nods slowly.

"I can't wait to start hearing your voice among the top songs on the radio… and TV. And movies." Cat says.

"Huh, you seem to have a lot of faith in me there." I smirk.

"Do I? I don't know. It's like with Andre. There's no doubt in my mind you'll be huge one day. In fact, you'll probably be the brightest star in the sky I way I see it." Cat shrugs nonchalantly. Oh. My heart strings. How they pull. She doesn't say it out of pity or encouragement. She says it as if it's an obvious fact.

"Thanks, I needed that." I sigh. She looks over at me with a smile. "See anywhere you want to go yet?" I ask.

"Not yet." Cat mumbles, looking out the windows. I'm looking through the windshield when I see it. A tiny white spec magically appears in the line of my vision.

"Uhh, what's that on my windshield? Did a very small bird just…? Did a bunch of small birds just?! WHAT'S HAPPENING?" I screech as more flakes cloud my vision. Wait. Flakes? Oh…

"It's snow, silly!" Cat laughs. "Pull over here!"

"What, here?"

"Yeah!"

I do what she says and she quickly runs out of the car before I can say anything.

"Cat!" I call out to her as I climb out of the car. I watch as she runs across the road to some sort of open area. I wait for a gap in the traffic and run across as well. When I get across I find myself in a large courtyard that looks very modern and elegant, sticking out from the rest of the tightly packed grey buildings. Cat's standing with her arms out, face to the sky and mouth wide open. The smile on her face is exuberant.

I become aware of the snowflakes around me, falling heavily and starting to gather on my coat. Cat's red hair already has a layer over top that makes it look like her hair is literally a red velvet cupcake with some icing sugar on top. Fitting.

This is the first time I've ever seen snow fall in person. I'm serious. I didn't know what to expect but… It's calm. I think I like it more than rain.

"Isn't it beautiful, Tori?" Cat asks, spinning around for a moment. I can't help but grin at her. Even at 20 she is filled with child-like wonderment.

"Yeah, it is." I nod, walking over to her. "It's not as bad as I thought."

"I love the snow, ever since I first saw it. I mean, it's kind of icky when there's a lot, but when it's like this? It's just so…"

"Serene."

"Yeah." Cat smiles at me.

"Where are we?" I ask, looking around. There's a fair amount of people here also, walking on through under the falling blanket of snow.

"This? It's Nathan Phillips Square. Nice, huh? See that," Cat points toward a long rectangular dip in the ground with three archways over top of it, "When it's colder, that's made into an ice rink."

"_Colder_?" I gasp. I do not want colder. No way.

"_Yes_ but believe me, it's really pretty to go skating here at night." Cat assures me.

"Huh… Maybe we should come by some time. It could be fun. _If _it gets colder." Even though I know I'll spend most of it flat on my ass.

"Well the snow is a good sign. Maybe a cold front is coming through?" Cat ponders.

"Joy." I groan. She giggles and grabs my hand. Then we just stand there, holding hands and taking in the snowy scenery around us. I notice the snow is starting to stick to the ground a bit more as the landscape becomes more and more white. I'm wearing gloves right now but I kind of wish I wasn't. Cat's hands are gloveless yet I can tell through the material of my glove that they are somehow so warm… Or maybe that's my hand's doing.

I'm jolted out of my thoughts by Cat rustling my hair with her free hand. "Sorry, you were starting to look like an old lady with all that white in your hair." Cat giggles. Her smiles falls a bit while she looks at me with something unreadable.

"What?" I ask, feeling self-conscious. If she tells me that it wasn't the snow making my hair white I swear…

"Nothing… it's just… the way the water droplets left by the snow in your hair are catching the light… It's like you're sparkling." Cat breathes, still staring. I blush, turning away from her gaze.

"Did you ever come here with Barry?" I ask, trying to remind myself that she's engaged.

"Oh yeah, tons of time." She answers.

"I'll try to be a decent replacement." I wink at her. She seems to scowl for a moment before her face softens.

"Hey, no, don't say that. No one could replace you, Tori. I'm glad you're the one here with me." Cat sighs. I think the reason her hand is so warm is because she just emulates warmth, and I feel like she's giving some to me with everything she says. I hardly feel the sting of the cold anymore.

"I'm glad I'm here with you, too. Thank you for helping me experience my first snowfall." I say. Cat looks away but her mouth turns up into a smirk.

"I'm glad you like it as much as I do." Cat states, turning her head up to the sky again. She sticks her tongue out and I watch as a few flakes land on it. She always has enjoyed catching precipitation on her tongue. Her eye darts over to catch me staring, and I know I have a slight smile on my face. She looks over to me. "What?"

"You're just cute, that's all." I repeat what she said earlier. She stares at me for a moment before breaking into a wide grin.

"Are you feeling cold at all?" She asks. I give a shrug.

"Just a little bit."

"Then how about we go get a warm drink or something?" Cat suggests.

"Ooh, that sounds so nice right now." I say. Cat giggles and, tugging my hand in hers, she pulls me back the way we came.

"Well there's a Starbucks right across the street." I note.

"Oh no, we're not going to Starbucks. Don't be ridiculous." Cat smiles, pulling me back to my car. I frown at the Starbucks.

"I know it's a little expensive but their Chai Tea is great…" I mutter.

"Listen, I told you earlier today that I would introduce you to more Canadian things, right?" She recalls as we step out in front of my car.

"Yes…" I eye her suspiciously.

"Exactly. Now get in the car." She releases my hand and pats both my shoulders before heading to the passenger side. I'm too confused to go open it for her this time. I do what she says, however, and after I take my seat I pull the car into drive. "You have snow tires, right?"

I blink at her. "Snow tires? They have tires made for snow?" I ask. She gapes at me.

"Tori! Who is taking care of you? Honestly!" She scoffs.

"Just clueless little old me." I pout. She rolls her eyes.

"Well it's just a little bit of snow on the ground so you should be fine. Just go slow and leave a lot of space for stopping." Cat instructs.

"Is it really that bad?" I ask.

"For the average Canadian? No. For you? Maybe." Cat states.

"I take offence." I mutter.

"Just drive. I'll tell you where to go." Cat says. I let out a sigh and start to drive. She was right. It seemed like every time I had to stop or make a turn, I was relying on my ESC brakes. Who knew such a thin sheet of snow would be so slippery? "Okay, just up here." Cat says anxiously. I pull into the parking-lot of a place I had only ever heard of.

Tim Hortons.

"Oh, yeah. This place. I see it everywhere around here but I've never actually gone inside one." I say.

"Well today's the day." Cat smiles, getting out of the car. I get out too and together we walk in. I don't know what I was expecting. This place is supposed to be the pinnacle of Canadian café's, so I guess maybe a moose mascot and a hockey rink. But it's just a small coffee shop with a fair amount of people inside. It has a warm atmosphere and a thick smell of coffee, but that's about it. However, it's also warm in here so it's my favourite place at the moment. "I hope they still have it… ooh, yes!" Cat smiles with glee as she practically hops up to the line.

"Have what?" I ask as I look at the large menu. I'm not a big coffee drinker, but they seem to have choices for people who don't drink coffee.

"Candy-cane hot chocolate." Cat grins. "It's only seasonal, but it's one of my favourite drinks to get here."

"That sounds very sweet." I wrinkle my nose.

"It is! Isn't it great?" Cat giggles. Yet another thing that hasn't changed.

"What do you recommend?" I ask.

"Um… do you still not like coffee?"

I love how she remembers these things. "Not really."

"Well… like I said, I like the candy-cane hot chocolate, but there's also hot smoothies, regular hot chocolate, apple cider…"

"Apple cider. That sounds perfect." I state.

"Do you want any food? It's practically dinner time." Cat notes.

"Sure. I'll probably get something warm." I say.

"They have a soup and bagel combo." Cat suggests.

"Oh, chicken-noodle soup with a toasted everything-bagel sounds heavenly right now." I sigh. Cat nods and steps up the cashier.

"Hi, welcome to Tim Hortons, what can I get you?" The girl asks.

"A medium candy-cane hot chocolate, a medium apple cider, and two soup and bagel combos with chicken noodle soup and everything-bagels, toasted with… cream cheese or butter, Tori?" Cat asks. I'm taken aback for a moment.

"Uh… cream cheese." I mutter dumbly.

"Both bagels with cream cheese." Cat smiles. The cashier runs it through and Cat sticks her debit card into the machine. I note that her debit is from TD.

"Hey!" I protest.

"No worries, my treat." Cat grins and she finishes paying. She leads me over to the glass counter where they are getting everything together.

"You didn't have to do that. Thank you." I sigh.

"Think of it as a thank you for giving me a second chance." Cat gives a small smile. I falter a bit at that. I guess she didn't really expect me to forgive her. My brain is still stalling as she walks past me with a tray of our food and drinks.

I mean, it's not like the food was anything special, but it filled me up and I enjoyed it. The apple cider, however, was delicious. I would order that again. Cat and I made small and pleasant conversation. I asked her if she was a hockey fan yet. She said no but said Barry was a huge Maple Leafs fan. From what Cat told me about Barry's hockey nights, his team doesn't do very well. She asked me what inspired me to start posting to Splashface, and I explained how it was something to do while I waited to hear from producers. Just casual conversation. Very natural.

Like nothing has changed.

"Congratulations, you're slightly more Canadianized." Cat smiles as we finish.

"Great. Do I get a commemorative badge?" I joke.

"No." Cat giggles. "But here." And she leans across the table to kiss me on the cheek. I feel my heart race. "Does that work?"

"Yes." I smile. "I hope you don't run around kissing everyone who indulges themselves in Canadian culture."

"Nope. Just special ones." Cat grins as she gathers up everything on our tray. She walks away to place everything back on the glass counter and I feel a pang of normalcy. Like something that I was missing just got filled. It's recognizable, but I can't put my finger on when I've felt this way before. "Ready to go?" She asks curiously when she comes back to the table, noticing my far off look.

"What? Oh, yeah." I shake it off.

"You've been spacing out a lot today, huh? That's usually my thing." Cat smirks.

"What can I say? I'm a thinker." I sigh. I mean she's right. I've never had so many space-case moments as I have since Cat reappeared in my life last night. Last night? It feels like longer than that…

I leave the Tim Hortons with Cat and we head back to my car. It's gotten dark out since last time we were outside, and the snow has stopped falling and has all but melted on the pavement. Cat seems to frown at this. I almost get ready to open the door for her again, but I notice her stop short and shift slightly.

"Well…" She trails off. "It's getting late. This has been _really _nice, but Barry will probably start to worry if I'm not home soon."

I guess it makes sense. I can't hog her to myself, but I still feel sad with the idea of our catch-up day coming to an end. "Oh, okay. I'll drive you back to your place." I state. She shifts again.

"Actually, that's why I directed you here instead of the billions of other Tim Hortons in the city. My building is just about two blocks away, so I can probably walk it." She states. I let my hand holding my key fall limply at my side.

"Are you sure? Will you be fine by yourself?" I ask, still worried about the possible danger plaguing Cat's life. And if it's not that danger, then there're always common muggers or rapists…

"I'll be fine, it's a good neighbourhood. I promise." Cat assures me. "Thanks, though."

I give a reluctant shrug to agree. "Well then, I guess this is goodbye." I say, opening my arms a bit. She smiles and bounds into my hug. This is it. She's leaving now.

"Again, I had a really nice time today. It was fun!" Cat mutters by my ear.

"Yeah…" I breathe. She's going to walk away when I let go of her.

"Okay, bye Tori!" Cat says as she pulls away. And what if I never get to experience this again?

What if I never see her again?

Cat pauses and looks down at her arm where my hand frantically grasped at her. I fumble a bit, not remember doing that. "Uh… Sorry. Bye." I say, releasing her. She gives a small smile and turns away – only to be stopped by the hand on her arm again. What's wrong with me?! "I… don't know why I keep doing this." I mutter. But I don't let go this time.

"Tori…?" Cat gives me a questioning look and I turn my head away from her gaze. I know I'm psyching myself out. This isn't like last time. There's no reason she should be disappearing again… is there?

"Sorry, again… I just… I…" I stumble over my words, still not meeting her eyes. I see her pause for a moment, and then she nods slowly. She places her other hand gently on my hand and tries to brush it away, but my grip is staying firm. I feel my eyes start to sting with tears. God, why am I being so pathetic?

"Tori, it's okay." Cat whispers. She tips my chin up to look at her and she gives me a comforting smile. There it is. That feeling of normalcy again that I can't place. My hand easily slips off her arm. To my surprise, she steps closer rather than trying to leave again. "Just a minute." She says, and then she pulls out her phone. She dials and couple of numbers and after a moment of holding it to her ear, she speaks again. "Hey… Yeah, I'm fine, I'm not too far away… It was good, really good. Listen, can you get some of my things for overnight ready? I'm going to swing by and pick them up in a sec… Yeah, I am… I don't know, I guess I'm just not done catching up yet. I haven't seen her in a long time, Barry… Okay, thank you. I'll see you in a bit… Love you too. Bye."

She clicks off her phone and I give her an incredulous look. "What was that about?" I ask.

"Sorry… maybe I should've asked first. Do you mind if I stay at your place tonight? It can be like a sleep over. Like old times!" Cat grins. Aw… she's so sweet. Not only that, but I notice her demeanor and voice changes a lot between when she's talking to me and talking to her fiancé. Interesting.

"I'd love that, but you don't have to. I'm being stupid about this." I mutter, turning away from her again. She stops me by putting a hand on my cheek.

"No, you're not." She says firmly as she stares into my eyes. "Tori, I want you to know I'm not going anywhere ever again. There's no way I'm losing this again. It means too much to me."

"This?" I ask.

"Us." Cat clarifies. "I've been trying to figure out all day how you're putting up with me. I left you without much of a goodbye, or an explanation other than a morbid one. I had my reasons, but I think if I were you, I would be pissed!" She curses. Wow. I've never heard her say a curse word before. Usually we would stick with "wazz" and "chiz" around her because she would get so offended. "For a long time I imagined what it would be like if I reunited with you. I imagined you yelling and berating me, shouting profanities… maybe you'd even punch me. I don't know." She steps closer, lowering her voice. "Apparently I didn't give you enough credit."

"Cat…" I sigh.

"You've been so nice to me all day, just like high school. That's why I said earlier I feel like nothing's changed. I'm sure you're still upset, and I'm sorry about that. I really, **really **am. I'm going to make it up to you, somehow. Starting with tonight… I'm going to stay with you until you feel comfortable that I'm going to stay in your life from now on, even when I'm not there. Okay?" Cat states.

"Kay," Is all that I can breathe out. She read me like a book. Her hand falls off my cheek and she silently walks over to the passenger side of my car. I want to believe her. I do. But my trust with her is a little rocky at the moment. She looks at me expectantly and I limply unlock the door for her. She climbs inside and I follow suit, mind still reeling from what she said. I sit there for a moment, contemplating. Then, I turn to her. "I don't think I could ever punch you, FYI." I say. She lets a short laugh.

"Well, I won't blame you if you do." She states.

"Careful. That kind of talk earned me a punch in the face once." I joke, remembering the time she punched me for kissing her boyfriend. Her smile falters.

"Yeah… good times, right?"

"Definitely. So your condo is just down there, right?" I ask.

"Right." Cat confirms. I drive over and find myself in front of the building for a third time in my life. "I'll be right back, I swear." She promises as she steps out of the car. I nod and she leaves.

Now that she's gone, maybe I can think a little more clearly. She definitely feels guilty, that's for sure… so much so that she's spending the night with me instead of her fiancé… What a sweetheart. She's showing the same compassion for me that she has towards other people all day.

_But I just want to know if she's in danger or not!_

Scratch that. I really want to know why she made herself disappear at all, but I don't think I'm getting that answer any time soon. I'll have to settle for one piece of the puzzle at a time.

Not too long after, I see Cat run out with an overnight bag and she practically skips back to the car. "Okay, we're ready to go. Take me back to your place." Cat proclaims. Heh.

"Alright. You have a sleeping bag or something?" I ask. Cat looks confused for a moment.

"Oh… I don't really own one. I just figured we'd share a bed like before…" She trails off. I feel myself blush.

"Yeah, I mean, of course that's fine. It's just, my bed is a single, so we might be a little squished…" I explain slowly.

"Well if it gets uncomfortable, I can always sleep on the couch." Cat suggests. I stare at her for a moment and I can't help but burst out laughing.

"Ha! A 'couch'! Yeah, right!" I cackle. Cat raises her eyebrow.

"And what's so funny about that?"

I wipe my eye and let out a breath. "Oh… nothing… you'll see." I chuckle, driving off. I mean, at first it was funny… but then the closer I got to my apartment the more I felt self-conscious. Deep down I know Cat won't care – she spent a few months on the streets after all. Still, comparing her gorgeous, luxurious condominium to my tiny, wear-and-tear studio apartment? I can't help but feel a little lacking. I kind of wish I had something more impressive to show her. I _really _wish I had cleaned up… Oh my god, what if I have underwear lying on the ground?!

Oblivious to my chaotic thoughts, Cat's practically vibrating with excitement by the time I pull into my building's parking garage. "Wow! You live really close to downtown, huh?" She comments as we head from the car to the building. "Doesn't it get noisy at night?"

"Sometimes. About a week ago there were a bunch of sirens whizzing by all night. I mean, it was annoying but judging by the sirens, someone else was having a worse night than I was." I shrug. Cat lets out a giggle as we enter the building. My nose immediately wrinkles at the musty smell that I don't think I'll ever get used to. I almost glance at Cat to see if she's wrinkling her nose as well, but I decide against it. Thank god I have some air fresheners in my apartment. I see my stand-offish superintendent sweeping over by elevators, and he looks up at us as we approach. I give him a polite smile and he nods at me before staring at Cat. I feel her automatically move closer to me and she stays that way until we're behind the closed elevator doors.

"Your caretaker is a little creepy." She mutters.

"That's actually the landlord... and yeah, but I think he's just a little misunderstood, that's all. I wouldn't let him bother you." I assure her. She gives a nod before we get off at the third floor. I walk to my door and take a deep breath. This is it.

I unlock the door and step inside to flick on the light, stepping aside and holding the door open to usher her in. I'm pleasantly assaulted by the flowery scent of my air fresheners. She steps in and looks around, a small smile on her face that I can't read.

"So, shall I give you the grand tour?" I drawl, closing the door behind me. I kick off my shoes and step from the door alcove to my square room that I call home. "This is castle Tori. Straight ahead in the corner you'll see my bed and miniature dresser. The far left wall is my five-star kitchen. This back wall is where I watch all my soaps on this old-school TV, this closet here doubles as my front hall AND bedroom closet. And immediately to your left you'll find the only other door leading to another room in this place – the bathroom, complete with shower, sink and toilet." I conclude. To my relief I see that I didn't leave any underwear out. Thank god, I could hug myself.

I hesitantly glance over to Cat to gauge her reaction. She's still glancing around and taking it in. "Oh, I get why I won't have a couch to choose from." She comments. I feel myself flush and run my hand through my hair awkwardly.

"Yeah, sorry… I know it's not very glamorous…" I mutter.

"I love it." Cat exclaims, turning to face me.

"Really?" I gape at her. She's probably humouring me, but it's still nice of her to say.

"Really. It's cozy… Everything you need in one place. And it smells nice in here." Cat states. Thank god she noticed. I flash her an embarrassed smile.

"Can I take your coat?" I ask. She nods, slipping it off to reveal her maroon long-sleeved crew-neck. I take her coat and she takes off her shoes. I open the closet and ruffle through it to find a place amongst my wardrobe. I probably could've brought fewer clothes to Canada, but they all seemed so necessary when I was packing. Finally I find a spot and after taking my coat and gloves off to put them away, I notice Cat has stepped further into the apartment. She notices my guitar leaning up against the wall at the foot of my bed next to my keyboard bag. I watch silently as she slowly runs her hand over the head of the guitar and down the neck and strings. She looks up at me, her eyes full of excitement.

"This is your guitar? It's so nice! I can tell you take care of it." She says. I give a shy smile, closing my closet door and joining her.

"Well, it's part of my livelihood after-all." I grin, patting it gently. "And that's my keyboard in that bag. I pull it out if I'm recording something or just want to jam…"

"Will you play me something?" Cat asks suddenly. "Um, on the guitar or whatever. Up to you."

Well, that was a request out of nowhere. To be honest, I haven't sang or warmed up my voice since my voice struggled in studio a few days ago. I sang to Andre's song, but that wasn't exactly proper singing… I don't know how I'll sound. Aw, but she looks so excited… "Oh, uh, I don't know… Maybe later." I shift a bit. Cat steps closer, giving a pout.

"You got to see me perform. It's been forever since I've seen you sing live. I've missed that." She whispers. Damnit, how can I say no to that face?

"Alright! You win. Once you settle in." I agree with a sigh. She practically jumps in the air and lets out a squeal, and then her attention is drawn away once again when she moves to the medium-sized crank window halfway between my bed and the kitchen-wall. She leans over the ledge looking out of it.

"Your view isn't bad." She says.

"Yes, it's a glorious view of the drugstore across the street. Don't you have a view of the lake?" I ask. She turns to me, giving a questioning look.

"Yeah, but… I don't know. At night the lake is just dark. At least here you have some pretty street lights and buildings." Cat points out. Huh. I never thought of it like that.

"I guess you're right." I smile. She smiles back and drops her bag by the window.

"I'll go put my toothbrush and such in the bathroom and change into P.J's. When I come out you better be ready to play me music, Tori Vega." Cat warns.

"Okay, okay!" I laugh as she takes her change of clothes and bathroom products into her arms. She grins as she walks past me and I watch her until the bathroom door is closed. She catches my eye between the crack in the door before it shuts, and she shoots me a shy smile just as the door clicks shut. Why do my cheeks hurt so much? Oh, it's because I can't stop smiling. Geez.

I move her bag closer to beside my bed and cringe when I see the state of my bed. I didn't make it this morning, and I wish I had. And then I let out a mortified gasp. There. On my bed. Underwear. She didn't see that, did she? I quickly grab it and search around frantically. I leap over my bed to my dresser and quickly drop it one of the drawers. There. Crisis averted.

Taking a deep breath, I move over to my guitar and sit on the edge of the bed with it. I don't know why I'm suddenly so nervous. It's not like this is a date, and it's not like I've never spent the night with Cat before. I mean, she's probably seen more embarrassing things than underwear. I'm being childish… I'm just going to sit here and tune my guitar, and then I'm going to sing for her like I've always done. Nothing's really changed. There's nothing to worry about…

My hands slip and hit a dissonant chord on my guitar when Cat steps out of the bathroom. My mouth pops over as my eyes drag over her attire. She's simply wearing a black spaghetti strap tank and some navy blue micro-shorts that basically expose her whole leg up to her hipbone. Y-yeah… nothing to be nervous about…

"What?" Cat asks, shifting awkwardly under my gaze. Snap out of it, Tori.

"Uh, nothing! I was just… expecting more clothes. N-not that what you have on is bad or anything. Just… won't you be cold?" Nice save. I mean, my pajamas usually consist of an old sweater and sweatpants.

"Oh. I don't think so. I'm not usually cold at night while I wear this." Cat explains. Right, she probably wears that to bed all the time with Barry… Okay, let's never think about that again. Thanks.

"Okay, but just warning you this place doesn't get much airflow with the furnace and it can get really freezing at night." I state. Cat frowns slightly.

"I didn't really bring anything warmer to sleep in…" She sighs.

"That's okay. I'll keep you warm." I offer. I'll what?! Why'd I say that? Why not something like, oh then you can borrow one of my sweaters? Ugh.

Despite the awkwardness of my statement, Cat smiles and blushes. "Thank you. It'd be greatly appreciated." She mumbles. She walks over and sits down in front of me on the ground looking expectant. I let out a sigh.

"Do you have any requests?" I ask. She releases a bright smile.

"Yup. I have something in mind." She claims.

"Okay, what is it?"

"Here's to Us." Cat says. I blink at her.

"Oh, wow. That's an old one. I haven't sung that since our sophomore Cow-Wow at Hollywood Arts." I recall.

"Mhm. It was one of my favourites that you sang, and I love everything you sang so that's saying a lot." Cat grins. She's just going to keep making me blush, isn't she?

"Well okay. I'm going to shorten it a bit because honestly I don't know if I remember the words… or chords. Here let me just…" I start strumming some things until it sounds right. "There. Ready?"

"Been ready for three years." Cat sighs, giving me an endearing look. Yeah the blush is never going to leave my face. I start running my pick along the strings, allowing the tones to fill the room around us.

"_Oooooh,  
Oooooh,_

_Here's to the Mondays,  
Watching all the cars on the freeway,  
I ain't got a thing to do,  
Can I sit here next to you?  
And oh, oh, ohh_

_Yeah I kinda wish I got paid,  
'Cause my card got maxed out yesterday,  
Could you give me a shot,  
And I'll work with what I got,  
Not a dollar in my pocket but I work it like I ain't broke,  
Y'know?_

_Oooooh  
Here's to us  
Uh oh,  
Here's to  
Oooooh  
Here's to us  
Uh oh,  
Here's to…_

_Never winning first place,  
Here's to, crying on your birthday  
Here's to, every single heart break  
Here's to, raining on your own parade  
Here's to, showing up anyway  
Here's to us, Here's to us  
Here's to_

_Here's to the Mondays._"

My voice was perfect. I mean, not to sound vain or anything, but it was definitely back to normal. It was clear and crisp even without warming it up. Vik and Nicky are sure going to be happy. I know Cat is. She's giving me a look like I just made all her dreams come true.

"Tori, that was wonderful. You've improved, and I didn't even think that was possible." Cat states.

"R-really?" I stumble.

"Mhm." She nods standing up and walking close to me. She leans her elbows on her guitar so that her face is close to mine. She smiles at me sweetly and I feel the heat rush to my cheek and my heart rate increase. "The audio over Splashface doesn't even do it justice. The hundreds of thousands of people going to be at your concerts one day will be really lucky."

"Thanks, Cat." I mutter, my eyes glancing away. She tilts her head slightly.

"You have no idea how much I've enjoyed being called Cat again today." She breathes. My eyes find hers again and I feel my breath catch. Her eyes are still that caramel-brown hue.

"Well… that's your name. To me, anyways." I say softly.

"Yeah… it is." She sighs, her voice barely audible. I can feel her warm breath on my face and her fingers lightly pick at the collar of my shirt while she searches my eyes, biting her lip. My hair stands on end from goose bumps as if my whole body is screaming for her to come closer. This moment is familiar. It's just like before she kissed me three years ago, except this time she's not closing the distance. Then, I swear I see her shift forward slightly…

"Okay!" I exclaim suddenly, making her jump as I swiftly pull off my guitar. She jumps back a bit from me as I stand up to lean my guitar back down. "How about some TV? See what movies are on tonight." I suggest. I look at her to see her face slightly flushed and for a moment she has a look of bewilderment, but it quickly replaced by a smile. I wonder if she was remembering the kiss, too.

"Yeah, that sounds good!" She says cheerfully. I nod and head to the TV stand, picking up the remote. When I turn around she has sat herself down against my headboard. She smirks at me and lightly taps on the bed next to her. I smile and crawl over the bed to join her. Flipping through the channels, we eventually decide on Just Like Heaven, which already almost half over. But Cat likes it, and I haven't seen it in forever. "Got any popcorn?" She asks.

"Uh… no. Sorry. I don't really have very many guests over so I never think to buy any." I shrug.

"So you don't just eat a whole bag of popcorn yourself?" Cat asks curiously. I turn my head to give her a teasing smile.

"You do?"

"Is that so weird?" She huffs.

"No, I guess not. Popcorn is delicious. I'll have it next time you're over, promise. We'll have a bag each." I say.

"Haha, perfect." Cat grins.

"In the meantime, do you want anything else? Food… drink…" I offer. She shakes her head.

"No, but thank you." She says, linking her arm with mine as we watched the movie. I forgot how much I liked this one. I don't think I ever watched it with Cat. She tells me that she's seen it about a hundred times, but she still laughs at every joke like she just heard it. That's so Cat. And both of us express confusion at the scene where they 'touch' hands. That never made sense to either of us. Seriously, go see the movie if you haven't.

This is nice.

No really, like… Vik and Nicky are great, but outside of business I don't have any other friends here. Cat's so familiar and… natural. It'll be nice to have such a close friend back again.

The movie ends and Cat lets out a yawn and a stretch. I check the time. Eleven. I'm supposed to be at the studio ready to record again bright and early tomorrow. Ugh. "What are you up to tomorrow?" I ask.

"Nothing. Day off tomorrow. We always get days off before performance days so we can vocal rest and drink tea. You?"

"Back in studio to track some vocals." I explain. I kind of want to invite her to the studio, but I'll already be seeing her performance on Tuesday and I'd hate to smother her. Besides, I think I need a day to reflect.

"Look at you, hard worker." She shoves me playfully. "I'm going to go brush my teeth and wash my face and such." Cat states, pushing herself off my bed.

"Alright. See you in a bit." I say. She once again shares a small look with me before closing the door. Well, I think I have time to change.

I quickly throw off my clothes and grab my usual old sweater for bed, and I find some flannel pajama bottoms. I keep glancing at the bathroom door the entire time, just to make sure she doesn't walk out on me changing and think I'm perving. She wouldn't think that, right? Regardless, I'm diving under the bed if I hear her come out.

Luckily, I'm fully clothed by the time she comes out and she gives me and my wardrobe change a smile. "Well you look warm. Bathroom's all yours." She says.

"Thanks." I nod, walking past her. I close the door without looking at her, and I wonder if I should have. What if she's not there when I get out?! I throw the door open almost immediately. She's shuffling through her bag and she gives me a surprised look.

"Done already?" She questions.

"Uh… no… just…"

"Checking if I was still here?" Cat says with a small smile. I immediately look down in guilt. "I'm not going anywhere, okay? Go do your bathroomy things."

"Okay. Sorry." I mutter.

"Don't be." She smiles just before I close the door.

Get a grip, Vega.

After I finish, I walk out the bathroom door and Cat kept to her word. She's still here, only lying in my bed under the covers and facing away from me. I can feel the air around me and I let out a shiver. Just as I thought, my apartment is freezing. I hope she's not too cold, but she might be already asleep. As hyper as Cat always was, she would always fall asleep rather quickly. I think she just crashed from all the sugar she used to eat. I'm careful not to make any sounds as I turn off the light and crawl under the covers next to her. I set my phone alarm and close my eyes, trying to shut my brain off. Then I feel the bed shift as Cat flips to face me.

"I'm sorry I gave you separation anxiety." She murmurs.

"What? No, I don't have that…" I scoff.

"Are you paranoid every time I'm out of your sight that you'll never see me again?" She asks softly.

"No…" I claim. Yes.

"Are you lying?"

"Maybe." Yes.

"Honestly, Tori… You'll have a hard time getting rid of me now. I'm like a boomerang." Cat jokes.

"I guess…" I mumble. I feel her touch my arm.

"Hey, I'll spend the rest of my days proving it to you, okay?" She says firmly. For some reason, that makes tears sting behind my eyes. Not going to cry, not going to cry…

I mean, even if I believed her completely, how do I know she can keep that promise? I still don't know why she left the first time. What if it happens again? She can't guarantee it won't when I don't even know what it is. What if she's in danger? What if she can't help it? I can't take it anymore. I know I promised, but…

"Cat."

"Yeah?"

"I know we had a deal for me not to ask… but I need to know something." I start slowly. I pause for a moment, as if to give her a window of opportunity to warn me not to continue. She stays silent and unmoving. I don't even think she's breathing. I take a deep breath. "Something… caused you to run away from your life. I'm not going to ask what that something was, but I need to know… is that something still a threat? Are you running _from s_omeone? Are you in danger?" I ask quickly. She pauses for a moment before silently turning on her back and letting out a sigh. I immediately start to panic that I've crossed the line. "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have asked. It's just… If there's danger out there, or someone wants to harm you, I need to know. I need to know so that I can protect you and- Geez, Cat, I'm sorry, I shouldn't-"

"Tori, it's okay." Cat finally says. "You're right, that is important information. I don't blame you for being worried. Don't worry though. I'm not in any danger. The reason I left my old life – it was by my accord and my accord only. No external sources drove me out. No one's after me. Nothing wants to harm me. That's not what I was running from."

"Promise?" I say quietly, and I know the sound of my threatening tears was showing in my voice. This causes her to turn back on her side to face me, even though her face was a dark silhouette with a light red halo outlining her from the light flooding in from the window.

"I would tell you if I was in danger, because that directly affects you. Anyone who was near me could get in the crossfire… I would want you to be careful, too. But… thank you for wanting to protect me." Cat sighs.

"I don't want to lose you again." I croak.

"I know. I don't want to lose you either." She murmurs soothingly. "Now please… no more questions about that, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, though. I feel better." I mean, I'm still curious as fuck but at least I know she's not going to get assassinated by the bad guys of her past.

"Good, I'm glad." She says, and I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Hey, Cat?"

"Mhm?"

"I think I might be able to trust you enough to let you leave in the morning."

She lets out a laugh at that. "Oh wonderful. I've been dying to leave this entire time." She jokes. I think.

"Really?" I pout, somewhat mockingly.

"No, silly. Catching up with you today has made me the happiest I've been in a long while." Cat giggles.

"I thought you were already happy." I comment.

"I am. Just… this is a different kind of happy, you know?" And she touches my arm again and that's when I finally recognize the feeling she's been giving me. The comfort. That's what I've been missing. She was always able to relax me and calm me down in the simplest of ways, and I lost that when I lost her. Oddly enough, I could only get that feeling anymore on rare occasions thanks to Mr. Purple.

Mr. Purple.

"Holy crap." I jump up quickly.

"Whoa, what?" Her voice comes in a breathy gasp, clearly surprised. I click on the desk light on my mini-dresser. I look at her with a large grin and she has a look of confusion on her face.

"I have a surprise for you." I state. She furrows her brow and her eyes search me.

"Okay, what?"

"Close your eyes." I instruct.

"Is this going to be creepy…?"

"No! Just close them, please?"

She lets out a giggle and shakes her head incredulously before shutting her eyes tight.

"Do I get a clue?" She asks.

"You didn't give me a clue when you took me to the pet shop!" I say, bending over the side of the bed.

"Did too." I hear her pout.

"Fine, then let's just say this will be very… nostalgic." I tease, reaching under my bed to find Cat's long-lost friend.

"Jerk." Cat huffs.

"Now, now." I chuckle, grasping the soft and fuzzy stuffed toy before righting myself up on the bed. "Would a jerk give you this? Open your eyes."

She does and her face immediately falls into a look of shock, her already big eyes bulging. "Oh. My. God."

"I believe you two have met. Mr. Purple, this is Cat Valentine. Cat Valentine, this is-"

"Mr. Purple!" Cat cries happily, throwing her hands up in the air as she sits up. I laugh and hand him over, and she quickly gathers the giraffe in her arms. "I don't believe it."

"I thought you'd like that." I grin.

"I do. I really, really do. Thank you, Tori. This means an incredible amount to me. I missed this guy." She murmurs, beaming at her toy. Again, even though she's twenty, she seems like a little girl holding her memento from the past. She looks at me, happy tears in her eyes. "Why do you have him?"

"I uh… stole him from your room. Something to remember you by. He kept me company a lot whenever I missed you, which was a lot. Now you're back, so… time for him to go to his rightful owner." I explain. She beams gratefully at me before burying her face in the soft fur.

"He smells like you." She mumbles.

"He used to smell like you. Guess I rubbed off on him." I chuckle.

"I like it." Cat breathes in. She looks up at me again. "Have I ever told you you're my favourite person ever?"

"Not that I recall." I smile.

"Well you are. You are and always will be. Right, Mr. Purple?" She asks the toy before using her hand to bend his neck in a nod. "See? He agrees."

"Thank you." I laugh. She snuggles back down into my bed and I turn the light switch off before joining her once again.

"No, thank _you_. For everything. You seriously are the best person ever." Cat sighs contentedly.

"So are you." I say, but I don't know if she hears it because I said it so quietly I could barely hear it myself. That's the last thing we say to each other before the tiredness starts to take over.

I don't know how much longer it's been, but eventually I'm jolted from near-unconsciousness by something that sounds like a snake. It takes me a moment to realize it's the sound of Cat shivering. It really has gotten cold in here.

Without hesitating, I gently pull her up against me and I rub up and down her bare shoulders and arms, trying to pass my body warmth. I feel her cuddle into me and her legs tangle with mine, and I continue to rub her freezing skin until I feel her stop shivering. She stays close to me, an arm slinking around my waist. Her breathing changes and I put my face in her hair, revelling in the comforting feeling before dozing off as well.

She smells like Mr. Purple.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Why do I type so many words? God. Anyway, this chapter was mostly dealing with cute friendship rekindling stuff... and something else? I don't know. Did anybody else sense a bit of sexual tension? Maybe a little? Oh dear. Either way, I hope you liked this chapter of Cat and Tori interacting again after so long, and I hope it didn't bore you too much. And hey! No cliffhanger! Proud of me?**

**So, Cat says she's not in any danger (anymore?) but who's to say she's telling the truth? Poor Tori. Poor you guys. You're going to be guessing for a while. But I think that's part of the fun... More things will be revealed as time goes on, more Cori fluff will happen, and more drama will also take place... Good times all around. So, if you like this chapter and want more, let me know in a review! Or tell me about your day! Let's be friends.**

**Fun Fact: I was writing this chapter just before Ariana Grande came to Toronto for her concert, and weird coincidences happened like her being slated for an interview on the Cash and Wylde show (she had to cancel because of plane problems) and then later her brother Frankie tweeted about shopping on Queen Street, which is where Nathan Phillips Square is located. I just know these things, I guess. **


	5. Fools

**Disclaimer: I almost owned Victorious... BUT ALLLLLLMOST. ALMOST IS NEVER ENOOOOUUGH.**

* * *

**January 30****th****, 2017**

Sometimes I miss the ivory keys of my piano back home in L.A. Okay, I miss them a lot of the time. The plastic keys of my electronic keyboard are nice – it's even pressure based unlike some. However, the keys of a real, string piano just have a certain character to them that I can feel through the piano when I play it. The way they put up a little restraint, as if you have to work for your music. And it's worth it. The sound a finely tuned string piano makes is like no other.

But I couldn't exactly have a huge piano shipped to Canada for me – shipping my car was already expensive enough. So, my keyboard will have to do. I still love it. I can make cool effects with it – harpsichord is my favourite. Or motorcycle. Right now, however, I am simply playing on the usual piano sound. I'm currently recording a song for my Splashface channel, finally. And lucky enough for me, my voice is very portable. There's a certain serenity and emotional release in singing, which is why singing is such a vital thing to me. I really get to be myself when I belt out a song, and I'm glad my fans over the internet get to experience that.

"_If you're worried that I might've changed,  
Left behind all of my foolish ways,  
You best be looking for somebody else,  
With a foolish heart_

_But, stand, still is all we did  
Love, like, ours is never fixed_

_I stuck around  
I did behave, saved you every time  
I was a fool for love  
I was a fool for love  
I was a fool_

_I was a fool_

_I was a fool_

_I was a fool_

_I was a fool for love_."

I finish the song with a contented sigh. That was a good take. I'll play it back later just to make sure, but I feel pretty confident about it. I walk around my keyboard to my laptop and turn the recording session off. I should really invest in a proper camera and microphone at some point. No matter, this cover will still be of better quality than all my videos before it. I had the harmonies recorded today professionally by Vik and Nicky. I look down at the memory stick that holds the recording I'm supposed to edit in later, and smile slightly. It went so well when I recorded those vocals, it only took the morning.

"Nice going, Vega. Nice to see you back on your game." Vik smiled, taking off his headphones and addressing me in the booth. "Why don't you take a five minute break?"

"Alright." I agreed, taking off my headphones and heading out of the recording booth.

"Here, lube your chords." Nicky called out, chucking a water bottle at my head which I barely caught.

"Ew, couldn't you just say 'have a drink of water'?" I asked in disgust.

"What would be the fun in that?" She laughed, taking a seat and spinning around.

"And can we not throw liquids in the room with very expensive recording equipment?" Vik grumbled.

"Is that a rule? Must've missed the memo." Nicky chuckled. "Hey kid, take a seat." She said to me. I sighed and complied, sitting in a seat next to them. "So, how you doing?"

"Her voice is doing better. That's a good sign." Vik muttered, checking some levels. "Ow!" He cried after Nicky slapped him on the back of the head.

"Unlike you, I'm less concerned about the voice and more about her running into oncoming traffic." Nicky scoffed before looking at me. "Any more of that since we last saw each other, T?"

"Nope, none of that." I smiled. "I'm doing a lot better, thanks."

"You still upset about your friend's disappearance?" Vik asked, and then let out another exasperated "ow" when Nicky bops him in the back of the head again.

"Way to be sensitive, man." Nicky glared.

"Uh, sorry, Tori. Didn't mean to butt in." Vik mumbled, rubbing the back of his head.

"No it's fine." I sighed. Part of me wanted to tell them of the crazy past two days I had – that I had reunited with said friend and spent the day and night with her yesterday. But unfortunately, Cat made me swear not to tell anybody about her reappearance, and I was going to stay true to my word. Plus, I know how crazy it sounds… and dramatic. "I've decided I can't stay caught up in the past and keep running into traffic. Time to move on with my life, like she'd want me to. Hakuna matata, y'know?"

"No worries." Nicky smiled. "Well that's good. Glad you've come to terms. But you know, if you're ever upset you can talk to us."

"She's right. We're not therapists, but we are your friends." Vik stated.

"Right, although I'd come to me before Vik." Nicky winked.

"Hey!" Vik scoffed. "Ah, she's right…"

"Exactly." Nicky beamed, and I let out a laugh.

"Thanks, you guys are awesome." I said. "By the way, I did meet someone else from my past this weekend… she's an old friend from L.A." Hey, it's not disclosing that she's the friend that disappeared, right?

"And she happened to show up in Toronto? What a fateful encounter." Vik pondered.

"You have no idea." I said incredulously. "So she wanted to come by one time to see me record. Think that'd be cool?"

"Sure. What's her name?" Nicky asked.

"Cat." Shit, I gave her real name. Maybe I should've said Stacy… Did I fuck up already?

"How feline." Vik joked.

"You tell her she's welcome here any time. Glad you're expanding your friend circle beyond us sorry sorts." Nicky said with a smile.

"Yes, because we're a complete bore to hang out with." Vik rolled his eyes. "So, shall we get back to recording?"

And we did, and now it's on this memory stick. Still, I have to finish all the filming first before I can go into editing. I still need to do the outro. I take a moment to fix my hair and then I stand a good distance from the camera after pressing record.

"Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed that. This was my first cover since living in Canada, so I decided to do 'I Was A Fool' by Tegan and Sara in honour of that. I hope you liked the harmonies that I recorded in a professional studio, and there's much more to come – not to give too much away, but I might be working on some original music? We'll see! If you'd like that or you liked the video please like, comment and subscribe and I'll love you forever. If you don't, that's okay, I'll still love you anyway. If you want to see some of my other videos, click the annotation. See you next time!"

That was a pretty good take, too. I'm on a roll today. I guess it's because I'm in such a good mood. Why wouldn't I be? I got my best friend back. Yes, it's not all sunshine and rainbows due to secrets and scandals and engagements but… just let me be happy for now, okay?

I look over to my bed and a small smile creases my face as my eyes land on the stuffed purple giraffe. Yes, he's still here. But Cat isn't. She left this morning. I had woken up just before my alarm, as I usually do. Cat was snuggled in my arms, her breathing relaxed and deep from her slumber. I laid there for a bit, revelling in the feel of her tangible presence. I was actually really, truly grateful in that moment that she had stayed the night. I think if I had woken up today, I would've doubted that yesterday even happened. But there she was, her face cradled by the crook of my neck, no longer shivering from the cold. Living proof that she was indeed back, that I woke up and it wasn't a dream. Plus, it was one of the best night's rests I've had in a long while. Maybe I just forgot how nice it was to have a warm body sidled up against me, or maybe it was just that comforting feeling she gave me that I realized I had been missing all this time. It was probably a mixture of both.

She made a tired, sleepy sound in her unconsciousness, and she seemed to nuzzle closer. This made me smile, and as much as I would've loved to stay there for a little while longer, the light flooding through my window told me it was time to get up. Slowly and carefully I started to untangle myself from her grasp without waking her. She murmured a few times, and one even sounded like my name, but I think I was successful because she was still soundly asleep by the time I got off my bed. I checked my phone and did an inner victory dance. Two minutes to my alarm. I love my inner clock.

I continued to quietly get ready for the day, looking over at Cat every so often. She was still hugging Mr. Purple, at least. I hoped he was still keeping her warm; it was a cold morning. I knew I'd have to go soon, but I didn't want to wake her up. She looked pretty peaceful. I thought about leaving a note telling her I had left and she could help herself to whatever for breakfast and stay until she wanted to leave. Would that have been rude? I mean… it's not like we slept together. Well we did, but… you know what I mean!

At one point, I grabbed an apple and took a bite into it. I guess that crunch was enough, because Cat began to stir. Easy to fall asleep and easily woken up. So much for the note idea.

"Mm… Tori?" Cat yawned. I quickly swallowed my bite of the apple and gave the sleepy redhead a smile.

"Morning, Cat. Sorry, didn't mean to wake you up." I said. She propped herself up a bit and rubbed her eyes.

"You didn't. I think I just… woke up." She mumbled, sitting up and letting the covers fall from her shoulders. Her eyes went wide and she quickly snatched them up again. "Holy crap it's cold!" She exclaimed. Well, now she was awake.

"Uh… here." I offered, tossing her the sweater I had been wearing during the night. I guess it still had my body warmth because she quickly pulled it on and looked satisfied.

"Thanks." She smiled.

"No problem. How'd you sleep?" I asked.

"Wonderfully." Cat sighed. I raised my eyebrow.

"Not too cramped?"

She shook her head. "Not at all. Thanks for holding me all night. It was nice… and toasty."

I blushed at that. I guess I thought she might've been sleeping the whole time and wasn't aware of our position. I didn't know why I suddenly felt weird about it, as if I somehow made her cheat on her fiancé. It was completely platonic, right? "You're welcome. I used to do that all the time, remember?" Right. Cat would always snuggle with me at night when we had sleepovers, and that wasn't weird…

"I remember." Cat smiled. She slipped herself out of bed and immediately shivered again at the cool air on her over-exposed legs. "Next time I stay here I'm wearing a onesie, I swear." She shuddered, digging for her clothes in her bag.

"Next time, huh?" I smirked. She looked up at me with a wad of clothes in her arms.

"Well yeah. This was fun. I'd do it again sometime, if you'll have me." Cat said. I wondered for a moment how long we'd be having sleepovers for. We're we still going to have sleepovers when she's married? When she has children? When we're forty and over?

I hope so.

"Yeah, my door is always open for you." I smiled. "Speaking of, you can help yourself to whatever… I need to go down to the studio but you can make yourself at home and leave when you want…" I reiterated my note idea.

"Thanks! But I'll probably just get dressed and go. I don't want to impose, and I should really see Barry off to work. He says I give him good luck." She smiled. Maybe I wanted some good luck…

"Okay. I still have some time so I can drive you." I offered, but her smile faltered at that.

"Uh… Tori. That's really nice of you, don't get me wrong, but… it snowed yesterday." Cat stated, as if that was a legitimate reason. I blinked at her, expecting her to continue.

"Yeah, and?" I goaded when she stayed silent. She rolled her eyes.

"So it melted, and the streets were wet. Then it was below freezing last night. The roads are going to be an ice rink, and you without snow tires! No, I'll take my chance with the cab drivers." She smirked, and I felt myself blush from my ignorance. "Seriously, who takes care of you?"

"Hey, don't blame me! New country, new rules. At least I got you now to tell me these things." I scoffed. "Go get dressed. I'll call you a cab."

"Thanks." She grinned, heading into my bathroom. I called a cab and there was one about two minutes away. Cat came out of the bathroom not long after, fully dressed in much warmer clothes. "And you should stay off the roads today too, okay? I know it's cold but until you have snow tires it's not safe to drive in conditions like this. I don't want to lose you to a side of a building." She lectured while packing up her things.

"Yes, ma'am." I sighed.

"Seriously, Tori." She gave me a firm look. I held up my hands defensively.

"Hey, okay! I promise." I stated. Her look softened and she gave me a big smile. I look out the window to see the cab drive up. "Your ride is here. I still have some things to get ready… can you find your way out yourself?"

"I think I can figure it out." She said. I nodded and went to the closet, getting out her coat. She gave me a small smile as I opened it for her, letting her put her arms through.

"Hey wait. What about Mr. Purple?" I asked, noticing he's still on the bed. Cat looked over with an almost look of longing, but then she shot me another smile.

"You can borrow him for a little longer. I don't know how to explain him to Barry – I don't think he'd get it. But I know you do. Just… let him keep you company some more when I'm not around. I'll need to come visit him some more, so let that remind you that you'll see me again. Okay?" Cat suggested, and I felt my heart flutter.

"Thanks, Cat, that's really sweet. I'll take good care of him." I said, opening the door for her.

"I know you will." She smiled, and then she stooped up to kiss me on the cheek, leaving a tingling sensation. "God, I love it when you call me Cat." She shook her head incredulously with a bright smile on her face, and then she left.

I think I stood there for a few minutes in the doorway absorbing everything for quite awhile, I was even almost late to the studio. But I made it, recorded, conquered… Hey, maybe Cat really is good luck.

Now I have Mr. Purple, who has become more than a memento of Cat's. Now, he is a promise. A promise of her return. I never thought this stuffed giraffe would ever mean as much to me as it did to Cat, but life is full of surprises. I'm such a child… but hey, why rush growing up?

I walk over to the bed and sit down, picking up the toy and placing it on my lap. The left bead making up the eye was a little looser than it probably used to be when first manufactured. Cat carried him around a lot, so obviously there would be some wear, but otherwise he was perfectly kept. Cat obviously took care of him, as did I. He was important to Cat and he's grown to be important to me. I don't even care that I keep calling him a "he" instead of an it. I smile slightly, thinking of my day with Cat yesterday. I know I said I didn't want to smother her, but… I really can't wait to see her again.

And someone's knocking on my door. If that's her I'm going to accuse her of mind-reading.

I get up off the bed and walk over to the door, silently wishing there was a peep-hole installed. I pulled the door open and let out a little smile of relief. It's not Cat, but it's definitely not an axe-murderer either.

"Hello, dear." She dainty old woman at my door says with a kind smile.

"Hi, Ms. Wilkinson. What brings you to my door today?" I ask cheerfully. Who's Ms. Wilkinson, you ask? Why, only the kindest, sweetest old lady on the planet. She's the reason I didn't pack up and leave this musty old building after the first night. She knocked on my door that night and I opened my door to her kind smile and a smorgasbord of food for me. I'm not exaggerating. I still have some casserole left in the freezer. All the brownies are gone, though. Oops. It didn't take me long to figure out her kind nature. She said I reminded her of her granddaughter working overseas so she always comes by randomly to chat with me. I guess she's lonely.

"Were you playing music just now?" She asks. I look back into my apartment for a moment, looking my keyboard set up. I look back at her apologetically.

"Yes, I'm sorry. Was it too loud?"

"No, no! Not at all, dear." She waves a hand dismissively. "Sometimes I hear music coming from your room when I walk into the hallway. At first I thought it was your radio! Now I know it was you. You're quite good." She smiles. Aww. Can I keep her?

"Thank you, that's really sweet of you." I say with a genuine smile.

"My late husband used to love music. Never stop making music, okay?" Ms. Wilkinson requests.

"Will do, Ms. Wilkinson." I state. "Sorry about your husband." I frown. Poor woman, she really must be lonely. She gets a far off look in her eye.

"Lost him two years ago. Sometimes it feels like he's never really gone, you know?" She sighs. Trust me, I know.

"I'm sure he's always with you." I grin. I mean, I'm not really religious but I like to think people you've lost stay with you in your hearts and memories. That's what I told myself a lot on days I was sure Cat was in fact dead…

So much for that idea.

"How are you doing today?" I continue.

"Fine, dear. I actually came here to talk to you about Cat." She says. I stare at her for a moment. Cat? How does she know Cat? Does she know about Cat's past? That would be a crazy coincidence.

"Oh, um…" I fumble. She gives me a questioning look.

"She's your friend, right? The red-haired girl?" She questions.

"Uh, yes…" I say in confusion. She flashes a smile.

"That's what she said. I saw her this morning. I went out for early morning grocery shopping – beat the crowds, you see. She was walking out just as I slipped on some ice." She explains.

"Oh my god, are you alright?" I gasp.

"Oh yes of course. She was right nearby so she steadied me pretty quickly. Unfortunately I dropped my bags but she didn't hesitate to help me pick them up. Such a nice girl. I wasn't surprised when she said she was a friend of yours." Ms. Wilkinson recalls thoughtfully. "Anyway, the cab almost left without her and in her rush, she dropped this." She holds out a small green card toward me. Cat's bank card. "The name says Stacy but I'm sure she dropped it. Could you give it to her next time you see her?"

"Oh, for sure. I'm sure she'll really appreciate it." I smile, taking the card. I'm actually really surprised she introduced herself as Cat instead of Stacy… Maybe she was still thinking about how much she liked it when I called her Cat and she didn't want to let the name go yet. That's a good sign.

"She's a pretty girl, too." She winks at me. What is she insinuating?

"Y-yeah." I stutter, blushing. She gives me a knowing smile.

"Is there anything I can do for you, dear? Are you keeping yourself fed?" She asks. I let out a laugh.

"Yes, Ms. Wilkinson. I'm fine. Thank you." I grin. She smiles, nodding.

"Okay dear. I'll talk to you later. I hope to hear more beautiful music from you soon." She says.

"You will. And thank you again for giving me Cat's card." I smile. She gives me another sweet goodbye and then shuffles off to her apartment. I close my door and immediately put Cat's card in my clutch for safe keeping. Now what? I should probably do something productive… like laundry…

Being an adult is hard.

I start gathering up clothes and I notice something off. Where was the sweater that I was wearing last night? I remember giving it to Cat, then… Did Cat take my sweater? It was probably an accident but if she meant to… I actually kind of hope she meant to. That's kind of cute if she did. I head over to my phone. I hadn't texted her yet today, but now is as good a time as any.

_Cat, how was your day off? _I ask. I go to put my phone down but it buzzes before I get the chance.

_Relaxing. Did your recording session go well? _She sends back.

_Yeah. I'll be working hard on editing all night, but I think you'll like the video that comes out. _I say.

_I can't wait. I've been watching the videos of yours I missed all day. _All day? There weren't that many… unless she watched them over and over again because she missed me. Maybe that's the reason she took the sweater… Oh, right.

_Haha I hope my vlogs entertained you… So I have a question. Do you have my sweater? _My text asks. There's a bit of a pause before the next text.

_Uh… Yes, I do. Apparently I put it in my bag without thinking. I'm so sorry, Tori! _

So it **was **an accident. Oh well. _No problem! Don't even worry about it. You can even keep it for a while if you want. _So you can wear that instead of cuddling up to your fiancé. Geez, I need to get this petty jealousy in check. _I do need to give you your bank card back, though. You dropped it when running into my neighbor this morning._

There's another pause before the next text. _Oh my god, I just checked. I didn't even notice. Thank you! Barry would've killed me… I lose that card a lot :( _

Kill her? This guy better not be abusive or I'm going to- Oh, she just sent another text. _Sorry, not kill me. You know what I mean. _She just knew I'd have a mini-freak out at that, didn't she?

_Well I can give it back to you tomorrow night. What song will you be singing?_

_As usual it'll be a surprise :) I think you'll like it, though! _

_I'm looking forward to it. I'll see you then. _I text with a smile. She sends me a heart back and I smile even wider, feeling butterflies of excitement stir in my stomach at the idea of seeing her.

You'd think I was meeting my crush tomorrow, or something.

* * *

**January 31****st****, 2017**

I posted the video today. I was up all night editing, and I didn't post it until I felt 100% satisfied with it. I even recorded a separate video of me syncing with the harmonies and then cropped that into the video. It's crazy how much pride I take into making sure every piece of content I upload on Splashface is good quality and pleasing for the viewer. I was working on some original content today in the studio with Nicky, and Vik was watching his laptop the entire time, showing his excitement.

"Guys, it just gained one-hundred more likes from when I last refreshed it!"

"Look at this comment… Your voice is like fruit parfait for ears."

"Oh my god, look at how many shares this has gotten."

"TEGAN AND SARA TWEETED IT no wait, it's a parody account. Sorry."

"Wow, this guy's a troll. **You don't know talent**!"

He gushed like that the entire day. Nicky was happy for me, but she was getting so frustrated because he was interrupting our song brainstorming session. Still, we got a lot of work done today, and now I get to go have dinner at officially my new favourite restaurant.

Oh, and Cat will be there too.

I walk into the diner doors and recognize Bev hosting right away, and she seems to recognize me immediately.

"Ah! Tori, right? Stacy said you'd be coming. She even made me reserve a table up by the stage." She winks.

"Thank you." I smile.

"C'mon." She waves me over and I follow her. "Just for one?"

"Yeah." I flush. I should stop looking so sad and alone in public. Bev nods and hands me a menu in front of the table.

"Enjoy your time here." She says with a big smile before heading back to the door. I'm about to sit down when –

"Tori!" I hear just before I'm tackled with a big Cat hug from the side. "You're here!"

"Yes, of course!" I laugh, stumbling a bit from the impact. "Hi C- Stacy." I quickly correct myself. She pulls back, giving me a big smile.

"Sorry. Hugging customers isn't very professional." Cat brushes down the front of her uniform, trying to look more dignified.

"I don't mind." I smile. She gives me a small smile back.

"It's still weird hearing you call me Stacy." She lowers her voice.

"Oh, that reminds me… I told my record company your real name… I'm sorry." I frown. She brightens up a bit at this.

"No, that's okay! Like I said…" She lowers her voice again, "It's just around people I know. But if it's your friends… that's fine." I guess that explains why she gave her real name to Ms. Wilkinson. "Well, sit down! I'll take your order before I go get ready to perform."

"Alright." I laugh, sitting at the table. She pulls out a small notepad and pen, giving me a cheerful look.

"Do you need some time to look at the menu first?" She asks. I shake my head.

"Nope. I think I'll get a strawberry milkshake and a… pewting?" I say slowly. She blinks at me.

"A pewting? … Oh! A poutine! Oh my god, Tori!" Cat starts laughing hysterically.

"Yeah, that." I blush, feeling embarrassed. But I smile in spite of myself. She grins at me and reaches out to twirl a strand of my hair between her fingers.

"You're still cute." She giggles.

"No flirting with the customers." Bev teases as she walks by, giving Cat a wink. Cat rolls her eyes and Bev shakes her head with a smile. "Almost show time. Better get in costume."

"Right, thanks." Cat agrees. Bev nods and walks away. Cat turns back to me. "I'll give your order to the kitchen and someone else will bring it out. I'll see you after the performance?"

"I'll wait here." I smile. "Break a leg, I know you'll blow everyone away." I state. She gives me a bright smile.

"Thanks. See ya!" She waves as she heads off to the direction of the kitchen. I watch her until she heads into the kitchen. Just before the door swings closed, she looks back at me and smirks when she sees me watching her. I smirk back, and then the door closes.

Aw, wait, damnit. I forgot to give her the debit card back… Oh well. Hopefully she won't need to purchase anything or take money out while she's performing on stage. And now I wait for my poutine… whatever that is. Oh my god, what did I order?!

"Well, look who we have here?" I hear a familiar voice from beside me. I glance over to see my saviour in this desperate food situation.

"Vik!" I gasp at his smiling face. His blonde partner in crime appears beside him.

"And Nicky, too." Nicky exclaims.

"What are you guys doing here?" I ask.

"After going here with you a few days ago we decided we didn't come here enough." Vik shrugs.

"Yeah, so we decided to catch the performance tonight. Are you here with someone?" Nicky inquires. I shake my head.

"Not really." I admit.

"May we join?" Vik asks. I smile brightly.

"Of course! Pull up a chair." I offer.

"Thank god. You have the best table in the place for performances. Right by the stage. Usually this one is _always _taken when we come here." Nicky huffs, taking a seat with Vik.

"What can I say? I have connections." I say with a smug look.

"Alright, don't get a swollen head, kid." Nicky scoffs, ruffling the hair on my head.

"So, I have a question…" I start.

"Yeah, what's that?" Vik asks suspiciously.

"What the hell is a poutine?" I whine. Vik and Nicky both blink at me.

"What, did you order one?" Vik questions. I hang my head in exasperation.

"Yes…" I grumble.

"And you didn't know what it was?" He continues his interrogation.

"Yes. All of that. What is it?" I goad. They both look at each other, and then they both lean back in their chairs, looking sheepish.

"It's a mystery." Vik starts.

"Canadians don't even really know." Nicky continues.

"Some say it's made out of puppies and eel heads." Vik adds.

"Or feces, hence the way it's pronounced." Nicky concludes. I stare at them, feeling sick.

"… Please tell me you're bullshitting me." I say in monotone. They give each other a serious look, and I feel even sicker to my stomach. Then, they burst out laughing.

"It's just french fries, gravy and cheese curds, Tori." Vik laughs.

"Oh man, you should've seen the look on your face." Nicky howls.

"You guys are _hilarious_. And that dish sounds _so _healthy." I huff, crossing my arms and pouting.

"Oh, it's an artery clog and a half but it's a Canadian favourite for a reason." Nicky states. And that's when it's dropped down in front of me.

"One poutine and a strawberry milkshake!" The waiter belts in a tune. "Have you two placed your order yet?" He asks Vik and Nicky. They place their order and I tentatively try the Canadian cuisine.

Unhealthy and delicious.

"So you like it?" Vik grins after the waiter leaves.

"Oh hell yes." I mumble, stuffing it into my face.

"So explain to me again why you ordered it without knowing what it was?" Nicky raises an eyebrow. I swallow my recent bite to answer.

"Remember how I met a friend from my past? She works here." I explain.

"Does she, now?" Vik asks, curious.

"Yeah, she told me to get it. She's actually the one performing-"

But I'm cut off by the regular diner music being cut off and the diner patrons quieting down. The spotlight flashes onto the stage and the curtain raises as my ears are met with a familiar sound.

"_Baaaa-aaa-aaa-byy."_

The strong, powerful note comes from the small redhead standing at the mic, holding up her hand and closing her eyes as she sustains the note. I recognize it almost immediately. As the note ends, her eyes pop open to meet mine, and she flashes a large smile.

"**That's** your friend?!" Vik whispers to me. I stare at Cat, smiling with pride. She takes the mic off the stand, sauntering forward as the music starts. She keeps her eyes locked on mine.

"_I'm a fool,  
Since I left you,  
Baby I'm a fool,  
Since I left you,  
Since I left you baby,  
I'm a fool._"

I definitely recognize the song. It's the same song she chose to audition for The Platinum Music Awards. I would know – I helped her choose it. I knew Cat had just as much chance, if not more of a chance of getting the spot than I did, but that didn't make me competitive towards her at all. I told her to sing this song so she could really show off the power of her voice, and if she got it, I would've been happy for her. I'm glad she didn't though – not because it means I did, but because I can't imagine how she would've handled Mason's manipulative ways. Plus, she was dealing with bibble addiction at the time.

"_I been down,  
All over town.  
Chasing my life,  
Thought I was after  
Running around,  
Know you've been down,  
In someone else's pasture,  
The grass looked green  
But now I see,  
Baby I'm a fool._"

"Man, that girl has a set of pipes." Vik gawks. I couldn't agree more, Vik.

"_Since you been gone,  
It's been so long,  
It seems like forever,  
Baby come on,  
Don't you know?  
We were so good!_"

"Damn, she won't take her eyes off you, T." Nicky notes.

"Hmm?" I mumble, too mesmerized by Cat's performance. "Oh, yeah. I guess." Actually, Nicky's right. Cat should be looking out over the entire audience but her eyes are burrowing into my soul. Maybe she's trying to tell me something.

I'm a fool since I left you.

She continues to sing until she gives an order, "Play it horns!" She declares, and the track starts playing the upbeat trumpet section. Cat finally tears her gaze from me as she dances around the stage, earning some hoots from the diners.

"_Since you been gone,  
It's been so long,  
It seems like forever,  
Baby come on,  
Don't you know?  
We were so __**gooooood**__!_"

All three of our jaws hit the table.

"Holy whistle tones." Vik gapes. "Hey Tori, can you do that?"

"S-sometimes." I stutter. Well I can, but that note she just hit seemed other-worldly.

We watch in shocked silence as Cat finishes her song. Boy am I ever glad I caught the whole song this time. The curtain drops and she meets my eyes one more time, and she clearly giggles at the look on my face as the audience erupts in applause. The lights come up over the diner and the usual juke-box music starts to play as the applause dies down. I'm still staring at the place Cat was standing a moment ago, and Vik turns to me.

"So…" He starts, "Is your friend single?"

"Vik." Nicky chastises, glaring. "You're a pig."

"I'm just asking!" Vik scoffs.

"No, she's not." I mumble.

"Oh. Oh well." Vik shrugs. The waiter comes by and drops off Vik and Nicky's order. They start to eat and I feel a light touch on my shoulder. I turn to meet the smiling face of Cat, back in her regular waitress outfit. That was fast.

"You've barely touched your poutine! Did you not like it, Tor?" She questions. I look down at my plate and then back at her.

"No, I did! I just got… distracted." I explain, gesturing to the stage with my head. Cat breaks into a wide grin.

"So you liked it?" She asks.

"You were incredible, as usual. You were always good at that song." I state.

"Well, I would've never found it without some help from a friend." She winks, and then she looks over me to Vik and Nicky, who are staring at her. "Um, hi! Are you friends of Tori's?"

"Oh! This is Vik and Nicky! My record producers." I say. Her eyes widen in realization and she gives them a friendly smile, extending her arm.

"It's nice to meet both of you." She says.

"Like-wise." Nicky nods, shaking Cat's hand. Vik reaches out and shakes Cat's hand as well.

"You were very impressive. Ever thought of having a record deal?" Vik asks.

"Vik." Nicky huffs, rolling her eyes.

"Trying to replace me already, huh?" I raise my eyebrow. Vik releases Cat's hand and hold up his hands in defence.

"No, not at all! Just… more clients, the better, right?" He fumbles awkwardly. He seems to brush himself off, turning to Cat again. "What do you say?"

Cat shifts a bit, eyes finding the floor. "Um, I'm flattered but I'm really a 'sing on the sidelines' kind of person. A job like this is all I need." Cat says.

"Alright, suit yourself." Vik sighs, getting back to his food. "Oh, and Tori invited you to the studio, right? You're welcome any time!"

"Agreed." Nicky says through a mouthful of pasta.

"Thanks, that's really nice." Cat smiles. She touches my shoulder lightly again. "I have to get back to work before Bev gets mad. She's scary when she's mad. If you want, you can wait until after my shift… It'll only be another hour…"

"Sure, Cat. I'll be here." I assure her. She gives me a bright smile, squeezing my shoulder gratefully. She didn't seem to mind me calling her Cat here, but that's how Vik and Nicky know her and I don't want to explain why I'm suddenly calling her Stacy. Maybe she understands that. She heads off to do her job, and I turn to Nicky staring at me, giving a questioning look. "What?" I ask her.

Her mouth slowly turns up slowly into a smirk, and then she shakes her head. "Nothing. You two just seem really close even though you just reunited a few days ago." She states.

"Oh. Yeah. Well we were close back in high school. I guess nothing's changed." I shrug. Nicky clicks her tongue.

"Ah, I see. So you used to stare at her ass like that whenever she walked away in high school, too?" Nicky smirks. I feel heat raise in my cheeks as Vik sputters on his diet coke.

"I… Uh… I…" I stammer, embarrassed. How do I respond to that? Was I staring at her ass? No… Was I? The waitress outfit does kind of define it… oh my god!

"Damnit, Nicky. Now who's being the pig?" Vik chokes, wiping the front of his shirt with a napkin. Nicky gives a shrug.

"I'm just being observant. I'll drop it… for now." Nicky grins, and I look away in embarrassment.

She did drop it, though. We continued our meal casually, talking about the "I Was A Fool" video, and how we might step it up. Vik even teased the idea of creating a legitimate music video, if we could find a director with a good vision within our budget. Every so often I'd look over to see Cat carrying a tray of food or taking someone's order, and sometimes she would glance over and smile at me before moving onto the next table/kitchen/wherever. I was keeping an eye on a table nearby me, as well. They were a table of three, middle aged men who seemed a bit lower class and they kept staring at Cat and raising their eyebrows at each other while making obscene gestures. Oh, was I ever keeping an eye on them.

"Hey, Tor?" Vik says, waving a hand in front of my face. "Earth to Vega!"

"What? S-sorry." I shake my head. "What were you saying?"

"I was saying they don't have to be professional. I mean the video would be put on Splashface anyway, so it just has to be someone good with a camera who wants to flex a creative muscle. Maybe a student who would want to add it to a portfolio. There are a _ton _of universities and colleges in Toronto. We can start there." Vik suggests.

"Yeah, that sounds great." I agree.

"Ooh, can I make fliers? Then we can post them around the campuses." Nicky offers.

"Fliers. Done." Vik nods.

"I want to make sure this person is someone we can rely on, though…" I ponder.

"We'll conduct interviews!" Vik exclaims. "Like an audition process."

"Hopefully we get people." Nicky sighs.

"What's in the budget? I want them to get some money out of this." I state.

"Of course. I'll do some number crunching tonight and I'll let you know tomorrow. This is exciting. I'm pumped." Vik grins, and I can't help but grin, too. Nicky gives me a poke.

"We'll need some original music, first. That'll be our first priority." She winks.

"Deal." I laugh. Then I hear a voice over behind me.

"Hey, sweet thing." A gruff voice growls. I turn to see Cat passing by the table of the creepy men. She gives them a polite smile as she walks by but she looks annoyed once she passes.

"Hey!" Another one calls out to her. "Where you going? Bring that pretty little tush over here. We want to talk to ya!"

Cat stops in her tracks and closes her eyes, biting her lip, before slapping on a fake smile and turning back to the table. "Hello! Can I help you?" She asks sweetly.

"We just wanted to tell you what a great job you did up on that stage there." A man says.

"Yeah, Jim, don't she have a mouth on her?" Another chimes in.

"Imagine what that could do in the bedroom!" The third one says, and they all let out laughter. My blood boils as Cat lets out nervous laughter.

"Ha ha… Thank you so much. Did you want a re-fill on your drinks, or…?" Cat starts to ask.

"How 'bout you join us for a bit, honey?" One asks, tapping the empty seat beside him.

"Yeah! We won't bite… too hard." Another winks.

"I'm more of a squeezer myself." One of them says. He looks Cat up and down. "I bet you are, too, eh?"

"Um, if you don't need anything, I really need to get back to work." Cat mumbles stepping away.

"But I _do _need something." The gruff man says. Cat waits for a moment and the man licks his lips. "You. You set my heart aflame with your voice. I think I'm in love, boys. Hey honey, you got yourself anyone?"

"She sure do, Paul. Look at that rock on her finger, there!" Another says.

"Aw, such a shame you're missing out on my buddy Paul." The other chimes in. The one named Paul licks his lips again.

"You should forget about this guy, honey. I could show you a real good time." He states, making another obscene gesture. Seriously, how old are these guys?! Cat shifts a bit.

"Sorry, I really need to get back to work." She states before walking away, but one of the men quickly grasps her hand roughly, and I stand up.

"Tori!" Vik warns.

"No, this isn't right." I growl.

"C'mon, honey, we was just kidding." The man holding her says.

"Yeah! We just think you're so beautiful." Another states.

"And I'm sure delicious." The guy holding her arm licks his lips. By now I've stormed over and slapped my hand on his arm.

"Well she's not on the menu." I glower. The man looks surprised and lets go of Cat, who pulls away quickly.

"Whoa, who's this other pretty girl?" A guy says.

"Man she seems to have some _spice _to her." Paul hoots.

"**No. **We're not yours to ogle like a… like a piece of meat." I snap. I feel Cat gently touch my side but I ignore it.

"Hold on, girl! We was just being polite. We thought you girls liked being called pretty." A man scoffs.

"We like being treated with **respect**, thanks. Not preyed on by dirty old men." I growl.

"Ouch. This girl ain't spicy. She's just bitter." Paul grumbles.

"Well I'm _so sorry _I couldn't be submissive for you. Life doesn't work that way. Now if you'd kindly back off of me and my friend, I won't have to show you just how bitter I can be." I warn.

"Shit, whatever." One of them mumbles. They turn back to their food and I feel Cat move close, leaning up to my ear.

"Can I talk to you?" She whispers. I turn to her and she has an unreadable look on her face. I give a nod and she takes my hand, pulling me swiftly through the diner until we reach the washroom. Once we enter the swinging doors she quickly checks the bottom of the stalls. Once she seems satisfied she turns to me and I let out a sigh.

"Sorry I lost my cool, I just couldn't stand seeing them handle you like that – I had to say something-" She cuts off my apology with a raised hand and a shake of her head.

"Don't apologize for sticking up for me. No one has done that for me here, before." Cat sighs, taking a step toward me.

"Does that happen a lot?" I frown. She frowns, too.

"More than I would like, but no. It doesn't happen all that often." She assures me, stepping even closer. She takes my hands in hers and gives me a seriously look. "What you did was really sweet and brave and I appreciate it immensely… But you can't do that again."

"What? Why? Cat, if I see someone harassing you like that I can't just stand by and let them-"

"I know. You're such a caring, protective person. You always have been. I don't blame you for jumping up to my aid. But, it's complicated…" She trails off, biting her lip. She looks to the side for a moment before meeting my eyes again. "It's one of those 'business' things, you know? The customer is always right? We were taught in training to just kind of grin and bear comments like that. Service with a smile." Cat explains.

"But… that's not fair. You don't deserve to be treated like a… commodity." I argue. "Can't you tell Bev or something?"

"She says if we feel in danger then yes, but for the most part they're harmless. Those three men were probably lonely. I saw their hands – no rings. Probably single or divorced." She notes.

"I wonder why…" I grumble. She lets out a short giggle before going back to being serious.

"The point is, yes it's upsetting but like I said, it doesn't happen all that often. We have a reputation to uphold and word of mouth is very powerful. If those men complain I could get in big trouble, and then I'd be out of a job. Or they'd tell potential customers about being reamed out during a meal and we lose customers to the point of needing to shut down the place. And then I'm out of a job." Cat states. "It sucks. It's not pleasant. But it's part of the job… plus, the nicer we are about it, the more tips we get. The tips here are divided evenly amongst the staff, so I like to help out any way I can. Some of them are struggling to get through school or rent, or have a family to support, you know?"

"It still doesn't seem right. He grabbed you." I frown.

"Yeah, and his hands were sweaty." She wrinkles her nose. "But I swear, they're mostly harmless. I've never had a problem outside of the restaurant."

"But how do you know it can't progress beyond there? Believe me, I know how easy it is to wait for you in the back ally." I state, making Cat smile a bit. I pull my hands from hers and rest them on her shoulders. "I'd hate for something to happen to you. Can't Barry pick you up from work?"

"A lot of the time I'm working very late and he's dead tired from his job. I couldn't ask him to do that." Cat mumbles.

"He's your fiancé! You're supposed to do things for each other, especially when your safety is involved!" I scoff. Cat presses her lips together and looks away from me, and I let out a sigh. "I'll pick you up." This causes her to look at me again.

"What? Tori, no-"

"My hours are very flexible so my nights are pretty free. And I'm not too tired. Come on, Cat, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night thinking of the pigs here possibly prowling on you." I claim.

"Tori, that's really nice of you, but you seriously don't have to. I know I'm small but I can take care of myself and-"

"_Please_, please. I've already seen you be kidnapped once. Don't let me go through that for real. Please." My lip trembles. Her face drops, guilt filling her features.

"…Okay." She agrees. "But… just the late shifts. You don't have to pick me up from every shift, like the ones during the day."

"Fair." I nod.

"And," She holds up a finger. "You can't wait for me in the ally. Wait in the car. If you didn't notice, those dirty old men seemed pretty interested in you, too." Cat winks.

"Hey, I'm not the one dancing on stage in the revealing outfit." I roll my eyes.

"Yeah." She giggles, placing her hands on my waist. "But you got enough going on for you."

We smile at each other, and I feel my stomach twist at our intimate position. Her face falls a bit, and she leans in, her eyelids fluttering… so close…

I feel frozen, her face getting closer. I can feel her warm breath against my cheek, her lips parted slightly as they approach mine… What's happening?

At the last second she swoops around and rests her head on my shoulder, pulling me close into a hug. I let out a breath of relief as I wrap my arms around her neck. Things almost got really confusing/complicated.

"Stacy! There you are!" An angry voice comes from the bathroom door behind me. Cat shifts her head to look over my shoulder, not letting go of our embrace.

"Bev! Sorry, we were just-"

"I don't want to hear it. There are _paying customers_ needing food and you're putting a lot of pressure on the rest of the staff. You can have a little snuggle fest **after **your shift." Bev snaps.

"We weren't-"

"**I don't want to hear it.**" And then the bathroom door slams. Cat lets out a sigh, then she snuggles her head into my neck despite her boss' orders.

"Sorry I got you in trouble." I mumble.

"It's okay. I had to clear everything up with you." She murmurs, finally pulling away and giving me a smile. "We all good?"

"Absolutely." I nod.

"You won't come to my rescue every time I'm the victim of an average creepy customer?"

"No promises." I smile. She laughs, shaking her head.

"Fine. So you'll drive me home after my shift?" Cat inquires.

"Yep."

"Thanks… I'll figure out a way to repay you." She says, turning to the bathroom door.

"Cat, wait." I say. She turns, looking confused. I pull out my wallet and the green TD card embroidered with Stacy Robins. I hold it out to her and she grins, taking it gratefully. She looks at it for a moment, then back at me.

"You know, I'm glad you're here to look out for me again." She states before heading back into the dining area.

* * *

**Author's Notes: "I'm A Fool" by Kelly King is actually a pretty good jam. Did you know Kelly King is the one who taught Ariana Grande how to whistle tone? It's true. You can thank Kelly for those high notes in "The Way". Of course, I couldn't really find lyrics for the song so I listened to it over and over again and guessed... Oh well. "I Was A Fool" by Tegan and Sara is also a great (but different) song. See the connection I made there? Both singing about fools? Ahh, the little details. **

**Anywho, Cat and Tori seem to be showing a lot of concern for each other. Plus, that's the... second time they've almost kissed since reuniting. I have to say, I almost made them complete the kiss - but that would have ruined what I have planned for later. Don't worry. It'll happen at some point... Next chapter, Tori meets Barry, as do all of you. I know there's a LOT of speculation about him going on, so you all must be curious! Review and et me know what you thought of this chapter... Even though Cat and Tori aren't dating, I hope I'm keeping up their cori cuteness. **

**Fun Fact: Cat's bank is TD, but I'm part of Scotiabank (Bank of Nova Scotia). I like it because when you use your debit/visa, you can wrack up points for free movies. DO YOU HAVE THAT, TD? HUH? No. **


	6. Show Up and Show Off

**Disclaimer: ****It's 5:30am and I decided to post this early. I should own something for this great deal of commitment but I don't. I'll just own bags under my eyes tomorrow (more pronounced). So yeah. No Victorious.**

* * *

**February 2****nd****, 2017**

"So… what's the deal with you and Cat?" Nicky asks. I roll my eyes.

"That topic has nothing to do with song writing." I mutter. She lets out a huff.

"Fine… so you want the song to be upbeat, right?"

"Yep… I don't know. Something empowering for my viewers. They're always sending me messages about the struggles they're going through. It breaks my heart. I want to give them something to listen to. Something fun yet a good message." I reason.

"You can't solve all their problems with one song, Tor." Vik says, shouting from the desk at the front of the recording studio to reach me and Nicky in the sound booth.

"I know that." I say, calling back.

"Why don't you focus on one thing? What's pretty much universal?" Nicky ponders, tapping her chin with her pen.

"Um… bullying…" I suggest hesitantly.

"That's way too cliché." Vik states, appearing in the doorway. "No offence, I agree it's a huge issue but we don't want to go all Family Channel with this."

"Family Channel?" I inquire.

"Canadian Dingo Channel." Nicky explains.

"Oh. Yeah I guess." I shrug.

"Instead of a 'stand up to bullying' message, why not write a 'stand up for yourself' message?" Vik suggests. Nicky points at Vik with her pen in agreement.

"He's got a point. Confidence issues are pretty universal. And sometimes your worst bully is yourself." Nicky philosophizes.

"Man, that was deep." I tease.

"Somebody's been reading their father's Buddhist writings." Vik grins.

"Shut up. I can be smart." Nicky rolls her eyes. "So what do you think? Self-love song? I think that's important and we can do it in a non-cliché way."

"Yeah, and it needs to be catchy." I mumble, thinking.

"So seriously, do you and Cat have history, or…?" Nicky starts again. I let out frustrated huff.

"I thought you said you were going to drop it." I grumble.

"Well, I'm picking it up again." She grins.

"You'll have to excuse Nicky. She loves her soaps." Vik explains. Nicky glares at him again.

"Shut up! I just think it's interesting. The way they met randomly in a different country… the way she looked at T during the performance… the way T stood up for her…" Nicky sighs.

"Why are you talking like I'm not here?" I huff.

"Stop trying to make a lesbian love story out of our client's life, please." Vik says.

"Wow, way to be close minded, Vik. Maybe T really is a lesbian and you just hurt her feelings?" Nicky chastises.

"I didn't mean it that way, I just mean you shouldn't but into her business. If Tori wants to be lesbian for her old friend-"

"Seriously, guys, I'm _right _here." I snap.

"- Then that's her deal. She doesn't need to talk about it." Vik finishes.

"You're no fun. Can you blame me if I'm interested in T's love life? I'm being a considerate friend!" Nicky scoffs.

"You're being nosy and you don't even know if there's a love life there, you're just going off of a few shared glances and a protective rant against some pervs. That could be between any friends, it doesn't mean it's romantic." Vik states.

"She kissed me." I blurt out. Both Vik and Nicky's jaws drop at me. Why'd I say that?!

"Ha! Told you!" Nicky gloats. She looks at me with curiosity. "Spill." She demands. I look to Vik for help, but he's giving me the same curious look. Sigh. Well, I dug my own grave…

"It was back in high school… nothing ever came out of it." I explain.

"Did you like it?" Nicky asks.

"Nicky!" I roll my eyes.

"Did you?" Vik gapes. Damnit, we lost Vik.

I hang my head, letting out a sigh. "Yes."

"_Damn _this is juicer than I thought! What kind of kiss? Was there tongue?" Nicky bounces like a pre-teen. Why do I feel like the oldest in the room?

"What? No! It was just a… nice kiss. It was gentle and… comforting." I recall fondly. I'm sure I have a goofy look on my face because Nicky gives me a sheepish look.

"So… if you liked it, and she kissed you… why didn't anything come out of it?" Nicky asks.

"I don't know… We kind of… lost touch after that." I explain vaguely.

"Why?" Vik questions. I let out a breath.

"I guess we were confused about things. We were younger and still figuring out things about ourselves." I leave out the part where she faked her death.

"Yeah but… what about now?" Nicky asks. "Now that you're both older and in touch again."

"Do you like her?" Vik asks.

"I don't know… I guess I'm still trying to figure things out." I sigh.

"But you have to have some kind of better understanding. You have to know if you have feelings for her now." Nicky states. I think for a moment. If I'm really truthful with myself…

"Yeah… I have a crush on her." I admit. "But I don't know if that's just left over from high school or what. It's been less than a week. I have to judge a lot of things still." A lot.

"Fair enough." Vik nods.

"Have you talked to her about the kiss?" Nicky asks. I shake my head.

"No."

"Well why not?" Nicky pouts.

"I don't know. Hi, how are you, I haven't seen you in a while. Remember that time our lips touched? What does that mean to you now?" I role-play the chat out loud. "That seems a little awkward. Besides… it's in the past and I don't think it'd make a difference now anyway. I'll never be with her like that, now." I sigh, getting a little cynical.

"Don't say that, T. You're a catch! She liked you before, she could like you again! The way she looked at you at The Larksong, I'd believe it!" Nicky grins.

"Hey, didn't you tell us she was taken?" Vik pipes up. I nod solemnly.

"Yeah. She's engaged." I reveal. Nicky's face falls.

"Oh." She mumbles.

"Yeah." I sigh.

"Oh well! You still have a shot!" Nicky states, brightening up again. I gape at her.

"Nicky! That's pretty whack, even for you. Tori can't go stealing another person's girl. It's just not right." Vik scolds.

"But Vik! She likes her! Don't you want our little T to be happy?" Nicky pouts. Vik lets out a sigh.

"Of course I do." He mutters, turning to me. "Look, Tori, I'm sorry she's engaged, but you missed your window." Vik explains. Missed my window? She **made **me miss my window. If she had stayed a few more days… maybe we could've been something. But we never got the chance, and now I'll never know what it would've been like to call Cat my girlfriend. Now, she's just a friend. "On the bright side, heartbreak is great song writing material."

"Yeah. Great." I mumble. Now they've made me all depressed. Vik claps me on the shoulder and heads back to the front desk. Nicky leans in close to me.

"So, what are you going to do?" She asks in a whisper.

"About what?"

"About winning Cat back!" She exclaims.

"Nothing!" I glare. "I'm just going to wait for these feelings to pass, I guess."

"Yes, because that always works." Nicky rolls her eyes. "Listen, you think about that kiss a lot, right?" She doesn't even give me a chance to answer. "So eventually it's going to be brought up. Maybe she thinks about it too. Maybe there's still a chance." She states. Well, there have been a couple close calls kiss-wise, unless it was just my imagination… "Personally, I'm pulling for ya."

"Uh… thanks…" I mumble. Maybe she's right, but… I don't know. I don't want to be a home wrecker. Cat's happy with Barry, so I should be happy for her, right? "And don't you _dare _drop any hints when she comes to visit the studio on Monday, I swear." I warn. Nicky bats her eyelashes innocently.

"Moi? Wouldn't dream of it!" She states.

Oh boy.

* * *

**February 6****th****, 2017**

"I love your knack for finding cozy places." Cat states, looking around The Singing Falcon after we entered it Monday morning.

"Thanks. It's a talent I picked up since I moved to a new place where I had no idea what I was doing and a Splashface income…" I sigh. Cat giggles at my joke.

"Are Vik and Nicky here?" She asks. I furrow my brow, looking around.

"I… don't see them… That's weird. The door was unlocked… They should be here." I ponder.

"Maybe they stepped out for a bit?" Cat suggests, and I shrug.

"Maybe… Anyway, make yourself at home." I say.

"Kay kay." Cat agrees, and I smile at her old phrase. She takes off her coat and hangs it on the rack, then Elton John starts playing on the overhead speakers in the studio.

"_And caaaan you feeeeel the love toooniight?  
It is where we are  
It's enough, for this wide-eyed wanderer  
That we got this far  
And caaaan you feeeeel the love toooniight?  
How it's laid to rest…_"

What the fuck.

"Um… Is that your alarm or something? Because you know… that'd be pretty cool." Cat says in confusion. I grind my teeth slightly as I see a bit of curly blonde hair bob in the window of the sound booth.

"Nicky!" I growl. Her head pops up, a sheepish grin on her face.

"Oh. Hi! Sorry about that. I must've slipped on the button. That's embarrassing. Let me just turn that off…" Nicky states as she pushes another button. I'm still glaring at her when she walks out of the sound booth. "How's it going, Tori? You look a little red." She grins.

"It's from the cold." I mutter. She lets out a laugh and looks over at Cat.

"Nice to see you again. Ready to see T in action?" Nicky asks her.

"Yes! I'm so excited." Cat grins.

"I'm sure you are." Nicky winks, and I roll my eyes.

"Where's Vik?" I ask.

"He went for a Timmies run." Nicky states.

"Timmies?" I inquire.

"Tim Hortons." Cat answers, giggling.

"Ohh." I nod slowly. Nicky cracks her knuckles, turning her head to make a few popping sounds out of that as well.

"Well, while we wait for Vik, why don't we show Cat the works?" Nicky suggests. I give a nod.

"Sounds great to me." I agree.

"Wow." Cat gapes when she looks at the soundboard. "I mean… I remember the sound studio they had at Hollywood Arts… but it was nothing as intricate as _this_."

"We have a more intricate sound board than a prestigious performing arts school? Sweet!" Nicky exclaims. "Uh, I mean. Of course we do. So, here's how this works…"

Nicky knows her way around the soundboard way better than I do, so I let her do most of the explaining. Eventually she has me going into the booth. She puts on different effects as I sing, and I have Cat practically rolling on the floor laughing, and I'm laughing pretty hard too.

"Geez, I leave for half an hour and this place turns into a zoo." Vik shakes his head, standing in the doorway of the sound booth with three cups from Tim Hortons.

"Ah, there you are! What took you so long?" Nicky asks, bounding up to him. I take off my headphones and head out of the recording booth.

"You know those Tim Hortons lines on a Monday morning." Vik sighs, pulling a cup out of its cardboard holder. "One milk, three sugars for Nicky."

"Yess!" Nicky cheers, taking the cup from him.

"A double-double for me…" Vik places his coffee cup on the table beside him. "And," He pauses, taking out the last cup and holding it out, "Cat, Tori told me you'd want this."

"Hm? You got me something?" Cat asks. She walks over and takes it in her hands, stooping down to waft the smell. "Mmm… Candycane hot chocolate!" Cat grins. "Thank you so much."

"Don't thank me, thank Tori." He smiles. Cat looks over to me with a grateful smile and I smile back, nudging her gently as I walk by her.

"What'd you get me?" I ask Vik.

"You," He turns around, grabbing something from around the corner. He pulls it back, revealing the curved plastic bottle of clear liquid. "Get the usual bottle of water." He states, tossing it over. I catch it, frowning.

"Oh. Gee whizz, how exciting." I sigh.

"Hey, hot drinks are bad for the vocal folds." Vik states.

"Don't listen to him. He read that off Pintrest." Nicky drawls, sipping her coffee.

"Yeah, what about tea?" Cat asks. Vik falters.

"I… uh… just drink your water!" He huffs, sitting down at the booth. Cat giggles, leaning close to me.

"I think a bit of warmth really opens up the vocal chords. Here. Have a sip." Cat urges me in a whisper.

"Aw, but that's your drink." I say.

"Please? For me?" She pouts.

"Yeah, kid! Do it for your girl!" Nicky goads. I glare at her, but then turn with a smile to Cat. She tips the cup up for me, giggling, and I have a sip.

"Wow, that is sweet." I smack my lips together.

"But…?" Cat inquires.

"_But _it's really good. Maybe I'll order that next time." I grin. Cat grins back.

"Okay, Tori, time for you and Nicky to work on making some magic." Vik claps his hands together. Cat gives me a questioning look.

"Oh. We're trying to write an original song." I explain to her. Cat's eyes brighten up.

"No way! Can I help?"

"Sure thing sweetie-pie." Nicky grins, wheeling over to another section of the sound board. "So, here is what I like to call the 'DJ station'. We have thousands of mixed sounds and beats to deal with."

"We can't really write the lyrics without a sound yet, so that's what we're aiming for. It's going to be a song about having confidence and being outgoing and loving yourself, basically. So we want the music to reflect that." I explain. Cat nods slowly.

"Okay…" She says.

"Yeah, so we want a song about getting down with your bad self." Nicky winks. "Here's what we have so far."

She presses a button and the sound we had been working on comes flooding from the speakers. Cat bobs her head to it until it ends. She looks over at me.

"I like it. It's got a good beat. What part of the song is that?" She asks.

"I think probably the chorus." I ponder. She nods.

"I don't know too much about song writing…" Cat shifts slightly.

"That's okay. Recording artists can have this tendency to like whatever they create, just because they made it, when in reality it's not that good. So, you can listen to it and tell T if she's crazy for not." Nicky states.

"And please be honest with me." I plead.

"I promise." Cat nods. And she is. We spend a few hours trying out new things, and I could be so pumped about something but Cat would point out how it wouldn't work with the attaching verse or something, or a specific sound wouldn't work with a beat I was trying. She was actually very helpful. I need to bring her around more often.

"Okay, that should be good for now." Nicky states.

"Really?" Cat asks.

"We've been at it for a few hours. Sometimes you got to incubate for a while. The last thing you want to do is get sick of your own song." Nicky explains.

"Ah, I see." Cat nods.

"Sounds great, guys." Vik mumbles, not looking from his laptop.

"You were a lot of help. What were you doing over there?" Nicky scoffs.

"For your information, I'm looking up possible gigs for Tori. She needs to start making a name for herself on the live front, not just Splashface." Vik explains.

"But I don't even have original music yet." I sigh.

"Look, this might not be L.A, but the competition is still pretty fierce here. If we want you to perform once you have stuff written, we've got to book you **now**." Vik states.

"Oh, okay. Cool. How's that going?" I ask.

"I'm working on it. Don't worry, we'll get you off the ground." Vik assures me. Nicky throws an arm around me.

"Yeah, kid, the good thing about you being our only client is that we got all of our focus on you." She grins.

"Thanks, guys." I laugh. Cat gives me a prideful smile.

"Okay, we'll call it a day. Rest your voice, and all that." Vik says.

"Alright, thanks guys. I'll see you tomorrow." I say, walking out of the sound booth.

"Bright and early!" Vik calls after me. Cat and I grab our coats and head into the frigid outdoors.

"I really like them." Cat says.

"Me too." I grin.

"They really seem to want to help you, and they're not in it for the money – I can tell. They just want to make music. I think that's great. You'll go far with them." She continues.

"Yeah, I guess…" I sigh. She gives me a questioning look.

"You're a little _too _enthusiastic there, Tori." Cat says sarcastically. I let out another sigh.

"Sorry, it's just… I still feel a little disheartened by all the failures and setbacks I've have over the years. Meanwhile, all of our friends are doing what they love right out of high school. It makes me wonder… maybe I'm not cut out for this. Maybe I'm not **meant **to be a pop star." I turn my head to the overcast sky, thinking. "Sorry, I don't mean to unload-"

"Victoria Vega, you take all of that back right now." Cat snaps. I turn my head to look at her in surprise, and see her face turned into a scowl. "You're **meant **to be whatever you set your mind to."

I blink at her. "But-"

"_No buts!_ Tori, I know it's been hard for you to break into the industry, but you're on your way now!" Cat states.

"I thought you said no buts." I smirk. She responds by firmly placing her finger to my lips. I give her an incredulous look.

"I don't want to hear you questioning yourself anymore. You've got the talent, you've got the charisma, you've got the perseverance... everything you need to make it in this business." Cat says firmly. I shake off her finger.

"And if I do?" I ask quietly. "Can I really pull it off? Can I handle it? I don't know, Cat. It scares me." I mumble. This is the first time I've told these fears to anyone. She gingerly takes my hand in hers, calmingly running her thumb over my skin.

"Tori… There's a reason you were always the leads of our musical numbers and plays at school. You have what it takes." Cat whispers. I look away, not meeting her eyes.

"That was high school. International fame, like what Andre has? That's… that's a whole other level." I sigh. Cat's silent for a moment, then I feel a forceful tug on my hand, propelling me forward. "Whoa, where are we going?" I gasp, and Cat looks over her shoulder at me.

"Time for some… inspiration." She smirks.

* * *

"Come on, Tori. You can't write a song if you don't experience the message for yourself." Cat urges.

"But… but… people are watching." I bite my lip.

"That's the point! Come on, Tor. Do it." Cat smiles.

"Why near the produce aisle, though?" I sigh.

"Because I like the smell." She shrugs. "Now _dance_. Remember… confidence… upbeat… self-love…"

"Yeah, yeah…" I mutter. How did she talk me into this?

I look around and Cat raises an eyebrow at me expectantly. And then Andre's song comes on overhead. Damnit. Cat breaks into a wide grin. "Okay, now you _have to_." She states. I let out a huff, and start bobbing to the beat a little bit. Cat gives me a frown. "Really, Tori? This song has a jazzy beat. You should be tearing up the floor."

"Why don't you, then?" I snap. She gets a sheepish grin and I feel the colour drain from my face. Oh no.

"Well if you insist…" She says, and then she bounds over and takes my hands in hers. And now she's spinning me. Geez, I forgot how demanding Cat could be.

"Ca-aa-aat!" I groan. She shakes my arms a little, letting out a laugh.

"Just let go, Tori! I know you can. You used to be able to!" She giggles, shifting our arms in this energetic dance she's leading me on.

"But… but…" I stammer. She leans in close, a smirk on her face.

"Don't think, Tor. Just do." She murmurs. I recognized the advice. It was the same kind of advice Sikowitz gave us back in acting class in Hollywood Arts. And just like that, I'm seventeen again. I grasp her by the waist and she looks surprised for a moment.

"Fine. You want dancing? I'll show you dancing." I husk. She stares at me with wide eyes just before I dip her down in a swift motion, and then pull her back up. She's grinning again once, irises bright.

And then we're laughing and dancing in the grocery store to Andre's song. People are watching, but for some reason I don't care anymore. Besides, when I did catch the faces of the observers, they seemed to be smiling. I would spin her, and she would take my hands and sway them around to the beat. At one point, I had one hand on her waist and one hand in hers, while her free hand rested daintily on my shoulder. We rocked to the beat, smiling brightly at each other. I can't remember the last time I let myself have so much fun… God, she looks so beautiful right now…

Suddenly she kicks out and spins me away, beginning to clap to the beat. The intense part of the song is coming, and we both know it. "Yeah, Tori! Shake what your momma gave ya!" Cat cheers. And damnit I do. I dance on my own, with people watching. I just don't care anymore! I'm having fun! I pity all the people who _aren't_ dancing right now. They're missing out!

The song ends and I stop my shuffle, and the observers laugh and applaud as I take an overdramatic bow. I mean, this is what I want to do in life. Dance and sing in front of people… entertain them. And god, it feels so right.

I can't picture myself doing anything else.

I rush over to Cat and she laughs as I make her bow with me. When we dip up from our bow she shoves me playfully. "Way to let loose." She grins.

"Couldn't have done it without some encouragement." I breathe, feeling flushed.

"What's going on here? What's all this commotion?" A man storms up to us. His name tag reads as the manager. Thinking quickly, I grab something off the shelf.

"Yeah, I was just wondering, how much is this artichoke?" I ask.

* * *

"I can't believe you actually bought the artichoke." Cat shakes her head.

"What? It was a good price." I mumble, looking in the rear view mirror of my car to see the green spikey plant on my back seat as I drive Cat home.

"Well if you make artichoke dip, I want some." She states. I look over at her with a smile.

"You'll be the first to know. So, when are your late shifts this week?" I ask. She shifts slightly.

"Um. I don't think I have any this week…" She mutters. I look over again, giving a glare.

"Cat…"

"Okay, okay! I just still feel bad you're doing that for me." She pouts.

"I don't think I can express enough how much it isn't any trouble. Besides, now I owe you." I claim. I sense her furrowing her brow.

"For what?"

"For… I don't know. Giving me that reality check back there. I really needed it. And I just feel so much freer now." I shake my head. "**And** I know exactly what the lyrics of the song are going to be about now."

"Dancing in a super market?" Cat giggles.

"Yep."

"Do I get credit on the CD when you release it?"

"Absolutely." I grin. "Plus, a life-time supply of rides home from late shifts."

"A life-time, huh?" Cat sighs.

"Uh huh. Even when you get a car of your own, I'll be there to pick you up." I state.

"Guess I'm stuck with you, then." Cat smiles. "Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday."

"Geez, that's a lot." I gasp.

"Yeah, still waiting on the other performers to get better, so it's a busy week for me, especially so close to Valentine's Day. The Larksong Diner is actually considered one of Toronto's romantic hot spots." Cat explains. I think about her swaying her hips up on stage, and a blush creeps in as I feel myself agree.

"Oh, yeah, that's next week, huh? You and Barry doing anything special?" I ask. Please don't say all day sex…

"Um, I don't know honestly. He's never been big into Valentine's Day because he believes a girl should be treated to romance every day rather than have an excuse to do it only one day, so it might just be a simple dinner or a card and flowers. Like usual." She shrugs. I can't tell if that's sweet or stingy…

"But you love Valentine's Day… even if you didn't have a date. You're Cat _Valentine_!" I exclaim. Cat lets out a scoff.

"Yeah but he doesn't-" She stops short. I glance over at her just before pulling up to her condo and she's biting her lip. I give her a confused look as I pull into park. "…Anyway," She continues, "We'll do something special for your birthday. I already convinced him to take you out for dinner, and I'll be there too, of course. It'll be fun!"

"Yeah…" I say slowly, slightly confused by her sudden derailment. She pops open the car quickly and leans over to give me her usual kiss on the cheek.

"I'll see you Wednesday night." She smiles lightly and gratefully before leaving the car.

That girl is a mystery.

* * *

**February 19****th****, 2017**

Cat was right when she said it was going to a busy week. Every time I picked her up, she would practically fall asleep in the car. Sometimes she actually would and I'd have to gently shake her awake. She'd great me with a tired, grateful smile, a thousand thank yous, and then she'd hand me a bunch of leftovers she stole from the kitchen for me. That's really sweet of her – it means I always have a good meal lined up for lunch the next day after I pick her up – I just hope she doesn't get in trouble for it.

I like this arrangement we have. Honestly, I don't think I would've seen her this week otherwise. Like I said, she's busy and tired. I think the only thing I would change about this is that after I pick her up, I bring her to my place instead… Okay, not like that. I don't have ill intensions. Yes, that night I held her while I slept was the best sleep I've had in forever. Yes, she makes great company and part of me craves that comforting presence and the fluttering in my stomach I get when she smiles at me. But mostly… I drive her home to make sure she doesn't end up in a bad situation with some creep. But then I drop her off at her place, where her fiancé is. And yes, she's known him for two years and yes she loves him so obviously he must being doing something right. But that doesn't excuse the fact that I haven't met him yet doesn't sit well with me. But all that changes today.

Because today I turn twenty-one years old.

Cat called me a few days ago. Barry had set up a reservation at a place called Rosewater. I looked up the menu online and _man oh man_. But Cat assured me that Barry would be paying for everything. Well, if he insists…

She left me with an "**We'll pick you up like we're both taking you out on a date. Oh, and dress up.**" Good thing I brought my whole wardrobe here with me, including my slew of dresses and heels. I can't help but think that perhaps the whole dressing up thing is a bad idea. I mean, Cat will be dressed up too, right? What if I ogle her in front of her fiancé? Then again… there's always the chance she may ogle me…

I mean that would be terrible. Completely awful idea. Regardless, I'm going all out tonight.

In the meantime, Vik and Nicky get dibs on me first. They're taking me out for lunch right now and guess what? I'm twenty-one which means my first legal drink. Don't get me wrong… I've barely touched alcohol since the day Jade dragged me out of that ditch. But special occasions are fine… besides, there will be something so satisfying about flashing my ID to order a drink for the first time.

"Where'd you say you're going tonight?" Vik asks as we take a seat.

"Rosewater." I answer. Vik lets out a whistle.

"Man, I've only heard stories about that place. Aren't you lucky." Nicky states.

"I hear that you have to be making a certain income in order to properly pronounce anything on the menu." Vik jokes.

"Haw haw." I roll my eyes.

"All joking aside, I hope you have a fun time tonight. Sorry if Jack Astor's pales in comparison…" Vik mutters. I look around the restaurant.

"Honestly, I was a little sketched out when you told me the name… but now that I'm here… I like the atmosphere. It's right up my alley." I grin. Vik and Nicky both grin back. Then at the side of the table, I notice the drink menu. I quickly snatch it up, flipping through my choices.

"Well someone's thirsty." Nicky jeers. I ignore her. I want my first legally purchased drink to taste good, and look pretty. Hmm… A Classic Caesar? Isn't that a Canadian drink? What's in it? … _Clamato? _Gross! Next please… Oh, this one looks perfect.

The waiter comes by and I'm practically bouncing when he starts to take drink orders. "A Mango Sapphire Jackarita, please." I beam.

"Can I see some ID?" He asks. Yes. Moment of truth. I pull out my card with my less than flattering picture – but that doesn't matter. This asserts my adulthood! He glances at it and then back at me before smiling. "American, huh? And it's your birthday. Happy birthday and welcome to Canada!" He states. I smile even wider as I take my card back.

"Thanks!" I exclaim, and he walks away to let us choose what we want for food. I sit there, feeling proud of myself. It's so silly. It's just an alcoholic drink, but it's like a milestone to finally be able to order one. Then I notice Vik and Nicky giving me strange looks.

"Are you a secret raging alcoholic?" Vik raises his eyebrow. "Because there's enough pop stars like that…"

"What? N-no!" I stammer. I mean just because I spent a few months drinking vodka like water doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic… although I'm perfectly aware I'm lucky I didn't become addicted. Wait, how could they tell?!

"Are you sure? Because you seem _very _excited about ordering one drink." Nicky chimes in. Oh. I furrow my brow at them.

"I'm twenty-one today… It's kind of a big deal, I guess." I say. They both look at each other, smirks forming on their faces. I hate it when they have these silent conversations… "What?"

"Tori…" Vik says slowly, looking at me with that smirk still slapped on his face. "You know you've been able to drink legally since you got here, right?"

I blink at him. "What?" I repeat

"The drinking age is nineteen here, kid." Nicky laughs.

My jaw drops.

"_What_?!"

"I'm afraid it's true." Vik smiles. "But yeah, totally a big deal… if this had been two years ago."

"I don't believe this." I groan, flopping back into my seat. I blow out air between my lips in a frustrated huff. "Well this was just anti-climactic." As I say that, my blue alcoholic drink is placed in front of me. Vik pushes it toward me sheepishly.

"Drink. You'll feel better." He teases. Jerk.

We order our food and I drink my suddenly less-impressive drink as we continue conversation.

"So you're meeting Cat's fiancé tonight, right?" Nicky interrogates. She's really obsessed about this…

"Yeah." I confirm. She leans on her hands.

"And how do you feel about that?" She asks. I give a shrug.

"I'm curious more than anything. I don't even know what he looks like." I sigh.

"So you want to scope out the competition." She winks. Both me and Vik roll our eyes.

"Nicky. No. He's buying me dinner. I'm not going there to steal his fiancé as a thank you." I scoff. I know I joked about it earlier, but I'm not that kind of person. I'm just not, and Cat wouldn't cross that line either.

"Not s_teal_. More like… plant the idea of **options**." Nicky explains.

"Nicky… what are you on about?" Vik sighs. Nicky ignores him.

"My advice to you… show him up tonight." She states. I blink at her.

"What are you talking abo-"

"Just hear me out… Maybe _she_ thinks she's moved on, but if tonight you show how much better of a date you can be than her fiancé… maybe she might start rethinking her whole engagement." Nicky explains.

"You… are ridiculous." I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, what's wrong with you?" Vik scoffs.

"Just think about it. People who are meant to be tend to find each other, no matter what blocks their way." Nicky claims. Yeah, right.

As if Cat and I have ever needed to find each other through difficult circumstances. Pssh.

* * *

I look _stunning _- Is what I would be saying if I wasn't plagued with any self-consciousness at all, but one can only be so lucky. However, I can admit I clean up pretty good. I've got a royal purple, long-sleeved dress that's cut pretty short. So I won't be able to bend over tonight… oh well. I have some panty-hose that match my skin tone to combat that cold (not that it'll help) and long, black heel boots. Eat your heart out, Rosewater.

I hear my phone go off. It's Cat.

_Leaving now. Be ready :)_

I send her an okay back, and then I shake my sudden bout of nerves off. Stupid Nicky… Making me think about how I need to show up Barry tonight. _Not_ happening.

I head out my door, turning to lock it when I hear that friendly voice. "Oh my, Tori, don't you look absolutely dashing!"

I turn to the source with a smile "Thanks, Ms. Wilkinson!" I exclaim. She's at her apartment door, her keys also in the lock ready to open it.

"Are you going on a date?" She asks.

"Oh, no, it's a birthday dinner for me with some friends." I explain.

"Oh! Happy birthday!" She grins.

"Thank you." I smile. Then she gets a serious look.

"You should really bring a jacket. It's cold out." She frowns. Oh. Right._ Duh_.

"You're completely right. Ugh you're like my guardian angel." I huff, pulling my door back open. I hear her chuckle as I grab my coat. I don't know why I didn't have it in the first place. I guess I had an image in my mind of walking out in the dress and Cat seeing me from the car… Damnit, I _am_ trying to show Barry up!

**Stupid Nicky**.

I put my coat on and head back out to lock the door again. "Will Cat be at this dinner?" She asks.

"She sure will." I say, turning back to her. She gives me knowing smile.

"I see." She says slowly. Why does she keep doing that… "Tell her I say hi!"

"I will. I have to go, now. Have a good night, Ms. Wilkinson." I smile.

"You too, dear. Have a lovely birthday dinner." She wishes and heads into her apartment. What I sweet woman like I can't even ugh.

I head down to the lobby of my building and look out the doors. Eventually, I see a car pull up. At first I think it can't be my ride… that's a Mustang. Then I remember Barry's rich. Oh my god, how to I get into the back seat with a dress like _this_?

I walk out into the frigid air. Yeah… the panty-hose don't help. Thank god I have my coat. The diver's seat door opens and a man in a suit gets out.

Damn it. He's attractive.

Like really freakin' attractive. I mean Leo DiCaprio meets Ryan Gosling plus five o-clock shadow. I don't know what I expected – I guess because of the name Barry I was sort of thinking along the lines of burly lumberjack, not that their rugged look is all that bad either. But I definitely didn't expect a metrosexual business hottie.

What? Remember, I'm bi-sexual. I can appreciate male attractiveness as much as the next straight girl. I honestly don't know why I'm surprised. Cat always showed great taste in guys… not that I know his personality yet. But based off his looks, that's my competition? Sorry, Nicky.

I walk over with a polite smile and he smiles back. "Tori, right?" He asks. I nod.

"Yeah, Barry?" I ask. I mean… unless Barry has a driver…

"That's right." He confirms. I hold out my hand and he shakes his head.

"Hey, I hug people on their birthdays." He exclaims, opening his arms. He envelopes me in a hug and I tense up. I don't know why. I guess it's just awkward hugging my best friend's fiancé in front of said best friend. Where is she anyway?

He pulls back and turns to push his seat forward to let me into the back. Over him I see Cat smiling brightly at me in the passenger seat. "Hi, Tori! Happy birthday!" She calls out to me.

"Thank you! Nice ride." I state. Barry looks up, standing to the side to let me through.

"It's only a lease." He winks.

"I'll give you _your _birthday hug when we get to the restaurant." Cat says as I somehow crawl into the back without exposing myself.

"Okay, I look forward to it." I grin. Cat shoots me a smile over her shoulder as Barry places his seat back in place and takes his spot.

"So… Barry, this is Tori. Tori, this is Barry." Cat states.

"It's really nice to finally meet you… thank you for taking me out tonight." I say gratefully.

"Pleasures all mine. Stacy really wanted to do something special for you for your twenty-first. She insisted." Barry explains. I falter for a minute.

"Yeah, that's very nice… of Stacy." I say slowly. I immediately see Cat reach for her phone and she starts rapidly typing on it.

"Who you talking to, babe?" Barry looks over at his fiancé.

"Just someone from work." She mutters.

"Well wrap it up. You have your friend here." He chuckles. Cat puts her phone away.

"Right, sorry." She smiles. I feel my purse buzz and, after checking to make sure Barry isn't watching me through the rear-view, I check my phone.

_Shit, I forgot to mention… Barry only knows me as Stacy. Sorry. _

I stare at the screen for a moment and I wonder if even Barry doesn't know about Cat's past… I know she said he didn't ask any questions when they first met, but surely they've talked about it since then. Surely she wouldn't keep something like that from someone she's in love with and is going to marry, right?

Right?

I put my phone away and look up to see Cat looking back at me, giving a small smile. I stare at her for a moment and she gets a worried look on her face, so I snap out of it and flash a smile back at her. She looks relieved, turning back to the front.

We arrive at the restaurant not long after, and I perform the awkward action of crawling out of the back again. By the time I get out, Cat has already run along the outside of the car and before I can even right myself up, she leaps on me. Arms wrap around my neck, body pushed into me, head nuzzled into my hair, like she hasn't seen me in forever.

"Happy birthday!" She whispers into my ear as I return the hug, wrapping my arms around her waist.

"Thanks." I laugh. She rocks me a bit on the spot and then we hear Barry clear his throat.

"Um, as touching as this is, we have a reservation to keep." He states. I pull away from Cat to see him shifting slightly. What, does she not hug you like that, or something?

"Okay, bossy." Cat teases. Barry raises an eyebrow as Cat lightly walks by him. He looks at me and I shrug, also walking by. I follow Cat into the restaurant and my jaw drops. Cat turns to me, smiling. "What do you think?"

What do I think? With the nice lighting fixtures, the dashing atmosphere and smooth music… This is certainly no Jack Astor's. "It's gorgeous. Wow." I breathe. Cat lets out a giggle.

"That was similar to my reaction. This is the first place Barry brought me after our initial coffee date…" Cat explains as Barry walks over to her. She looks up at him. "Isn't that right?"

"That would be correct. Glad you remember." He smiles. "Do you remember the s_econd_ time we came here?"

"Yeah…" Cat blushes, looking down at her ring. Oh, so he proposed here. Now I feel awkward, like I'm intruding on a special place of theirs. Barry goes up to the host to give his name, and Cat looks up at me. "Come on, let's go check our coats."

"They have coat check?" I ask. She grins, leading me over to the window by the front. A man is there and he slips off my coat. I look over at Cat to see her coat already off and…

Oh. My. God.

No seriously. Oh my god. Just… Oh my god. Even my thoughts are speechless. Her dress is cobalt, running a bit longer than mine and frilling out at the end. The dress hugs her sides, two slits at the waist showing off the skin of her side. The dress ends in a halter, defining her shoulder and cleavage. Remember how I said Barry is attractive?

Cat blows him out of the water. Seriously. She's… she's beautiful. Every part of her. I've never had someone just _floor _me before. I always knew Cat was attractive but I guess the dress just shows off her classy _and _sexy side. And man, does she own it… I'm crushing on her so hard. And damnit, I'm doing that thing I was afraid of where I'm just ogling her with my mouth hanging open. I try to tear my eyes from the smoothness of her legs to meet the look on her face – which I discover matches mine.

That's right, like I joked about before… she's ogling me just as hard. Nicky would be proud. I watch as her eyes slowly drag up my body, as if she's absorbing every detail. I'm so happy about this dress choice now. By the time her eyes meet mine, we've been standing here basically checking each other out for about two minutes. Her eyes are heavy as they land on mine, her mouth curling up into a smile.

"You look _really _nice, Tori." She sighs. I allow my eyes to drag down her figure again, making sure she notices.

"Look who's talking." I note. I drag my eyes back up to hers, and she's smiling wide with a deep blush on her face.

Best birthday ever.

"Ladies?" We hear from beside us. Tearing our eyes away from each other, we look into the face of a slightly perplexed Barry. His eyes shift between us. "You both look lovely. Our table is ready." He states. He turns and we follow him, but I see Cat glance at me from the corner of her eye, and I swear she licks her lips. Shudders. Maybe I'm just letting my imagination get the better of me.

We come to the table in a very classy part of the restaurant and Barry pulls the chair out for Cat and then me. At least he's gentlemanly, but I still have a lot to gauge about him…

"So," I start. "Stacy told me a bit about your job at TD. Do you like it?" I ask Barry.

"Yes. Very much so. The banking world has always fascinated me." He explains. Wow, you must be a hoot at parties.

"Barry is considered one of the most efficient and productive employees at TD. That's why he's so high up while so young." Cat says. Barry fiddles with his cufflinks for a moment.

"Oh, I'm not that young. Year thirty is coming up soon. Plus, the family connections help." He sighs.

"Still, it's impressive that you've made such headway in the company." I compliment. Hey, keep your enemies closer, right?

"Thank you, Tori. That's very kind of you to say." Barry says. Cat smiles at me across from the table. At this point the waiter comes by and hands out the menus… Vik was right. I can't pronounce these things worth shit. A salad seems pretty safe, as well as some sort of pork with gnocchi or whatever… It better be good, because it looks like everything will be well over my budget. Good thing I'm not paying. "And Stacy tells me you're… in the music business." He continues.

"Yes, I'm working with some music producers right now, and I have a decently popular Splashface page." I say.

"Splashface? Isn't that the website with all those funny videos of cats?" He asks. I feel myself fluster a bit, and I think Cat twitched a little at the word "cats".

"Well, yeah, but there are also other parts of it… It's a great way to share your talents or passions for free over the web to a large audience. Film, animation, comedy, books, tutorials… and yes, there's plenty of footage of funny moments caught on tape." I explain. He nods his head slowly and Cat jumps in.

"Tori uploads covers of songs on it, and they're really good!" Cat exclaims. Barry's eyes flash with realization.

"Oh yes! Now I remember. I knew you looked familiar. I'm pretty sure I've seen Stacy watching your videos before." Barry says slowly. He looks to Cat. "I thought you said you didn't know her."

Sorry, what?

I shoot her a look and her face goes beet red. "N-no! You must have been thinking of someone else… I've watched more than just Tori." She mutters, looking down at her lap.

"Oh, sorry, my mistake." Barry nods. I continue to look at Cat with confusion, and she looks up at me with a pained expression.

"Barry, I'm going to go powder my nose. Tori, would you care to join?" Cat asks quickly. I give her a questioning look.

"Sure…"

"Great! We'll be back soon." Cat states while practically yanking me out of my chair. She leads me into the washroom, and I can't help but feel we have too many heart-to-hearts here. She turns to me, the pained expression still on her face.

"So… you don't know me?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. She steps close, trying to find the words.

"I'm so sorry, Tori. It was just… You were part of my past…" She trails off, and I blink at her.

"So, you tried to lock me away, too?" I ask. She looks away biting her lip before nodding slowly. "Ouch."

"I'm sorry…" She repeats.

"If you were trying to forget me, why were you watching my videos in the first place?" I interrogate. She looks up at me, and I can tell her eyes are glistening.

"Look, it's not that I was trying to forget you, Tori." She claims, taking a deep breath. "You were just… mine. Does that make sense? You were a part of my past and I didn't want anyone in my new life to share the memory of you. Every moment I spent with you was so special and I just couldn't let those go, Tori. I couldn't. So I kept them close." She holds up her hands to her heart, biting her lip once more. "So close that I wouldn't let anyone else in. Not even Barry. To him you were a person on a screen, to me you were…" Her throat catches.

"Cat…"

"I couldn't let anyone reduce you to a figment of my past, or just a face on a screen. Now you're not. You're part of my present, and I can't stop proclaiming that enough. My best friend is Tori Vega. And I don't want that to ever change." She breathes out, a tear falling down her face. "Don't be mad at m-"

My thumb stops her as it wipes away the single tear drop on her cheek. I cup her face in my hand and she looks at me with surprise before I envelop her in one of our now-becoming-famous bathroom hugs. "Thanks for clearing that up." I mutter into her hair. "I'm just glad you weren't ashamed of me."

"Never." She trembles out. I pull back and I give her a bright smile, which she returns.

"Come on, Barry will be wondering what's taking so long." I say. She nods and starts heading towards the door but I stop her by touching her arm. "Hey… even though people in your life know about me now… am I still yours?"

"Absolutely." She murmurs, giving me a long look before heading out the bathroom door. I let the swell of my chest overwhelm me as a goofy grin dances across my lips. I sense another presence so I turn towards to source – the other bathroom users as they stare at me.

"What?" I scoff, heading back out the door into the dining area. I join Cat and Barry back at the table, and Barry looks between us again.

"Why do you girls always accompany each other to the washroom?" He asks incredulously.

"Oh you know… Girl talk." Cat sighs, and we give each other a knowing smile. Barry raises his eyebrow, but shrugs it off.

"So, what were we saying?" I ask.

"I believe we were talking about your very fascinating career path." Barry states.

"Fascinating?" I ask. I notice Cat stiffen.

"Yes. I find the arts very fascinating as a career choice. I can't say I completely understand it being anything outside of a simple hobby, but I find it interesting none the less." Barry explains. I look at him for a moment.

"Well, the arts aren't simply a hobby or a career choice for me. They're a way of life." I say. He leans forward, looking interested.

"See, Stacy has tried to tell me the same thing. I think her voice is absolutely beautiful along with the rest of her," He glances at her with a grin. Gag. "But I don't completely understand why she can't move on from that diner."

"I told you, I love to sing." Cat rolls her eyes.

"And I understand that, but I don't comprehend why it has to embody 'your life' as you've said. Why can't you take the job at TD and just sing around the condo?" Barry asks, and he looks at me. "Maybe you're friend with similar interests can elaborate."

I let out a deep breath. Oh, here I go.

"It's like this… I used to be the same, where I only saw the arts through my sister. If you know my sister, you'd understand how crazy that is." I hear Cat giggle at that. "I didn't get it either, and I was content at not knowing that side of the world… but when I did… I saw what I was missing, and I could never go back. It was through the arts that I discovered so much about myself and how I live. It's a lifestyle. It's important to me. If I'm not living through the arts, I'm not happy. Because it's the arts that live through _me_. I'm sure Stacy feels the same." I finish.

Cat beams at me while Barry leans back in his chair, looking thoughtful. "I can't say that I fully understand it yet, but it sounds to me as if it's some sort of Plato's Allegory of the Cave deal." He theorizes. For those who don't know, that's a philosophical term based off of the idea that once you gain knowledge on something, you can't go back into the darkness of the cave and forget that knowledge. Yeah, I took a philosophy class once.

"Exactly." I nod.

"No one can fully understand why the arts are important without experience it themselves." Cat tells Barry before turning to me, "It's just something Tori and I can really connect over." She looks prideful and happy when she says that.

"Maybe I should take a pottery class or something." Barry shakes his head.

* * *

"Thank you _so_ much, again. It was an amazing birthday." I say as I struggle to get out of the car at the foot of my apartment building.

"It was my pleasure. It was really nice to meet Stacy's old friend I didn't know existed until a few weeks ago." Barry states, pushing his seat back into place. I raise my eyebrow at Cat.

"Um, Tori! Can I walk you to your apartment?" Cat asks, getting out of the car as well.

"Stace… She can probably make it on her own." Barry sighs. Cat comes over to my side.

"I know, but I would feel bad if she twisted her ankle on the way up and spent the rest of her birthday on the hallway floor." She shifts awkwardly before looking at me. "Do you mind?"

"Sure, I'd love the… extra support." I state.

"Alright, I'll be down here. Don't take too long. I don't want to get nailed for idling." Barry says from his driver seat. Cat nods and takes my arm, leading me back to my building. Once we're in, I look over to her.

"You know, it's okay. I understand why you are talking about me again when you didn't before. You don't have to clear that up again." I say to her.

"That's not why I wanted to walk you up… although I'm glad you understand." Cat sighs. We head into the elevator and I continue to look at her.

"Oh, then why? The ankle thing?" I ask. She smiles up at me.

"That. _And_…" She trails off, twisting her mouth, "I really wanted to thank you for talking to Barry about why I sing… why that way of expressing myself is important." She says softly. The elevator dings when it gets to my floor.

"Oh, no problem. I feel pretty passionate about the subject." I reflect, stepping off the elevator.

"Same, but I wish I could've worded it as well as you did." Cat sighs. "That's been an… issue between us for a while. He just didn't get it." She shakes her head.

"Really? But… it's such a big part of you. Shouldn't he be able to understand that?" I ask.

"Which is why I'm so glad **you **understand. I think he just wants what's best for me… A reliable, sensible job to hold down. But I think, thanks to you, he'll be a bit more understanding." She states, letting me go at my door.

"Oh, well, no problem. Glad I could help." I smile, and as I turn to unlock my door I mentally curse myself. But, I guess it's good that I strengthened their relationship instead of weakening it. Getting Cat to second guess herself was never my intention, after all…

"Did you have a good night?" Cat asks when I turn back to her.

"Absolutely, and I'm not just saying that. It was a very nice twenty-first birthday. We should do it again sometime." I say.

"We should." Cat nods. "Happy birthday again, Tori. Here's to many more." And she leans in to kiss me on the cheek.

"I hope you had a good time as well." I smile. She breaks into a big grin as she backs away.

"I really did. It was probably my favourite visit to Rosewater I've ever had." She states, and then she turns swiftly on her heel and heads toward the elevators again. I'm left there smiling goofily, and then something clicks in my head.

"Wait… what? Didn't Barry propose to you at Rosewater? Cat? Cat…!" I call after her, but it's like she doesn't hear me. She gets into the elevator and as the doors close, she turn to give me a smirk. Oh my god.

I showed Barry up.

* * *

**Author's Notes: And you didn't even try, Tori! Imagine if you had? Tsk tsk... And yes, Rosewater is a real fancy restaurant in Toronto that I Googled. I've never actually been there. I thought about going for research purposes, but then I remembered I have student bills to pay. I did look up the menu and plenty of pictures though! (Some I'll probably post on twitter later for visual purposes. Have you followed me yet? WaitwhathuhFF) **

**So now you know Barry... thoughts? Feelings? Hopes? Dreams? You all still want him to get run over? Oh well. By the way, next chapter is going to be crazy. A new blast from the past will take place, secrets are revealed, revelations will be had... It will be a good one. In the meantime, tell me how you liked this chapter! Is it obvious what song Tori is writing? And if you haven't noticed, the show never states any of the character's birthdays (other than Trina's is an entire week), so I'm going off of the real-life counterparts. Victoria Justice's birthday works out pretty well for the story. And hey, maybe Ariana Grande's will, too!**

**Fun Fact: Although I've never been to Rosewater, I have indeed been to Jack Astor's. Yes it's a real Canadian restaurant. I've been many times... one time particularly stands out. As mentioned above, the drinking age in Ontario, Canada is 19. I went to Jack Astor's for my 18th birthday. Cue the waiter embarrassingly making me stand on a chair, getting the whole restaurant's attention and announcing: "Hey everybody! It's her birthday, and she's not allowed to drink yet!"**

**Jack ass.**


	7. A Slippery Slope

**Disclaimer: This year for Halloween, I'm going as someone who owns Victorious. Every other day of the year, though, I do not own it. OR CANDY. **

* * *

**March 4****th****, 2017**

"Oh my god, Tori, are you okay?!"

"Yeah I'm fine. Just… bruised my pride. And my ass." I wince as a concerned Cat kneels by my side. I shake my frazzled head, trying to get in a position where I can successfully get off the ice. Yeah, we are finally doing that skating thing that Cat suggested a while back. I guess it's been over a month now since she reappeared in my life, but it feels like longer. We've kept very close contact ever since my birthday, and even on days where we don't see each other we shoot texts to check up. She's warned me that she won't get much Tori time coming up in later months because she's going to be very busy with wedding planning… ugh.

She showed up at the studio today with a pair of skates in hand and a big smile on her face. We stared at her in confusion before she announced, very excitedly, that the skating rink is open. At first I was inclined to decline, because it was -15 Celsius out and I haven't skated since I was very young. So young, I had to use a chair at the time to keep myself steady… but as soon as Cat made her claim, Nicky practically threw her headphones in the air and promptly shoved us out. I was expecting Vik to protest, but apparently he loves the feeling of ice under his feet and it really gets him pumped… So I couldn't say no. Besides… Who could say no to that adorable smile of Cat's?

I think my ass now wishes I had fought that decision.

I attempt to turn to push myself up but my hand just slips and I bash my head off the ice. Ow. "Tori! Geez!" Cat sighs as she scoops her arms under me to prop me up. My eyes are watering from hitting my nose but I can see her caring face through the blurriness. She smiles lightly, brushing a strand of my hair back. "Are you sure you're okay?" She says softly, but there's a hint of a giggle in there.

"Yeah… I'm just so graceful, huh?" I groan, making Cat let out her full giggle.

"Like you were born to be on ice." She jokes. "Here, hold onto me." Cat states. I do what she says, carefully putting my arms around her neck. I get a whiff of her hair and I blush as my stomach twists. Platonic thoughts… She eases both of us up, and I keep my arms around her to stop myself from wobbling. "There. All better."

"Thanks. I think I'm better at having traction underneath me." I sigh.

"I wasn't the best when I first started coming here. You get used to it quickly." She says, sliding away from my grasp. She takes my hands in hers, giving me a bright smile. "How's your head?"

"Is it still there?" I ask.

"Yes."

"Then I think I'll live." I declare. Her smile twists sheepishly.

"And your ass?" She interrogates, her eyes looking mischievous. I roll my eyes at her.

"Is _that _still there?" I chuckle. She gives me a grin as if I just said exactly what she wanted, and then she swoops to look behind me… I'm assuming at my behind. And the blush is back.

"Yep. All looks well." She smirks when she looks at me again. I shake my head at her, smiling back.

"Then I officially survived my first ice wipe out." I state. "Now if you excuse me… I'd like to not change that in the next wipe out." And I start to tug away from her, but her grip tightens.

"Tori! No! I didn't come to spend my day off here with you just for you to give up after your first fall!" Cat whines.

"But I'm _actually _going to die on here." I groan.

"You know I won't let that happen. C'mon." She tugs me, starting to skate backwards and pulling my forward. "You just need to get your ice legs. Follow me."

"I don't know why I let you talk me into these things…" I mumble, looking at our slowly sliding feet.

"Because you always look so happy afterwards." Cat smiles, and I look up at her to see her enthusiastic face. "Now, just like roller blading… push outward with your skates."

I try it and I stumble, but Cat quickly catches me. "I'm impossible." I scoff as she rights me up.

"No you're not." She laughs. "Try again. Follow my feet." She instructs. I look down and start to match her pace. I start to feel myself gaining some control, and I look up at her with a big grin. "See, Tori? You're doing it!" Cat beams.

"Yeah! I am! Ha! In your face, ice! …Please don't let go." I request worriedly. Cat's being my chair right now.

"Wasn't planning on it." She smirks.

"Oh my god you two look like a movie poster right now." Nicky laughs as she slides up beside us. I glare at her while Cat giggles. "How's T doing? Saw your wipe out from the other side. You looked ridiculous."

"Thanks!" I roll my eyes.

"We'll make a pro-skater out of her yet." Cat chuckles.

Nicky gives us a knowing grin. "I believe it. Good thing you're around to guide her every move and hold onto her tight…"

I will murder her. The ice will be so stained with blood it'll look like the fucking Canadian Flag.

Then, as if a gift from God, Nicky is showered in a spray of snow from Vik's skates. Nicky's attention is immediately diverted from my **totally non-existent romance **as she fumes at the grinning Vik.

"Vikas Singh, I will destroy you." Nicky growls.

"You have to catch me first, **Nicolette Chen**." Vik challenges. Nicky looks like a volcano.

"You did **not **just call me that! Come back here and eat my skate!" She shouts as she quickly skates after a cackling Vik. Cat and I watch them in amusement. Thank goodness I have Vik as a barrier between Nicky's suggestive comments and Cat.

"They are so funny." Cat laughs.

"They're a hoot and a half, alright. They keep things interesting." I sigh, shaking my head.

"They seem to be really fond of you." Cat smiles. I look over to see Nicky holding Vik in a choke hold, giving him a rough looking noogie as Vik's arms flail.

"Yeah… at first I thought I'd just be a client to them. But they've proven many times that I'm more than that. And I consider them good friends now, too." I sigh. Cat skates a little closer to me, lessening the distance between our torsos.

"I missed having friends…" Cat mutters, biting her lip. She looks down and I dip my head to try and find her eyes.

"What?" I ask, and she looks up at me, almost looking shy.

"I… I just haven't really had friends for a long time." Cat sighs. I blink at her.

"But… but… How?" I fumble like an idiot. I shake off my confusion to articulate better. "You're such a people person. That's why you had so many friends at Hollywood Arts. I can't imagine you not having any friends here. What about the diner? Everyone seems to like you there."

"That's true… People do like me there. And I like everyone. But I'm not that close with any of them. I guess I just kind of keep to myself. You have no idea how shocked everyone was when I said I was hanging out with you. I'm pretty sure they believed I had no social life outside of Barry… And they were kind of right." Cat admits.

"Oh… And you were okay with that?" I ask.

"For a while. Barry was all I needed. But I guess it can get… taxing. As you know, Barry doesn't like everything I like, and I don't like everything he likes… Friends bring variety, you know? And they can get you on a different level… Friends are great. And now I have them again." Cat smiles brightly at me.

"Aww, Cat… I'm glad we're friends again. Everyone was so busy back home that I kind of kept to myself as well. Then I came here and I found Vik and Nicky… and you." I state. "I still can't believe you didn't form any other friendships, though."

"I guess I was holding out for you." She smirks, and then she starts laughing. "It's _so_ easy to make you blush, Tor."

My mouth pops open. "Wh-what? I'm not…"

"You're getting redder, Tor." She points at my face. I turn my head away, embarrassed.

"Well it's not my fault you sometimes say the sweetest things, like you really mean them." I mutter.

"Of course I mean them." Cat whispers. I look up to see her face has also turned a shade of scarlet, and I grin.

"Oh, would you look at that." I point at her face.

"Shhh…" Cat smirks, wrapping me up in a warm hug. Which feels really nice… until my legs ruin everything. I feel my skates slowly sliding out beneath me in an awkward split, our bodies sluggishly descending down to the ice below.

"Uh, Cat…" I mutter as I notice it happening, and she just starts laughing, squeezing me tightly.

"Nicky to the rescue!" I hear as I'm lifted upright from behind. I let out a breath as I release Cat, who is still laughing. I turn to a grinning Nicky.

"Thanks." I breathe. "I thought I was a goner."

"What are friends for?" She winks, nudging me slightly. Vik skates up to us, looking slightly dishevelled from Nicky's wrath.

"Okay, I think it's time we talk about your new song, Tori." Vik announces, and I give him an incredulous look.

"What? We're really talking business now?" I whine.

"Yes. As fun as this is, it _is _cutting into our studio time. Now that you finished your new song…" Vik starts.

"Which sounds really good, by the way." Cat praises, earning a nod from Vik. Yeah, I finished the song. It's exactly how I wanted it to turn out, thanks to Cat.

"We need to figure out the next step. Tori, you haven't posted anything on Splashface since the Tegan and Sara cover." Vik says.

"Yeah, but I've told them through The Slap and other social mediums that's because I'm working on big stuff for them." I explain.

"And I intend to deliver. Your online fans are key to success – They can be a very strong support system in promoting and giving feedback." Vik states.

"I know." I sigh with a slight smile on my face. It's true, my fans are pretty great and they've gotten me through some rough times. I want to do the best I can for them.

"So I think our first objective should be making that music video. Nicky! Status report on the posters and such in the local universities." Vik requests. Nicky suddenly stands at attention, giving a mock salute.

"Sir! Not a peep from anyone, sir!" Nicky states in a deep voice. Vik rolls his eyes.

"And why's that, _cadet_?" Vik sighs. Nicky drops her charade.

"I don't know. They were pretty posters. I posted them all over the campus. In the building… on the building…" Nicky explains.

"Did you get permission from the schools to get a stamp? Because otherwise they're going to rip the posters down." Vik says. Nicky stares at him for a moment before waving it away with her hand casually.

"Details." She scoffs. Vik lets out a huff.

"Nicky, I swear to god…" He growls.

"Wait, you guys want to make like an actual music video for this?" Cat asks suddenly. I look over at her, and her eyes are lit up with excitement.

"Yeah. I thought I told you that." I say.

"You told me you were making it into a video, and I figure it was like a usual post. Not a music video with a concept and story and such." Her face is filled with wonderment. "Could I… no, never mind."

"What is it, Cat?" I ask. She shakes her head.

"It was a stupid idea."

"What's on your mind? We're all friends here." Vik says, and that seems to make Cat visually happy.

"Feel free to say no… but I know the song pretty well and I… I took a film class back in high school…" Cat trails off.

"You did?" I inquire.

"Yes, back in sophomore year before you showed up. I really liked it… I know you maybe wanted someone with more experience but… If you're desperate, I can try my hand at it. You don't even have to pay me." Cat states. We stare at her in surprise.

"Cat… that's sweet, but you don't have to…" I sigh.

"But I **want** to! I've been interested in it for a while, but I never really had a chance to do anything with it… Variety, remember?" She smiles at me. "I just want the experience. It could be fun."

"Do you even have film equipment?" Vik asks. Cat thinks for a moment before nodding slowly.

"Tori, remember when I told you the diner had a charity event for the homeless? It involved filming, and I think they still have the professional equipment. I could ask to borrow it… I might have to pick up more shifts than usual to convince Bev, but it'd be worth it." She grins.

"You're hired!" Nicky exclaims suddenly. Cat's face brightens up.

"Really?" She asks. Vik nods.

"Yeah, I mean… Who else better can we trust than one of Tori's close friends? Plus, I like the idea of free." He smiles.

"Yes! Thank you! I already have some ideas in my head…" Cat says. It's true, if anyone would have a cool interesting idea for a video, it would be Cat. She turns to me, looking worried. "Oh, Tori, you're okay with it, right?"

"Of course I am. Welcome to the team." I smile, and she grins back.

"Woo! Everything works out in the end! Now come on, you." Nicky says, grabbing onto Cat's arm. "I'm buying you something from the food truck over there."

"Oh, you don't have to…"

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm getting you something deep fried and delicious as a thank you…" Nicky claims as she drags Cat off behind her. I watch them fondly, shaking my head.

"You value your friendship with Cat, right?" Vik asks out of nowhere.

"What? …Yeah, of course I do. More than anything." I say. Vik nods.

"I know Nicky is being annoying by dropping hints and stuff but… don't let her get to you. I know you have feelings for Cat, and if she had been single I'd totally tell you to go for it. But…" He sighs. "It's just too complicated. Anything beyond friendship might ruin the connection you already have. And I'm not just saying that because I don't want to lose our free music video director."

"I know, Vik." I mutter.

"She makes you really happy. Anyone can see that." Vik says.

"Will 'just friends' keep me happy forever, though?" I ask him.

"I sure hope so. Are you happy about where you are with her right now then?" He asks. I think for a moment. Beyond some butterflies, I do just enjoy her friendship quite a lot, and it's clear she enjoys mine. Yes there's some questions about how platonic we really are… but Vik's right. It's too complicated, and he doesn't even know how much. I'm trying to put her disappearance behind me, but it's always in the back of my head… and that kiss… I just can't rehash the past now. I can't lose Cat's friendship now. I have to be happy.

"Yeah, yeah I am." I nod.

"Then just hope you don't fall in love with her." Vik states.

"Maybe seeing her get married will give me the closure I need…" I sigh.

* * *

**March 13****th****, 2017**

"Hi Tori! You here to see Stacy?" Bev asks me when I walk into The Larksong Diner.

"Yeah, and just for lunch. Your food is delicious." I smile. She grins back.

"You're such a sweetie pie. Stacy is working so don't distract her too much." Bev winks. "Sit wherever you want."

"Thanks!" I say, before sliding into a booth near the back of the diner. Cat was right when she said she'd have to pick up a few more shifts in order to make up for borrowing the film equipment, so she's been working non-stop. Not only that, but Vik came down with the flu over the weekend, so he told me and Nicky to go in the studio and record something for Splashface while we wait for Cat to have time to shoot. Nicky's response?

"Yeah… OR we could take this as a week off! Fuck yeah!"

So it's a week off. I decided I might as well pay Cat a visit during her busy work schedule. Hopefully I can brighten up her day a little bit.

"Tori!" I hear her voice call behind me. I turn to see her looking pleasantly surprised at me in her waitress outfit.

"Hey Stace!" I smirk, calling her by her public nickname. She smirks back, shaking her head.

"What are you doing here?" She asks.

"Came to visit. And for mozza sticks." I explain. She grins at me.

"You're so sweet. Hold on." She says, and then she turns to catch another waitress walking by. "Tell Bev I'm taking my break now." The waitress nods and walks off, and Cat slinks into the booth across from me. "There, I have fifteen minutes."

"Perfect." I smile.

"Why aren't you in studio today?" Cat asks.

"Nicky kind of vetoed the whole recording idea this week." I sigh.

"Oh, Nicky." She laughs. "So you won't be putting anything on Splashface this week?"

"No, I will. I can't keep my viewers hanging forever. It'll just have to be me and my computer. I was thinking of singing a preview of my new song A cappella, if Vik would be okay with that." I explain.

"That sounds like a great idea." Cat smiles. "How is Vik feeling?"

"I called him this morning to check on him. He sounds like a beached whale." I wrinkle my nose.

"Aw… Maybe I should bring him some soup from the kitchen at some point." Cat ponders.

"I think he'd _really _appreciate that." I smile. Typical Cat, compassionate about everyone.

"Then I will." She grins. I'm slightly distracted by two waiters doing a duet for an older lady by the entrance. I smile at the sight, and then my eye catches a figure passing by the open windows near the entrance. My jaw drops.

No way. I have to be seeing things.

The figure stops at the door looking up at the diner from outside. "Holy shit." Cat breathes, and I know she sees him too. I look at her and she looks panic stricken. "What's he doing here?! You didn't…"

"No! Of course not!" I try and convince her. She seems to relax a bit, but not a lot.

"Sorry. I should know you wouldn't…" She sighs.

"It's okay." I look over to see him push open the door. "He's coming in." I say quickly.

"_Shit_. Seriously, three years and nothing happens and suddenly everyone from my past seems to gravitate here!" She hisses, but then blinks a moment, giving me a soft look. "N-not that I regret you coming here-"

"Cat! Go!" I whisper frantically. She jumps and looks around before dipping under the table. Sigh. Well that's one way to disappear. And just in time, too, because I look back and he looks over at me at the same time. In the same fashion that my jaw dropped, his drops as well and he breaks into a wide grin.

"Tori? Tori Vega? Is that you?" He calls over to me, waving. I slap on a nervous smile, waving slightly.

"Haha, yep… Hi, Robbie." I say to the bespectacled boy. That's right… who else walked into the diner other than Robbie Shapiro?

He walks over and leans into the booth to give me a hug. "I knew you were in Toronto but I didn't think I'd actually run into you. Then I heard about this diner and… here you are!" He exclaims.

"Here I am." I say uneasily. Under normal circumstances I'd be much more thrilled to see one of my friends… but this isn't normal. Far from it. I have a fugitive under my table.

"May I sit?" He asks.

"Uh…" I start, but he slides it across from me and I feel Cat's body shuffle up against my legs. "…Sure… What are you doing here?"

"Comedy routine. They have something called Yuk Yuk's here and me and Rex were invited to perform! Cool, huh? I love Canada. I asked Beck to give me the low-down so I wasn't completely lost when I got here." He explains. That's right… Beck is Canadian! Damnit, I should've done that! "I was actually going to e-mail you to meet up for coffee or something, but this works too!"

"Yeah…" I sigh. Not really.

"So, how've you been? How's studio life?" He asks. Come on, Tori. Act like nothing's wrong.

"It's good, yeah… I'm enjoying it." I say. He nods slowly, and I start to feel Cat shake slightly in nervousness. Half of me wants to reach down and run a hand through her hair in comfort. I won't let him discover her.

"And… how are you doing otherwise?" He asks, leaning in slightly.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Listen… Andre told me about last month. You know… near the anniversary." Robbie says slowly. I feel myself pale slightly.

"Oh. Uh…" I fumble.

"He told me… you saw her."

I feel Cat tense.

"I _thought _I saw her." I correct him.

"But… do you think maybe… it could've been her?" He asks. I let out a sigh.

"No, Robbie. I was just seeing things. It couldn't have been her. She's… gone. It's time we moved on." I say softly. I feel Cat relax a lot and then the feeling of her small arms wrapping around my legs.

"Really? You really think that? You?" He asks.

"Yes." I nod, my voice shaking slightly.

"Tori." I hear as Bev comes by the table, and Cat tenses again. As if this couldn't get any worse. "Have you seen Stacy? She's needed back on shift." Bev states.

"I-I haven't seen her. I like she headed toward the kitchen." I answer nervously. Bev ponders for a moment.

"Strange. I just checked there. Maybe we keep missing each other. If you see her, tell her to come find me." Bev requests.

"Absolutely." I nod. She smiles and walks off, and I let out a breath. Then I look at Robbie again. Oh yeah, can't breathe yet. Still, Cat gives my legs a thank you squeeze.

"You know I still think I see her sometimes as well." Robbie admits.

"Oh… yeah?" I tense.

"Yeah… I can't help but think that she's still out there, you know?" He sighs.

"I…. I don't know…" I shift a bit.

"C'mon, Tori. You know what I mean… You have to. You can't have given up on her." Robbie accuses.

"Look, Robbie… You know I'll always… miss her. But maybe it's time we let her go…" I say softly.

"Bullshit." He mutters. "Tori, that's such bullshit. There's no way you could ever let her go. I still haven't, and the only person I know who cared about her more than me is _you_!" Robbie states. I feel myself tense, as does Cat.

"Robbie… I'm not saying I don't still _care-_"

"Oh, you did more than care." He scoffs. Robbie, don't you dare… "You were so crushed after she was gone… so **destroyed**."

"Robbie, don't-"

"I know it's probably not something you want to remember, but I think you need a reality check. You need to recall just how much she means to you." He states.

"That's not necessar-"

"After she… went missing, you were barely even human anymore, Tori. You just put all your energy in locating her, not that you had a lot of that. It was literally eating away at you." Robbie recalls.

"I…I…" I just stammer. It's too late. Robbie's already raised too many questions that Cat will want the answers too. I can tell from how tight she's holding my legs right now.

"We were all so worried about you, Tori… I mean we all went through a period of sadness but you… You were so depressed. You weren't even there anymore. I remember we'd come visit you and you'd just… sit there. You wouldn't respond." He says quietly. I twitch a bit at this. I hardly remember anything from that year. He's right. I wasn't there.

"I overreacted." I breathe.

"No, you reacted just at the level to reflect how much Cat meant to you, which is a lot considering… What you did next." Robbie shakes his head. God damnit Robbie, no.

"We don't need to… talk about that." I mumble.

"No, we do. I think it's important, since now you're here and all better. See how far you've come." Robbie states. Not with Cat right under the table, you jackass! "At first we thought you were better. You were being responsive again… Until we saw the pictures on The Slap…of you… at the parties…"

"Y…yeah…" I shift.

"You were _so_ messed up. Just…. Drunk all the time. I don't think I saw you sober for those few months. And not to mention all the other stuff you did. Didn't you do some drugs?" He asks. I look down, guilty.

"I honestly don't remember." I mutter. I feel Cat rest her cheek against my leg, and I can feel her shoulders rub against me in a strange rhythm. Like when she cries…

"We thought you were going to get yourself killed. Nobody could help you. You were just so shattered… We thought we lost you forever, just like Cat… only different." Robbie sighs.

"…"

"But then you came back. We don't know how, but you did. It took a while but… Here you are." He smiles.

"Here… I am." I force a smile.

"She would be proud of you."

"Th…thanks." I mutter. I highly doubt that, right now. I look across the diner and see Bev still looking around. The damage has already been done here, and I'd hate to get Cat fired as well. "Hey, want to get out of here? The food isn't that great. I wouldn't come here. Ever." I state.

"Oh. Okay. Sure." He agrees. I nod and I have to practically shake Cat off my legs in order to get out of the booth. I quickly shuffle Robbie out but before I leave, I risk a glance back at the table. Cat's looking out at me, tears streaming down her face. Ugh, my heart.

"So… ever been to Yonge and Dundas Square?" I ask, trying to keep my mind off of the look on Cat's face.

"Nope." He says.

"Cool… it's this way." I lead him down the street. We walk and talk for a bit… well… it's mostly just him talking. He talks about his comedy routine and how the rest of the gang are doing. I'm only half listening. My mind's way too preoccupied with Cat. I can't be mad at Robbie… he didn't know.

"Tori?" Robbie waves a hand in front of me. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Hm, what? Sorry, I zoned out." I mutter. He gives a questioning look, but shrugs it off.

"I said we're all having a meet up over Easter. Think you can come?" He asks.

"Oh? That sounds fun. Yeah, I think I could fly back for Easter. It'll be nice to get home and see everyone." I nod.

"Great! That's awesome. I'll let everyone know." He grins. At this point we're heading into the square.

"So, this is Yonge and Dundas." I drawl. "Careful when crossing the street."

"Oh, how cool."

"Some people call it the Toronto Times Square…" I explain.

"Ha! That's funny. I've been trying to figure out jokes that these Canadians can directly relate to. Mind if I use that?" He asks.

"Sure. Throw in a joke about bagged milk while you're at it." I sigh. He gets a look of wonderment on his face. That's when I feel my pocket buzz, and I pull out my phone to see Cat's name bouncing on the screen. I quickly turn it away in case Robbie has periscope eyes and open the message.

_Hey… Can we meet up? I need to talk to you._

I quickly turn my phone to reply.

_Yeah. Where and when?_

I get a reply soon after.

_There's this place called High Park… Meet me there in about half an hour?_

I check the time before replying. Half an hour until I face my past, and what Cat did to me.

_Okay, _see_ you then_

"Um, Robbie… I just got a text from my studio… they need me to come in. Do you mind if I cut this short?" I asks.

"Oh, yeah that's fine! I get that you're busy. It was nice to see you again, though." He smiles.

"For sure. I'll see you again in April. Good luck at your gigs while you're here!" I say to him as I give him a hug.

"Yeah, and you have a good time studio-ing." He says, releasing the hug.

"Give Rex a hug for me, too." I wink. He runs a hand through his hair awkwardly.

"Haha… yeah…"

* * *

I've spent the last while pacing my apartment nervously. I got in and checked the directions to High Park, and now I'm trying to prep myself. I can't lie… What is she going to say? Is she going to be mad? Disappointed? Maybe she'll feel so guilty she'll tell me why she left in the first place. Either way, I'm so nervous.

I check the time again. Time to go. I head downstairs and regret not leaving some time to maybe have a conversation with Ms. Wilkinson. I bet that would calm me down quite a bit. But I head to my car and start following the directions to High Park. When I get there I park and look around. I pull up the map Cat sent me with the mark of where she wanted to meet me. This park was bigger than I thought. I started to walk up a path for a while, until I see her and her flaming red hair standing under a tree next to a giant maple leaf insignia on the ground. She watches me as I approach slowly. I can't read the expression on her face.

"Hi." I say dryly when I get close enough.

"Hey." She mutters. We shift a bit, neither of us knowing where to start.

"I… didn't know this park was here." I state awkwardly.

"Yeah… It's one of my favourite places in the city. During the Spring these trees are covered in cherry blossoms." She explains.

"Oh, really? It must be very beautiful."

"It is." She nods. We shift a bit again.

"I thought your shift wasn't done for a while." I note.

"It's not, but I told Bev I was feeling sick, and she couldn't find me because I was throwing up." Cat mutters. "It wasn't a far stretch…"

"Cat… listen, about what you heard…" I sigh.

"Was it true?" She asks.

"…Yeah, it was." I mumble.

"…Because of me?" She asks, her voice very small. I look away, not knowing how to answer. But my silence was answer enough. "Oh my god… Tori…"

"Look, it's in the past, it doesn't matter." I state.

"No, it matters a lot. Tori, you were… I didn't know it was that bad." Her voice trembles.

"Took me by surprise, too." I fold my arms, hugging myself in the chilly air.

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why would you react… like that. I get being sad, but… Depression? Drinking? _Drugs_, Tori? I never… I never thought… You of all people." She chokes.

"I don't know, Cat. It's just the way I reacted. It's like I lost control… no, that's exactly what happened. I lost control." I explain.

"But _why_?" She reiterates. I shake my head in frustration.

"I **don't know**. I wish I did. I just… I felt like I couldn't go on without you, okay? I don't know why. I just knew that you were very important to me and when you left you… you took a piece of me." I sigh. She shakes her head, her lip trembling. She takes a few steps forward so we were face to face.

"I did that to you?" She asks.

"I did it to myself… I wasn't strong enough without you." I mutter.

"But how was I possibly that important to you, Tori? That you would destroy yourself like that? You could've died. How could someone like me affect you **that **badly?" She interrogates.

"**I don't know**, Cat. I told you. I have no fucking idea. But it happened. I got fucked up. I wasted away in my room. I barely graduated. I drank way more than I should've handled. I took questionable substances. I slept with strangers. _I'm lucky to be alive._" I rant. And then I notice her face.

"You… you slept with strangers?" She gapes. I feel my body go numb. Did I just admit that?

"It wasn't… intentional… I wasn't in control, remember? God, I lost my virginity to a guy I don't even know the name of." I groan. I tried to forget all of that, but now that I'm rehashing it… I don't know. Now that this is all out in the open, maybe I do want her to feel bad. Just a bit. "But then I didn't know the name of most of them. I tried to find comfort in sex. It didn't matter who it was… guys, girls… It didn't work. None of it worked."

"You shouldn't have done that." She glowers.

"Not shit." I scoff.

"No, you _really _shouldn't have. Tori, you… you could've gotten an STD. They could've gotten you pregnant. Oh my god, they could've killed you. Tori. You shouldn't have… You shouldn't…" Her shoulders start to wrack with sobs. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"

Now I feel bad. She looks so shaken up by this news. "Cat… I'm okay now." I sigh.

"But you w_eren_'_t_, because of _me_. Even if you don't know why… oh my god. I can't… I can't believe I did that to you. That wasn't how things were supposed to go. Everyone was supposed to forget me. Oh my god." She cries.

"You're a hard person to forget." I mumble.

"I fucked you over… holy shit I fucked you over so bad." She sobs.

"Cat, stop." I sigh.

"Is that why you didn't work with Andre? I ruined your c_areer_? I made you so depressed that you… you…"

"Cat please stop."

"And then the drinking and drugs and partying and sex and damnit damnit damnit!" She screeches, clutching her head. I grab her shoulders, trying to get her to look at me.

"Cat! Everything's okay _now_!" I state forcefully. She just shakes her head.

"No, no, no… I couldn't have… You wouldn't care that much! I couldn't have done that to you! It had to be something else! Why would you care that much about me?!" She wails. I let out a growl. She's falling into hysterics. So I do the only thing I can think of.

I lean in and press my lips gently to hers.

Her sobs immediately cut off and she falls limp. I pull away and she's giving me a look of shock, her mouth slightly hanging open.

"You kissed me." She says plainly.

"I had to stop you somehow. Cat, I'm sorry I lost control back then but I got back on track again, and I'm not planning on derailing again." I state.

"You kissed me." She repeats in the same deadpan.

"Yeah, just like when you kissed me three years ago." I sigh. There. I said it.

"You… remember that?" She whispers.

"Of course I do… That was one of the last things you ever did… and then you left." I say, my emotions boiling to the surface.

"T…Tori…" She stammers. "I didn't think it would mean anything to you."

"Yeah, well, it did. You gave me confusing feelings and then you left… god, you made me have to face the possibility of being gay _all alone_. On top of everything… Ugh." I scoff. She takes a step back, her eyes dark.

"Don't you dare." She shakes her head. "Don't you dare make me regret that kiss. After all these years, that's the only thing I haven't regretted about the way I left." Cat trembles.

"Then why'd you do it?" I ask. She stays silent. "Am I the reason, Cat? Did you leave because of me?"

"I told you not to ask about that." She snaps.

"Well I'm asking. I don't care anymore, Cat. I need to know if it was because of me. Did you have feelings for me and you couldn't _bear_ them or some stupid shit like that, so you left?" I interrogate.

"**You were the only reason I almost stayed!**" She shouts, tears streaming down her face. "Tori, it took everything in me to leave you in that parking lot! It took everything in me not just kiss you again and stay with you forever!"

"Then why didn't you?!" I shout back.

"I had my **reasons**." She growls.

"Why wasn't I enough? **Why couldn't I have been enough**?" I snap.

"If you had loved me like I loved you, you might've been!"

"You didn't give me the chance! I could have, Cat! After that kiss I was willing to try!" I yell, too angry to acknowledge her small confession. "I would have done anything to keep you with me!"

"I couldn't have risked waiting around for you, Tori! I had already made my decision!" She cries.

"Yeah, and look at what that did!" I spit.

"You didn't have to do that. There's no reason you should have reacted like that. I'm _not worth it_." She glowers.

"Just like I wasn't worth enough for you to stay." I say dryly. She gives me a hard look.

"If you can't let that go, this can't work out." She says quietly.

"You're right. It can't." I mutter. We stand there for a moment, staring each other down.

"…Goodbye, Tori." She says, and then she turns away. She pauses for a moment, before looking back at me. "You shouldn't have kissed me. I'm engaged."

And then she walks away. I thought about throwing something back at her about how she shouldn't have kissed me three years ago, but I'm just too upset. I shouldn't be surprised. I should've known she'd just leave again. She's not reliable… why would I want someone like that in my life anyway?

I stood there for a while, tears frozen to my face, feeling that same piece being ripped from me once again.

* * *

I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking. It's late. Really late. But I don't feel like sleeping. I got home and I literally just cried. I think I stopped finally about an hour ago. I turn my head to check the time. 3:04AM. Ugh.

I can't allow myself to fall into that dark place again. I can't. She was right, she isn't worth it. But at the same time, she is. But I can't let that hold me down. I'm just back where I was a month and a half ago. She's dead to me.

Except she's not. She's alive and… Oh god, how do I tell Vik we need to get someone new for the music video?

This is just so messed up… I should probably just try to get some sleep. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning.

Or I can answer the door. Who the hell is knocking on it this late at night? I _know _I paid my rent this month. Maybe Ms. Wilkinson heard me crying and she cooked me a bunch of things. That would be nice… With the idea of food in my head, I manage to stumble up to the door. God, why does crying make _everything_ ache? I open my door to not find a kind old lady with food at all.

"Cat?" I gape. She's standing at my door, tears streaming down her face.

"You don't have to say anything. I get it. I get it now. I was just sleeping and… and I had a dream. A nightmare. I was speaking at a funeral. Your funeral. Except I couldn't get any words out because I was just so… empty. I was empty without my Tori. When I woke up I still had that feeling. And… and I get it. The way you reacted… I understand now. If it had been you… If you left the way I did… I think I would've reacted in a similar way." She gulps, letting out a breath. "When the feeling passed… And I knew you were alive… I had to come see you. I didn't even wake Barry. I just… I needed to see you, Tori. To say you mean so much to me, and I'm so sorry. I just…" She falls forward, right into my arms as she sobs. I start to cry, too. I thought I was all cried out.

I start walking back slowly with her in my arms so we're not out in the hallway. I reach past her to close the door, and then I stroke her hair and give gentle, soothing whispers of "It's okay. It's alright. I'm here."

"I'm sorry for everything, Tori. I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for kissing you. I'm sorry I can't tell you anything. I didn't want to believe I caused you so much pain. But I did and... I'm just so sorry." She whimpers into my shoulder.

"It's okay. I forgive you." I mumble into her hair. I need her. Right now with her in my arms, I just can't go back to life without her. I can't. If that means putting everything behind me, I'll do it. "And I'm sorry I kissed you."

She shakes her head, pulling it back to look at me. "Don't. I needed it." She croaks before burying her head back in my neck.

"Our friendship means everything to me, Cat." I sigh.

"Same. I don't want to wreck it." She breathes.

"Then we won't." I murmur. Eventually we make it to my bed and I brush the tears away from her cheeks. We lie down, both exhausted.

"I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you." She whispers.

"I forgive you, though." I say quietly. She bites her lip, eyes searching mine. "It was you who got me out of it, anyway."

"How?" She questions.

"Well… it was Jade as well… but she convinced me that you wouldn't want me like that. I guess she was right." I explain, and she actually smiles a bit at that. "I promised myself I would get better for you. Be someone that Cat Valentine would be proud of."

She touches my cheek gently. "Mission accomplished. I'm very proud. Not everyone is strong enough to get out of what you went through."

"Weird… I went a long time thinking I was weak because of it." I sigh. She shakes her head.

"I disagree. You're the strongest girl I know, Tori." She murmurs.

"Thanks, Cat… For everything. And thank you for sticking around." I whisper, my eyes getting heavy. She closes her eyes, nuzzling close.

"I ran away when things got tough once. I'm not going to do it again."

* * *

**Author's Notes: YOU GOT ME FEELINGS EMOTIOOONS, DEEPER THAN I EVER DREAMED OOOOF... Well, I did warn you. Hoo. I can't believe I wrote the majority of this in one sitting. It really wrote itself... and took like 10 hours to do so. Whatever. I knew some of you were waiting for some of the things that happened in this chapter, so I had to release it. **

**Let me know what you think! I love reviews, and I love you for reviewing. Next chapter will be lighter. And don't worry... Tori won't completely drop her curiosity about why Cat faked her death. No matter what, that'll keep biting them in the ass. Tori will find out eventually, as will you. For now, things happened! Many, many things. **

**Fun Fact: I used to figure skate. I don't remember much about it, other than being a farmer in some sort of skating recital, and then skating around in a circle to "Get the Party Started" by Pink. Now-a-days I skate much like Tori did in this chapter. **


	8. Don't Look Down

**Author's Note: Sorry this one took me a while. For those who follow me on twitter or casually check it for updates, you will know I was grievously sick the past week. Therefore it was hard to focus on writing and getting better at the same time. I'm still sick, but I'm on my way to recovery. Either way, enjoy this chapter. Most of which was written whilst very miserable and heavily medicated. Again, enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, nor do I own health. Maybe I will own health again one day, but alas, Victorious shall never be mine. **

* * *

**March 14****th****, 2017**

Comfort. That's what I feel right now. Just a complete, relaxing state of euphoria and it's as if I don't have a care in the world. What a contrast to yesterday when I felt anything but content. But now I do. I feel warm and fuzzy despite the cold air hitting my face. The rest of me is warm, though. Both from my well insulated blankets and from the warm body pressed up to my back. I open my eyes slightly, vision blurry from adjusting to the light. They're dry from crying so much yesterday. Seems like a silly thing, now.

My inner clock tells me its midmorning, plus the light from my window. I don't actually have anywhere to go today unlike last time, so now I can just lay here and revel in the comfort Cat gives me. Her arm is draped lazily over my torso and her hand rests just below my head, fingers slightly curled. I don't remember falling asleep like this, but I have no complaints about waking up this way. She probably rolled over like this at some point in the night, unconsciously cuddling to a source of heat. Again, definitely no complaints. She has to be the softest human being ever.

I stare at her hand for a bit. It's unmoving and limp, her nails painted with what just seems like clear sparkly nail polish. I notice her forefinger twitch a bit and then go back to stillness. I can't help but have my eyes wander to the beautiful, gleaming jewel on her ring finger. A symbol of love and commitment. Ugh, I hate reality checks. Still, she's my friend and that's all I could ever ask for, right? And if our friendship involves cuddling every so often, then hey, why should I complain? Just because I can't really hold her hand while walking down the street, thumb grazing over her soft skin as our attached arms sway in the breeze…

I bite my lip slightly, knowing the image is almost too irresistible to ignore. We're already spooning, for god sakes… a light touch on her hand wouldn't make her unfaithful. I allow my hand to slowly slide up, before softly dragging my fingertips over the back of her hand and up her fingers. My own fingers lace in between hers, my hand folding over to make a perfect fit, minus the bump from the ring. Other than that, it feels right. Like I had imagined. To my surprise, her hand reacts with a light squeeze.

"Tori?" She murmurs, and I can feel her jaw move against my head as she forms the words. "You awake?"

"Uh huh." I yawn, letting the grogginess leave me, but the contented warm feeling stays. "Did I wake you?"

"No, I've been awake for a while. You look so peaceful when you sleep." Cat sighs, giving my hand another squeeze. Aw, so she had her arm around me and watched me sleep this entire time? What a cutie… I hope I didn't do anything embarrassing.

"The joys of having my brain shut off." I mumble before letting out another yawn. Cat lets out a giggle. Her breath brushes my ear and it feels so warm.

"Maybe if you didn't think too much during the day, you could be peaceful more often." She suggests.

"Probably." I sigh. I do think too much. However, if I wasn't thinking now, I'd probably just turn around now and deeply kiss the girl behind me.

I definitely think too much.

"What time is it?" She asks after a bit of time of lying in silence.

"Um… let me check." I say, unfortunately having to pull away from her grasp to find my phone. Lucky, it's plugged in on my nightstand, so I have to lean over her to reach it. A small smile plays on her lips and I unlock the screen on my phone, the time revealing itself. "10:30."

"Really?" Her eyes widen as she flips on her back. I prop myself over her, looking down at her face full of worry. Honestly, it's taking a lot of effort not to just lower myself on top of her right now and pull her close. Damn, I'm in a cuddly mood this morning.

"Yeah."

Her eyes shift as she bites her lip, and then she looks back at me. "May I use your phone?"

"Of course." I nod, reaching back to unplug my phone and hand it to her. I finally push back off her when she sits up.

"Thanks." She smiles at me before dialing a few numbers. Her face drops to worry again as she holds the phone to her ear. Concerned, I sit up close to her, hoping I can provide even half of the comfort she provides me. After a moment, the person on the other side picks up. "Hi… Could you connect me to Barry Miller? … I know he's busy. Tell him it's Stacy… Okay, I'll hold." She places her hand over the receiver. "He's going to be so mad at me."

"You didn't leave a note?" I ask. She shakes her head.

"I should have… but I was in a hurry." Cat gives me a soft look. I reach over a squeeze her shoulder gently.

"I'm sure he'll understand once you explain." I assure her.

"And if he doesn't?" She pouts.

"Buy him flowers." I suggest, half-jokingly. She smiles and rolls her eyes.

"Oh haw haw." Cat chuckles. She jumps as she hears something from my phone, holding it to her ear again. "Hi honey… Yes I'm fine. I just… I had to come see Tori." Cat jumps again as she holds the phone back from her ear, and I can hear Barry's angry voice. Cat tentatively places the phone back on her ear. "I know. I should've woken you or something… I'm sorry… Why? It's… complicated. I just needed to see her… Of course not! Why would you even think that? … Well, I wouldn't… Don't say that. The fault is all mine… Okay, okay… I understand. I'm a horrible fiancé… I'll make it up to you. I promise… Thanks, Barry. I'm sorry I worried you… Okay, I love you… Bye."

She hangs up the phone and lets out a deep sigh. My hand, still on her shoulder, starts rubbing soothing circles into her back. "How'd he take it?" I ask.

"He was just worried, as I thought. He actually thought I left him, or something… which is silly because I left all my stuff there, but I get where he was coming from. I shouldn't have just left without saying anything. I had a very one-track mind last night. I think he'll forgive me, though." Cat explains. I can't help but remember the time she left me and left all her stuff behind... for a moment, I feel for Barry.

"I still think you should buy him flowers." I state. She looks over at me with a smile before flopping back down on my bed. She runs her hands roughly over her forehead and through her hair.

"Ugh, even if he's pissed at me for a few days, it'll be worth it since I patched things up with you." She sighs.

"Aw, Cat." I smile. "I'm sorry he's pissed at all, though. I can't help but feel a bit responsible."

"No. Don't. I was the one who wasn't thinking. Know what's strange, though? He seemed madder at you than at me. I don't get it…" She ponders.

"What? Really?" I ask.

"Yeah. Again, I don't get it. You didn't make me cab to your place at 3AM. But he was all," She lowers her voice, "That Tori girl seems to be occupying too much of your time lately. I swear she makes you into an entirely different person."

"Geez, guess I can't expect any more fancy dinners from him." I sigh. She grins, leaning up on her elbows.

"Don't worry. I'll sort it all out. Or," She puts her arms around my neck suddenly, giving me a sweet look. "You could just buy him flowers."

"Flowers. Check. Does he like begonias?" I ask, gulping at Cat's intimacy.

"Who doesn't?" She laughs, releasing me. She jumps up out of my bed, heading to the fridge.

"What are you doing?" I question, furrowing my brow.

"Making breakfast. I'm the guest and I kind of crashed here unexpectedly… It's the least I can do." Cat states. I tilt my head, heart feeling warmed by the sentiment.

"Cat, you don't have to." I sigh.

"I insist." She looks back at me with a grin. Then she turns to the fridge and opens it. She stares into it long and hard, and then my brain clicks into why. Oh. I'm about to get a lecture. "Tori… why don't you have any eggs… or bacon… or," She closes the fridge and starts popping open cupboards, "Or bread, or bagels, or waffles, or pancakes or _anything_ remotely part of a complete breakfast?"

"Um… it's been a while since I've been to the grocery store." I admit. She turns to glare at me. Here comes the scolding… but instead she just sighs, her look softening.

"What do you usually have for breakfast?" She asks. What? No finger waggling?

"Um… fruit and cereal." I answer.

"Well that's better than nothing." She sighs again. She starts poking around my kitchen, searching for the food I spoke of.

"Cereal is in the cabinet next to the dishwasher. Fruit is in the bottom draw of the fridge." I instruct.

"Thanks." She says, getting to work on gathering breakfast together. As I watch her, a thought flies through my head. Barry says Cat acts different around me… But I kind of thought she acts different around him. Even on the phone just now, it was like her voice dropped a few octaves. Curious…

"Hey Cat…"

"Yeah?" She replies, not looking over.

"Do you… think Barry's right?"

"About what?"

"About you being different… around me." I continue. She stops just as she's about to pour a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, and then she proceeds with pouring.

"Well, yeah." Cat admits.

"Really? How?" I ask.

She puts the cereal away and heads to grab the milk. I hope it's not expired… "I wouldn't say I'm different. I'm just… old. I'm me. I'm Cat. Cat and Stacy were two separate people. When I came here, Cat didn't exist to me anymore. I… reinvented myself. A fresh start, yeah? But as soon as I saw you on Splashface or, especially when you appeared in that alleyway, Cat crept back into my identity. I feel more and more like Cat every day now." She explains. I blink at her.

"And… how do you feel about being Cat again?" I ask hesitantly. She stops what she's doing again, furrowing her brow.

"I don't know yet." She mutters. She shakes something off and then opens the fridge, reaching in the drawer and pulling something out. "Incoming clementine." Cat calls out as she turns to toss the fruit at me. Good thing I'm used to Nicky chucking things at me in the studio. I watch her silently while she takes her own clementine, picks up the two bowls and walks back over to the bed, handing me one. She sits on the bed, tucking a leg under her while she takes a spoonful of Cheerios. "I'm taking you grocery shopping." She states.

Whoop, there it is. "That's not necessary. I know I'm a little low on food now but I haven't really thought about it since you started giving me meals from the diner. I swear I'm usually more stocked." I insist. She swallows a bite, looking up at me.

"Well I want to take you, anyway. Make sure you're getting the best stuff." Cat says.

"Cat, I know how to grocery shop, I swear." I roll my eyes.

"I promise I won't make you dance again." She pleads, lower lip sticking out in a pout as she gives me her puppy-dog eyes. I already feel my pride in independence waning.

"Really? Because honestly that was a little fun last time." I smile.

"Well, you _can_ dance if you want, but you're going to run out of artichokes to buy as an excuse eventually." Cat smirks.

"Then I'll move on to the cantaloupes." I shrug, taking a spoonful of cereal.

Cat lets out a giggle, shaking her head. "So that's a yes to the grocery shopping?" She asks, hopeful.

"Yes. Just don't make me buy anything gross." I wrinkle my nose.

"Yay! I promise!" Cat cheers, nudging excitedly. She was right. She is becoming more and more like Cat every day. I just hope she decides it's what she wants.

I hope can be enough this time.

"Alright, then when do you want to go?" I ask. Cat shrugs.

"Sometime today. Preferably as soon as possible or we won't have anything for lunch." She smirks.

"Planning on hanging around the whole day?"

"Sure am."

"I have no problem with that." I smile. She gives me a bright smile back. "But don't you have work today?"

"Oh… Bev took my sick excuse yesterday very seriously. She wants to make sure it's out of my system before I go back to a job involving handling food. I tried to tell her I'd be fine but… Health and safety regulations, you know?" Cat explains.

"Yeah. I know."

"I feel bad about it, but it freed up my Tuesday." She sighs. She gets up to place her now finished bowl of cereal in the sink.

"Guess we're both pretty flexible then. But there's something I want to do first before we go anywhere." I state before placing my last spoonful in my mouth. Cat quickly bounds over and takes my bowl from me. I swallow quickly and raise my eyebrow. "You know, you don't have to be my waitress."

"Habit." Cat looks at me with a small smile, having placed my bowl next to hers. "What was that?"

"What was what?" I blink.

"The thing you wanted to do before we go anywhere." She elaborates.

"Oh, well," I push myself off the bed, "first I'm going to get ready for the day. I don't know what to do about your clothes…" I trail off, having finally noticed what she's wearing. This time she was better dressed for my place, with some flannel bottoms topped by a very familiar sight. My sweater. She had worn it to bed last night, even when we were in a fight.

"That's no problem. Just swing by my place and I'll quickly get changed." Cat suggests, looking down at her attire. "Oh, since I'm here, did you want this back…?" She starts tugging up at the sweater as if to pull it off. Wait, is she wearing anything under there? Oh god.

"No! No, no, no." I wave my arms frantically. She pauses and I can't help but notice her bare midriff from where she had pulled up. I take a deep breath, tear my eyes away, and place my hands on her shoulders. "I told you, you can keep it. Like… a portable Tori hug for those cold nights." And when your fiancé isn't enough.

She looks at me, and then breaks out into a large smile, letting the sweater fall back down again. "Aww, thanks Tori. I really do like the sweater." She grins. "Can I get a real Tori hug?"

I let out a chuckle and envelop her in a hug, which she snuggles into. Based on our position… I'm about 90% sure that Cat is, in fact, not wearing anything underneath this. The realization alone makes me blush. What was she thinking?!

"Okay, so," I breathe, releasing her and trying not to show how flustered I am, "after I get dressed and before I take you to your place…" I trail off, walking away from her. She looks at me curiously as I place my laptop on my bed, pushing the screen up and fiddling with it until the camera is in the position I want. "How would you like to watch me record one of my Splashface videos?"

I look over at her, and her eyes are bright and ecstatic.

* * *

"_Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur_." Cat browses the shelves, picking up random things she feels fit for my fridge or cupboard, which is a lot more than I expected. I think she wants me fat. Or broke. But I don't care because the way she's casually singing Flo-rida while she shops is just plain adorable. "_The whole club was looking at her._" She tosses in a box of Special K bars. "_She hit the floor!_" And some crackers. "_Next thing you know,_" And why not a whole bag of pasta? "_Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low._"

"Cat, I don't even think my kitchen can physically handle all this food… I don't think my whole apartment can." I sigh.

"I know that. Some of this is mine, too." Cat explains.

"Oh, so this was a shopping trip for you as well?" I raise my eyebrow. "Free trip to and from the grocery store?"

"Tori! No. Well, not originally. But then I got an idea while I was here." She mutters, walking up to a spice rack. She starts examining a few.

"And what's that?" I ask. She lets out a sigh.

"I keep feeling bad about Barry, so I figure I'll make him a really nice dinner tonight." Cat states, placing the spices in the cart.

"That's a nice idea. Think it'll work?" I ask. She pauses, crossing her arms and tilting her head.

"I hope so. I mean. To me, the act of taking the time to carefully plan, prepare, construct, present and serve a nice dinner means something. It's a lot of work." Cat philosophizes.

"You'd think all the magic of that would be taken out after working at a diner for so long." I smirk."

"You'd think." Cat grins.

"Well I think it's a lovely idea. If Barry doesn't forgive you after that then he can check his priorities." And get psychologically assessed.

"Thanks, Tor." She smiles. She starts walking away and I pause, thinking. If she's willing to go through something she considers a very affectionate gesture, he must mean a lot to her… and currently something causing friction in their relationship… is me… She turns when she realizes I've stopped following her. "Hey… what's up?" Cat asks, looking worried.

"Um… Maybe I should back off a little for a while…" I mutter. She tilts her head, coming up closer.

"What do you mean?" She questions. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It's just… I feel bad. You know… that Barry feels I'm taking you away a bit. Maybe I _should _let you have a bit more breathing room." I shudder out. The last thing I want is to see Cat less, but if it's in her best interest…

"Tori." Cat touches my shoulder gently. "That's ridiculous. There's no harm in us hanging out, no matter what Barry thinks."

"Is it no harm, though? I mean, after yesterday… I think it's clear we have some… history. How would Barry feel if he knew you used to be in love with me?" I breathe out, almost not believing the words as they pass my lips. Her eyes go wide and she turns her head away to bite her lip.

"…Listen. That's… in the past. You're a part of my life now. Barry needs to accept that. If he doesn't, then he'll just have to live with it. No matter my feelings for you… whether it's the past or now… You're my best friend. That's that." Cat affirms, and then she swiftly turns and heads down another aisle with the cart. I stand there, blinking for a moment, before forcing my legs to follow her. "Do you think chicken or roast beef would be good?" She asks over her shoulder.

"Uh… Roast beef sounds more 'special occasion' and apologetic." I say meekly, still reeling from her last statement.

"Good point."

"…Hey Cat…"

"Yeah?"

I pick up my pace a bit to catch up with her. "Want to do something next week?" I ask. She turns to me with a smile.

"That's the spirit." Cat nods, patting me lightly on the shoulder. "What were you thinking?"

"Well… I _heard_ it's supposed to be nice next week. While you were up changing in your condo, they were talking about it on the radio." I explain. Her face brightens up.

"Really?"

"Yeah, so, since skating is out, I thought maybe you could Canadianize me more." I explain. She thinks for a moment.

"…Okay. Yeah! Alright, the first day of sunshine where I'm not working, expect me to come kidnap you from the studio." Cat flashes a smile.

"Alright. Vik won't be very happy with you but I look forward to it. Where are you taking me?" I ask, although I'm pretty sure I already know the answer. Just as I thought, she drags her fingers across her lips like a zipper. "You're never going to let me know things a head of time, are you?"

"Not a chance."

Later that night I was reading the excited Splashface comments about the preview of my new song that I had filmed with Cat this morning (she stayed out of the camera), and I was in a pretty good mood about… everything. It was an odd feeling, but welcomed. I don't think I'm the only one changing Cat back to her old self… I think Cat's also changing me. To the brave Tori, the one who wasn't afraid of the future. But where Cat was uncertain, I was sure. I liked the old Tori, the one before Cat went missing. Nearer to 6 o'clock, I got a text message from Cat.

_I burned everything. Now painstakingly ordering Swiss Chalet online._

She's definitely embracing the old Cat.

* * *

**March 22****nd****, 2017**

Holy sunlight. Like, I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but I swear I haven't seen the sun since I got here… not bright like today, anyway. Did you know the sky is blue in Toronto? Because it is. I feel the need to tell you because I was pretty sure it was a perpetual gray. But now with the sun wrapping the city up in a bright yellow blanket, I can almost see an LA resemblance. I mean… minus the temperature. Some people here are stripping their jackets and coats off and just going for a warm sweater, but I'm still not that used to it, yet. Jacket for me. Still, can't beat the feeling of the rays of the sun after being deprived of that Vitamin D for so long. If only it wasn't being spoiled by the studio atmosphere…

"Nicky, you have to be the most irresponsible person on the planet!" Vik fumes. Nicky looks over at him lazily before hoping off her chair and bounding over to him.

"Well, don't you look like you're feeling better?" She pats him on the head before heading to one of the soundboards.

"Yeah, no thanks to you. Tori checked on me every day by calling. Even her friend Cat brought me soup last Thursday. What'd I get from you? Nothing!" Vik scoffs.

"It's not **my **fault you turn into such a big baby when you're sick. You're practically unbearable. What'd you want me to do? Tuck you in and sing you 'soft kitty'?" Nicky rolls her eyes.

"No, but a little consideration for your partner would've been appreciated. Like **respecting my wishes**! Just because I'm sick doesn't give you permission to fuck off for a week. I thought you were passionate about this!" Vik huffs.

"But Vikaaaas, I was tireed!" Nicky whines.

"We're running a business! Of course you're tired! I'm just glad Tori had the sense to post that video! Great idea, by the way." Vik and Nicky both look over at me and I hold up my hands submissively. "Considering the remaining producer she had to work with. At least _someone _takes this work seriously."

I hate when best friends fight.

"Hey, c'mon guys. Can't we move on? Cat gave me some music video ideas and she wanted you to look over them." I state, trying to deflate the situation. Vik lets out a sigh.

"I'll see them. Meanwhile you and Nicky can touch up the track. Can you handle that?" He shoots at Nicky. She sticks her tongue out at him.

"Oh I can. Try not to get sick over there." She jeers.

The majority of the morning was spent that way, with Vik and Nicky giving each other catty comments. It wasn't really an atmosphere I wanted to record in at all, which is why I was so relieved when Cat came bursting through the door early afternoon. I watched her stride by the recording window past Vik and Nicky and they looked up and smiled when she greeted them, then she quickly went through the recording door and threw her arms around me. With the recording of my song still playing through my headphones, I return the hug with enthusiasm.

"Are you here to kidnap me?" I mutter, making sure I turn my head into her skin so the microphone doesn't catch what I'm saying. She gently pushes a headphone away from my ear.

"Mhm." She answers, and I can hear the smile in her tone.

"_Thank god_." I breathe, and she giggles. When she releases me, I take off my headphones and she takes my hand, leading me back into the sound booth, where both Vik and Nicky seemed to have softened considerably.

"So… do you guys mind if I borrow Tori for a while?" Cat asks sweetly. Vik hardens up a bit but Nicky stays all smiles.

"For how long?" Vik questions suspiciously.

"Oh you know… a few hours… all day." Cat admits. Vik stares for a moment, thinking.

"I don't know, we already missed a lot of work opportunity last week and I'd hate to get more behind…" He sighs. Nicky jumps up and roughly digs her knuckles into Vik's scalp.

"Aw c'mon Vik! Lighten up!" Nicky says, flashing us a smile.

"Ow! Jesus, Nicky!" Vik winces.

"You two kids go have fun, we'll hold down the fort while you're gone." Nicky winks.

"God damnit…" Vik sighs. "Yeah, sure. Go."

"Are you sure, Vik?" I ask, worriedly. I don't want to upset him to the point of getting sick again. He really does work hard for me.

"Are you taking her to one of these locations?" Vik asks Cat, waving her music video ideas in the air. She smirks, nodding slightly. Damn, now I wish I had read it, but she made me promise not to look at it yet until she was sure. Ugh, loyalty. "Then I guess it counts as research. Have a good time."

"Thanks. I'll have her back by eleven." Cat jokes as she pulls me out, and I swear I hear Nicky squeal.

"So, can you tell me where you're taking me yet?" I sigh, my hand still clasped in hers… and here I was thinking I wouldn't get to do that.

"You'll see very soon." Cat grins at me.

"Ugh, Cat, I swear…"

"There it is!" Cat exclaims as we're walking. Already?

"What? Where?" I ask, glancing around.

"Nope, it's gone again." Cat smirks. I stare at her incredulously. "Oh, there it is again!"

"Cat… did you hit your head on the way here?" I raise my eyebrow.

"…And it's gone. No, Tori. You're just not being observant enough." She smiles. "Pay attention. It's about to come up again."

I look around frantically, trying to squint my eyes and catch sight of whatever the hell she's talking about. Nothing. "Cat, I don't see a ghost ship or something." I huff.

"Not a ghost ship! Although that'd be cool. Just relax, you'll know soon enough." She assures me. I eye her suspiciously.

"Are you teasing me?" I ask.

"Why would I do that?" She grins. "Come on, down we go."

"Down?" I ask, but my question is answered as she pulls me down the steps of a subway station. "The subway? You know, I could just drive us wherever you want to go."

"Good luck finding parking nearby." Cat laughs.

"Okay, I give. Just tell me where we're going." I sigh. She takes both my hands and leans up close, giving me a sweet smile.

"You said you wanted to see more of Toronto, right?" She says softly.

"Y-yeah." I stammer.

"Then that's where I'm taking you. To see more of Toronto." She smiles, and then she releases my hands to purchase the subway tickets. I run my hand through my hair.

"Why are you being so cryptic?" I sigh.

"Because it's fun." She grins.

"You sound like Nicky." I shake my head. She lets out a laugh but says nothing, turning to head down to a platform. I shake my head, following her. As soon as we get there the train shows up and we quickly push past people to get inside.

"Thankfully it's not rush hour so there's not that many people." Cat notes, taking a seat by the window. I sit next to her and she looks at me, smiling lightly. "You okay, Tor?"

"I'm just going with the flow, Cat." I shake my head.

"Good." She yawns.

"Tired?"

"Yeah." She murmurs before placing her head snuggly on my shoulder. "I've had a lot to do lately with work, and the music video, and wedding planning is starting to get serious… you don't mind if I rest my eyes a bit, do you?"

"Of course not." I smile, casually ruffling my hand through her hair before I can even stop it.

"Mmm. Thanks, Tor." She yawns again, shutting her eyes as the subway pulls away from the station. The dark tunnels allow for a detailed reflection in the window, and I watch our mirrored image as the train moves along. She looks so peaceful in the moment. No wonder she watched me sleep that one time, and she's not even sleeping. She looks like… a happy peaceful. And I'm almost surprised to see how happy I look, too. My eyes are filled with affection and a small smile of contentment curls up the corners of my lips. We both look happy together. Complete.

I quickly shake those thoughts off. No matter how complete we may look and feel together, she's not mine to feel complete with. If she had felt that way towards me still, and knew I'd be willing to give it a chance, she wouldn't be talking about wedding plans… right? Right. So… Feel complete, but not completely.

I can be so deep sometimes.

She shuffles a bit and hugs my arm, making a soft murmur sound. I hope she doesn't actually fall asleep, because I have no idea where we're getting off. Maybe this was her plan from the beginning. See Toronto… by subway. Yay.

Just as I start to relax a bit more and find myself unconsciously resting my head on top of Cat's, a voice announces: "**Welcome to Union Station. Please stand clear of the doors.**"

I feel Cat stir beneath my cheek and she pulls away and stands up, blinking away her short rest. "This is our stop." She says to me with an excited smile. I get up and follow her out of the doors before they close. She stays swiftly ahead and I struggle to keep up, as she clearly knows where she's going and this place seems… intricate. She finally reaches a larger area with small shops and the smell of Cinnabon and Mrs. Fields immediately assaults my senses. My mouth waters.

"Smells good, doesn't it?" Cat smiles back at me.

"For a subway station." I nod.

"This is more than a subway station… this station connects a lot of places by train all across Canada." Cat explains.

"So you're taking me out of Toronto?" I ask quizzically.

"No, silly." Cat giggles. She glances around at the various signs in the area. When she finds what she's looking for, she nods. "But I am taking you out of Union Station. This way."

"Alright…" Better than seeing Toronto by subway. I follow her out of some double doors and up some steps onto street level. She waits for me at the top, and once I reach her she's slow so I can keep pace with her as she leads me down the street. She tilts her head up similar to when it was snowing at Nathan Phillips Square, the sunlight illuminating her face.

"I love the sun… Toronto sure makes you appreciate it when it's out." She sighs.

"Is it dark and cloudy all year 'round, usually?" I ask.

"No, just during the winter. You'll see the sun much more often in the summer… hence, seasons. I know, quite the concept for someone from LA." Cat chuckles.

"How did you handle adapting to all these changes?" I inquire.

"I was baffled. You know me. It took a while to… sink in." Cat admits.

"I can imagine." I smirk, and she gives me an eye roll. "So, can I see this place now?"

"Yep."

"Will is disappear?"

"Nope."

"Great… where is it?" I sigh.

"Honestly, Tori." Cat huffs. "What's the biggest thing you can see right now? The biggest thing in Toronto you can see from basically anywhere?"

And then it clicks. I look ahead, seeing the large, gray tower rising out of the ground and jutting towards the sky. I look up at it and gulp.

"The CN Tower?" I rasp, feeling my mouth go dry.

"Ding ding ding! That's correct! Isn't that exciting?" She beams at me.

"Y-yeah." I stammer, feeling myself go numb.

"This is why I wanted a clear, sunny day. I'm glad you have your jacket because it will be cold and windy up there, but wait until you see the view." Cat gushes.

"Can't wait." I mutter, staring at the tall structure. Okay, confession time. I'm afraid – no – terrified of heights. Solid ground is my best friend. I had to take mild tranquilizers in order to survive the plane flight here… The last thing I want to do is go to the top of some tower that's over _one-thousand feet_. No thanks. No, no. Nope. But why do my shaky legs keep following the redhead leading me to my doom?

"There might be a bit of a wait, but once we get up there we can hang around as long as we want." Cat explains. No. No hanging.

"Sounds good." I mutter. Why am I being so agreeable? Why can't I just tell her I'm afraid of heights?

Because saying that would be like saying "no", and we all know I can't say that to Cat. She's probably been looking forward to taking me up there for a while. I'd hate to burst her bubble… there's nothing to be afraid of. Right? It's an irrational fear. Nobody has ever actually fallen off the CN Tower (I think). Maybe this will be good for me. Or maybe I'll be the first case of someone falling off the CN Tower.

"There's a restaurant up there, too. Maybe we can eat there afterward… it's a little expensive but it would be an experience. It revolves!"

_Revolves_?

"Ha. Let's just take it one step at a time." I say. She looks at me, worry creasing her face.

"Tori, are you okay? You look nervous." She notes.

"Yeah I'm fine. Are _you _okay?" Is the first response I think of. She tilts her head but smiles.

"Yes. Very okay." She affirms. I smile in spite of myself. At least she's happy… I might as well try to enjoy this. And try to not faint.

We bought our passes and waited in line for the elevator silently. Cat was practically bouncing, I was practically dying. But I tried to appreciate the solid ground for as long as I could, because the elevators are getting closer…

"Alright, welcome to the CN Tower. Next group up." A bored guide says to us. We get on the elevator, and when the door closes my hand instinctively shoots to Cat's. She looks at me with a smile, giving a comforting squeeze. She doesn't even know why, but again it does comfort me. As usual.

Until the elevator starts moving up. What's better about this is that the elevator is in a big glass tube so I can see the ground leaving me. I turn away, feeling nauseous.

Finally we reach the top and I practically stumble out of the elevator, pulling Cat with me. "A little anxious, huh?" She raises an eyebrow.

"You have no idea." I sigh. She laughs and shakes her head, and then she guides me to the main viewing area, where I can really see how high I am right now.

Holy. Shit.

"Oh god." I breathe.

"It's gorgeous, right? And it's so clear from the winter air… I don't want to spend outside too much because it's cold, but I'd like to step out for a moment if you don't mind." Cat says, walking around.

"O-Outside?" I stutter.

"Don't worry, there's a safety fence." She assures me. That doesn't help much. Don't look down, don't look down… Then the floor sudden feels different beneath my feet. I freeze, slowly looking down. And all I see is the ground… one-thousand feet below me.

"C-Cat!" I gasp. Her feet appear in my field of vision next to mine on the invisible barrier.

"It's a glass floor! Isn't it cool?" Cat asks. Ugh, vertigo. Toronto is cruel. Canada is cruel. Who ever said these people were nice?

"Uh…huh…" I mumble, still staring at the ground unmoving. My eyes are thankfully torn from the drop by a cool hand on my forehead, pushing my head up. I meet Cat's eyes, and they're filled with worry.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look peckish." She bites her lip uneasily, her hand smoothly running down to rest the back of it against my cheek. "You didn't catch what Vik had, did you?

"No…" I sigh, relaxing into her touch. Even she can drag my crippling fear of heights away. A little bit. She eyes me cautiously, running her thumb over my cheek bone.

"…Okay. But let's wrap it up here soon, just in case." She states. Oh thank god. "Let me just go outside for a bit." Oh god damnit.

"Sounds… good." I swallow, and thankfully she pulls me off the glass floors. Who ever thought that was a good idea!?

And then she leads me to a door, and a blast of cold air hits my face. I momentarily forget my fear of heights and remember my fear of freezing to death, huddling myself into my jacket. "This'll just take a sec." Cat assures me, pulling around a black bag that's over her shoulder. She unzips it, holding out a fairly large, professional looking camera.

"Where'd you get that?" I shiver.

"It's the diner's. It's not one of their bigger equipment, but it'll do for here." She explains, turning it on and holding it up to her eye. "I just want to get some bird's eye view shots of the city for the video. It might work well."

"That's a great idea, Cat." I smile. She really is innovative. Even if she's trying to kill me.

"Thanks… You can take a look around while I do this." Cat instructs, getting too close to the wiring for my comfort levels.

"S…ureee." I say uneasily. I'm still feeling dizzy from my run in with the glass floor. I start to walk, but I keep my head down. This isn't so bad. Just ground. I'm not one thousand feet in the air. Nope.

And then I bump into another tower-goer. I hear a "whoops, sorry!" as I stumble out of the way into the bar separating me from the thin wiring and netting – and the solid ground below. I hang over for a little bit, terrified, before falling back. I stumble to the ground, breathing heavily. That was too much. I'm losing my mind.

"Sorry about that." The guy I bumped into hoists me up. "You okay?"

"No." I pant. "I'm dizzy."

"Uh oh. Hold on, I'll get help."

He leaves and I'm lost there, spinning. When did we get into the revolving restaurant? Why is everything spinning? I'm about to lose my lunch… if I had had any.

"Tori? Are you okay?" I hear Cat come up to me. "Oh my god, Tori. What's wrong?" I feel her hands envelop my arms as she forces me to look at her, and her eyes widen. "Oh shit, you're afraid of heights, aren't you?"

The guy comes back with security. "Hey, is she your friend?" The security asks.

"Yeah, I think the height is freaking her out." Cat answers quickly. You think?!

"Get her away from the edge."

With that order, Cat pushes me up against the far wall, keeping her hands firmly placed on my arms. "Now what?" She asks.

"Find a way to make her relax."

"Tori? Tori… what do you need? Tell me what you need." Cat asks me, but I don't trust myself to open my mouth. I'd probably scream. Or puke. Or both. I just keep staring at her, trying to absorb that usual comfort. She furrows her brow, and then nods slowly. "It'll be okay, Tori. I'm here. I got you." She whispers, pushing against me. She leans up, leaving a gentle kiss on my jaw line. Then she relaxes into my chest, wrapping her arms around me.

She knew exactly what I needed. I felt her support, and the nausea started to fade. I almost forgot I was so high up, so consumed by Cat. Almost.

"I think she's better. Let's move her inside." The security guard says. I feel Cat dislodge from me only to sling my arm around her shoulder and hold me at the waist, leading me inside. Before I know it, I'm back in the warmth and Cat's placing me on a bench on the inside. "Try to get her down when she feels up to it. Here's a water." The guard says, placing the bottle in Cat's hands.

"Thanks for all your help, sir. I'll take it from here." Cat states, sitting beside me. He nods, and walks away. Cat tilts my chin up, looking almost as pale as I feel. "Have some water, Tori." She orders softly. I take the bottle from her and start gingerly sipping at it, but then start gulping it down fast. I had no idea my mouth was so dry. "Feel better?"

"Yeah." I mutter, feeling more embarrassed than better.

"…Are you afraid of heights?" She asks gingerly.

"…Yeah." I repeat.

"You never used to be. You used to be able to perform on the roof of the school fine." Cat notes.

"I know. It wasn't until just over a year after you… left. It would've been around this time, actually." I sigh, cringing at the memory.

"What happened?" Cat asks, concerned.

"Well… I was walking down the streets of LA… and there were these window washers. I wasn't paying them no mind… it was just a normal thing. It was such a normal thing…" I breathe. She rubs my arm comfortingly, and I suck in a breath. I can tell she knows where this is going. "One of the cables snapped, and…"

"Oh, Tori…"

"I saw him hit the pavement. It was horrible. I… I haven't been very good with heights, since. Even seeing people up high makes me nervous." I mumble. Cat pulls me to her in a tight hug, and I rest my head on her shoulder.

"No I don't blame you. That sounds awful. I'm so sorry…" She sighs.

"Can we just get down now? Please?" I request weakly. Cat nods, and she pulls me up with her. I keep my eyes closed the entire way down to the bottom, Cat holding my hand even firmer than when we went up. As soon as we're down, she silently leads me outside and I let out a breath of relief. We find another bench. One that's on ground level.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Cat asks softly. I shake my head. I knew she was going to ask.

"Because you seemed so excited. I don't know. I didn't want to burst your bubble." I sigh.

"…That's stupid, Tori. If you knew you'd have a bad time, you should've said something. We could've done something else." Cat scolds.

"But you really wanted to go there. You seemed so happy about it." I groan.

"Tori. I'm happy anywhere as long as you're with me. Don't forget that." Cat states firmly. I look at her in surprise. She sighs, eyes softening as she touches my cheek gently. "I want you to be honest with me, okay? It kills me to think that I caused you distress."

"Okay…" I sigh. "Sorry. I guess that was pretty stupid."

"Got that right." She smiles.

"Did you at least get some good shots of the city?" I ask.

"Sure did. It'll look great. Too bad you won't be able to watch your own video…"

"I'm not _that _bad. I can see it on a screen." I roll my eyes, and she giggles.

"So I guess this rules out going on the EdgeWalk." Cat sighs.

I'm afraid to ask, but... "What's the EdgeWalk?"

"It's where you're tied to the outside of the tower and you recline around-"

"Oh, hell no." I state, feeling the colour drain from my face again.

"I thought so. Alright, no more heights. Noted." Cat smirks. She touches my face again, this time judging how I feel. "You still seem peckish. Do you want another water? There's vending machines over there…" Catt offers. I click my tongue a bit. Yeah, still dry.

"That'd be nice. Thanks." I nod. She smiles and pats me gently on the head. As she gets up to leave, I feel a continual vibration in my pocket. Probably Vik asking how much longer I'll be, or Nicky asking me if I've got Cat in my bed yet… but I pull it out to check anyway. Unknown number. Huh.

"Hello?" I ask as I answer it.

"**Hello, is this Tori**?" The voice answers. I pause for a moment. I've heard the voice once, but I'm pretty sure…

"Barry?" I question.

"**Yeah. I had Stacy give me your number in case I can't reach her, since, well… she's usually with you. And I can't reach her. Is she with you?**" Barry asks.

I hesitate before answering, unsure if I'm giving away information I shouldn't… but he's her fiancé. "Yeah, she is." I reply. I hear a deep sigh over the phone.

"**Well, can you tell her to contact me as soon as possible? I got a call from our wedding coordinator. They were supposed to meet today to discuss designs and… Stacy never showed up.**" Barry explains. My eyes widen.

"Oh, wow."

"**Yeah. Glad you seem just as surprised as I am**." Barry sighs.

"I'll tell her right away." I state.

"**Okay, thanks Tori. Bye, now**."

"Goodbye." I mumble, hanging up the phone. At this point Cat's coming back with my water, and I look at her quizzically. "That was Barry who just called."

Cat stops, raising an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Yeah… he said you missed your meeting with the wedding coordinator." I explain as Cat hands me the bottle of water. She runs a hand up and down her arm uneasily.

"Oh, yeah… Guess I forgot." Cat mutters, and then she sits back down beside me. I watch her carefully, silently judging her body language.

For some reason… I'm not sure if I believe her.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Done. It's done. In your face, sickness. I didn't have to wait until I was healthy to write this. HA! Ehem... Anyway. This chapter was a bit lighter than the last chapter, as you can tell... and It was more cuddly than I expected because I apparently like to write about cuddles when I sick. Or just always. Either way... Hope it was cute. **

**Swiss Chalet is a Canadian restaurant, by the way. It has a lot of home-made style of foods, and it delivers. Therefore it's one of my favourite restaurants and I order from there more than I care to admit. I haven't been to the CN Tower in forever, though. I should really go back. Actually, this whole story makes me want to take one of those hop-on-hop-off tour buses of Toronto. I live so close that I kind of take it for granted. In the meantime I will vicariously live through Cat and Tori. Let me know if you're enjoying your tour of Toronto-by-femslash so far, or if I'm making Toronto sound horrible. I should just turn this into an actual book. Toronto by Femslash. Oh god I need to cut back on the cold medicine...**

**Fun Fact: I've been to Union Station many times... it's the main way I get into Toronto. One of the things on my bucket list is to take a train ride across Canada on the VIA Rail. But it's hell-a expensive. Somebody give me money so I can live my dreams... (PS the CN Tower kept disappearing because it was going behind buildings as they were walking. In case you didn't know. Okay, goodnight)**


	9. Fantasy Vs Reality

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN IT. OKAY? I DON'T. I JUST DON'T. You can't prove anything. Shifty eyes.**

* * *

**March 27****th****, 2017**

I can see her so clearly in my head… the smooth skin, the bright smile, the gentle touches… I can picture myself cascading my hand slowly down her arm, hand getting slower as I start to run out of room. I don't want to lose contact. Not yet. Not ever. I can remember her smell – her sweet smell. Like candy apples and… something else. Something flowery and familiar. I can feel her breath, warm against my neck. Her lips feel soft against my pulse point and I close my eyes, my other hand grasping at her waist tightly. I can imagine the way she sounds, a small gasp escaping her throat as she pushes up into me. I can feel the softness of her hair along my cheek, dragging my face down to meet her eye level. I can see her deep, sparkling irises. The windows into her soul that she opens up for only me, letting me in… I imagine her breath again, heavy against my cheek and she leans up closer, eyelids fluttering. I can almost hear her voice as she begins to close the distance between our lips. "Tori…"

"**Tori**!"

"Wha, what!?" I gasp, falling back on my chair. I groan, my eyes meeting the ceiling after my back roughly hit the floor of the studio. Not a fun way to be brought back to reality. Vik and Nicky's faces appear above me, Vik looking concerned and Nicky looking amused.

"You okay there, Tori?" Vik asks, reaching a hand out. I grab it gratefully and he pulls me up effortlessly. I brush myself off and let out a breath.

"Yeah… I'm good." I sigh.

"You sure there, T? I mean… you look a little flushed." Nicky grins. I roll my eyes, standing my chair back up and looking at my lyrics that I barely even worked on before I got lost in thought. "What were you thinking of?" She continues.

"Nothing." I mumble, sitting back down.

"More like… _Who_." Vik jumps in. I whip my head around to gape at him and his stupid grinning face.

"Vik!" I snap. Nicky, however, looks at him with pride.

"I knew I was friends with you for a reason." Nicky smirks, resting an elbow on his shoulder. She turns her attention back to me. "I think the question _is _who were you thinking about?"

"Leave me alone." I mutter, trying to get back to writing.

"Was it… someone with an animal name? Let's see… Fish? No, that's not it… Bird? Nope, no… Dog? Ooh close but I don't think that's it either…" Nicky ponders teasingly. I let out a huff, smacking my head against the desk.

"Nicky…" I groan. She snaps her fingers together.

"Oh! I know! I bet you were thinking about someone named Cat!" Nicky announces, and I groan again. "And judging by how zoned out you were, and how red your face is, and how you were chewing on your lip a little bit… it must have been an intense daydream." Even though my face is against the wood of my desk, I can almost hear her wink. More groaning.

"Okay, okay. We've had our fun." Vik chuckles. Ugh, at least he's still sort of on my side…

"So has T, apparently." Nicky states.

"You are the devil." I grumble.

"Best comparison I've ever heard." Vik grins, and I lift my head in time to see him walk away to shuffle through some filing cabinets. "But actually, lay off her. Tori knows not to have those kinds of fantasies about people due to be married to someone else. Right?"

"R-right." I stammer. Nicky lets out a huff.

"Way to make her feel bad, Vik." She shakes her head.

"I'm just saying. It's a bad path to follow. If you let yourself get consumed with the fantasy, you'll eventually be unable to stand the reality. Trust me. There's a fine line between friendship and relationship… You don't want to cross that here." Vik warns.

"And why not?" Nicky scoffs.

"No, he's right… I can't let myself think about her that way. It'll get weird when I'm around her and I can't…" I trail off, running my hands through my hair. Vik frowns, coming back over to pat me on the shoulder.

"It'll be alright. Just hold out a little longer. These feelings will fade. Don't let them control you. It's your brain." Vik assures me. I give him a grateful smile.

"Thanks, Vik."

"I still think you should just bang her." Nicky shrugs, walking away. Vik snaps his head towards her.

"You have no morals, do you?" He sighs.

"Since when are morals fun?" Nicky calls back. Vik shakes his head, looking back at me.

"Why don't you head on home now?" He suggests.

"What? No, I hardly got any headway on new music. I'll be focused. I promise." I state.

"It's not that. Have you been paying attention to what the news is saying about the weather recently?" Vik asks. I look outside. Even though it's still pretty early, the lighting in the city seems to be dark and foreboding. Even with the lazy flakes of snow gently drifting to the ground.

"Yeah. There's supposed to be a snowstorm tonight, right?" I recall. Turns out Cat was spot-on when she said the weather could be bi-polar. It feels like just a few days ago it was nice and sunny and almost something that resembled warmth… oh wait, that's because it _was _like that a few days ago.

"Exactly." Vik nods. "I don't want to get caught up in work when it starts to pick up. What was it supposed to be?"

"Thirty to forty centimetres, I think." Nicky answers from the booth.

"That was it. Not a big deal for more northern places, but here that amount is enough to cause some problems. They're warning people to stay in and keep warm." Vik explains. I let out a huff.

"It's almost April." I sigh.

"That's Southern Ontario weather for you." Vik shrugs. "Anyway, head home. Stay safe. Call if you need anything." Vik gives me a hug.

"Thanks. I'll see you when the ice age is over?" I inquire.

"If we find enough mammoth meat to sustain us." He grins.

"Take care, kid. Have fun daydreaming." Nicky smirks.

"Have fun daydreaming about me daydreaming." I call out as I start to walk out the door, hearing Vik's laugh echoing in my ears.

It really is cold out. Just when I think I'm used to it, Canada seems to try and push my limit. But I think it's the wind that's really getting to me. Wind chill, the news called it. Makes it feel a lot colder than it actually is, and it's what can freeze your skin just for being outside too long. I'm very grateful when I get to the warmth of my car, and then the warmth of my musty apartment building. I know it's an illusion, though. It's just slightly warmer in here than it is outside, and I'll be shivering soon enough. Heading up to my apartment, I run into my sweet neighbour, carting a bunch of bags behind her.

"Ms. Wilkinson! Do you need any help?" I ask, rushing over to take a bag from her.

"Oh Tori! Thank you, dear. That's very kind of you. If you could just help me bring these bags down to the lobby so I can load them into the cab…" She requests.

"Certainly." I nod, grabbing a couple bags and leading back to the elevator. "You're not moving, are you?"

"Goodness, no. I'm staying at a local home until this storm blows over. Usually I can hold my own but, as you've noticed, this place doesn't have the best insulation. Plus, the home is having a snowstorm bingo tournament. I can win a new crockpot." Ms. Wilkinson grins.

"I'm sure you will win it." I laugh, helping her off the elevator.

"I would invite you but… there is an age restriction…" She sighs.

"That's okay, Ms. Wilkinson. I'll be fine." I assure her.

"Make sure you are. Oh, and I left you a present outside your door. I hope you like mushroom quiche." Ms. Wilkinson says hopefully.

"You're the absolute best!" I smile, and she smiles back.

"It's no trouble. I wanted you to have a warm meal for tonight… now just help me get all this to the taxi…" Ms. Wilkinson mumbles.

"Tori! Hi!" I hear. I look at the door to see a rosy-cheeked Cat. I blink at her, having not expected her.

"Oh, it's your friend! Cat, right?" Ms. Wilkinson grins.

"Yeah! I um… You look surprised. I texted you but I guess you haven't looked at your phone yet." Cat shifts slightly. "Here, let me help." She offers, also taking one of Ms. Wilkinson bags after dropping her own huge bag.

"Ah, you girls are so helpful and lovely. And they say there's no hope for the new generation." Ms. Wilkinson chuckles. Both Cat and I reach the outside and locate the cab, going to load it up. I'm happy to help but, how many bags does this woman need? And why is Cat here? Not that I'm complaining.

"I hope you don't mind… I heard about the snow storm so I decided to come and, you know… I don't know. Get you prepared?" Cat says awkwardly.

"Cat, that's sweet. Of course I don't mind." I smile, she smiles back.

"Oh good, you'll be in good hands." Ms. Wilkinson sighs. After we load the cab, she touches Cat's arm lightly. "Do try to keep her warm."

"I'll do my best, ma'am." Cat grins, and I feel myself blush. Ms. Wilkinson gets in the cab and we watch as it takes off. Cat turn to me, a small smile on her face. "May I come up?"

"Well I'm certainly not going to turn you away." I chuckle.

"Good, because it's starting to get bad out here." Cat looks worriedly around at the thickening snow. We head back inside and she picks up her giant duffle bag as we head up to my apartment. I make sure to pick up the quiche before unlocking the door as letting us both inside. Concerned record producers, quiche and Cat… I don't think I've clearly expressed how grateful I am to have the people in my life that I do.

"Did you… bring a dead body?" I ask, staring at the large duffle bag. She laughs, shaking her head.

"No… these are just some things to help make your first major snow storm a little easier." Cat explains, unzipping the bag.

"Cat… You didn't have to do this." I sigh. She stands up, giving me a serious look.

"Victoria Vega, I have made it my life mission to make sure your transition into Canada goes as smoothly as possible. This includes making sure this cold-ass apartment has enough things to keep you warm." Cat argues. I feel a shiver at her using my full name.

"Hey, I thought you liked my cold-ass apartment." I tease.

"Not when it's cold as ass." Cat smiles, reaching down into the bag again, taking a serious tone in her voice again. "Besides… I know I didn't handle my first snow storm very well."

"Really?" I ask, taking a step closer.

"Yeah. I was… on the streets at the time. It was scary. To this day I don't know how I didn't freeze to death. Honestly, as much as I love snow… snow storms kind of freak me out now." Cat mutters. My eyebrows crease in pity. Poor Cat.

"That sounds awful. I'm so sorry." I sigh. She stands up with two candles in hand, a smile back on her face.

"It's fine. I just wanted to make sure you didn't have the same experience." Cat explains. "Candles, in case the power goes out. Sometimes the weight of the snow makes wires snap."

"Ooh, what scents?" I ask.

"Apple cinnamon and… warm vanilla sugar." Cat reads off the labels.

"Sounds delicious." I laugh. She shrugs, putting them to the side.

"I wanted warm scents. And if those don't help the atmosphere…" Cat continues, reaching in a very bulky part of the bag. She pulls out a large black machine, and I stare at it. "Portable space heater. Also battery powered."

"Handy." I smile.

"_And_…" Cat swoops down again.

"You spoil me." I shake my head.

"Snuggies." She grins, holding out the soft, sleeved material. I can't help but laugh.

"Oh my god, Cat." I chuckle. She puts them to the side, giving me a soft look.

"Think it'll help?" She asks.

"Oh definitely." I smile.

"Great! And I also have…" Cat looks down at the bag again, and I gape at her.

"Seriously?"

"_Yes_. I also have hot chocolate and apple cider packets, if the power stays on." Cat pulls those out as well, and there's a very large handful of them.

"Cat… this is incredible. You're too good to me." I shake my head, enveloping her in a hug. She lets out a sigh, relaxing into me.

"Anything to help…" She mumbles.

"Do you want to stay a bit? Ms. Wilkinson made me mushroom quiche." I smile.

"Ooh, that sounds good." She smiles, pulling away from me, but then she worriedly looks over at the window. "But…"

"Would you rather make sure you get home safely?" I ask. "I got snow tires finally, so I could take you home."

"You got snow tires when winter's almost over?" Cat smirks.

"Hey, apparently I needed it." I scoff, and she giggles. Then she bites her lip.

"Um… no, I think I can stay for a bit." She mutters.

"You sure?" I question.

"Yeah. Mushroom quiche me." Cat smiles. I pick up the box of the lovingly made quiche and read the instructions Ms. Wilkinson also lovingly left under the lid of the package. I stick it in the oven, and while I'm doing this I notice that Cat keeps nervously looking at my window, which is steadily filling up with more snow.

"Are you sure you don't want me to take you home now, before it gets too bad?" I ask. She looks over at me with a smile.

"No, it should be fine. I want to stay. It just makes me nervous, that's all." Cat assures me.

"Cat…"

"Yeah, Tori?" She gives me an innocent look.

"Did you come here because you were worried about me, or worried about you?" I ask. She stares at me for a moment before giving an embarrassed smile.

"Both." She admits. "I feel a bit better knowing you'll be okay without me here, though."

"And how will you be?" I interrogate.

"I'll probably just curl up into a blanket in the corner of the couch and watch The Parent Trap until it stops snowing." Cat ponders.

"The old one or the Lindsay Lohan one?" I ask.

"Lindsay Lohan." She smiles.

"Good choice… although I suppose either would be good. What does Barry do?"

"He actually spent most of his childhood growing up in Montreal, so the snowstorms around here are pretty underwhelming for him. He usually just makes me a hot chocolate or apple cider and then works from home." Cat explains. What? Meanwhile she's freaking out on the couch with only a young twin Lindsay Lohan to comfort her? When Cat's upset you hold her, Barry. You hold her good.

Look at me getting all protective. Blah.

"Well I don't have the Parent Trap, but I can throw the kettle on for you. And if you want I can re-enact the movie." I offer with a sheepish smile.

"That would be quite the sight. You can do the handshake?" She smirks.

"I can try. And how's this?" I clear my throat, dropping into a poorly done British accent. "I love oreos. At home I eat them with peanut butter." I recite a line from the movie.

"Bravo. I feel better already." Cat laughs, then she jumps when a strong gust of wind makes the window creak. I let out a sigh, dropping the shades on the window so we can't see outside. I turn to her, looking concerned.

"Cat… I won't let you freeze to death." I state.

"I know. I won't let you, either." She smiles. "I'll… have an apple cider, please."

"Great. I will too." I smile, turning to put water in the kettle. After our mugs are made, I turn to see Cat has sat on my bed, hugging her legs. I suddenly have a flash back to when she was on my couch back in LA, hugging her legs and looking distracted. I frown slightly, figuring this storm was bothering her more than she let on. Of course… being stuck in weather like this while outside? It's cold enough in here as it is, and Cat already had the heater going. I walk over to her, holding her mug out. "Here."

"Thanks." She smiles gratefully, cupping it with her hands and taking a few sips. I really wish I had The Parent Trap right now. _But_ I **can** do something that Barry seemed to ignore. I take a couple sips of my apple cider, and then I place it on the side table. She watches me as I grab one of her snuggies and she chuckles as I hold it out to her. Smiling, she slips it on and then shuffles back against the headboard. Then I think I surprise her when I sit beside her, pulling her against me and resting my chin on her head. She's still for a moment, as if she doesn't know how to react. Maybe I'm crossing a line by holding her, but I think this is better than her feeling exposed to the storm outside. I can even feel her trembling a bit. Eventually she relaxes, leaning back into me. "…Thank you, Tori." She mumbles.

"Feel better?" I ask softly.

"Yeah… better than The Parent Trap." Cat sighs. Ha. See? In your face, Barry.

We sit there silently for a bit, her gingerly sipping at her warm drink and me giving her a squeeze every time she'd tense at the sound of the wind. I become aware of the scent of the flowery candy apple smell that I've become accustomed to, only intensified by the apple cider. Probably a horrible idea, but I close my eyes and let my mind wander. And wander it does… back to Cat's skin, the way she feels in my arms, the sound of her voice, the smell of her hair. I'm hyperaware of it all thanks to the tangible presence. Vik was right. I should squash these fantasies when they appear. It can only lead to heart ache… but… she's just so _here_, and… and…

Letting my mind wander was definitely a bad idea.

"Tori?" She snaps my mind out of it. I open my eyes and discover my head had slipped down by her head and was now resting against her shoulder – lips first. Ugh… I don't remember doing this. It's okay… act like it's not a big thing. You meant to do this. Ignore how much you want to kiss her shoulder…

"Mhm?" I murmur. I wonder for a moment if she's going to comment on the awkward placement of my head, followed by a speech about how she should leave because my intimacy is making her uncomfortable…

"What are you doing for Easter?" She asks. I almost let out a sigh of relief. Of course Cat wouldn't mind my lips against her clothed shoulder… she's a cuddly person in the first place. She's said her feelings are in the past, and I never outright admitted I had any for her. God, I can be so paranoid sometimes.

"I never told you? I'm going back to LA for that weekend." I explain, finally removing my lips.

"Ohh. I was going to invite you over to have Easter with Barry and I, but a trip back home sounds better." She says.

"Thank you for the offer." I smile.

"Just going to see your family?" She asks.

"That, and the old gang…" I explain. She perks up a bit at this.

"Really? All of them?"

"Yeah. Remember when Robbie made that little… visit? He told me about a huge get together during Easter. I've gotten e-mails since… everyone's taking time off to be there. Jade, Beck, Robbie, Andre…" I list off.

"Oh." She mumbles. I crane my head, trying to catch a glimpse of her facial expression.

"You don't sound happy." I comment.

"No, I am. For you. But I wish I could go. I miss everyone more than you can even believe…" Cat sighs.

"Well, I think they'd be more than happy to invite you." I tease.

"Tori." She huffs, but I can hear a smile in her voice. "Imagine me just showing up?"

"And on Easter… It'd be practically biblical." I joke.

"Almost makes it worth it." She giggles. "But really, I hope you have fun. Say hi to everyone for me… You know, without actually telling them it's from me."

"Your secret's safe with me, like I said." I assure her softly. Although, I know Cat will probably be brought up as she usually is at these get-togethers. It'll be difficult to keep my mouth shut. But I'll do it for Cat.

"You're the best." Cat sighs, snuggling back into me. She turns her head, tilting it slightly to leave a lingering kiss on my shoulder. I feel my cheeks fill with heat, and I regret wearing something thick like a denim jacket… why couldn't I have worn a tank top…

Beep.

"That's our quiche." I murmur, pulling away from her. She gives me a soft smile as I head to the oven, taking it out at letting it cool. Not that that will take very long out here… I was much warmer tangled up in Cat.

"Hello?" I hear her say. I furrow my brow, turning to her.

"Hi?" Then I mentally slap myself. She's holding her phone to her ear. She gives me a smirk and I know she'll be teasing me when she hangs up.

"Yeah I'm still at Tori's. She's feeding me and then I'll be back home." Cat explains, and I know it's Barry on the other end. I can tell by the way her voice drops. She listens for a moment, chewing on her lip. "Oh… Really? But the news said it's not supposed to get bad for another few hours…" She trails off. I head over to the window and peer through the blinds, and my eyes widen. You can't even see outside. It's just all… white. I look away from the window to look at a worried Cat. "What? Sorry, the signals choppy… I don't know. I don't really want to risk it if it's that bad already… You know how I am with snowstorms… Yeah, I do have some stuff, just in case this happened… No! I didn't plan this. Barry, I can't help the weather. And I can't help how I feel about it… So you want me to stay here?" Cat glances up at me and I give a simple nod. "Tori's okay with it. Thanks, Barry… You stay safe, too. Lots of love." She hangs up and lets out a sigh.

"Not worth making the trek to your condo?" I ask.

"Barry says it's already really bad. Tons of accidents on the Gardiner… He was calling to see if I had overnight stuff because he doesn't want me out in this." She explains.

"Well that's nice of him. Do you?" I question. She smiles shyly.

"Yeah…"

"Then I guess this will be our third sleepover in this apartment." I smile.

"So many Funny Nugget opportunities." Cat laughs. "And yes, 'hello' to you too, Tori." She smirks. I shake my head, turning back to the quiche.

"Oh shut up. I didn't know you had your phone out." I mutter, cutting her a slice.

"I know. It was still cute and funny." Cat appears beside me. "That looks delicious."

"I need all of Ms. Wilkinson's recipes." I state. She tilts her head.

"Can you cook? I don't remember having any of your cooking." Cat ponders.

"I… I try, okay? Here, take your quiche." I huff, handing it to her. I wouldn't say I'm a bad cook when I try, it just sometimes turns out a bit more… abstract than I anticipated.

"Thanks." She chuckles. She takes a fork full and her eyes brighten. "Oh my god. Please get the recipe." Cat gushes, and I can't help but agree as I take my own bite.

We eat and talk and I try to distract her from the storm. I think I'm doing a pretty good job since she seems to be totally focused on me and what I'm saying, rather than the wind outside. We're huddled by the heater and wrapped in snuggies, and she doesn't seem to need to be held again… but I will if she needs it.

"So I have a question…" Cat starts.

"I may or may not have an answer." I state.

"In this building, there's you…"

"Yep."

"Ms. Wilkinson."

"Correct."

"Your creepy superintendent…"

"That's right."

"Who else?" She asks.

"I…" I pause for a moment, scrunching my eyebrow.

"Well there's other doors out in the hallway other than yours and Ms. Wilkinson's, but I've never seen anybody else." Cat notes. I stare at her for a minute.

"You know what… I haven't either. Great. Now this building creeps me out." I sigh.

"Sorry." Cat giggles. And then there's a particularly loud gust of wind, and the lights flicker for a moment. Then we're enveloped in darkness.

"…Okay, now I'm really creeped out." I state, trying to adjust my eyes to the newfound darkness. It's pitch black in here. "Cat, you okay?" Silence. I'm about to say something else, but I sense some movement, and then a soft body plops itself in my lap, arms carefully wrapped around my neck.

"You don't mind if I just kind of… join you over here, right?" Cat whispers. I slink my arms around her waist, holding her protectively.

"Hey, you're safe with me." I assure her. Although, I admit the darkness and the sound of the wind and snow hitting the building are a little freaky. Thank god the heater is battery operated.

"I know." She mumbles, hugging close. "Sorry I'm such a baby about this."

"It's fine, Cat. You're not being a baby." I sigh.

"Barry sometimes thinks I'm overreacting… I always overreact." She mutters. In some ways, she's right. She can be sensitive and take things the wrong way when it isn't a big deal. But…

"You're not overreacting. Cat, if something upsets you, no matter how big or small, then it's a big deal to me." I state. My eyes are adjusting a little better, and I can see her eyes look up at me.

"Why?"

"Because you were upset about something three years ago, for a long time. I should've taken it more seriously. I should've done something more to make it better." I mutter. She's silent for a moment.

"Tori… no one took it more seriously than you. Please don't tell me you blame yourself for my leaving… for not cheering me up." She touches my check gently, and her facial features come into focus. Her eyes are heavy, eyebrows raised, lips turned into a slight frown. I look away, feeling vulnerable under her gaze. Sometimes I swear she can see right through me, meanwhile she's a complete mystery.

"I did blame myself for a long time. I should've chased after you in that parking lot." I admit, tears stinging my eyes. She tips my head to look at her, so she can search me. Read me like a book.

"I didn't expect you to." She sighs.

"You should've. I should've been there for you. Maybe then, you wouldn't have felt like your only option was to leave." I disclose. She shuffles closer, taking my chin firmly between her fingers.

"Listen to me. At the time it seemed like the only option. You did all you could. Trust me. You… you saved my life, Tori." Cat admits. I stare at her, deeply into her eyes.

"Cat…" I breathe, moving my hand up to take her hand around my chin in mine. I push it gently against my cheek, running my thumb over it and closing my eyes.

"All those days you would spend a little extra time to make sure to ask if I was okay… every time you told a lame joke… all the ice cream you bought me, the movies you would rent for me… I could see how much you wanted me to be happy. I'm sorry I couldn't be as happy as you wanted me to be, but you have no idea how each of those small gestures kept me going each day. When I was going through the worst, most stressful and devastating time of my life… you had no idea what was going on and you were still there for me." She reveals. She gently runs her other arm down my arm softly, watching it as she does so.

"I had no idea." I tremble. I was so close to a real tragedy. I wish I knew why, but I know I can't ask. If it was that bad…

"Now you do… and I got out. And now I'm… Right now I'm happier than I've ever been." Cat murmurs. "So you did your part. Believe me."

"I…" I feel my mouth dry up, overcome with what she just told me. At the same time, I don't think I'll ever stop replaying that moment in the parking-lot, imagining what would have happened if I went after her. She runs her fingers up my arm again and I find myself grasping gently at her waist.

"I don't think I ever thanked you. So… Thank you." Cat whispers, then she presses her lips to my cheek, lingering there for a while. I shut my eyes, feeling my heart pound faster. I feel like it's going to jump out of my chest. My eyes open again when she pulls back, but she stays so scarily close. So close, our foreheads are touching and I can feel her hot breath on my lips. I'd just have to tip my head up a little bit. That's all I'd need to do. I think she knows it, too, because we're very still and silent, almost tense – yet something about this moment feels so right, like it should progress further.

Probably hormones.

Our breath mixes in the small space between us. Her hands move up and wrap around my neck once again, fingers tangled and tense at the base of my neck. I don't know if that's an encouragement, or she's trying to anchor herself to keep herself from going past the point of no return. Because I know if I kiss her now… I don't know if I'll be able to stop. Maybe she's not thinking about kissing at all. Maybe she's just enjoying the moment with her friend. And honestly, I think that's the only thought keeping me from closing the distance right now.

Maybe I'm being delusional.

She rocks a moment in my lap and the movement against my thighs causes me to suck in a breath, heat creeping up my spine. She notices my lungs' betrayal, her eyebrows furrowing. I shut my eyes at this, my breath heavy. Better. Now it's just like a fantasy… her fingers trailing down my back are just a figment of my imagination. So is the feeling of the skin of her waist, my hand having somehow reached around the snuggie and hiked up her shirt a little. Her small breath hitch at this contact isn't real. Her hands grasping at my hips and clawing to my thighs aren't real either. Just like when her body moves up a little, when I feel her breath shudder a bit as her lips so gently touch mine – but it's not a kiss. Not really. They're just so gently touching, both our mouths hanging open lightly. She's trembling, as if begging me to follow through. And this is a fantasy, so I should…

But it's not. All of this is real. And I could really taste her right now if I really wanted to… But I don't. Not like this.

"C…Cat…" I breathe, the skin of my lips brushing over hers slightly. "We… we can't…"

"Can't… what?" She husks, and there's almost a sense of frustration in her voice. And pain.

You have no idea how much I want this right now… Want her. Everything in me is screaming at me. But I don't want to wreck this even more… Vik was right. I can't… feed the fantasy. Especially with reality. Even though she seems to be begging me right now, she can't really want this. The storm is fucking with her brain, and she's looking for comfort, and I'm the closest thing. And I would want her to really want this…

And I sure as hell don't want to turn Cat into a cheater.

"Sit… in the darkness." I rasp out. I pull back, and it's like she collapses back, as if she just ran a marathon. I shakily get up, ripping off the snuggie. My temperature is suddenly way too high right now. I practically blindly find my way to the kitchen and fiddle around for the barbecue lighter, nearly cutting myself on a knife in the process. I try to settle myself down as I use the lighter to light my way to the candles, lighting them and placing them down around where we were sitting. The scents fill my nostrils and I sit back down, risking a glance at Cat. Her chest is heaving slightly, and the warm light flickering against her face reveals a faint blush. She looks… beautiful, and full of desire.

Fuck. I just lit candles. How much more romantic can you get?

"That's better." I swallow. No it's not. You just probably made it worse.

"Yeah…" She fidgets her fingers with the hem of her pants. I notice her snuggie is off, too… and her blouse has slightly fallen down one shoulder. Don't stare, Tori… "Thanks for… protecting me. Against the storm."

"Thank you for protecting me. You've made my first snow storm much more enjoyable than it would've been." I smile. I mean it could've been more enjoyable if I had just clutched the back of her head and – damnit, Tori! No!

"No problem. Glad I could help." She smiles, looking down. I reach out and touch her knee for _whatever reason. _

"And hey. I'm glad you're better now." I say sincerely, quickly retracting my hand when her head snapped to stare at it.

"I am… Hey Tori…?" She starts.

"Mhm?" Please don't bring up the amount of physical intensity between us right now… Just sweep it under the rug… maybe it'll go away…

"Could I take one of the candles in the bathroom and have a quick shower? If you don't mind." She bites her lip, looking even more fidgety.

"Oh. Of course." I breathe. Good… time apart will give my hormones a chance to pipe the fuck down.

"Thanks." She smiles, getting up and grabbing her change of clothes and the warm vanilla sugar candle.

"Holler if you need anything from me." I offer. She seems to freeze, staring at me and looking suddenly jumpy.

"O-okay. Sure. Thanks." She mumbles, shuffling into the bathroom. As usual with us and doors, our eyes connect just before she shuts it, and I swear we both let out a deep breath. I wait until I hear the water start running before I jump up, pacing back and forth and trying to blow off steam. I shake my sweaty hands out and run them through my hair. Part of me really hates that I didn't kiss her. But the other part says… she's your friend… just a friend. Your engaged friend. Your engaged, beautiful, comforting, gentle, compassionate… sexy friend who is naked it the next room right now **oh my god**.

No no no no no I didn't just think that.

Thankfully my thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door. I shake myself off and head to it, hoping I don't look like I'm horndogging. I open the door… and I'm blinded by a bright flashlight. "Tori Vega?" I hear. Oh my god are the police here? Are they going to arrest me for having sexual thoughts about my engaged best friend? _Do Canadian cops do that?!_

"Y-yeah?" I stammer, shielding my eyes. The flashlight beam is removed from my face so I can see, and it's just my superintendent… I'm definitely too paranoid.

"Just checking on the tenants. Telling them what I can do about the power." He explains.

"Oh. Well that's nice of you. What can you do about the power?" I ask.

"Nothing."

"…That's helpful." I sigh. He just grunts in response. "Right. Well… I have a… friend in the shower, so I'll be okay." I assure him.

"Alright. Well if you and your… friend get into any hanky panky, be sure to keep it down for other residence's sake." He says. I stare at him, hoping he'll crack a smile to prove he's joking… Nope. No, that waxy face is all full of serious.

As he walks away I stop him. "Um… there are other residents in this building, right?" I ask. He raises his eyebrow.

"Yes, of course." He grumbles, heading off. I quickly close the door and rest my back against it, letting out a deep breath. On the bright side, I think my superintendent referring to sex as hanky panky was enough to kill every urge in my entire body.

When Cat comes out of the shower she seems a lot calmer and relaxed. I make us a batch of hot chocolate and I jam out on my guitar while Cat sings along for the rest of the night… and luckily it was all very innocent. I stayed the hell away from promiscuous songs. The wind really picked up at some point so I wrapped my arms around her when we crawled into bed and hugged her back to me, returning the favour from the last time she stayed over.

But god, I'm not going to forget how close I was to having her…

* * *

**April 13****th****, 2017**

"Thank you for driving me." I smile from the passenger seat.

"No problem. Glad I got you to the airport safely. And thank you for letting me borrow your car for weekend." Cat says back. I pop open the door, sliding a leg out.

"Well, you have a late shift this weekend and I won't be able to drive you home, so this was the safest option." I state. She shakes her head incredulously.

"You're ridiculous… but sweet. I'll take good care of it, I promise. Do you have your tranquilizers?" She asks.

"Yep. No CN Tower moments for me." I assure her.

"Excellent. Then you're ready to go… I hope you have a wonderful Easter." Cat smiles.

"Thanks… you too. Give my best to Barry." I say, stepping out.

"I will. Bon voyage!" Cat calls out to me. I close the door and walk around, popping the trunk open and grabbing my bags. I shut the trunk and I'm halfway to the doors when I hear the door on my car open. "Tori, wait!" Cat shouts, rushing out. I turn to her slowly, confused.

"Cat, wha-" I drop my bags around my feet when Cat throws herself at me with a tight hug.

"Take tons of pictures for me?" Cat mumbles. I smile, running a hand down her hair.

"I will. Promise." I say. She leans back with a smile, and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

When I attempt to leave the second time, I glance back at her and I'm surprised that I'm not filled with any anxiety… I don't mean with the plane flight. That terrifies me. But I mean about Cat… a couple months ago I would've been scared to leave, but now I have no doubt in my mind that she'll be here when I get back. Progress, right? I guess I'm regaining my trust in her. I even left Mr. Purple in my car to spend some quality time with his mommy. But I'm sure she'll give him back when I come back.

The rest of the airport time and flight are a blur thanks to tranquilizers, but I assume I didn't get arrested by US customs so… that's good.

You have no idea how amazing it was to step out of the LAX airport and felt the warm, LA air hit my face. After the snow storm it melted within about a week and a half, but it was still chilly. LA, however… LA was freaking wonderful this time of year. Loving that sun.

It was a long flight and lots of tranquilizers, so I collapsed in my own bed as soon as I got home, never mind the three hour time difference. I didn't even hear Trina come in… Something I'm sure I'll pay for tomorrow.

**April 14****th****, 2017**

"LITTLE. SISTER." She screeches when I go downstairs the next day.

"Hi, Trina." I smile part of me genuinely glad to see her. She just puts her hands on her hips and glares at me.

"Or should I just say **little**?" Trina huffs. I look down at myself. I know she's a weight loss spokesperson… Did I lose that much weight? "Because a real sister would great her bigger sister at the door with hugs and presents when she came in the door!"

Oh. "Sorry, Trina. I was tired." I sigh.

"I thought Canadians might teach you some manners but NOPE." She scoffs. Why'd I come home again?

"Trina… I'm sorry. How about I give you gifts now?" I ask. She immediately brightens up.

"Oh… well if you insist." Trina laughs, sitting at the couch. I'm enveloped by a hug from my mother and father.

"It's nice to have you home, sweetheart." My mom says.

"It's nice to be home… I missed the LA weather." I sigh.

"You should call more often." My dad scolds.

"I call once a week." I chuckle.

"Exactly!" My dad huffs, giving me another hug.

"Hello! She's supposed to be showering me with gifts right now!" Trina grumbles. My mom and dad look at each other.

"Remember when we were empty nesters?" My mom asks.

"Those were the days…" My dad shrugs. I give my mom and dad the typical souvenirs you'd expect from Canada. Jars of maple syrup and shot glasses with the CN Tower on it. I knew Trina wouldn't appreciate anything that insinuated she should have something sugary, so I got her a charm bracelet with maple leaves, polar bears, and beavers… and then something else.

"The charms could be bigger." Trina wrinkles her nose, shaking the bracelet on her wrist.

"I thought you might say that." I sigh, pulling out another bag. "So I also got you this."

She tears the tissue paper away and pulls up a slim fitting shirt. She stares at it, wide-eyed. "Is that… a shirt with Justin Bieber's face on it?"

"Sure is."

"And… is that his real _signature_?" Trina gasps. I blink at her. Great, it's clearly printed on, but… Trina won't settle for less.

"Yeah. Totally. Ran into him on the street. He signed it for you." I bullshit. My mom raises her eyebrow at me and I give an innocent smile. Trina, however, immediately pulls on the shirt.

"**Justin Bieber touched this shirt**." She gushes, and then leaps on me with a hug. "Best sister EVER! I knew Canada would be good for you."

"Haha… yeah…" I laugh nervously.

We had a nice homemade breakfast, which I missed (although Cat made sure I was always stocked with enough to make a big breakfast), and then we took our annual Good Friday family hike. I made sure to take a picture with Trina because Cat bonded with her on some level… mostly while monster make-up was bonding with my face, but whatever. I got maybe one picture with Trina. The rest will be a bunch of Trina focused selfies that Cat will have to look forward to… Trina loves the camera, but I'm not sure how much the camera loves Trina.

At one point I catch my mom giving me a perplexed look, and I give it right back. "What? Is there something on my face?" I ask, touching my cheek. She shakes her head, a smile on her face.

"Nothing. It's just… you seem more upbeat. Like you're filled with more… I don't know. Life. It's something I haven't seen in you since you were seventeen. It's nice… I guess Canada really has been good for you." My mom beams. I look away, embarrassed.

"Aw, geez, mom…" I mutter. I don't think it's the country as much as it is the people… specifically person. How can I not have new life in me when I had a life returned to me? Yeah… in that case, Canada was good for me, and it's the main reason I miss it already.

Although, I have to admit, I feel really guilty looking at my dad. He worked so hard to solve Cat's case, and I know he feels guilty that he never found her for me. Now, I know where she is… I know how to solve the case, and I can't even tell him. Because of this, I can't really look him in the eye… He probably thinks I hate him. Ugh.

Just imagine how I'll be with my friends tomorrow.

**April 15****th****, 2017**

"Heeey, look who blew in from the north!" Andre grins, enveloping me in a hug at the door. I had offered my house because… that's where we always used to hang out. It's a reunion, after all.

"Hey, Andre! Look who came down from success to mingle with the little people." I laugh, hugging him back.

"Aw, now you know that's not true." He pats me on the shoulder, stepping in and clapping me on the shoulder. "Now, where's the food?"

"Nachos are on the kitchen table." I chuckle, starting to close the door. It's stopped short by the smack of a hand.

"Geez, Tori, trying to shut me out already?" I hear the smooth voice. I pull open the door and see my fluffy-haired friend.

"Beck! Oh my god!" I grin, jumping onto him with a hug.

"Ehem." I hear from behind him. I pull back to see an intimidating Jade, crossing her arms and tapping her foot. I quickly step away from Beck. Some things never change.

"Er, hi, Jade." I greet awkwardly. Remember how I said we grew closer after she pulled me out of the ditch? Well, it's true. I'm forever grateful to her… but I still don't think we've really figured out how to be friends yet.

"Yeah. Nice to see you… Vega." Jade mumbles. I open my arms slightly and twist.

"Uh, okay…" I step back just as she goes for the hug.

"Alright, let's just…" I go back for the hug and walk right into her hand.

"Oh, geez, just…"

"Here…"

"There… there we go." We finally give each other an awkward hug, stepping back really tensely for each other.

"Wow… and I thought I was awkward." Robbie says from behind Jade.

"Hey Robbie!" I smile, although I'm still a little bitter at him for outing my dark past to Cat… even though it's not his fault.

"The gangs all here! Nobody steal my nachos." Andre warns.

"We won't… Mr. Big Shot." Beck winks.

"Especially you. Don't want to get all you Old Spice up in my salsa." Andre jokes.

"Ugh, don't even mention that. I thought Hollywood Arts was bad… we can't walk down the street anymore without girls screaming at him to rip his shirt off." Jade scoffs.

"And my pants." Beck grins, but his face falls when his sees the look on his girlfriend's face. "Uh… but they always run away when you give them the look that Helena Bonham Carter taught you."

"Such a brilliant woman." Jade sighs.

"How's working with Tim Burton?" I ask.

"Twisted. It's the best experience ever." Jade lights up with excitement. Apparently I'm not the only one filled with new life. "How's being a recording artist?"

"It's in progress. I really like the studio atmosphere. Perfect for creating." I explain.

"I heard that preview of your new song on Splashface. It sounded great. When's the full music video coming out?" Andre asks.

"After I get back from Easter. Ca-" I stop myself short, "...The director is planning to start filming, and then we'll release sometime next week. Hopefully." I explain, letting out a nervous breath. I need to be more careful… I'm so used to casually talking about Cat to Vik and Nicky.

"Well I'm sure once you start releasing original music you'll blow up in no time." Beck nods.

"Literally or figuratively?" Jade asks. I stare at her.

"Jade!"

"Sorry. Old habits." She shrugs. Robbie looks around, grinning. "What?" Jade raises her eyebrow at him.

"I just… like this. All of us. Together." Robbie comments.

"Yeah, it's nice. I missed you guys." I state with a smile.

"I just wish all of us could be here." Robbie sighs, and I cringe.

"Yeah, tell me about it. I was thinking about Cat the other day, actually. Old Spice released something specifically for redheads and… yeah." Beck crosses his arms.

"Bringing her up already, huh?" Jade sighs.

"She always is, eventually. She was part of the gang. You have to admit, we still feel a little… empty without our perky, bright ball of sunshine." Andre recalls.

"She should be here." I mutter, and then I mentally kick myself when everyone looks at me. "You know… whatever happened to her shouldn't have happened." I say quickly.

"Got that right. I have a pair of scissors with that bastard's name on it." Jade grumbles.

"Yeah. Whoever knows where she is deserves to die for taking her away from us!" Robbie seethes. Uh oh.

"Robbie, that won't fix anything… but I definitely won't forgive anyone who won't come forward and tell us." Beck grumbles.

"Even if it's just to give her a proper burial." Jade mutters.

"You still think she's dead?" Robbie argues.

"You still think she's alive? Robbie, if she was, we would've seen some sign of her by now. Cat wouldn't let someone keep her for too long… she'd find a way to escape, or she'd just annoy them to the point of letting her go. And then she'd come back. If she were alive, why isn't she back yet, huh? It's been over three years." Jade throws back.

"Babe…" Beck sighs.

"Believe me, I want to believe she's alive, too." Jade mumbles, making Beck put his arms around her.

"I know. You thought of her as a sister." Beck murmurs.

"Well, I still hold out hope." Robbie states.

"And I send Lil Red all the respect, wherever she is." Andre claims, raising a nacho in the air. "To Cat."

"To Cat." Everyone else says. Everyone but me. I just stand there, stewing.

"Vega, what's up with you?" Jade raises an eyebrow.

"Tori says she's ready to put Cat behind her." Robbie reveals.

"Really? When you said that back in January, I admit I didn't really believe you. You've really forgotten her?" Andre asks. I stare at them, feeling the blood drain from my face.

"No… that's not it. I didn't… I could NEVER forget Cat. But… I just think…" I sigh. "I'm not saying I just… talked to her the other day and know what she'd be thinking, but… I feel like if she were alive today, she wouldn't want us focusing on all the negatives, like of her disappearance and possible death. She cared about us all so much and it'd break her heart to know we were hurting from her being gone. She'd want us to focus on the good times. The crazy brother stories she'd tell us. The time she tackled the flour bomber to the ground…" Everybody smirks a bit at that one. "Cat was a bright ball of sunshine, like you said Andre. Now that she's gone, that doesn't mean she left a dark rain cloud in her place. She's still our bright ball of sunshine… that's the way she'd want it. That will never change, and that's why I'll never forget her. She's… the sunshine in my heart." I tremble a bit at the end.

Everybody stares at me, mouth agape, and yet a look of agreement on their face as well. Maybe from now on… they'll focus on the positives. Cat won't have to worry about her friends hurting like I did anymore, and I don't have to worry about keeping this big secret. I let out a deep breath, holding back sentimental tears as I pull out my camera.

"So… who's up for a group picture?"

* * *

**April 17****th****, 2017**

I see my car outside at the pick-up area, waiting for me. The door pops open, revealing the redhead ball of sunshine I had missed so much. I drop my bags again, but this time I take it at a run and Cat looks surprised just before I leap on her in a bone crushing hug that surpassed even her goodbye hug. She stumbles back a bit, steadied by the car door, and she puts her arms around my waist.

"I'm still here, Tori." Cat chuckles. I shake my head, simultaneously nuzzling into her neck.

"It's not that. I knew you'd be. I just… I hated having to pretend you were dead again this weekend." I whimper, not expecting to have gotten this emotional. Cat lets out a sigh, hands clutching at the material of the sweater to hold me closer.

"Oh, Tori…"

* * *

**Author's Notes: People are waiting for this so I'm going to keep this author's note short. I'm sorry it's so late. I'm on break from school but because of Canadian Thanksgiving/my brother visiting/still recovering from sickness, this had to take the back burner. But hey, I worked on it all day to get it out to you! Yeah! And now there's sexual tension between Cat and Tori... and by that I mean MORE. Want to see even more? Review. Tell me things. Maybe I'll release the next chapter... It'll be a good one. Progress and character development will happen. We all know I'll release it anyway... Reviews are just nice internet hugs... SOMEBODY HUG ME. **

**Fun Fact: I wasn't going to include the gang at all in this story, minus Robbie when he comes and screws everything up. I wrote a lot of group dynamics in Falling-Out, so I really wanted this one to focus on just Cat and Tori's relationship... but you know what? This is Victorious fanfiction and I missed writing everyone! Hence, Easter.**


	10. Anything For You

**Disclaimer: Victorious is not owned by me, nor is "Counting Stars" by OneRepublic or "Shake" by Victoria Justice, but it IS pwned.**

**I can't believe I just said that.**

* * *

**April 22nd, 2017**

"_Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep,  
Dreaming about the things that we could be,  
But baby I've been, I've been praying hard,  
Said no more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars_"

Cat looks up at me, perplexed, and then she smiles. "That's not that song we're trying to film." She chuckles. I stop singing, looking back at her.

"I know. It's stuck in my head." I explain.

"Well, tell OneRepublic to give it a rest for now. It's Tori Vega's time to shine." Cat states.

"When I make it shine?" I joke. She bursts out giggling.

"No, that's the old Tori. This is Tori: the next level." Cat laughs.

"You make it sound so inspiring." I smirk.

"I read some directing article online that said you're supposed to keep your talent motivated. Yeah! You go, Tori!" Cat cheers. I chuckle, shaking my head.

"You go Glen Coco." Nicky throws an arm around me out of nowhere. And then I feel the now-familiar feeling of a Nicky noogie.

"Oww…" I cringe. Familiar, but still painful.

Nicky releases me and Cat looks over with a frown. "Oh… now I have to fix her hair again." Cat sighs, grabbing a brush, comb and hairspray.

"You don't have to. I can fix it. You can't be the director, designer, _and _hair and make-up artist." I state.

"I don't mind." Cat smiles slightly, putting her hands on my shoulders and gently pushing me down on the bench. She walks around and I feel her fingers tangle in my hair, and I swear she runs her nails over my scalp slower than she has to. My eyes shut. Thank you, Nicky.

"Okay, I think I'm all familiarized with the equipment." Vik declares, walking over to us.

"Good. Try to be careful with it… my job's on the line." Cat requests, as she runs a brush over my hair. Ugh, she's really good at this.

"I will be, don't worry." Vik assures her.

"Why can't I do some filming?" Nicky whines.

"Because you'd **definitely** drop and break a thousand dollar camera." Vik says.

"Mean. No I wouldn't." Nicky mutters.

"That's not why. I trust Nicky." Cat claims.

"Ha!" Nicky shoots at Vik.

"I just need her to help me organize all the extras. I know Nicky will keep everyone in line." Cat explains.

"That's true enough. When are the extras getting here anyway, Tori?" Vik asks, but I'm very focused on Cat's fingers pulling through my hair, the comb scraping over some hair as she gently clips my hair in place…

"Hm? Oh. I don't know for sure. I made a video requesting all my fans in the area to meet today at one o'clock at the base of the CN Tower. I also tweeted it… instagramed it… posted on The Slap… Keek'd… Hopefully some people saw it and will show up." I sigh. I feel Cat lightly massage the tender skin on top of my head.

"They'll come. Who would deny a chance to meet you?" Cat inquires.

"You give me too much credit." I sigh, her fingers still soothingly running over my scalp. I can't imagine this is making my hair less messy, but whatever… more time for her to spend on my hair.

"I think I give you just enough." Cat mutters, going back to running the brush through my hair.

"She's right, Tori. I saw a lot of positive response in comments on all those things. People will come." Vik assures me.

"I hope so. Otherwise Cat's idea will be completely ruined." I tip my head up to look at her, and smiles down at me, running her fingers back through my bangs. I close my eyes, smiling. "Which, by the way, are you going to tell me what your video concept is yet?"

"Oh, did I not tell you?" She asks. I open my eyes and she has a sheepish smile.

"No. As usual every time I asked you kept telling me it was a 'surprise'." I glare.

"Well that's because I didn't know how you'd feel about the idea." Cat admits.

"Is it about a giraffe finding love?" I ask.

"No." She smirks.

"Then I'm sure I'd love it. Tell me. I kind of need to know since we're filming soon." I urge. She looks over at Vik and he nods.

"I think it's a great idea." Vik says. Cat lets out a breath.

"Okay. So, you know flash mobs?" Cat asks.

"Yeah. They were pretty big a few years ago." I recall.

"Mhm. So I had an idea around that." Cat starts to explain.

"You have a choreographed dance for my fans to follow and dance in a public place?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Not exactly. Choreography was never my thing. See, I saw this thing on the internet… kind of a spin on flash mobs. A flash freeze." Cat reveals.

"Is that Canadian humour?" I ask.

"No, Tori." Cat giggles. "People walk around in a public area and just freeze whatever they're doing. Completely still. So I was thinking we can do that in different Toronto locations – including a super market," She laughs, "and we'll get some shots of people reacting to the frozen people with hidden cameras I already set up… meanwhile you'll be walking amongst the frozen people and singing along with the track. Then, once the chorus comes along… you snap your fingers, everyone unfreezes and starts dancing. It's just a fun video… a bit of a deep meaning in there somewhere."

"Cat… that sounds brilliant. You're a genius." I gape. "Like, I love that idea."

"Really?" Cat asks, stopping the teasing of my hair.

"Yeah, like… it's a cool idea. And it'll be fun for all of us and my fans." I grin.

"Thanks, Tori… I'm glad you like it." Cat mumbles, and I feel the spritz of hairspray over my head.

"Will the fans cooperate, though? I mean… They're just randoms. We don't know them." Vik questions.

"That's where Nicky comes in." Cat states, and I look over at the spunky blonde to see her flexing.

"I'll keep those punks in line." Nicky smirks.

"Hey, be nice to my fans." I huff.

"I won't be nice if one of them comes running at you with a knife." Nicky states.

"…Can that happen?" I stare.

"Relax, Tori." Cat giggles. "If one of your fans is a raging psychopath then they're clearly a fan of the wrong person."

"That's… comforting?" I blink. Cat just giggles again.

"There. All done." She says, stepping out from behind me. Damnit.

I pull out my phone, turning on the inverted camera to look at myself. She gave me some sort of… sexy bedhead look, and it honestly looks great. I have to admit, I agree with Barry on some level. Not that she shouldn't sing for a living, but she has so much talent in so many areas, she could definitely expand beyond her simple job at the diner if she wanted to. "Thanks, Cat." I smile.

"No problem. No more noogies." Cat warns Nicky. Nicky gives a mock salute.

"Yes ma'am." Nicky promises, but she has a cheeky smile. I'll be protecting my hair all day.

"Hey Cat," Vik starts.

"Yeah?"

"Why's that camera just set up and pointed up at the tower?" He asks.

"Oh, it's just a time lapse camera. I'll have a video feed of the clouds and sun moving over the tower to edit in. It's… artistic. Or something." Cat explains.

"I like it." Vik nods. I look up at the tower and immediately feel sick, looking down.

"We won't have to go up there again, do we?" I ask worriedly. Cat giggles, coming over to sit down beside me.

"No, just the base of the tower. I promise. We couldn't get clearance to do a flash freeze up there anyway, like we did for most places." Cat smiles.

"What a shame…" I sigh, and she giggles again, giving my back a comforting rub. I notice Nicky smirking and raising her eyebrow, but I ignore it. Cat's just affectionate…

"Oh. My. God." We hear. We turn to the source of the voices and there's a group of three adolescent girls staring are way. "It's her! Tori! Hi!"

"I guess those are the first of your fans." Vik chuckles.

"I told you they'd come." Cat grins.

They ran over and basically freaked out for a bit that they were meeting me, which baffles my mind. I'm just a person who sings on Splashface – no one special. Yet they acted as if I was this awe-inspiring person, which was sweet.

They weren't the only ones, either. In all, about thirty of my fans came from around the area, and some even drove a long distance to get to meet me. I signed things, I took pictures, I was given gifts and letters, one girl even told me listening to one of my covers one night was enough to keep her on this planet. That's the second time someone's told me I've saved their life, the other being Cat… I can't believe I could make such an impact. It's very humbling. I would've cried, had I not wanted to force Cat to do my make up again… Actually, if it was anything like her redoing my hair, it wouldn't have been such a bad thing…

Luckily for me, none of them seemed crazy or came bearing knives, so that made Nicky's job easier. Still, thirty people was a lot to organize, but Cat was ecstatic. It was plenty of people to pose as extras for the video.

"Told you." She reminds me, nudging me gently with her elbow.

"Why do I ever doubt you?" I sigh, smiling. People were interested in finding out who Vik, Nicky and Cat were to me as well. Vik and Nicky introduced themselves as my producers/managers… to be honest, I have no idea what their official title is, but my fans seemed to like them a lot. And why wouldn't they? Cat actually seemed much more reserved around them, and if they asked who she was she would just say she was the director. I noticed she was avoiding giving her name. I guess it's too large of a group of social networkers for her to feel safe to just give away her name, so I picked up on that and tried to avoid using her name unless I was out of ear shot.

"Tori, it's really nice to meet you. Truly." I hear. I turn to see a handsome young guy about my age with jet black hair, spacers in both ears, and a large smile.

"Oh, hi! It's nice to meet you, too." I nod. He goes in for a hug and I reciprocate.

"Your videos inspired me to do music, so I drove out here to help in whatever way I could." He states, pulling away with the big smile on his face. "Plus, I really had to see if you were as beautiful in real life as you are on Splashface. Turns out, you aren't. The real deal is much better." He flashes a smile.

"Oh… Um, that's sweet…" I blush, running my hand through my hair awkwardly. "Uh…?"

"Andy." He grins.

"Andy. It's nice to meet you." I nod, still blushing. I mean, I just feel more embarrassed than flattered, but it was still nice of him to say.

"Believe me, the pleasure is all mine." He chuckles. I notice Cat looking rapidly between me and Andy before clapping her hands together.

"Okay! Let's have everyone gather in one place so I can address everyone and explain their part." Cat announces.

"You heard the girl. Everyone, front and centre!" Nicky yells into a megaphone. Wait… I don't… when did she get that megaphone?

Everyone starts to gather, and Cat quickly grabs my arm and yanks me from Andy's side over to her. "You come with me." Cat orders.

"Uh o-okay." I stumble, slightly surprised by her abruptness. She places me by the bench we had been sitting on, and then she stands up on it. You know, in high school she very rarely took up a leadership role. But right now… She looks like she could command an army.

"Okay! Hi everyone! Thanks for coming and supporting Tori! We _really _appreciate it, and we're going to need every single one of you to help with this! And you'll **all **get credit in the video. So when Tori becomes a worldwide, number one album selling sensation, you can all say you were there in her first music video!" Cat shouts out to the crowd, and she gets a cheer. She beams at them, and I'm pretty sure it's out of pride for me. "So now we need to get down to business. Oh, thank you Nicky." She gets handed the megaphone. Cat holds it up to her mouth and continues, "I hope you're all as excited about this concept as I am. This is what we're planning…"

Cat explains and the entire group seems very excited about it, as I expected. Some of them seemed skeptical about freezing and then dancing like fools in front of other people, so I suggested playing them the finished song. We only had a PearPod to play the song for me to lip sync along with – hey, we were still on a budget. I mean we're lucky we had Cat and the diner equipment…

Either way, everyone was excited to hear the new song, and they seemed pretty pumped after. I think that's a good sign. They needed to know when to freeze and when to dance anyway. Cat gave everyone general places to stand for when the flash freeze happens, told them the cue is when they hear the music start playing, and then improvise a natural pose that they can hold for a long time. Everyone was a good sport. I think Nicky is actually feeling irrelevant. We did a practice run, and it went well enough that Cat got some shots of people reacting.

And now I'm nervous. I don't know why… it's a music video. But I feel pressure to do a good job in front of all these people who admire and look up to me. I feel Cat gently nudge me.

"Hey, you'll be great, Just look pretty for the cameras." Cat chuckles.

"Oh she can do that alright." Andy calls over, grinning. Oh boy. I swear Cat glares at him for a moment, but she shakes it off. Must be my imagination…

"Alright, everyone. Action." Cat calls out. Everyone starts walking about the space, talking or walking, taking pictures, dropping things, or just doing random activities. Vik and Cat circle a bit with the cameras, and then I see Nicky press the play button on the PearPod dock. Here goes… something.

"_Lately everybody's so self-conscious  
People talk about each other, so heartless,  
but I don't want to hear those conversations  
I just want to feel the good vibrations_

_Whatever happened to the simple pleasures_  
_It's hard to live when there's so much pressure,_  
_but I don't want to think about the ending_  
_'cause every moment is a new beginning_"

I've never really lip synced, but Nicky told me to just sing along anyway to make it more realistic, so I do. I walk amongst the frozen people, singing, looking at them, waving my hand in front of their faces. I glance over at Cat for a moment, and she has the biggest smile on her face. I must be doing something right.

PS, my favourite part of the song is coming up.

"_Ohh,  
You know life's too short to be complicated  
Ohh,  
Sometimes, sometimes_

_Sometimes you gotta…_"

And, turn to camera… sly smile… and… snap.

Everyone comes to life and I sing along as I dance with them. Honesty, not only is it a cool idea, but it's a lot of fun, too. It reflects the song perfectly. Every so often Cat would call cut and do some switching around for aesthetic purposes. Interestingly enough, it'd usually be whenever I'd get near Andy. I mean, I'm not saying it has any connection but… I'm just saying.

"Tori, that was great." Cat grins at me, skipping over. She seems so alive and buzzing right now. It's like she's been waiting to release this creative energy forever. Living with Barry must be so… dull.

"Thanks. Did it look good on camera?" I ask.

"Oh it definitely did." Vik says, walking over with his camera. I turn around to my fans who have gathered.

"Guys, the director says it looks great! Good job!" I praise, and they all cheer. Cat leaps on me with a random hug, not that I'm complaining. "Okay, what now?" I ask her.

She stays firmly attached. "Now we pack up, and then we all head to the four other different locations." She explains.

"Four?" I exclaim.

"Yeah… Yonge and Dundas Square, High Park, the food court in the Eaton Centre, and of course the grocery store…" Cat lists off.

"And… how are we moving thirty some-odd people around the city?" I question. Cat pulls back, furrowing her brow.

"Um…" She trails off. I nearly smack myself in the forehead. I guess I can't blame her for missing some details. She's already doing so much.

"I got it. Calling a bunch of vans now." Vik states, holding a phone to his ear.

"Wait, we're going all over the city now?" Someone in the crowd asks. Nicky steps up with her megaphone.

"Excuse me. We will be paying for the cabs so you basically get a _free tour of Toronto_. **Enjoy it**!" Nicky shouts into the megaphone. Everybody nods simultaneously. I swear, sometimes Nicky can be very Jade-like.

"So, I can take some people in my car." I say.

"I can go with you." Andy steps up immediately. Cat pipes up immediately.

"Yeah. Count me in." She states.

"Um, I hate to burst your bubble, but you probably need a van to cart all of the equipment and you should probably stay with it." Vik rubs the back of his neck, and Cat's face falls.

"Oh. Right." She sighs.

"I'll go with T." Nicky states.

"Great, everyone else group up for the vans and tell them to head to High Park." Vik shouts to the crowd.

"Hey! Why did I bring my megaphone?" Nicky grumbles. Vik blinks at her.

"Yeah… Why _did _you?" He asks.

As we're starting to leave I overhear Cat talking to Nicky as she's about to get into her van with everything loaded up.

"Um… You'll look after Tori, right?" Cat bites her lip. Nicky stares at Cat for a moment, and then she smirks.

"Don't worry, kid." Nicky ruffles Cat's hair, "I'll make sure _nothing _happens." Nicky winks. Well, at least I'm not the only one Nicky calls kid, and it's cute that Cat cares. But there wasn't much need to look after me. Along with Andy I took two other fans, and they were all lovely. Andy even sang some of my song. He actually sounds really good.

When we got to High Park, Cat pointed out the bulbs on the trees that were close to blooming into beautiful cherry blossoms soon. I have to admit, I really wanted to come back here with her when they were in bloom, but she'll probably just come here with Barry. The shoot there went well as well despite us barely missing the beauty of the blossoms, and after we shot at Yonge and Dundas Sqaure, we shot in the Eaton Centre food court and took a break for everyone to grab a bite to eat.

"Hey Cat." I whisper to her as she's waiting in line. She looks over, puzzled.

"Yeah?"

"I'm _really _lucky to have you, you know?" I sigh. She's seriously been the best today. Vik and Nicky, too, but none of this would've been possible without Cat.

"Tori… Thanks." Cat blushes, making me smile. Andy walks over from the front of the line with a very loaded tray, and Cat seems to straighten up a bit.

"Hey Tori. I bought you food." He says, holding out the tray.

"Aw, you didn't have to do that." I mutter awkwardly. He basically got me everything on the menu.

"It's the least I can do for you giving me the opportunity to spend the day with you." Andy flashes a smile. "It's too bad it has to end eventually."

"Such a shame." Cat mutters under her breath. I raise an eyebrow at her but I give Andy a smile.

"Well thank you. That's sweet." I say, taking the tray.

"If you want, we can sit at the same table." Andy suggests. Cat whips her head away, fists clenched. Why is she being so weird whenever Andy is around?

"Um, actually I think I need to sit with my director so we can discuss things, but thanks for the offer." I smile. Cat relaxes but Andy looks disappointed.

"Oh, okay. Well I'll be sitting over there if you change your mind." He shrugs, walking away. I feel Cat step closer to me, but she says nothing. Why is she being so… protective? I guess she's just concerned. Andy is obviously interested in me, which is flattering. It's been a while since I've been "pursued", although I don't know how I feel about it. Cat's just probably trying to look out for me, like I am with her when I question Barry.

Again… cute.

"Um, well I have my food so I'll meet you at the table." I say.

"Okay. And um… thanks for sitting with me." Cat mumbles. I stare at her.

"Of course. You're my best friend." I say. She smiles at me and I feel an overwhelming urge to kiss her on the cheek, but I fight it by turning away. It shouldn't be a big deal, but ever since the snow storm I'm worried about how close my lips get to hers… they might not listen to my brain.

"Hey T… Eating for ten?" Nicky asks when I sit at the table with her and Vik.

"Haha… yeah…" I sigh, trying to figure out how to tackle the large amount of food. I start to take a bite of some burrito type thing and…

"So… kind of cute how Cat's jealous, huh?" Nicky says with a smirk.

Choking.

"Wh-what?" I sputter, and Nicky rolls her eyes.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you haven't noticed. Every time that Andy guy flirts with you… it like drives her insane." Nicky chuckles. I look over at Vik.

"I'm staying out of this." Vik states. Ugh.

"She's not jealous, she's just… protective." I reason.

"Yeah, of her _territory_. Or should I say, terriTORI!" She points at me, and both Vik and I roll our eyes.

"She's engaged, she doesn't want to be with me. Why would she be jealous?" I argue.

"Why do you find it so hard to believe that Cat _might_ still harbour some feelings for you? Deep rooted feelings that will always be there no matter who she's with." Nicky argues back.

"One, you sound like a cheesy romance novel. Two, I… I don't know. I guess there's always the possibility, but her having feelings for me… that would just make things so much more complicated." I sigh.

"How so?" Nicky questions.

"She's engaged." Vik pipes in.

"I thought you were staying out of this!" Nicky snaps at him, but I nod at him in agreement. "Even with the engagement, it doesn't have to be complicated. You're in love with each other-"

"Whoa, who said anything about being _in love_?"

"-and that wouldn't happen if you were with the right person. You should snatch her up before it's too late." Nicky states.

"Nicky…" I huff, rolling my eyes. "We don't even know if she's really jealous. You can never really know with her. Cat's always been a bit… quirky."

"Come on. I'll prove it to you." Nicky declares, standing up and grabbing my arm, yanking me off my chair.

"Wh-hey wait!" I complain, giving Vik a pleading look as she drags me away. He just gives me a look that says _it was nice knowing you. _Useless.

Nicky drags me to the condiment station, where Cat is with her now purchased food. Nicky leans over to me. "Just follow my lead. You don't have to say anything. Just react." She whispers.

Great, I've been reduced to a shrugger.

Nicky walks up to the table and Cat looks over, smiling, as Nicky grabs a handful of ketchup packets.

"I mean, Andy's cute, right?" Nicky ask. I blink at her and Cat immediately tenses.

"Uhh…" I stare.

"And did you hear him in the car? Boy can SANG." Nicky exclaims. I blink again while Cat seems to viciously attack the relish dispenser.

"I mean seriously, you've been single for too long. Time to get out there, have some fun! Might be worth it." Nicky winks.

"I… I don't…" I fumble. What the hell is she doing.

"Plus, his lips look they'd be really good at kissing, among other things..." Nicky muses, and Cat's tray clatters against the table, sending some fries flying.

"Cat, you okay?" I ask her, concerned.

"Yeah…" She mumbles, not looking up from her tray. I glare at Nicky.

"So, if he asks you out, you should totally say yes. Just saying." Nicky states.

"Nicky!" I glower.

"What? I think it's a great idea!" Nicky turns to Cat, "Cat, what do you think? Should Tori start dating Andy?"

Cat promptly picks up her tray and breezes by. "Sure. Whatever." She mutters, a sad look on her face. I watch her walk away with an equally sad look, and then I turn to glare at a grinning Nicky.

"What's wrong with you? _**Among other things? **_What if you were right? You might've totally tortured her!" I hiss.

"**If **I was right? T, did you not see her reactions? You are totally her terriTORI!" Nicky grins.

"Stop saying that. And you're awful." I grumble.

"Are you actually going to go out with Andy?" Nicky asks.

"What? No."

"Then no harm done." Nicky shrugs, walking by me. She looks over her shoulder. "At least you know now there's _something_ there for you, whether Cat knows it or not." And she heads back to the table.

"Or maybe she's stressed, they didn't have the condiment she wanted, she's feeling sick, many other reasons…" I mumble to no one in particular. I wander my way back to the table where Nicky and Cat have sat down, and I sit next to Cat. She's still looking down at her not-completely-covered food and saying nothing, looking deep in thought.

Screw it. I lean over and leave a small peck on her cheek. She looks startled and looks over at me with surprise. I just smile at her. She smiles back, and then she's back to her regular self. Geez, if I knew that's all it took, I could've saved a lot of money from buying her ice cream back in the day.

Our last stop was the grocery store. Cat decided it should be the same grocery store she took me to and danced with me the first time… I'm not going to be allowed to come back here pretty soon. But Vik assured me he cleared it with the manager, so, it should be fun just like all the other locations.

It actually has been the funniest place to have the freeze. The use of the carts and things on the shelves really gave extra opportunity for good poses, and Vik and Cat caught some nice confused reactions when running between the aisles, then I did my part (this time the song played over the speakers, which is awesome).

"_Ohh,  
You know life's too short to be complicated,  
Ohh,_"

I turn into the produce section which is much more open, and the area Cat and I danced. I walked right by Andy, who is frozen and funnily enough looking at artichokes, as I start the chorus.

"_Sometimes you gotta…_" Snap.

"_Shake, shake what your momma gave ya,  
Pull out your Michael J moves,  
And dance the with the record on,  
Sometimes you gotta get…_"

Andy surprises me when he reaches over and grabs my arm, pulling me into a spin, but I stay in the moment. I continue to sing as he sways me from side to side, similar to how Cat swayed me when she inspired me to write this song… although she was a lot smoother.

"_Down, down at the super market,  
Even if there's people watching,  
Just because you like the song,  
Sometimes you gotta just,  
Shake, shake, shake, shake,_

_Sometimes you gotta just-_"

Andy goes to dip me and that's when Cat's voice rings out.

"**Cut**!" She yells. Andy releases me and everyone stops dancing, looking at her.

"What? What was wrong with that?" Andy asks her incredulously. Cat stares forward, seeming to try to find some sort of explanation. She looks down for a moment.

"I… I guess nothing. There's nothing wrong with it. There's no reason I should be upset with it." Cat mutters, and then she takes a deep breath and looks up with a smile. "You guys look good together. I just want to start from the beginning of the chorus and get a different angle. That's all." She states.

"Okay." I nod slowly. If she was jealous… she seems to have gotten over it now. Maybe. I don't know. Cat's really hard to read, okay?!

We ran the rest of the shoot and wrapped it up with a big round of applause, lots of hugs, a long list of people to follow on social networks, and massive apologies to the grocery store manager for creating a Joke-A-Cola fountain in one of the aisles. I'm definitely never coming back here.

Then everyone seemed to leave, except Andy. He stayed to help clean up all the lighting fixtures, grab the hidden cameras and such, which was really nice. Cat, Vik, Nicky and I headed to my car to load it up, since I won't have to be driving any fans so Cat plus her equipment will be able to fit.

"I guess that's a wrap." Vik beams, looking tired yet energetic. "But I don't think I'm cut out for a career in filmography."

"You did great." Cat smiles.

"Not as good as you! Damn, T is lucky she knows you." Nicky grins.

"So she's told me." Cat mumbles, blushing. She smiles at me as she heads to put a few things in the trunk.

"So, what's your last name, Cat?" Vik asks. Cat's eyebrows shoot to the sky, surprised.

"Why?" She questions.

"Well, we have to credit the director somehow." Vik reasons with a grin. Cat gets a conflicted look on her face.

"Oh, no, that's okay… You don't have to…" Cat shifts awkwardly. I furrow my brow for a moment, but then I understand. We can't exactly put Cat Valentine in the description as the director, especially since so many people that knew her would be watching this. But Vik and Nicky don't know that she's technically in hiding… and "Cat Valentine" is only one web search away from coming up as a victim of one of LA's most mysterious disappearances.

"What? Come on, you did good with this! You deserve credit!" Nicky argues.

"No, I really, I just did it for the experience…" Cat struggles to explain. She shoots me a look for help, but I've already opened my mouth.

"It's fine. She doesn't need credit if she doesn't want. She's probably just afraid she's going to be contacted by so many people asking her to do music videos for them, but she won't have the time to keep up with the demand, and there'd be a lot." I flash her a smile and she gives an embarrassed look. "We'll know the amazing job she did. That's all that matters."

Vik and Nicky stare at me for a second, and then Vik shrugs. "If that's what you want." He sighs. Cat mouths a thank you to me, then she turns back to Vik and Nicky.

"So now people will hear Tori's sound and really see her professional talent, and she'll be a star in no time. When's the tour?" Cat grins. Vik lets out a laugh.

"I'd like to say next week, but it's not that simple. This music video might have a big impact, it might not have any." Vik explains. Cat furrows her brow.

"It might take a little longer?" Cat frowns.

"It might take forever, but we won't stop trying." Nicky nods.

"It depends on who sees it, really. Networking. It's who you know, after all." Vik says.

"Oh…" Cat mutters.

"It's okay, Cat. You did great. You got my foot in the door. I can't thank you enough for that." I tell her. She gives me a small smile.

"Thanks, I just wish I could do more." Cat sighs.

"You've done plenty. Anyway, it's been a long day. I'm ready to pass out. We'll catch you guys later?" Vik asks.

"Yeah. Thanks, guys." I smile at them.

"Later, kids." Nicky winks. As they start to walk away, Andy passes them from out of nowhere, and Nicky shoots me a raised eyebrow before turning to walk away with Vik. I give Andy a friendly smile.

"Tori, could I ask you something?" Andy asks.

"Yeah, sure, go ahead." I nod. I notice Cat peer up from the trunk of my car, looking on curiously.

"Well," He starts, suddenly looking nervous while he scratches the back of his neck. "I really liked meeting you today."

"I really liked meeting you, too." I smile. He grins back.

"That's… that's great! I'm really glad. I know I can come off a little strong since I really like to help out." He shuffles.

"And it was really appreciated. Didn't come off too strong at all." I assure him.

"I'm glad you think so… You're a really cool girl, Tori. And I hope this doesn't sound weird, but I'd really like to get to know you more. I don't like the idea that this will be the only time we meet… I'm really drawn to you, so I know I got to at least take a shot. How'd you like to go out on a date with me?" He asks, and I let out a sigh. I should've seen this coming. Honestly, he seems like a really nice guy, and there's not much holding me back from taking a shot on him and just going on a date… But there is one thing holding me back.

Cat. I can't even deny it to myself. And no, it's not because I don't want to upset her out of the off chance she's jealous. It's because I'm so... into her right now. I honestly have no interest in pursuing something romantic with anybody other than Cat… Which is ridiculous because I can't pursue anything romantic with her, but I don't think I can try with anybody else until I get over these stupid feelings. I'd love to be able to say yes to Andy, but I know I'd just be leading him on at this point, and during the whole date I'd just be thinking… I wish you were Cat. Which is awful… he's treated me with respect, so he'll get the same from me.

"Andy… that's very flattering, but I'm not really interested… in dating right now. I'm very sorry. You're a really nice guy and you'll be a great catch for someone, and you'll be able to serenade them with that great voice of yours, and they'll be crazy about you. I promise." I say slowly. I feel a pang of pity as his face falls. I hate rejecting people, but I know it feels worse to be rejected.

"Oh… okay. It was worth a try." He gives a small smile. "Again, it was nice meeting you." Andy says, and then he walks away. I let out a sigh, and I feel small arms wrap around my waist from behind.

"Why'd you say no?" Cat mumbles softly, pressing a cheek to my back.

"Do you think I should've said yes?" I ask. She pauses for a minute.

"I don't know. Whatever you think is best. He was cute." Cat sighs.

"Yeah, but, I'm just not interested. He's not… the one for me." I explain. She's silent again, and then gives me a squeeze.

"I hope you find them soon. God knows you deserve someone incredible." Cat murmurs. I turn around and hug her back.

"Thanks, Cat. I'll do what I can." I chuckle.

"Good." She giggles, pulling away. "Help me take everything back to the diner?"

"Sure thing." I smile, popping the door open for her and holding it open for her. She smirks at me, shaking her head.

"You're never going to stop doing that, are you?" She sighs.

"Nah." I shrug, grinning.

As we drop off all the camera equipment through the diner's back door, Cat comes back with one smaller video camera.

"What about that one?" I ask.

"I asked to borrow this one a bit longer… you know, in case inspiration str-" She stops short, looking at the orangey colour of the sky.

"…Cat?" I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Tori, does your building have a roof?" Cat questions. I stare at her.

"Well… yeah… I mean, I know my building is a little run down, but…"

"No, that's not what I… ugh, Tori! I _mean_ is there a way to get up there?" Cat clarifies.

"Oh. Yeah, I think so." I say.

"Can you take us there?" Cat grins, looking excited.

"Sure, but, why?" I inquire, and she grabs my hand and drags me back to my car.

"_Inspiration_!" She exclaims.

"Okay, you're the director." I laugh, shaking my head. I drive to my building and we go straight to the elevator to the roof from the parking garage. When we climb the stairwell up to the roof, Cat pulls out her phone.

"Hi, Barry? Are you home from work? …Okay great. Can you pick me up from Tori's in fifteen minutes? …Yeah it went really well, I'll tell you all about it tonight… Okay, thanks. See you in a bit." Cat hangs up.

"I could've driven you home." I state.

"I know. But you drive me everywhere. Barry has to pull his weight sometimes." Cat winks, and then she walks through the door at the top. We're met with a brilliant sight of a sunset.

"Wow." I breathe. "This building just got less shitty."

"And it's perfect for a couple of dancing in the sunset shots." Cat smirks.

"Ah, I knew I hired you for a reason." I grin. "No music?"

"No, just… dance." Cat says, picking up her camera. I let out a sigh, feeling a little self-conscious dancing with no music, but I go take a position with the sun behind me.

"How's this?" I ask, moving my hips and swinging my arms.

"Perfect. Now let's see that amazing smile of yours." Cat grins, looking like she's glowing. I blush a bit, and hope the camera can't pick it up. I dance for a few minutes, letting my moves get a little bit more outlandish as I go on, making Cat giggle. "Look at how much more you've been able to let loose in just a sort amount of time."

"It's easier to let loose with just you around." I laugh, doing a shimmy.

"Oh really? Why's that?"

"I don't know. You're just comforting." I admit. I see Cat lower the camera and I stop dancing. She gives me a long look.

"Really? I'm so glad…" She sighs.

"Yeah, me too." I say. We look at each other a long time, just silent, taking each other in. Eventually she looks away, shaking her head.

"Okay, I think we have enough footage." Cat mumbles, putting the camera back around her neck. I let out a breath and she walks over to the edge of the building, leaning on the ledge and looking out over the city… over the city…

"Cat…"

"Mhm?"

"How high are we?" I ask, cluing in. She whips her head towards me, looking horrified.

"Oh my god, I didn't… I didn't think! I'm so sorry!" Cat gasps, running towards me. I can imagine I'm suddenly pretty pale.

"It's fine. I just have to… stay away from the edges, that's all." I gulp. Cat grabs my hands and looks intently into my eyes.

"And not think about it. You were fine until you started to think about it. Try to distract yourself. Talk to me." Cat encourages. Right. Distraction. Talk to Cat.

"Okay… If I were to ask you something, do you promise to be honest?" I question. She gives me a worried look, but then nods.

"Yes, of course."

"Why were you being so weird around Andy today?" I question.

She looks taken aback, blinking rapidly, and then she bites her lip. "Oh… that." She mutters.

"Yeah… You seemed pretty… off whenever he was near me." I recall. She closes her eyes, letting out a breath.

"Well, he seemed to be really into you." Cat sighs. So… she _was_ jealous?

"Yeah, but… that's not a big deal." I say slowly.

"No, you're right, it's not. But I just… I don't know. It'll sound stupid but I got a… bad vibe from him." Cat brushes her hair back behind her ear, and then wraps her arms across her chest, hugging herself.

"Really? How so? He seemed nice enough." I question.

"Yeah… now. But I don't think he's always been so nice." She grumbles. "I just don't think he deserved you, that's all. I wouldn't let you date someone any less than what you deserved."

"That's… sweet, but how do you know he was that bad?" I ask. She lets out a huff, turning away from me and taking a few steps away.

"I've seen him before." She admits in a small voice.

"What? Where?" I raise my eyebrows in surprise, taking a step closer to her. She seems to hug herself tighter.

"It's… not something I like to look back on." She mutters.

"Cat… if he did something to hurt you…"

"No, he didn't… hurt me, per say… it was…" She lets out a long winded sigh, "it was back when I was on the streets. I was begging, and… He walked by. I know it was him. I could never forget that face. I asked for money, just something I could put toward a sandwich. I usually wouldn't ask people, but it was a bad day for giving people and so… I asked. And he turned and spat on me." Cat trembles. My fists clench. Oh. No.

"Cat, if I had known…" I shake, fuming.

"You couldn't have… he obviously didn't recognize me. I look a lot better now. I didn't want to… cause a scene over it. It was three years ago. And you're right, he seemed nice. Maybe he changed? I don't know. I don't know his life. When I saw he was… interested in you… I guess I just got protective. I didn't want you ending up with someone who couldn't sympathize with others. Then I realized… I was being just as bad, not seeing his side of things. So I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. And if you wanted to go out with him…" She lets out a shuddered breath, "I would support that."

"Cat…" I sigh. I can't even handle the amount of kindness that she emulates. Showing sympathy to someone who was once so awful to her? I can't even imagine. I walk up behind her and just like she did for me, I hug her from behind. She puts her hands over my arms, which are across her chest just above her camera, and she leans back into me. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything you've been through. I'm sorry I didn't punch that guy when I had the chance." I murmur. I don't hold the same compassion she does. If someone hurts Cat, or disrespects her, they'll feel my wrath.

"Tori… Don't be sorry. And you don't have to punch anyone for my sake." Cat chuckles, squeezing my arms. She tilts her head to lean into my cheek. "Just promise me something."

"What's that?"

"Promise me… when you find the one for you… or just someone you're interested in dating… make sure they're everything you could ever want. Don't settle for less than what you want in someone… what you need in someone. They need to be able to appreciate you, what they'll have by having you. Meet all your needs. Kiss the ground you walk on. Work every day to make sure they're who you need them to be, and… they need to be special enough that you'll want to do the same for them. Just… make sure you find that. Please." Cat mumbles.

I'm totally taken aback. I barely even know what to say. That was so… heartfelt. Like all she wants is just for me to be happy, and make sure that whoever I find makes me happy as well. If I wasn't so floored right now, I would almost laugh at the irony of her being the very person she's describing. Instead, I just squeeze her tight, and nuzzle to put my mouth near her ear.

"I promise." I whisper.

"Good." Cat says, and I can feel her mouth turn up into a smile. I hear a buzz and Cat gingerly steps away, pressing her lips together. She looks at her phone then gives an apologetic look. "Barry's been waiting for five minutes."

"Oh. Oops. Better get you down there… and off this roof." I shudder.

"Yes, of course." Cat giggles. We head downstairs to a much more comfortable height and I wave goodbye to her and thank her again for everything as she heads out the lobby doors. She looks back at me with a smile as the door closes, and I find myself starting to the sing the bridge of my song.

"_Is it wrong if it makes you feel right? You'll never know if you don't even try…_"

* * *

**April 26th, 2017**

I love days off. The music video isn't quite ready yet, but Vik has been pushing me to write new music all weekend. I get his reasoning. If this music video goes viral, I'm going to need other original stuff pretty soon to back it up and show that I'm not some one-hit wonder. The problem is, I have absolutely no inspiration. I don't know what to write about, and Nicky has been showing me some sounds she's been working on and I just haven't been feeling them so far. We worked all Sunday, Monday and Tuesday on it, going well into the night and I had very little to show for it. If anything, I just ended up frustrated. So, Vik gave me the day off to recharge and maybe something will come to me. It's a little disheartening. I get artists have writers block all the time, but not after one song. If I'm having this much trouble now, it doesn't look good for me. and I really want to be able to write my own lyrics. That's important to me.

So how am I spending my day off? I'm gathering inspiration by lying in bed and listening to some of my favourite songs. So, relaxing, basically. Maybe I should write a song about having a siesta. Or just keep having one. It's not that I'm lazy, or dislike recording. I just think Vik was right. I need a break…

And my phone is ringing. Doesn't it know I'm siesta-ing?

I turn off my music and pick up my phone without looking at it. "Hello?" I ask.

"Tori?" I hear a weak, croaking voice on the other end. I furrow my brow.

"Who's… this?" I question.

"…Tori, it's Cat." She answers. My eyes go wide and I sit up quickly.

"Cat? Are you okay?" I ask frantically.

"Yeah. I just woke up this morning feeling awful. I think I got some kind of sickness. Ugh, my immune system hates me." Cat mumbles feebly. My eyebrows crease in concern.

"You sound awful." I sigh.

"Thanks."

"Er, sorry… Has Barry been taking care of you?" I ask.

"He's at work…" She breaks for a cough, "I've been surviving off of Dayquil. Anyway, I called to ask for a huge favour…"

"Do you want me to come over?" I answer immediately.

"What? N-no that's okay." She stutters.

"I'm coming over anyway. I'll bring you comfort foods, and then you can ask me your favour." I state.

"Really Tori, you don't have to." Cat says, sounding guilty.

"I want to." I claim. There's silence over the phone.

"…Okay." She agrees meekly.

"Great… hold tight, Cat. I'll be there soon." I assure her.

"You're the greatest." She wheezes. I hang up and jump up right away. Siesta over. Cat needs me.

I shuffle around my kitchen and find some salted caramel cookies Ms. Wilkinson made for me a few days ago when she saw how stressed I was, and they are heavenly. I'm sure Cat will love them. What else? A few cans of soup… Bananas are good when you're sick, and oranges… Ironically, these are all things that Cat makes sure I buy. Oh, and Mr. Purple. I bet she'd love to have him for cuddles while she's sick. Perfect. I'm basically a doctor.

I run down with my care package and hop in my car, practically speeding to Cat's condo. I buzz her to let me in, and her pitiful voice answering the intercom was almost heartbreaking. I impatiently wait for the elevator to climb to the seventh floor, and then practically as soon as the doors open, I'm at her door knocking. It's actually been a while since I've been here, but my main concern right now is…

"Cat." I breathe when she answers the door. She's all bundled up, looks really pale with deep bags under her eyes, and her nose is red and puffy. She gives me a small smile.

"Hi, Tori." She croaks.

"I brought you things." I state, lifting the bag up. She stares at it, then looks at me.

"…I can't even handle you. Thank you." She sighs, pulling her blanket tighter. "Please come in."

She steps aside and I step in. My jaw drops. Man her apartment is… classy. It's extremely spacious and the furnishing is gorgeous. It's honestly somewhere you'd picture a movie star living. It's a little dim, but that's my only criticism. I'd take this place over my shabby studio apartment any day.

"Oh yeah… you've never been inside." Cat recalls. "I'd give you a tour but… forgive me for not feeling up for it."

"No, of course I understand." I nod. I drop the bag next to me and then pull her and her blanket-wrapped self into a comforting hug.

"Tori… You'll get sick." Cat mutters into my shoulder, although she's not fighting the hug.

"I'll risk it." I state, running a hand through her messy hair. She lets out a deep sigh, and then quickly turns away to cough violently. "Oh, Cat…" I frown.

"It's okay. I've been sick before." She sighs.

"Do you want soup?" I ask. She shakes her head.

"I don't have any soup." Cat says. I flash a smile, picking up the bag again.

"You do now! Go lie on the couch, I'll go warm up a bowl for you." I offer. She shakes her head.

"No, please don't. I'll feel awful you're doing so much for me. Besides, I just ate some leftovers from dinner last night. My appetite isn't the best so I feel pretty full. Just… put any food you brought on the kitchen counter. Right through there. Thanks so much, Tori." She sighs.

"Okay, if you insist. I also brought bananas and oranges…" I explain. Her eyes brighten up.

"Bananas? Ooh, yay! Barry hates bananas, so we never have any." She smiles.

"And now you do." I wink. "And extra oranges."

"Never enough oranges." She chuckles, then goes into a fit of coughing. I let out a sigh.

"And I brought salted caramel cookies."

"What!? Um, on second thought, I think I have enough room for one of those now!" Cat gapes, somehow looking a little better just at the mention of cookies. I let out a laugh, handing her one. And then I pull out Mr. Purple. "Aw! Mr. Purple! Come to make me feel better?"

"He was very concerned about his mommy." I smile, handing him over. She smiles, holding the cookie and giraffe close. "Now I'll put these away. Go lie on the couch."

"But-"

"No buts." I state. She sighs and then obediently heads to the couch. I go into the _very _nice kitchen (are those granite counter tops?), and put everything away. When I head back into the living area, Cat's lying on her back, hugging Mr. Purple and looking over at me. I go up to her, and she looks very confused when I reach under her head to lift her up.

"What're you doing?" She asks, but I simply take a seat and place her head gently on my lap. She looks up at me with a mix of wonderment and puzzlement, but that look is quickly replaced by her eyelids fluttering closed when I start massaging her temples.

"My mom always used to do this when I was sick. It made me feel better." I murmur.

"Can't imagine why." She breathes, sounding content. I run my fingers over her forehead and hairline and she releases a soft sound.

"So, what was that favour?" I ask.

"What was what?" She mumbles sleepily.

"The favour you called about." I clarify. Her eyes open slightly before closing again.

"Oh yeah… well… you know what day it is, right?" She asks.

"Yeah… Wednesday… wait, didn't you have a performance tonight?" I inquire. She nods slightly.

"Mhm… but… as you can tell, I'm not in any fit state to sing." Cat sighs, and then lifts her arm up to cough into her sleeve.

"No kidding. Can someone else take your shift?" I ask.

"Well… out of the three other performers, one is out of town, one had a death in the family, and one quit." Cat explains.

"Oh… they never seem to be available." I note.

"I know, right?" She smiles up at me. "But… It's important that we have a performance tonight, and Bev will kill me if I cancel on her now…" She sighs.

"It's not your fault." I say.

"I know, but I still can't leave her hanging. That's… where you come in."

"What?"

"Tori… can you cover my performance tonight?" Cat requests.

My fingers stop their massaging as I stare down at her, and she stares up at me, biting her lip and searching my eyes. "Wh-what?" I stutter.

"I'm sorry to ask this of you, but out of anyone I know, you can pull an amazing performance out of nowhere. That's how you got into Hollywood Arts in the first place." Cat reasons.

"Well… yeah, but… I don't even know what to sing or… how to act up there and… that's a lot of pressure." I frown.

"I know. But… _you _know I wouldn't ask if this was important. Please, Tori." Cat begs, her tired eyes looking intently at me. She's right… I know she wouldn't ask this unless she really needed it. She's not the kind of person to ask for favours. I return to stroking over her hairline.

"Okay. I'll do it." I agree. She flashes a wide smile.

"Thank you, Tori. I really owe you." Cat sighs.

"Hey… it's what friends do. But… I still don't know what to sing." I scrunch my eyebrows.

"Just sing Shake… it's the best way to showcase your kind of music, and you need to practice performing it for the big stages one day." Cat says.

"Why do I need to showcase my music?" I question.

"Oh, no reason, really. Just that Bev likes the performers to be honest up on the stage. I would never perform a song I didn't like." She explains.

"Okay. And… is there any sort of choreography?" I ask. She shakes her head.

"No. I just kind of… move along with the beat." Cat describes, and I blush at the past memories of her doing so. She sure does.

"Alright… Anything else I need to know?" I ask.

"I'll call Bev letting her know after you leave, then you just get there around seven, she'll dress you up, and then you just have to sing… be yourself. Own that stage like I know you can." Cat states.

"I'll do my best." I gulp. It's not that I'm nervous about performing, but I am nervous I'll mess up for Cat's sake. I'll probably lose my shoe again and blind Bev, and then Cat will get fired…

"I know you will." Cat smiles.

"Do I have to serve food?" I raise an eyebrow.

"No, but Bev would marry you if you did." Cat laughs. "And Tori?"

"Yeah?"

"…Thank you for being someone I can count on." Cat murmurs, turning on her side to cuddle into my lap. I smile and comb my fingers through her hair. "And thank you for everything you brought. And this. You _really_ didn't have to."

"Yes I did, Cat."

I'd do anything for you.

* * *

I left Cat's place after I was pretty sure she was ready to fall asleep any second. I swung by Vik's place to grab a copy of the music for Shake so I could play it at the diner. Vik seemed surprised, but he supported it. He said "seeing the performances inspired you the first time, maybe being in one will do that same". That would be helpful.

After eating dinner and trying some meditation to calm my nerves, I'm now doing vocal exercises in the car on my way to the diner. Cat's counting on me, so I really don't want her to look bad to Bev or her other colleagues. I walk through the front as normal, and Bev is there immediately.

"Tori! Sight for sore eyes. Stacy called, poor thing sounds like she caught a death. Thanks for filling in for her. You're a life saver." Bev states. She beckons me to follow her. "Come on. We'll find an outfit that fits you. Stacy says you can sing?"

"I… think I can get the job done." I say.

"Ha! I was wondering what you'd say to that. After Stace told me, I looked up a few of your videos. Getting the job done? You're being modest. In fact, if you weren't busy trying to make a career of it, I'd offer you a job." Bev tells me as she leads me through the kitchen doors.

"Aw, thanks so much." I blush. Some of the kitchen workers look at me with confusion, but the wait staff that I recognize smile at me. I come here often to visit Cat, so I'm well known as "Stacy's friend".

Bev takes me into another back room with racks of sparkly, pretty outfits. She shuffles through until she finds a size for me. "Here, put this on." Bev says, handing it to me. My, how… revealing. But I've seen several of Cat's performance outfits so I shouldn't be surprised. Tanned tights, silver sequined micro shorts, and a ruby sequined corset that looks as though it'll bear my midriff.

"O-okay." I stutter, looking at it. She seizes me up for a moment.

"Hmm… the black heel boots you're wearing now will have to do. Do you have music?" She asks. I nod, handing her the USB. "Great. Now hurry and put that on. Five minutes until curtain." Bev states, and then leaves like a blur. My mouth pops open.

"_What?_" I gape. I'm performing in five minutes?!

I throw the outfit on and I realize there's not even a mirror to look at myself. The door opens and I jump as a waiter I recognize as Michael pops his head in.

"Tori! Show time." He says.

"Whoa! What if I had still been changing?!" I glare.

"Good thing you're not. Bev's about to introduce you. I'm to take you to your place." Michael explains. I follow him silently, feeling that familiar pre-performance dry mouth. I'm starting to become more aware that this will be the first time in forever that I've performed live to an actual audience. Oh god. _Picture everyone naked._

"Just stand here?" I whisper from behind a microphone, which is behind the curtain. He nods. "And, do I look any good?" I ask frantically, spinning around. He nods again.

"Yeah. Just relax. Stacy has a lot of faith in you. Break a leg." He winks, and then he leaves me alone.

Why am I so nervous… come on, Tori. Remember this is what you want to do with your life. Remember the message of the song. Remember you're doing this for Cat.

"Hello, diners! Tonight we have someone new performing for you. Coming all the way from Los Angeles in California, let's hear a round of applause for Tori Vega!" Bev announces. I hear applause, and then the curtain rises as my song starts playing. And…

Once again, I remember why I love performing. It does take me long to find my voice and to get caught up in the performance.

"_Yeah do we really even know what matters  
when we're stuck inside the same old patterns  
You know it's easy to forget that feelin  
when the kid in your heart stops dreamin_"

I jump down from the stage which is something I never saw Cat do, but it just felt right in the moment. I start singing and interacting with the audience, and they cheer and whoop in response.

"_Doesn't matter if you're six or sixty  
It doesn't matter if you're rich or thrifty  
If the moment feels right, just do it  
Who cares if you're lookin' foolish?_

_Ohh,  
You know life's too short to be complicated  
Ohh,  
Sometimes, sometimes,_

_Sometimes you gotta just shake,  
Shake what your momma gave you_"

I jump back on the stage and finish the song to completion and it's met with roaring applause. I feel so… fueled. Splashface is great, but how could I forget the thrill of live performance? The adrenaline of only having one take and an audience to give you immediate feedback? Ahh, that felt good.

I run back to a bunch of applauding staff and I smile shyly as I head into the back room to change into my regular clothes, pretty happy to have my stomach covered again. I walk out of the room and get enveloped into a hug by Bev.

"Hallelujah she has the soul of a performer!" Bev cries and I laugh, embarrassed.

"Thank you." I say, pulling away and brushing my hair back.

"Someone wants to talk to you." She winks, and I stare at her.

"Who?"

"Just come see." Bev demands, and she leads me back into the dining area. She leads me to a table near the stage and a lone man in a business suit is sitting there. He stands up as I approach.

"Tori Vega, right?" He smiles, sticking out his hand. I shake it tentatively.

"Yeah."

"Christopher Walsh." He gives another bright smile. My eyes widen. I had heard the name before… from Vik. Christopher Walsh, also known as Crave in the music world, is one of the top music producers in Canada. And now I'm shaking his hand. Vik would be having a heart attack.

"The Christopher Walsh? As in the Christopher 'Crave' Walsh?' I gasp, and he laughs.

"You don't need to add the 'the', but yes. That's me. It's a pleasure to meet you. I just wanted to tell you that I think you have something special. Nurture it a bit more and you'll go far in this business." He states. I nearly fall over.

"Wh… wow! Thank you so much!" I grin like an idiot.

"Are you signed with anyone right now?" He asks.

"Yeah, Singing Falcon Records." I answer. He scrunches his eyebrows.

"Hmm. Never heard of them. No matter. I want you to know I'll be keeping an eye on you." He says. I just stare at him. Say something, Tori. Anything. Now would be a good time.

"Yeah, I'll keep an eye on you, too!" Tori, you're an idiot. Why do you let words come out of your mouth?

He just laughs and shakes his head. "I hope so." He throws a wad of bills on the table. "Thank you for the wonderful performance." He says, and then walks by me to leave the restaurant. I stand there and catch my breath, and just when I think I've caught it…

"Well?!" I hear from behind me. I turn to see a bouncing giddy redhead who I could've sworn was dying a few hours ago. "Did he like you?"

"Cat!" I exclaim, and then clap my hand over my mouth before leaning close. "What are you doing here? You should be resting!"

Her face falls a bit, and she bites her lip. "Oh… I um… got better?" She says awkwardly. I study her for a minute. No red nose… normal complexion… no scratchy voice… usual energy level… I put my hands on my hips.

"Cat…" I narrow my eyes and she lets out a sigh.

"Okay, I _may _have… pretended I was sick." She admits. I blink at her.

"Yes… **why**?" I demand. She chews on her lip.

"Wait, first… what'd he think of your performance?" Cat asks.

"Who?"

"That music producer."

Again, I stare at her. "You knew he'd be here?" I gape incredulously.

"Well, yeah… Sometimes well-known music producers come here to scout out new talent. His people called ahead of time and I was slated to perform but… you know I don't want that life. But you do, so I convinced Bev to give you a shot. She likes you, so she agreed." Cat explains. She… But… she just… she…

"Why'd you fake sick?" I interrogate. She drops her arms with an egregious huff.

"_Because, _I know you. You would've felt like I deserved to be seen by him. But I could never… But you can! And also, if I told you the real reason I wanted you to cover for me, you might've ran in the other direction." Cat sighs. I open my mouth to argue, but I close it quickly. She's right. She's so right.

"But… you looked and seemed really bad earlier." I say in confusion.

"Yeah… that's why I really didn't want you to come over, but you sounded so convinced. Make-up and left over acting lessons from Hollywood Arts can go a long way. And guilt. You really bent over backwards to make me feel better and I wasn't even sick." She frowns. "I'll give you your cookies and stuff back… although I may keep the bananas…"

"Keep it all." I state. She looks at me with more guilt.

"No, I couldn't. I got them in a lie and-"

"No, Cat, you deserve them. You deserve everything." I say.

"Why?" She questions.

"Because that music producer… the one you _tricked me into singing for_… thinks I have something special and is going to keep an eye on me." I reveal. She pauses for a moment, processing the information, and then she throws her arms in the air.

"Oh my god! I knew he would! That's amazing!" Cat cheers.

"Why would you do that for me?" I shake my head.

"Hey, it's who you know, right? Now you know someone." She grins.

"Yeah, I do." I nod, and then I wrap her in the tightest hug. "I'm still mad that you tricked me."

"I'll take it." She giggles into my shoulder.

"I still can't believe… the lengths you go for me." I mutter into her hair. She squeezes me tight and nuzzles into my neck.

"Tori," Cat breathes, "I'd do anything for you."

* * *

**Author's Notes: Ohhh the length. It surprised me. I didn't have much planned beyond "shake music video" and "Cat faking sick", but then inspiration hit me. Like a wrecking ball. Ridden by Miley Cyrus. And then, like... 11, 000 words later, Cat's jealous, Andy's a secret asshole, and Cat and Tori are really starting to discover how much they care for each 'd do anything for each other. JUST ADMIT THAT YOU'RE MEANT TO BE ALREADY. Oh right, I'm the author... **

**So, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but the chapters are slowly being released further and further apart. This is not because I'm losing interest in writing the story, but because I'm starting to struggle with juggling school and this, which as you can see can be 11, 000 words long. It's a juggle struggle. Just be ****patient with me... I'll be sure to release everything eventually. If I need to take a short hiatus, I'll let you know through Twitter... but I won't be going on any hiatus until the next chapter. Know why? BECAUSE NEXT CHAPTER WILL MAKE A LOT OF PEOPLE HAPPY! Or angry. I don't know your lives. while you wait for that... let me know what you thought of this one. Yeah!**

**Fun Fact: "Crave" is not an actual Canadian music producer. I made him up. Sue me! And if you're actually a music producer in Canada named Crave... I guess you can sue me. Please don't sue me. **


	11. Victoria Day

**Disclaimer: Just got off the phone. I called Nickelodeon and asked if I could own Victorious. The guy on the other end laughed hysterically and then said "Yeah, sure, kid." So there you go.**

* * *

**May 5****th****, 2017**

"I still can't believe you met the Crave." Vik shakes his head.

"Oh, here we go again." Nicky rolls her eyes. "Vik, it was over a week ago."

"I know, but she shook his hand. _The_ Crave's hand!" Vik gushes.

"Actually, he told me he prefers to be referred without the 'the'." I chuckle. His eyes bulge out of his head.

"**You're on a first name basis**?!" Vik gasps.

"You are man-crushing so hard it hurts." Nicky sighs. Vik shakes his head and lets out a breath.

"Okay. I'm calm. I'm cool." He brushes his hair back.

"Yep, you keep on telling yourself that, chief." Nicky drawls.

"Moving on. How's that inspiration going, Tori?" Vik asks.

"Oh, great." I say, somewhat sarcastically.

"So you have a song written?" Vik inquires hopefully.

"Oh yeah. I have several songs written." I answer.

"What?! That's awesome! Why didn't you tell me? Nicky can start putting music to them!" Vik exclaims, but I shake my head.

"No, no. These aren't songs I actually want to sing. They're just lyrics of things I'm currently thinking about." I explain.

"Well that's good fodder. Deep thoughts make for good lyrics." Vik states.

"That's the thing. These aren't deep songs. This, for example…" I wave a sheet in the air, "Is about my massive craving I had for pancakes last night, but it was too late to go buy pancake mix. It's a power ballad. And this," I wave another sheet in the air, "is a song I wrote two days ago after I stubbed my toe." I look at the lyrics with a furrowed brow. "It's an angry song."

"…Wow. Sound like hits to me." Nicky comments, taking the pancake ballad from my hand.

"Well, like I said… I don't actually want to sing them." I sigh.

"Then why write them? Aren't you motivated to write anything serious?" Vik wonders.

"Oh, I'm plenty motivated. That's why I'm writing… pointless shit. Performing at the diner and meeting Christopher Walsh-" I hear Vik squeal a bit "-didn't do much for inspiration, but it definitely motivated me. I want to succeed at this. I don't want to put out a half-assed song because I had to. So I'm going to just… flex my creative muscle until I have an idea for a song that I'll be really passionate about." I explain.

"That's a good ethic, Tori." Vik grins.

"And your creative muscle is definitely being flexed. The rhyming scheme of this pancake song is actually very clever. I kind of want pancakes now." Nicky says. "Hey, here's a thought…"

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Why don't you write about Cat?" Nicky suggests. I roll my eyes.

"And why would I do that?" I sigh.

"Because, what are you more passionate about than Cat?" Nicky points out.

"Passionate? I'm just… pining for a relationship I can't have. I still don't know if this is infatuation, a crush, or what. I don't even want to think about it, let alone write a song about it." I mumble.

"Writing can be therapeutic." Vik states. I let out a groan.

"I know. I'm sure it is, but… that's not the song. Maybe there's a song I should write about Cat, but it's not about how she's getting married while I have my pity fest. I want her to be happy." I lament.

"Aw, sounds like love." Nicky swoons. I glare at her.

"Yes, I do love her very much. I care about her deeply but that doesn't mean I'm in love with her." I argue.

"You keep telling yourself that, chief." Nicky ruffles my hair and I let out a huff.

"_Anyway_, can we talk about something else? Like the amazing reception the Shake video is getting?" I ask. Vik grins from ear to ear.

"Sure. I actually-"

Vik is cut off by the sound of the front door opening and closing. Our eyes turn to the doorway of the sound booth, and soon Cat appears in the frame. I smile at first, happy to see her, but then I immediately sense something… off. Usually she'd be smiling from ear to ear, too.

"Hi." She has a small smile.

"Hey, Cat. You okay?" I ask. She gives me a surprised look.

"Yeah. I was just… wondering if I could hang out here today. You won't even know I'm here. I'll just hide out in the corner." Cat says. I frown slightly. Something's definitely off.

"Sure, Cat. Always happy to have you here. We were actually just talking about the success of the music video." Vik explains.

"Oh yeah. It was the fastest video to reach one million viewers so far on your channel, right, Tori?" Cat gives me a prideful look. It's true. My videos with over one million views generally took a few weeks to reach that many viewers. This one took a few _days_.

"Sure was." I beam at her. Still, her smile doesn't reach too far.

"I'm so glad." She sighs, taking a seat in the corner of the room. I give her a long look and our eyes lock. A silent question in mine, a pained look in hers.

"So, as I was saying, due to the success of the video and the song, guess what I did?" Vik states.

"Didn't meet Crave?" Nicky jokes, earning a scathing look from Vik.

"_No_. I've made it so that Shake will be available for purchase on PearTunes." Vik announces. I tear my eyes from Cat's for a moment to stare at Vik.

"What?! Really?" I gasp.

"Yep. Look how professional you are. Who's the best music producer?" Vik grins.

"You. Way better than Crave." I grin back.

"Aw, shucks…" Vik blushes.

"Wow, I can actually see his head swelling. Somebody get ice." Nicky comments, and Vik glares at her again. "Geez! I'm kidding. You dun good, Vik." Nicky states.

"_Thank you_. Now then, our next plan of attack… booking live performances, more promotion, and writing more songs." Vik points at me. I raise my hands.

"Okay, okay. I got it." I sigh. We talk a bit more about our next steps and throw more non-Cat related song ideas around. But more often than not, I was looking over at Cat. She was sometimes engaged in what we were talking about, but mostly she was worriedly chewing on her lip, with a far off and sad glint in her eye. You know how I get when she's like this… Extremely concerned.

"Well maybe we can get her to feature or something. Like, T could sing with Lights or someone." Nicky suggests.

"And how exactly do we make that happen?" Vik sighs.

"I don't know. Ask?" Nicky huffs. I look at Cat again, and her eyes are shut tight and her lips are pressed together. She opens her eyes and stares at the ground, looking very closed off.

"Like it's that simple. You can't just ask a big Canadian artist like Lights to let you feature on her song." Vik sighs. This is stupid. Not their conversation, but the fact that Cat's clearly upset and I'm doing nothing to make it better.

"Hey, have you seen the kind of person she is? She'd totally take a chance on T." Nicky states.

"Now who's having a woman-crush?" Vik jeers.

I get up and leave their argument behind to approach Cat. As I get closer, she looks up at me with her large eyes, and then she smiles. I stand in front of her silently, and I let out a sigh. She gives me a puzzled look before I sit down on her lap and wrap my arms around her neck, pulling her close. She collapses into my embrace immediately, as if she was trying to hold herself up this entire time.

"Tell me what's wrong." I whisper into her ear.

"Tori…" She mumbles. "I'll tell you later. I promise. I don't want to interrupt your work."

"Okay. I'm here for you, though. Anytime, no matter what." I state softly, giving her a squeeze.

"I know. That's why I came here… I just needed you near." Cat sighs, nuzzling close. I hold her tight and shut my eyes, breathing her in.

"I'm here." I say.

"Uh, guys?' I hear Vik say.

"Shh! This is _adorable_!" Nicky hisses to Vik, and I hear Cat giggle lightly. She pushes me back gently, giving an affectionate look.

"Get back to work. It's okay." Cat whispers, patting my sides.

"Okay. Let me know if you need anything." I state, and I leave a very soft kiss on her forehead. She blushes and smiles as I get up from her and head back to Vik and Nicky. Vik is raising his eyebrow while Nicky is giving me a smug look. I don't regret comforting Cat, but… Nicky's never going to stop bringing this up. Sigh.

Despite her not wanting to distract me from work, I still look over at her often. She always gives me a small, encouraging smile, and I smile back before tearing my gaze away. Vik has to frequently wave a hand in front of my face or Nicky would flick my forehead before I could really get into the work, but eventually my mind would always move back to Cat.

At one point Nicky is playing a jazz guitar beat, and I'm digging it at first. Then there's a break in the beat, and I hear a sniff. Not a cold sniff, not a breathing in sniff, but a trying-to-hold-it-together sniff. My head whips toward Cat and I see her wiping her eyes on her sleeve. I stand up quickly, facing her direction.

"Cat?" I ask quickly. She removes her sleeve and her eyes are glistening, and her make-up has smudged a bit.

"Oh, sorry. Don't mind me." Cat forces a smile.

"What's wrong, kid?" Nicky asks.

"This is a safe space, Cat. You can tell us anything." Vik assures her. Cat drops her head, looking at the ground.

"It's stupid… Barry and I had a fight." She mumbles. I pause for a moment, processing, and then I throw myself across the room and swoop down to pull Cat into another hug. She grasps at the back of my shirt, burying her face into my neck.

"Barry? You mean your fiancé?" Vik asks.

"Mhm." Cat mutters against me.

"Cat, I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?" I murmur.

"Maybe later. Right now… this is good. Being surrounded by supportive people." Cat sighs.

"No worries. Feel free to be as sad as you want here. You're like family." Nicky states. I hear Cat choke out a sob, which makes me squeeze her tighter.

"Thanks, Nicky. And Vik. And… Tori. I'm sorry I-"

"No more being sorry. Just let yourself feel. I got you." I mutter, and at these words she lets the walls come down and she cries into my shoulder. I once again slip onto her lap and hold her close to my chest, rocking her back and forth.

"Here. I got her a water." Vik says gently, appearing at our side. I take the bottle with a grateful smile and Cat tips her head back, looking flushed and tired but still so beautiful. She gives Vik a teary smile takes a sip from the bottle. Vik walks back to Nicky and leans against the wall. "You know, I bet our arguing hasn't helped." Vik whispers to Nicky.

"You're right. Temporary truce. Sorry, Cat." Nicky nods.

"It's okay. Not your fault. I think your arguments are funny, anyway." Cat smiles, leaning into my shoulder. I rest my lips against the top of her head.

"Oh, well in that case…" Nicky trails off, and then she lands a sharp punch on Vik's shoulder.

"Ow, geez Nicky!" Vik winces, and Cat lets out a giggle along with my own. Cat snuggles closer and takes in a deep breath.

"Feeling better?" I ask her quietly.

"Yeah. Thank you." Cat mumbles. I run my hand soothingly through her hair. I wish I knew what happened but… it's not my place to ask. All I know is that I want to murder Barry. With a chainsaw. And a spork.

"…Why don't you two get out of here?" Vik suggests with a sigh. I look at him questioningly.

"What?"

"Look, I know what it's like to have a bad fight with a significant other. I can't imagine how it must be with someone you're about to marry. I don't want to speak for you, Cat, but I can imagine you don't want to just sit around and dwell on it when you could be distracted." Vik says. Cat looks at him for a moment, and then slowly shakes her head. "Exactly. So maybe it's better if Tori took you out to get your mind off it."

"Plus, T will never be able to focus while her _friend_ is upset." Nicky smirks. I blush and roll my eyes while Cat looks at me worriedly.

"I don't want to impose." Cat sighs. I turn to look at her, and I touch her cheek gently, feeling the wet streaks her tears left behind.

"If it'll help, I'll spend the day with you. I can think of worse things." I smile. She smiles back.

"Okay." She agrees, kissing me on the cheek.

"Great. That's settled." Vik nods. "We'll work on some more things. Maybe we can do something with the pancake song." Vik ponders. Cat raises an eyebrow at me and I just give a sheepish smile.

"Why don't you guys go see the cherry blossoms? They're supposed to be in full bloom now." Nicky suggests. Oh god yes. I can just imagine… walking amongst the trees, Cat walking close to me… But wait, doesn't she have memories with Barry there? Is that really the best place for her right now?

But I feel a gentle tugging on my sleeve, and I turn to look into Cat's big, excited eyes. "Can we?" She asks. Aw, she's suddenly like a child full of wonderment.

"Of course." I smile, and she brightens up immediately. Thank you, Vik and Nicky… this is definitely something she needs. "Okay, let's get going. Hopefully it's not too crowded." I say, sliding off of her lap and pulling her up by the hands.

"But I like that about it… tons of people gathering in one place to see a fleeting moment of nature in one of its most beautiful moments. It's kind of poetic." Cat states.

"Poetic? That's it. Tori, you're to go there to have fun with Cat _and_ get inspiration." Vik orders.

"Yes, sir." I chuckle.

"But fun is your first priority." Nicky winks, shoving us out. "And don't come back until you're both totally happy with life. See ya!" She pushes out the door and closes it behind us, leaving us in the early spring air. Still a bit chilly… but it's comfortable. I like it.

"You heard the girl. Come on." I smile at Cat.

"Kay, kay." Cat nods while following me to my car, and I feel my heart swell. How cute can you get…

While driving, I find the happiest sounding song on the radio and blast it, and while I'm driving, I notice Cat staring over at me. I glance over at her and she releases a bashful smile, turning back to the front.

"You're going to love the cherry blossoms. There's something so serene about them. Like snow, only… warmer. A serene warmth. I know you'll like it." Cat gushes.

"I know I will, too." Because I'll be with you…

"And I know I'll really like seeing them this year with you." Cat sighs. Did she… just read my mind? "In the past years, I imagined what it'd be like to show them to you. Now I get to. You have no idea how much that means to me." Cat looks over again.

"Aw, Cat…"

"Sometimes, I still can't believe you're in my life again. Even though it's been a while… I still have to pinch myself when I think, 'I'm going to see Tori today!', and that's an incredible feeling." She mutters.

"I know what you mean." I agree. I still wake up some mornings and have to remind myself that Cat's alive and safe. I spent too long believing otherwise.

"Of course… it must be worse for you. At least I knew where you were, and how you were doing." Cat sighs. Seriously, she can read my thoughts…

"I guess. But I think we missed each other equally." I state. I feel her small hand touch my arm and squeeze, and shivers run up and down my spine.

"Yeah… you're probably right." She smiles. "I love you a lot, Tori."

Full on flush. Tingles everywhere. Head floating in the clouds. "I love you too, Cat."

Friends, just as friends. Not in love with anything. I don't even know what that feels like.

"I know… that's why you're taking me to one of my favourite places in the world just to cheer me up, as usual. You're the… best, best friend I could ever ask for." Cat states.

"As if you can talk. Vik still can't believe you got me to meet Crave." I chuckle.

"Still mad at me for how I did that?" Cat smirks.

"I found it in myself to forgive you." I smile.

"Excellent." Cat clicks her tongue as we head into High Park. I eventually find a parking spot, and Cat and I get out of the car. I already notice white and pink petals floating by in the breeze. Cat takes my hand and starts leading me down a path. "This way… get ready for your jaw to drop." Cat giggles. Her hand is so, so soft… this is the first time we've held hands while we were out without my hand being covered by a stupid glove. It takes everything in me not to run my thumb over her skin…

Apparently everything in me isn't enough. I'm doing it anyway. Ugh, whatever. I'm enjoying how smooth and silky her hand is to care right now. Cat squeezes my hand and leans closer as we walk in silence. Can I just… stay in this moment forever? I don't want to leave this moment. I don't want to give her back to Barry so he can make her upset again.

"Tori?" Cat asks softly.

"Mm?"

"Do you… do you think I'm insensitive?" Cat asks. I turn to stare at her.

"What? Cat, are you serious? You're probably one of the most caring, compassionate and sensitive people I know." I state. She grabs my arm with her other hand and moves her hand to lace our fingers together.

"Thanks, Tori… it makes me feel better that you think that." Cat mumbles. I look at her watching the ground as we walk.

"Why do you ask?" I question. She shakes her head.

"It's been on my mind lately. I… try my best to make the lives around me a little better. I try to be sensitive about other people's needs. But then I do selfish things like… Leave all my friends and family without telling them. Or…" She stops short, biting her lip. "I think I'm incredibly selfish. Barry said so… said I'm… self-absorbed."

"He _what_? How could he even think that? Does he not know you at all?" I seethe.

"Tori…"

"No, listen… I don't know the context of what you fought about, but the idea of you being selfish is… bullshit. If you ever do something for yourself, I know you have a good reason. This includes how you disappeared over three years ago. This is includes whatever caused Barry to accuse you of this. There's no reason you shouldn't do something that you feel is best for yourself, because you should always come first and… and… wow." I'm cut short by the sight in front of me.

White. But not from snow. There are a line of trees blanketing the pathway, dressing the area as if a wedding gown. The branches sway in the breeze, the petals fluttering around in flashes of pink. It's… beautiful. I've seen pictures, but nothing compares to seeing it in person. Just, the precious beauty of a new beginning. No wonder Cat loves it…

"Cat, this is… wow." I gape.

"Mhm." She agrees softly, but her eyes are trained on me, not even noticing the trees around her. I look over at her, and she's giving me an unreadable look. I just wish I could always read her face, or just know what she's thinking… "Tori?"

"Yeah?"

"I wish people didn't have to get hurt in the wake of me doing something for myself." She frowns. I sigh, touching her cheek slightly. She closes her eyes, a lone tear escaping. And I desperately want to kiss it away.

"You can't protect everyone." I mutter. She places her hand on my hand, leaning into it.

"What if I keep hurting the people I love most? What if I hurt Barry? Bev? Vik and Nicky?" Cat lets out a shuddered breath and her eyes meet mine. "What if I hurt you again?"

"Cat… what happened today?" I ask.

"Today… May 5th…" Cat trails off.

"Go on…"

"It's mine and Barry's anniversary. Of when we first met. Of when we first went on that date." Cat reveals. I stare at her.

"Did he forget?" I ask. She bites her lip.

"No. But you see how that's a bad thing, right? How that's insensitive to forget something so important with someone who you're going to spend the rest of your life with?" Cat looks away guiltily, and realization dawns on me.

"You forgot." I state plainly.

"Yeah. I woke up this morning to breakfast in bed, the biggest bouquet of flowers I've ever seen, and a gorgeous necklace. And my response?" Cat drops into her Stacy voice, "What's the occasion?" She seems to laugh a bit, mostly at herself, before she bites her lip to try to keep the tears at bay. I look at her neck and I notice… no necklace. "The look on his face… I swear I reached in his chest, yanked and pulled."

"But you didn't, Cat… You forgot. It was an honest mistake. You… you have a wedding coming up. An anniversary that will trump any coffee date. Not to mention it's keeping your mind pretty occupied. He can't blame you for forgetting…" I sigh.

"Under normal circumstances, yes. He would've probably just found it funny. But… This fight we had… it was a long time coming. And it was all my fault. He says I've been distant… I've been missing more appointments with wedding things than I ever should. I'm sleeping when he gets home at night rather than waiting up like I usually do, and if I get home later than him, I go straight to bed. I haven't been there for him recently. He called me out on all these things, and he's right… He's right, Tori. I should focus on him more. I should…" Cat chokes.

"And… why haven't you, lately?" I ask calmly.

"I don't know… I guess I'm confused." Cat furrows her brow.

"About Barry?"

"I think I'm just scared. I don't know what to expect…" Cat sighs. "I guess I'm taking that out on Barry."

"Sounds like you're still figuring things out." I say, running a hand through her hair. "Remember how I was? Worried about my future? If I could handle it? What'd you tell me?"

"I… didn't really tell you anything. I just dragged you into a grocery store and danced with you." Cat recalls.

"_Exactly_. That's how you are. You don't dwell on things. You dance them away. You laugh them away. Scary things can't even touch you, because they don't know how to handle _you_, not the other way around. You'll figure it out… just take it one day at a time." I state. She gives me a long look before tearing her gaze away.

"I better figure it out soon. Barry said it can't work if I keep going on like this." She mumbles. He said… he said what.

"Seriously?! So he just… placed all the blame on you. That's ridiculous. Yelling at you instead of talking it out? Instead of figuring out what's needed on both sides? Relationships involve communication, for god sakes. You can't always have them fit your ideal perception of what you want them to be like." I gape. This seems to light a bit of a fire in her.

"Well, I did try to tell him I've just been going through a lot of changes the past while." Cat recalls. "And that's not a bad thing."

"As you should've." I nod.

"And he just… dismissed me. Said he didn't think it was a very good thing if it took me away from him, but he doesn't even know if I'm going anywhere!" Cat rants. "Which I'm not. God, you're right. I start to break out of my shell a little bit and have a little less time for him because I'm finally putting myself out there a bit more, just like he's always told me, and suddenly I'm doing it wrong!"

"You're being Cat." I state. She blinks.

"What?"

"You're being Cat… He's used to Stacy." I observe. She blinks again, several times.

"Yeah… that's it. That's exactly it. I'm being Cat. I'm being a bit flighty and absent minded and distracted and you know what? _I fucking love it_." Cat fumes.

"Then let him get to know Cat. The real you." I say. "Because in my opinion, she's fucking awesome."

"I will… because Stacy is a side of me as well, but I really just want to… be Cat again. I get to be Cat around you and… not around him. That's why. That's why I'm distancing myself. I'm not being insensitive. I'm being Cat." She realizes with wide eyes. I take her by the shoulders.

"And Cat is the most caring, sensitive and beautiful girl I know that he is lucky to have." I claim. Uh… too much?

"Beautiful?" Cat blinks. Yeah… too much.

"W-well, yeah…" I mutter. She's still for a moment, and then she picks a petal out of my hair.

"You're beautiful too, Tori. And thank you. You… helped me figure things out. You make them better." Cat sighs, and I smile, almost certain my face is about to burn off from this blush.

"Talk to Barry, okay? Just talk it out. You'll fix things, I know it." I state. She throws her arms around me.

"Thanks, Tori. I will." She murmurs, and then she pulls back with a bright smile on her face. "Okay, let's actually enjoy the trees now."

"Yes, lets." I laugh, and I also brush a petal out of her hair. "Do you feel better?"

"Loads." She grins. "Look! See how half of that tree hasn't flowered yet? It's behind all the other trees. It only has buds. But when the petals fall off all the other trees, it'll stand out among the rest and still capture everyone's attention."

"Sounds like late bloomers are a blessing in disguise." I chuckle.

"Mhm. And those two trees are tied together at the branches…" She keeps making observations like this as she goes along. Being cheerful. Being free. Being Cat.

She walks ahead and I watch her endearingly as a gust of wind picks up some petals and swirls them around her. Damn… she's just… incredible.

"Hey Tori?" Cat calls back.

"Yeah?" I ask, trying to restart my heart.

"September 17th, 2012." Cat recites. I raise my eyebrow.

"What?" I question. Well she's definitely channeling the random side of Cat…

"I got a really weird perm that day. My brother wanted to try doing my hair, and… yeah. I guess it looked okay, but it wasn't really my style. My brother could've done worse." Cat recalls. And… the brother stories return…

"Uh huh…"

"I was walking through the hallway and I ran into this new girl. She was really pretty and really talented from what I saw at the showcase. I was hyper and over reactive and random… She must've thought I was crazy. But she was so nice… and she hasn't stopped being nice since. Even when I'm at my craziest." Cat smiles, turning to me. "That was the day we met, Tori… it's one of the most important days of my life. I'd never forget that."

Ulgh. Right in the feels.

"Cat…" I breathe, and she smirks and turns to walk away. Another gust of wind picks up and the petals blow around her. She looks like a mythical princess right now, the way the wind picks up her hair. Her hair… I love her hair, the vibrancy that matches her perfectly, and how it outlines her skin. You already know what I think of her skin, and how it covers that perfectly sculpted body that fits in my arms so well… And I love how she'll smile up at me, or at me in general, that flash of white breaking through my darkest moment along with her laugh and voice. I love how compassionate she is. I love how she looks at life. I love her comforting presence. I love… I love…

…

**Shit**.

_ShitShitShitShitShitShit_

* * *

**May 19****th****, 2017**

I've been avoiding Cat. Ever since my little… epiphany in High Park. I know. So mature. But I don't want to deal with this, and seeing Cat would mean dealing with it, on some level. It's too intense. When she's not around, I can ignore it a little bit… but I still pick her up from her late shifts, which luckily haven't been too often the past two weeks. But even then I'm pretty unresponsive and barely look at her. Every time I see her… It's too much.

She's been worried, of course. Asking me to talk. Asking me what's wrong. And I feel awful because I know how concerned she is and I despise causing her any sort of hurt. But what can I say to her? I just have to keep dancing around it. Sending her texts about how I'm busy at the studio, and she'd ask to come by, but… I'd just say no, that's okay.

I'm horrible. Absolutely horrible. But this is what I need to do. Anything else is… too hard. I wanted to move on from my feelings. Not… not…

"**Kid**!" Nicky slams a book down next to me and I jump. "What's up with you? You haven't been yourself for the past two weeks!" Nicky huffs.

"What happened to the gung-ho Tori? Now you're all… depressed." Vik notes.

"Yeah. It's bumming me out. Did you have another friend who was kidnapped?" Nicky asks.

"Nicky! Jesus Christ. Have some tact." Vik snaps.

"Sorry." Nicky mumbles. Vik comes over to me and kneels down.

"I mean, in some ways you've been burying yourself in recording and work more than ever. The cover we recorded and put of Splashface this week was very… passionate. But there's nothing here. You're not happy." Vik sighs. I turn away, frowning.

"Why be happy when things feel devoid of meaning, even happiness." I mutter. Great. I'm now a tortured soul. Fuck.

"…I thought you wanted to write pop music, not emo." Nicky blinks.

"Nicky, please." Vik shushes her. "Tori, you know by now you can talk to us."

"I don't want to talk about it." I mumble, turning my back away.

"Is it Cat?" Nicky asks suddenly, and I wince. "…it _is_!"

"Nicky, Tori said she didn't want to talk about it… Did you kiss again?" Vik inquires.

"Vik!" I glare at him.

"…That just slipped out. Sorry. No more questions. I'll leave it alone." He states. I let out a sigh.

"Iymunlufithkat." I rush out. They blink at me.

"Sorry… English, please?" Nicky requests. Another sigh.

"I'm in love with Cat." I say more slowly. I expect Nicky to cheer or something, but they both stand there stoically.

"Shit…" Vik sighs.

"That was my reaction." I mumble. Nicky kneels on the other side of me.

"What's your plan? What are you going to do?" She asks. I shake my head.

"So far, I've just been avoiding her. Trying to stay away, like I should have done in the first place when these… feelings came up." I reply. Nicky just shakes her head.

"No wonder you're so down. You can't keep yourself away from someone who means so much to you. It's not good on your mental or emotional health." Nicky sighs.

"Well what are my options? Being near her when I can't have her? I can't… I tried and it's so painful. Being in love sucks." I mumble.

"I'm not going to lie, you're in a really tough situation. Love can either be the best or worst feeling in the world. You're feeling the worst of it right now, and I'm so sorry." Nicky says softly. Nicky really does have a soft, caring side at times.

"What do I do?" I ask. "Do you still think she could love me back? I mean… I can't handle this. Feeling like this." I groan. She touches my shoulder gently.

"I do. I believe there's definitely a chance." Nicky murmurs.

"But what about her fiancé?" Vik asks, and I cringe again.

"Vik! Tact!" Nicky snaps.

"I'm just saying! He's kind of a major roadblock, whether Cat returns Tori's feelings or not. There's got to be feelings there, too. And if Cat does have feelings for Tori…" Vik trails off.

"It must be excruciating for her." I sigh. "But she has Barry to fall back on. He's the safe choice. Why would she take a chance on me?" I wonder aloud.

"Because maybe you're the one. If you believe in that." Nicky suggests.

"Do you?" I ask. She shrugs.

"To an extent. I believe everyone who comes along affects your life in some form or another until you and the right person reach the point where you're ready for each other." Nicky philosophizes.

"And are we ready? What if we're never ready? And besides, Barry believes Cat's the one for him. I can't… if it were me, how would I feel if someone tore Cat away from me?" I sigh, and then my head slams on the desk. "They have sex… I bet they have sex every night." I groan.

"Vik, we're losing her." Nicky states.

"Uh, okay. Don't… think about that. That'll just make it worse. Obviously falling in love with Cat is an unpleasant thing when you can't have her, but I think Nicky is right. Ignoring her and staying away isn't going to work now, either." Vik says.

"Why?" I mumble against the wood of the desk.

"Because… she makes you happy, on some level. Very happy. You want her in your life… But you're scared of complicating both of your lives. And I think she needs you, too. If she didn't, she wouldn't have come by here several times after you left to ask us if you were okay." Vik explains.

"She did?"

"Yeah, that's how I knew to ask if it was about Cat. She's very worried… we just kept telling her we'd keep an eye out." Nicky admits.

"You're not going to figure this out like this. You're just going to… fall into an even deeper pit of despair. You need to figure this out together." Vik says.

"How can I tell her? How can I tell her I'm in love with her? Then what? Ask her to leave Barry for me?" I whine.

"I say screw Barry. Take your chance. Maybe his time is up, and now it's your turn." Nicky suggests firmly.

"_Or_, you can do that thing where you love her so much that you're happy no matter who she's with. You know… just in case she doesn't choose you." Vik offers.

"I can't. I can't do that, Vik. I could tell myself I'm happy, but it'd be a big fucking lie." I sigh, turning my head on its side.

"Why? You love her, don't you?" Vik asks.

"Yes. And I've been in love for about two weeks. Or at least… since I've realized it. It's probably been longer. I'm not saying I'm an expert on the feeling, but I've noticed one notable difference." I state, drawing a circle into the table with my finger. "When you love someone, you want them to be happy. When you're in love, you want to be the one to make them happy."

"Damn." Nicky states.

"Tori… I don't know what to say." Vik sighs.

"Tell me what to do." I groan.

"What do you have to lose by taking a chance on her?" Vik asks.

"My world." I mutter.

"Annd we're back to emo." Nicky huffs.

"So, find a way to keep her close without destroying yourself." Vik says. I shut my eyes tight. They're right. I can't keep pushing Cat away from me. She means too much to me. She's my little ray of sunshine and right now my life is black as midnight. Okay, this tortured soul stuff needs to stop… either way, I risk destroying myself.

"I miss her." I mumble.

"I know you do, T." Nicky sighs.

"I don't know if I'm ready to face her." I say.

"Don't make her wait too long. You're just going to upset her, and I know you don't want that." Vik says.

"You're right." I mutter, sitting up. "Sorry I'm a mess."

"Hey, like I said… Best or worst feeling in the world. I hope you feel the best of it eventually." Nicky states.

"Me too. I'm still… not too comfortable with the idea of homewrecking, but… maybe you really _are _that cliché meant-to-be couple. Just… don't do anything that would ruin the purity of that. Talking only." Vik says.

"I know. I would never… I couldn't do that." I sigh. If I was that kind of person, who knows where Cat and I would be right now… "And maybe I just need some more time to get used to it. Maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion."

"That's the spirit, kid." Nicky grins.

"Thanks guys. I feel a bit better." I say.

"Good. Now I feel like I give you way too much time off, but maybe we should wrap up for the day." Vik states.

"I'd appreciate that. I need some time to sort out my thoughts." I mutter. "I'll see you guys on Monday, though."

"Uhh, no you won't." Nicky pipes in.

"Why not?" I furrow my brow.

"Monday is Victoria Day." Vik answers.

"What day?"

"Victoria Day… it's a holiday in most of Canada, so we'll be closed." Vik explains.

"Oh… what's it celebrating?" I ask.

"Some… queen. But honestly, it's mostly a day meant for drinking. Kind of like St. Patrick's Day." Nicky says. I stare at her. "Actually, having a drink on Monday might not be the worst idea for you. Take the edge off. After all, it _is _your day. Victoria Day." She winks.

Actually, it'd be a horrible idea for me. Vik and Nicky still don't know my wrestles with falling into a bad place with drinking. But, you know…

When in Canada, do as the Canadians do.

* * *

**May 22****nd****, 2017**

The Summerhill LCBO. This is apparently the largest liquor store around. If I'm going to let loose tonight, I'm going to splurge. It's just one night… one night of numbing, and then I'll face Cat tomorrow. You know, after the hangover dissipates.

This is… there are a lot of choices, holy crap. I was used to just wandering around parties and taking the alcohol off of anyone who I could charm enough – and depending on what those people wanted from me, it could be very easy to get them to give me a few shots. But now, I have the choice… what do I want? Beer? Vodka? Tequila? Ugh, not tequila. I'm still recovering from an incident back in my partying days.

And holy hell Canadian liquor is expensive… Well I'm just going to step away from the wine section… Okay, Vodka is a safe bet. Well… as safe as alcohol can be. And… that looks pretty. Sour Puss? Sure! Grab it. And, um… Creamsicle rum coolers? Yes please. Wow, I couldn't be more of a girl if I tried. I'm almost tempted to buy whiskey just to break gender stereotypes… Almost.

One stupid grin on my face while buying the alcohol later, and I'm on my way back to the apartment. When I walk in with my big bag of booze, I feel my phone vibrate.

_Tori, can we please talk? I really miss you. _

Oh, Cat… damnit. I miss you too. But I can't talk to you. Not yet.

I ignore the text and put my alcohol in the fridge, ready for later. It's too early now, even though I'm itching to break into it now… You know, thoughts like that make me really think I may have a bit of an addiction. Maybe this whole… getting drunk for a night is a bad idea. Maybe I shouldn't…

Another vibrate.

_If I did something wrong… I'm sorry. And if you just don't want to be friends anymore, I'll be confused but… I'll accept it. I just need to know, Tori._

Ugh, my heart. I can't ignore that one… I need to make her feel better somehow.

_Cat, of course I still want to be friends with you. I'm sorry I've been distant. Do you want to meet for lunch tomorrow? We'll talk then. _

I send that, and then I pause a moment before sending her another text.

_And I really miss you, too._

I let out a sigh and collapse on my bed. I feel so drained. No, I need a night to let loose. To forget what's going on around me. Dull my feelings… Cat sends me a reply.

_Okay. You've always helped me, so I want to help you. I'll see you tomorrow. Just come to my place around 12. I'll make something up for us. _

I know she wants to help, but she can't. Not when she's the problem. I don't know how she'll react to the news… that I'm in love with her. I have no idea what will happen from there. Part of me wants her to kick me out. Be angry and tell me she never wants to see me again, so I don't have to see her and I can move on. A larger part of me wants her to be understanding and tell me she can't be with me but she still wants to be friends and she'll do what she can to make it as not painful as possible until I can cope with my feelings. Knowing Cat, that's probably the most realistic response. And that still hurts my heart because… the largest part of me wants her to say she's in love with me, too.

And… and then what?

Ugh, I can't think about this right now. It's too much. I look over to the fridge. Maybe I could just have a shot now… just something take the edge off. Yeah.

I get up and drag myself to the fridge, pulling the vodka bottle out. And… shit. I don't have a shot glass. Oh well, I'll just… guestimate a shot amount in a glass. Perfect.

I pour a bit into a glass and hold it up to the light, seeing it gleam through. Soon, my world won't be as clear as this glass, and there's a weird comfort in that. Not a Cat kind of comfort, but…

"Well, happy Victoria Day, Victoria." I sigh, downing the liquor.

* * *

Something I forgot… When you don't drink for a while, and then you drink _a lot_, it hits you hard. So hard. It's been a few hours and I've been taking it slow, but _man _am I ever feeling it. Woo!

The first little bit I was just revelling in the warm, light headed feeling. The nice little numbing. Then I started drinking more, and I started giggling to myself… and then I drank more, and more… and somehow it got dark out. I should probably eat something. Then more drinks.

Look. Mac and cheese. Perfect.

Shit, I spilled the milk.

Shit, I dropped the butter.

Ow boiling water.

I don't think I got all the cheesy powder in the pan… oh well.

I eat my less than fancy meal, but I know I'm only eating it so I can drink more. At the rate I'm going at, I'll pass my limit in no time, and I'd really rather not do that. I just want to keep a nice buzz… forever…

Alone. In my apartment.

…

This is stupid. I'm in one of Canada's most urban centres on a day known for drinking! I shouldn't be inside drinking by myself. That's just sad. I should be out, living! But first, more alcohol.

There we go.

Now, let's hit the city. I pick out a black pencil skirt, black tights, and a frilly blue top… and I cake on my make-up. I think. I don't know, my image in the mirror was swaying too much.

Grabbing a clutch and everything I need, I put on my black heel boots and "sneak" out of the building. I'd feel ashamed if Ms. Wilkinson saw me like this, and it's a little hard to hide… I'm stumbling everywhere. But it's not my fault the hallway is so crooked!

I step out into the outside and… Now what? Fuck, I didn't think this through… Maybe I should just go back inside and look something up. Or sleep…

"Whoa, hi!" I hear as I bump into a large body. I stumble back to see a group of people about my age. I smile, embarrassed.

"Sorry!" I say. The guy I bumped into looks me up and down, and then smiles at his friends.

"No problem. You on your way to a party?" He asks.

"Yeah! Except… I don't know where." I furrow my brow, and then I start laughing nervously. The group looks at each other again with smiles on their faces.

"Well, girl, you can come with us! We're heading to the entertainment district to do some bar hopping." One of them says. I brighten up. They know where the night life is!

"Okay! That sounds fun!" I grin.

"Oh, it will be. What's your name, girl?" Another one asks.

"Tori." I answer.

"Alright, Tori. Let us show you a good time." The guy I bumped into says.

"Sounds good to me!" I beam.

Look at all this lack of judgment I have! Look at it! So freeing…

We all walk down the street together talking about random things. Apparently they're students at the University of Toronto, or something. They all have early class tomorrow, but apparently they're disregarding it in favour of Victoria Day. They all thought it was really funny when I said my full name was Victoria, and then they found it really interesting when I told them I was a singer from LA.

"Can you sing for us?" One asks.

"Ohhh, no, singing while drunk is a bad idea for me." I laugh.

"C'mon, you're not even that drunk." Another winks. Ha, what a kidder.

"Just a little bit. Go on." A guy near me nudges me. Well… Alright.

"_You don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action, you're never gonna fade you'll be the main attraction, not a fantasy, just remember me when it turns out right!_"

"Woo! This girl is good!" One cheers, I smile and start spinning.

"'_Cause you know if you live in your imagination, tomorrow you'll be everyone's fascination! In my victory, just remember me, when I make it SHIIIIINE!_"

And then I fall over, but somebody caught me. I'm still amazed how Make it Shine is still my go-to song.

"Dude, this girl is so hammed." I hear one of them mutter to the other.

"Haha, whoops." I chuckle, righting myself up.

"No problem. Let's hit up a club. I'll buy you a drink." The guy who caught me smiles.

"Yeah, me too." Another one snickers. Yes… free alcohol.

We head into a club and the music is blaring, the lights are flashing, and the atmosphere is fantastic. I went to a ton of house parties back in the day, but this is my first club experience. I just want to dance everywhere.

So I do. I bounce around the dance floor like a fire cracker. Eventually the guys I came here with start feeding me drinks. Good, all this dancing was sobering me up. Then I hear the DJ mix in a very old song.

"Oh my god, I love this song!" I yell, hanging off one of the guy. "Who sings it? I forget!"

"The Pussycat Dolls. And I only know that because Nicole was hot." He shouts back, and I laugh.

"Oh yeah! The Pussycat Dolls…" I trail off. Cat…

No, no I'm not going to get emotional drunk here. This is fun drunk Tori time. Not… thinking about Cat time…

I wonder what she's doing. Is she having a nice night with Barry? Has she even patched up with Barry? I never checked in with her… I'm a horrible friend. Cat's been nothing but wonderful to me. It's all my fault that I fell in love with her. God, I want to hear her voice right now…

"Tori, you okay?" A guy from the group asks. I look at him for a moment.

"Yeah! I'm just going to get some air." I yell.

"Smoke break?" He asks.

"Sure." I shrug. Not really, but I don't want to explain. I stumble through the crowd and back out to the outside. I walk far enough so the bass line of the club isn't too blaring, and I fumble for my phone. I have to try a couple times to get her number right before I remember I can just tap her name. Silly Tori…

"**Tori?**" Her voice answers right away when I put the phone to my ear, and it's enough to send my heart pumping wildly.

"Heeey, Cat." I grin stupidly.

"**Hey… what's up? I thought we were going to talk tomorrow…**" She questions.

"Yeah, we are, but you know… Just… wanted to see how you are… So. How are ya?" I ask.

"**Oh. Um, I'm okay. How are you?**" She asks back.

"Me? Oh I feel… I feel breat. Great." I stumble.

"…**That's… good. What are you doing right now**?" Cat asks. So many questions… but that's okay because they're coming from her beautiful mouth.

"You know… shtuff." I chuckle. "Just… Chilling."

"**Tori, are you drunk?**"

"Yes… wait, shit! I was supposed to say no!" I curse myself.

"…**Tori, why?**" Cat sighs, and she sounds sad. She shouldn't be sad… I'm happy. Happy Tori.

"Because it's… Victoria Day! It's my day! And apparently people drink today so I drank and now I'm drunk. Haha whoops." I giggle. She lets out another sigh on the other side of the line.

"**Yes, but why would you drink? You know you shouldn't… because of your… history**." Cat reasons.

"Oh, lighten up. It's just one night. I needed a night of fuzzy fun." I mumble.

"**But why?**"

"Because I just have so many _feelings_, you know? Feelings are… are difficult. I don't like them." I groan.

"**Oh… okay… Are you okay? Where are you?**" Cat asks, voice thick with worry.

"I dunno. Somewhere. I was just in a club. Cat, clubs are fun! I was dancing and then Pussycat Dolls came on and I realized the word Cat is in Pussycat Dolls so I thought you and I wanted to hear your voice and here I am!" I grin.

"**Yeah… I'm glad you wanted to hear my voice. Are… are you with someone? Like Vik and Nicky?**" Cat inquires.

"Pfft, no, they don't even know I'm here. I came alone!" I laugh.

"**What?!**" Cat gasps.

"No, no it's okay! I met this group of guys and they said they'd show me a good time!" I assure her.

"…_**What?!**_"

"Cat, relaaax. I'm fine." I huff.

"**Tori… I think you should go home now. Just, leave those guys and call a cab and go home. Please?**" Cat begs, sounding desperate.

"Why would I do that? I'm not ready to go back to reality." I scoff.

"**Listen, I don't know why you're reacting like this, but it's not worth putting yourself in danger! Remember? You regretted doing this before!**" Cat pleads.

"Yeah but Cat, it's just too hard." I whine.

"**What's hard, Tori?**" Cat asks softly.

"My feelings…" I groan.

"**What kind of feelings, Tori? What's making you want to shut reality out this much?**" Cat interrogates. Geez, this phone conversation is getting too deep.

"Feelings for yooouu." I admit, sighing.

"…**Wh…What?**" Cat gasps. I concur, Cat. What the fuck did I just say!?

"Oh, um, you weren't supposed to hear that…" I chuckle.

"Hey, Tori!" I hear from one of the guys, walking over in the group. "There you are. We're going to hit up another club! You coming?"

"Yeah, for sure! Cat, I gotta go. Time for more dancing and partying!" I grin, happy for a way out.

"**Wait, Tori. Where are you?**" Cat asks sharply.

"I don't know… um… entertainment district? Where ever the fuck that is. Haha. Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow! The guys are calling me!"

"**Tori, hold on-**"

But I hang up and let out a breath. Okay, no more drunk dialing. At least it'll give me a segue tomorrow.

Enough about tomorrow. I'm in another club and I'm being given more drinks! I know I should probably stop soon. I'm reaching my limit, if I haven't already passed it. Probably passed it, seeing as I'm not used to alcohol anymore… And judging by how sloppy I'm getting. I feel like the guys are just holding me up, now. Some of their hands are getting a little grabby, though…

"Hey, let's get out of here! I want Subway or something." One of the guys shouts. They all nod in agreement and pull me along with them, taking me out onto the sidewalk.

"How you doing, Tori?" One of the more grabby guys asks.

"Good, good! I'm having a ton of fun." I hiccup. They all laugh a bit to each other. They're probably laughing at me… Okay, no more alcohol, Tori.

"Well once we get back from Subway we'll do shots, okay?" A guy chuckles.

"Okay!" I grin. Damnit, Tori.

"Damn, she's cute." I hear. I follow his eyes and see a girl storming towards us… and I can barely believe my eyes, but I'd recognize that red hair anywhere.

"Hey honey, where you going?" One of the guys in my group hollers. Cat ignores him and stops right in front of us, staring right at me.

"Tori, come on, I'm taking you with me." Cat states. I stare at her dumbly. The guy next to me looks between us.

"Why do all the prettiest girls know each other?" He laughs.

"How'd you find me?" I ask.

"I've just been having a cab drive me up and down the entertainment district until I spotted you. Now I did so we can leave now." Cat says, taking a step forward.

"Wait, you two are leaving? Aw don't do that. Come party with us!" A guy drawls drunkenly. Cat shoots him a glare.

"Tori needs to come with me, now. Someone who can actually take care of her." Cat spits.

"Hoohoo! Check out the claws on this one." One of them jokes. I guess Cat can be vicious when her waitress outfit isn't on…

"I think we take care of her pretty well." I feel an arm slung around me.

"Oh yeah I can see that. She can barely stand!" Cat shoots me a worried look. Aww, Cat, don't look so worried…

"Hey, she's just having some fun!"

"I don't think her fun is what you're concerned about." Cat fumes, and someone chuckles.

"Well, you're more than welcome to join in on that fun." He winks. Cat rolls her eyes.

"Thanks, but I could think of many things that would be more fun… like jumping in front of a train." Cat huffs. Wow, go Cat.

"Then maybe you should go do that, bitch." The guy with his arm around me glares. Something about that statement sobers me up a little bit and I quickly shuffle away from his grasp. He goes to grab me and I somehow maneuver away, next to Cat.

"Hey, you… you treat her with respect!" I growl.

"Geez, Tori, don't be like that." One of them holds up his hands.

"No! She's right. You're not taking care of me at all! And I trust her _way _more than I trust you." I state. They look at each other with raised eyebrows and I turn to Cat. "Let's go."

She smiles slightly at me, anger dissipating. I walk by her and I stumble a bit, causing her to hold me up. I lean against her as she leads me to a cab and helps me inside. I wish I had worn flats or something…

Cat gives her address instead of mine, surprisingly, but I'm too tired to ask why. I'm just going to rest my forehead against the cool glass of the cab and try not to think of the movement of the cab. Urp. Definitely drank a little too much.

Neither me or Cat say anything the whole ride, but when we get to the front of her condo she's very hands on. Gathering me out of the cab, pulling me to the entrance and up the elevator. Then she leans me against the wall as she pops her door open, and she leads me inside.

"Is Barry here?" I ask. She shakes her head.

"He's in the Maritimes… They have something different than Victoria Day and he's representing TD at something or other." Cat explains.

"Oh, okay." I mumble. She sits me down on the couch, and then she's gone. "Cat?"

"I'm here, Tori." Cat calls from the kitchen. She comes out with a glass of water. "Drink this."

"Thanks." I sigh, taking big gulps. When I'm finished, she takes the glass and heads back into the kitchen. She comes out again with the glass full of water again. "Another?"

"You had a lot of alcohol tonight, Tori. You need to rehydrate." Cat says. I take the water and nod sadly, now feeling ashamed.

"Sorry I'm such a mess." I mutter, drinking more of the water.

"…Don't do this again, Tori." Cat sighs. "You can't do this."

"I know." I frown.

"I don't even want to think about what you might've done if I hadn't of shown up… if you hadn't of called…" She bites her lip and shakes her head before enveloping me a tight hug.

"I'm sorry." I repeat, feeling guilty. Damnit, I apparently love her meanwhile I'm causing her so much turmoil. Stupid, stupid…

"Don't be sorry. Just promise me." Cat requests softly.

"I won't do this again." I state, and I mean it. Not if me drinking upsets her this much.

"Thank you." She squeezes me tight, and then pulls away. "Now drink up or you'll feel awful in the morning."

"Am I staying here?" I ask.

"Yeah… just to keep an eye on you." Cat says, getting up. She heads into another room and I look down into my water, staring.

"Cat?"

"Yeah?"

"You're the greatest." I call to her. I hear her laugh a bit.

"You'd do the same for me. I think." Cat says back. I blink for a moment, finishing the glass of water.

"You think? Of course I would!" I state. She walks back into the living room with a bundle of clothes.

"Well, I wasn't sure there for a bit. I thought you hated me." Cat sighs, her voice sad. I did that… I made her sad. She sits down next to me, handing the bundle to me. "Here, something for you to change into… even though that outfit looks great on you."

"Hey! My sweater!" I laugh, and she smiles.

"Yeah, made sense for you to wear it tonight." She says. I furrow my brow.

"You like my outfit?" I ask, and she nods.

"Of course. Very sexy." She admits, and I feel myself blush. I stare down at the clothes she gave me.

"I definitely didn't hate you. Quite the opposite…" I mutter. I look up at her and her eyes are searching mine.

"Yeah… about what you said on the phone …" Cat trails off. Okay. How do I handle this situation?

"What'd I say?" I ask. Um… Coy works. I guess.

She bites her lip. "About… why you were drinking… about feelings…"

Coy didn't work.

I stand up quickly and get a bit of a head rush, but I ignore it. "Ohh, Cat, I'm drunk. You can't take anything I say right now seriously. Sorry for whatever I said. I have no idea what I'm saying." I rush out. She looks up at me, staring.

"Oh. Okay." She says quietly. I run my hand through my hair.

"Um, do you have a bathroom? Stupid question. It's okay, I'll go fine it. Find it. I just need to go splash water on my face and- whoa!" I cut myself off by tripping over my own feet, but Cat's there in a flash to catch me.

"Geez, Tori! Careful." Cat chides.

"Whoops." I mumble.

"Maybe you need another glass of water." Cat chuckles.

"Maybe… But I think I need to just… sit down." I groan, falling forward.

"Tori-!" Cat cries, trying to hold me up. She stumbles back, right into an armchair. And I fall on top of her.

"Oh god, sorry, I didn't… I didn't mean…" I fumble, trying to push myself off from my awkward straddling position. But she grabs my arms gently, stopping me.

"That's okay, Tori." She breathes. I meet her eyes, and they're large and bright as always. But there's something else there, along with the light flush in her cheeks.

"Cat…" I mumble. Despite my intoxication, I'm suddenly so aware… of her legs between mine, of her hands on my arms, the smoothness of her cheek, where my hand has found its way. I look at her long and hard, trying to make sense of the situation, and my eyes trail down to her pink lips, slightly parted…

I should turn away, now. Go splash that water on my face. Drink more water. Lots more water. But… Something stops me, and it's either the alcohol, or the feeling of her fingers tightening around my arms.

"Are you… feeling okay?" Cat asks gently. And I nod slowly.

"Yeah… I'm feeling great." I mutter, and I lean forward to press my lips to hers.

No. Wrong. So, so wrong. So… right… Her lips feel so right… No!

I pull away, looking at her with horror and embarrassment. She's staring at me with wide-eyes. "Sorry. I shouldn't have… shit. I should go. I should-"

"Shh…" She cuts me off with a hand on my cheek and I freeze, searching her. "It's okay."

"It… it is?" I gape. She bites her lower lip and her eyes drag down my torso and up to my eyes again. She nods slightly and then leans up to capture my lips in hers.

I respond immediately, as if my body is reacting to something that it's been craving for a long time. And it has. I've wanted this for so long… and it's just as amazing as I imagined it. More so. I collapse myself into her, pushing her back gently into the chair and move my lips against hers slowly. I move my hands to lightly grasp her waist and she moans – very lightly – before moving her hands up to tangle into my hair.

The sensation just causes me to deepen the kiss, this time me releasing the muffled moan. She arches a bit into me as the kiss becomes more heated, and I feel her tongue drag along my bottom lip agonizingly slow… But there's this voice in the back of my head… The sober side of me that's screaming at me to back off now.

I pull away for a moment, my face still nuzzled against hers as my lips rest against her jaw-line, mouth open and panting. "What… what are we doing?" I ask in a breathy voice.

"Tori…" Cat sighs, turning to kiss my neck. "Does this feel right?"

"Yes." I moan, my eyes fluttering shut. She pulls away and cups my face in her hands, forcing me to open my eyes and look at her. Her eyes are heavy.

"Then stop thinking about it." She whispers, pressing her lips to mine again. This time, when she runs her tongue along my bottom lip, I open my mouth – and my tongue meets hers, and it's glorious. She tastes exactly how I expected Cat to taste… and it's more intoxicating than any alcohol I've ever had. A good intoxication.

This is crazy… this must be some sort of drunken dream. But it's not. I can feel how concrete it is, and usually in my dreams I wake up before Cat and I can kiss. And I definitely recognize the feeling of the skin of her waist. My hands move up her shirt and I feel the tingly warmth it leaves on my fingertips. Just when I decide to take a breath, I pull away and then kiss her lightly again. I want to get back to the same intensity, because god knows her mouth and tongue are probably the best things in the universe, but I also want to experience more of her skin…

I drag my lips from her lips back to her jawline, and I start leaving little kisses along it. Her hands slink up my back and I feel her fingernails curl into my skin as I kiss down to her neck. I let out a small grunt as I start to suck on her neck, her soft skin gently nestled between my teeth. I know I've said this before, but… She smells amazing. Like everything I love most rolled into one… And I love her.

I let go of her soft flesh with a wet smacking sound and she groans, and I wonder if she's thinking the same thing. Will that leave a mark? Maybe I shouldn't leave it somewhere so noticeable…

I leave firm kisses down her neck and over across her front. She tilts her head up, allowing me access, and I continue my trail of kisses until I meet the material of her shirt. She places her hands below my arms at this and pushes me back. I give her a puzzled look, but it only stays a second as she rips her shirt off. I remove my hands and stare at her, smooth skin only covered by a bra. I must look completely awestruck, because I am. She's way too beautiful for comprehension.

My eyes dart up to hers and my mouth hangs open a moment, trying to find the words for something. This is… huge. She sees my hesitation, and she quickly swoops up for a deep kiss, and I quickly shove any inhibitions into the back of my mind at the feeling of her lips against mine – slowly becoming my favourite thing ever, if it isn't already.

She pulls back, giving me a comforting smile. "Tori, relax." She whispers, her hands finding my tense shoulders. She kneads into them, and I feel the tension melt away. "It's alright. I want this."

"Cat…" I murmur. I kiss her again and her arms wrap around my neck tightly. I move my tongue against hers, and she moans again before pulling away, nuzzling next to my ear.

"Do you?" She asks softly. I pull her close around the waist, feeling the skin of her back, the defined ripples of her spine…

"Yes…" I whisper. She squeezes me tightly and moves her head down to plant a firm kiss on my shoulder. Her hands move up to tangle in my hair again, and she leans back to kiss up my temple, along my forehead and the top of my head. I notice I'm at chest level and I lick my lips just thinking about running my hands over what's under that bra. I press my lips between her breasts and her head falls back with a grunt.

I kiss up to her collar bone. Here… here it won't be so noticeable. I suck along her collarbone, nipping and running my tongue along it. My hand runs up her side, shaking slightly and rippling along her ribcage. She shivers as I find a sensitive spot – either along her collarbone or the skin just below her bra – and then I fluidly cup her breast in my hand.

"Oh, Tori…" Cat breathes, arching into my touch. I can feel her nipple hard through the material and her breath comes out as a hiss as I run my hand over it. I imagine the imprints I'm leaving on her skin; the marks that have my name on them, and no one else's. I know because she gasps my name as I leave them, both on her skin and her mind.

I shiver and bite a bit firmly on her skin as I feel her fingers crawl up my thighs. I knead into her breast and she hikes up my skirt, her hands disappearing underneath. My skin feels hot and I kiss down her chest, leaving more firm kisses as I go. I reach the top material of her bra and almost growl in frustration, reaching around her back to the clasp of her bra. I fumble with it for a second as I feel her hands crawl up between my legs, resting on my inner thighs. I find myself aching for her and I thrust forward a bit, letting out a gasp. This is sobering. Too sobering.

"C-Cat." I shudder.

I start to think about why I needed to find a less noticeable place to make my mark. Why I need to move so slowly and cautiously. Why she needs to keep reassuring me. Why this feels so right, so incredibly right… but there's a nagging feeling that doesn't make this moment right. Not perfect, like it should be.

I'm kissing – no – making out with another person's woman. And if I don't stop this now, it'll progress even further. And I can't… I can't taint this. I can't taint her. She's not that kind of person, and I refuse to make her so. No matter how drunk I am, she's too important. I want this to happen, but not like this.

I want to be the person to make her happy, but not like this.

I pull back and grab her arms. "Cat, we can't." I pant, my heart squeezing tightly. Her eyebrows pull back, a look of pure disappointment.

"Tori…"

"No, Cat. This isn't… this isn't right. I'm drunk. You're engaged. This can't happen." I mutter through gritted teeth. I push myself up and off of her stumbling back, trying to ignore the throbbing sensation she left me with.

She lets out a shuddered breath, closing her eyes. "I know."

"This isn't okay." I state.

"I know." She repeats.

"What have we… what have we done? Oh my god, Cat… That shouldn't have even happened. I… uh… nng…" I groan, clutching my head. Why is the world suddenly spinning? Stop that, world.

Cat's head snaps to look at me. "What? What's wrong?" Cat asks frantically, standing up. I try to grasp at something for support only to find it's not there.

"I feel…" I mumble. It was too much. Too many feelings. Too much alcohol. Not a good combination.

"Tori? Tori!"

I feel her arms clasp around me just as my face rushes toward the floor.

* * *

**May 23****rd****, 2017**

Ugh. My head. I forgot how shitty this feels… everything's pounding. I definitely didn't drink enough water before bed… Bed… I'm in a bed, but it's not mine. I open my eyes fully to see a room I don't recognize. It must be Cat's room… It's starting to come back to me slowly. I stayed the night at Cat's after a… rigorous night of drinking. Stupid. But I did this to myself. I notice I'm still in my clubbing clothes. I guess Cat decided not to take it upon herself to change me, which is good considering what we did last night.

…Last night.

**Oh my god we made out**. _**Passionately**_.

How could I forget? It was… incredible. But wrong. That's why I stopped and then… I passed out. That's what happened. And now I'm in Cat's bed… please don't tell me I actually blacked out and had sex with Cat. One, because that would go against all my ethics and two, because I'd really like to remember something like that. But no, I'm still in my clothes from the club, tights and all, so I assume if I had sex last night I'd be a lot less clothed…. So I guess I only passed out and that was it. Phew.

I guess she must've carried my limp self to her bed. I notice I'm in that… position on my side you're supposed to put drunk people in when they're passed out. I remember because posters depicting that were all over the colleges I would party at. It's kind of her to do that and take care of me, even though I shut her down… and she seemed to _really_ want it.

Why did she want it? She's the engaged one. Maybe… Nicky was right. Where is Cat, anyway?

I slowly turn my body with a bit of a groan, ignoring the nausea, and flip on my side to see Cat facing me, eyes closed, chest rising and falling with the rhythm of sleep. Luckily, she has a shirt on again. Oddly enough, I'm used to seeing her look really peaceful when asleep, but right now she looks… troubled. I turn away again, not wanting to see that on her. I don't know how our talk is going to go when she wakes up, but I know I should at least look a little more presentable and less… promiscuous.

I drag myself out of the bed slowly as not to disturb her or my stomach. Cat doesn't stir, but my stomach does. Shit. Cat never showed me where the bathroom is.

I rush out of the room and find the bathroom just in time to be sick. Gross. Just leave me on the floor to die, please.

After a bit I collect myself and take the time to collect myself and clean myself up, including my smudged make-up, my bed head, and try to wash the disgusting taste out of my mouth. But I don't think anyone suffering from a hangover can really look that great. I head out of the bathroom and into the living room, seeing the bundle of clothes, my sweater included, still bundled up on the couch. Well, better than nothing. I take them back into the bathroom and change into the much more comfortable attire. Much better.

While I'm folding my clothes up, I check my clutch near the door to make sure all my cards survived the night. Looks like everything's there… my phone's dead, though. Great.

"You're not leaving, are you?" I hear a small voice behind me. I turn to see a frowning Cat standing in the doorway of her bedroom. I look at her a moment, flashes of last night stirring in my pounding head. I can see that armchair from here, and I swear I can still see the indent left by her back…

"No, of course not." I sigh. She nods slowly.

"How are you feeling? I heard you… in the bathroom…" Cat bites her lip. Fuck.

"Oh… I'm really sorry about that. I cleaned up, though, don't worry. And I feel pretty shitty… about a lot of things." I mutter, feeling flushed. Cat chews on her lip, those lips I felt on my own last night…

"Thank god you woke up, though. I was worried you had alcohol poisoning... I'll go get you a glass of water and an advil… or would you rather flat ginger ale?" Cat offers.

"Ginger ale, please." I mumble. She nods again, heading into the kitchen. I collapse down on the couch and hear the hiss of a soda can being opened, poured, and then stirred to make flat. She comes out with a large glass and an advil, and I take them both immediately. Again, really kind of her to take care of me, despite everything.

She sits down beside me and stares ahead, fingers curled around the cushion beneath her. "I'm really, really sorry, Tori." She whispers.

"Cat… I was the one who was shit faced." I sigh. She turns to look at me, and she looks close to crying.

"Yeah… and I took advantage of that." Cat mutters. I stare at her.

"I wish I could say I wasn't aware of what I was doing, but I can't… I knew what was happening." I mumble.

"Yeah but… I feel like… that wouldn't have happened if you were in more of a right mind, and maybe I knew that… I didn't bring you back to my place to get in your pants, Tori. I swear. That was never my intention. I just… I saw an opportunity and I lost control." Cat admits, her eyes downcast.

"…Why?" I ask.

"I don't know… I guess I… I guess I never stopped thinking of what we could've been, you know? I just… wanted to kiss you. I never thought it'd get so… far." Cat sighs, shutting her eyes tight.

"Maybe I was wondering the same thing. Maybe I was looking for an excuse to kiss you… and the alcohol gave me that. I think… we're both at fault here." I say slowly. She nods a bit.

"Yeah." She sighs.

"…So… what does this mean for us?" I ask. I want to know… if this changes anything. It should change everything. She looks at me again, a look in her eye… fear?

"Tori… I made a promise to Barry." Cat sighs. I bite my lip, feeling my heart shatter.

"I know. I understand. I totally get it. I do." I mutter. "It's okay. It… it didn't have to mean anything." I say. She looks at me with another sad look.

"I… don't want it to mean nothing. It was… nice. Even though it wasn't right. We still had… a moment. We can't ignore that. But it doesn't have to be a big deal." Cat suggests.

"Right…" I nod. Okay. It meant something. It was a moment we shared, but it doesn't have to be more than that. I can deal with that. God, imagine how much more complicated it would've been if we had had sex… "It was just… a very long kiss."

"A very long, nice kiss." Cat corrects, and I feel myself smile a bit in spite of the situation.

"Are you going to tell Barry?" I ask. She lets out a deep sigh.

"Like I said… it doesn't have to be a big deal. I don't want to… ruin anything between me and Barry if he blows it out of proportion. So, I'd like to just… keep it between us, if you don't mind. Our little secret." Cat requests, and I nearly shudder at the thought.

"Okay, if that's what you think is best." I nod, and I look at her neck. "Good thing I didn't leave anything noticeable." I state, pointing at the clear skin of her neck. She bites her lip and tugs her shirt down, revealing her collarbone. My eyes widen. Her right collarbone, chest and shoulder are covered in hickeys.

"Good thing I'm good at make-up, huh?" Cat sighs, smiling slightly.

"Uh, yeah." I stare. She pulls her shirt back up.

"So… are we okay?" Cat asks.

"Yes. Yeah, we're okay." I nod. She smiles more.

"Good, I'm glad. I'd hate if I… ruined anything with my selfishness." Cat mutters.

"Cat, for the last time, you're not selfish. I wanted it to happen, too." I sigh. "At the time."

"At the time?" Cat questions.

"Yeah. At the crazy, confused, drunken time." I state. I know. I've wanted it… always. Alcohol had nothing to do with it. But she's right. I can't have this ruined, and she can't know how much I really love her. That would ruin things. My heart aches more than my head, but I have to face the facts. She chose Barry.

But at least we'll always have that moment. Happy Victoria Day.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Released earlier than you thought, huh? Yeah, for some reason I really wanted to write this chapter... it must've been the steamy make-out session. How many of you were waiting for that? I know I was. Now there's still a problem... Will it happen again? I mean... it doesn't seem like it, but Cat and Tori do seem to have some unresolved feelings to deal with... especially Tori. She's in love, the poor girl. Now what are they going to do? WHY CAN'T BARRY JUST STOP EXISTING? Ehem. **

**So, did you like it? Did it satisfy your craving for Cori or do you need MOAR? You all probably want more. Well, okay. Leave a review if you do. I mean, I'll try to deliver the best that I can... eventually. School is doing that thing where it's being overbearing. Why, school. Why. Anyway, just know I'm going to do what I can, but it might not be once a week anymore! (At least, for November) Hey, at least I left you with the lovely image of a drunken Tori pushing Cat into a chair, furiously running their lips together... Oh, and happy Halloween, you crazy kids. **

**Fun Fact: Every time drunk Tori stumbles over a word, it's because I made a typo and I just kept it because it's funny and I could see drunk Tori mixing up words like that. Thought it was a fun way to write...**


	12. Ups and Downs

**Disclaimer: Please sir, may I have some Victorious? No? Okay...**

* * *

Cat asked if I still wanted to stay for lunch, but I declined. I mean I'm still feeling… very hung over and we were supposed to have lunch to talk, but I think we talked about all we needed to. From then on it would probably just be awkward silence. I think we both need some time to recharge, and I know for sure I need some time to let my heart heal a bit. Cat admitted she wanted to kiss me, and she more than proved that, but she's still sticking with Barry. So, I cabbed to my apartment with a heavy heart and heavy stomach ready to sleep the day away, until I charged my phone… Frantic texts and missed calls from Vik and Nicky asking where I was. Shit. Today wasn't a holiday.

I tried to make myself presentable, drank more water, and then headed to the studio, ready to continue on my life as normal.

"_There_ you are T – Holy shit you look awful." Nicky stares.

"Thanks." I mutter, plopping myself on a chair in the sound booth and groaning. See, I knew you couldn't look good hung over.

"Looks like somebody took our suggestion to have a drink very seriously." Vik raises his eyebrow.

"Yeah, you caught me." I drawl, resting my head on my hand.

"Well, was it a good night at least?" Nicky asks.

"It had its… ups and downs." I sigh.

"That's usually how it goes." Nicky comments.

"You feeling up to recording today?" Vik inquires.

"Sure… soft songs only, please." I mumble.

"Got it… maybe an acoustic cover of Shake as an extra option for PearTunes?" Vik suggests.

"That could be interesting." I nod.

"Cool. I'll work on some chords. You, um… try not to hurl, okay?" Nicky frowns. I shoot her a half-hearted thumbs up.

"Where'd you go last night?" Vik asks.

"Entertainment district… bunch of clubs…" I mutter.

"Alone?" Vik gapes.

"Well, originally. Then I met up with some random guys my age…" I start, and Vik opens his mouth to scold me but I cut him off, "Yes, yes, I know. Very dangerous. Very irresponsible. I won't do it again blah blah…"

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the hangover." Nicky states.

"Is there a right side?" I huff.

"Good point."

"Did those guys try anything with you?" Vik asks worriedly.

"Well from what I remember, some of them could be a bit… grabby, but I didn't stay with them long enough to find out their intensions." I explain.

"That's good. Glad you had the right state of mind for that at least." Vik nods.

"Yeah, well, I had help…" I mumble, my hand twitching. I look up at Vik. "What do you consider the line of 'cheating on someone' is?"

"That's… random." Vik's eyebrows shoot in the air. "I guess it depends on the person you're in a relationship with. Some guys or girls feel uncomfortable just by their partner interacting with a potential other partner."

"That seems extreme." I say.

"Maybe." Vik shrugs. "Personally I think crossing the line would be some sort of… physical intimacy."

"So like, sex." I state.

"Oh that's definitely cheating." Nicky comments.

"Okay, what about if it was just a… nice, innocent little make out?" I ask. Vik and Nicky look at each other.

"Yep."

"I'd say so."

"That's still cheating."

"Agreed."

"Great." I huff.

"Why do you ask? Did our little T get into a situation last night? Did you kiss one of the guys you were with at the club in your drunken stupor, and then later found out he had a girlfriend?" Nicky asks.

"No." I sigh.

"Then what?" Nicky interrogates. My eyes flash between Vik and Nicky. I know Vik will probably be disappointed in me, but I really have no one else to talk to…

"I made out with Cat… Or… she made out with me and I… helped." I confess. Their jaws drop.

"Hot. Damn." Nicky breathes.

"Tori… why?" Vik sighs.

"I was drunk!" I groan, throwing my hands up in the air. "But… I know that's not much of an excuse."

"Wait, wait, she made out with _you_?" Nicky asks.

"Yeah… Apparently she's… wanted to kiss me for a while. We talked about it this morning. I guess we just got caught up in the moment." I mumble.

"And then what?" Vik asks.

"And then… we moved on. Nothing's changed. She's still with Barry." I sigh.

"…I'm sorry. I like Cat, I really do. But you can't just… initiate a make-out with a best friend and write it off as just a 'moment'. She likes you, T." Nicky states.

"If she does, then she likes Barry more." I mumble. "She loves Barry. I just have to accept that."

"How far?" Nicky asks.

"What?"

"How far did this make out get?" Nicky reiterates, and I feel myself blush.

"Um… that's personal…" I fumble.

"So pretty far?" Nicky asks. "Like did you cop a feel?"

"Nicky!" I snap, then let out a sigh, "…Yes."

"Did she?"

"Very… close." I bite my lip, and without thinking I cross my legs at the memory. Nicky catches this and smirks.

"And she was the one to stop it?" Nicky continues.

"No… I was." I admit. Vik stares at me Nicky's smirk turns into a grin.

"See. That wouldn't happen if she were 'in love' with Barry." Nicky scoffs.

"Wait, you stopped it?" Vik gapes.

"Yes. Proud of me? And she has to be. Otherwise, why would she be engaged? Why would she still be with him?" I ask.

"I'm sure there're many reasons. Maybe she's confused about what she wants. Maybe she feels guilty." Nicky shrugs. "Maybe this Barry guy is forcing her into the relationship."

That one hits me right in the gut. Could that… is that a possibility? He does get upset if she's not acting the way he wants her to… Oh my god.

"Whoa, now, Tori. You look ready to murder someone. Nicky was just making hypothetical _suggestions_." Vik says calmly, shooting a glare at Nicky. "Let's not jump to conclusions."

"Alright… I just wish I knew what was going on in her head. Sometimes I feel like she has me all figured out while I'm… I'm in the dark with her." I sigh.

"Well here's a crazy idea. Why don't you ask her?" Nicky says.

"Yeah. You're really close friends, right? You should be able to put that before anything. If you feel in the dark, just ask her how she feels… Ask her why she's with Barry." Vik suggests.

"Won't that sound insulting? Like I'm attacking her?" I question.

"Not if it comes from you. Not if she knows the intention behind it." Vik states.

"Ugh, I guess." I groan, head buried in my hands. "I just hope she's honest with me."

"Why wouldn't she be?" Vik asks.

"As much as I love Cat… she has her secrets." I mutter. Vik and Nicky glance at each other and I quickly shake my head. "Let's move on. Can we focus on work and _not _Cat today?"

"Sure. I'll get started on those chords." Nicky nods, jumping off to her guitar.

"What about you, Tor? Any ideas on your own songs yet? Or are you too hung over to think of anything?" Vik smiles. I furrow my brow.

"No… no, I have an idea. Yeah. I know what I want to write." I state, turning to grab some paper and a pen.

* * *

**June 1st, 2017**

I admit. Cat and I haven't talked since Victoria Day. Unlike before when it was just me being crazy while she tried to contact me, now it's both sides. She didn't even send me her work schedule this week so I'd know when to pick her up late. And I feel horrible about that… this will probably be the one week where she had a late shift that involved one of the diner patrons deciding they wanted… Ugh I can't even think about it. I held my phone in my hand for the longest time, staring at it, trying to work up the courage to text her just to ask if she's okay.

But I couldn't. What can I say? I know she hasn't contacted me either, but maybe she has a good reason unlike me. What if she is in trouble? What if Barry found out about… us, and took it badly? I just want to know if she's okay… the fact that we made out shouldn't get in the way of that… but I've put it off too long. She'll know I haven't asked sooner because I can't get over myself, or that kiss… Or maybe she's sitting, phone in her hand, wondering the same thing as I am while she worriedly chews on her lip…

I know we're both being immature about this. We should be adults. We talked about it, and that was a good step… now what? Now we just avoid each other? Maybe… maybe our friendship can't survive this. And that hurts me more than you can ever imagine.

Fuck.

My mood on the whole situation has been noticeable by Vik and Nicky, obviously. They're just so observant. Sometimes I almost wish they were only about milking money out of me for the music business and didn't care about me as a person so I could just stew alone in my thoughts… then I realize how stupid that is and I'm really very grateful for both of them. I don't know how I'd be handling this Cat thing on my own.

"Damn, Tori. I like it." Vik stated after reading my lyrics to my last song. We were in the studio yesterday, and I finally got to a point where I was satisfied with my lyrics.

"Yeah. And I can definitely see… the influence." Nicky nodded.

"Do you think it's too much?" I frowned.

"No, honesty is good. This is good material and fans love that connection where you let them in." Vik explained.

"Are you going to sing this to Cat?" Nicky asked. I slumped down in my chair, sighing.

"Well that's what drove me to write it. I have to be able to _talk _to her first before I can even hope about singing this to her." I muttered. "Plus, I'll need music with it."

"I'm on it." Nicky smirked, "Seriously, this gave me some great ideas. I can't wait put those ideas to practice."

"Great. I'm glad." I grinned. I watched Vik read over the lyrics, and he seemed to be thinking hard. "What's up?" I asked.

"It's just so real." He sighed.

"It's how I feel." I mumbled, and then he threw the lyrics to the side.

"That tears it. We have a song written. It's great. Meanwhile you're in turmoil and that doesn't fly with me. You need a vacation. We all do." Vik stated, and Nicky raised her eyebrow.

"You? Vikas? Suggesting a vacation?" Nicky scoffed.

"_Yes_. I think we deserve it. And I know just where we should go!" Vik announced, sticking his fist in the air.

"Oh no, I know where this is going." Nicky sighed.

"Tomorrow we're going to **Wonderland**!" Vik declared. I blinked at him.

"Yup. I was right." Nicky groaned, and he shot her a glare.

"Hey, you love Wonderland, too." Vik accused.

"Yes, I do. But you have like an unhealthy obsession with it. Like you're impossible to control while we're there." Nicky stated.

"That's just because it's _amazing-_"

"Uh, guys?" I got their attention. They looked over at me. "You do realize you both sound crazy right now, right? Wonderland? What do we do? Find a rabbit hole to fall down?" I questioned. Vik grinned and patted me on the head.

"Oh poor, misguided Tori. We're not talking about Alice in Wonderland. We're talking about Canada's Wonderland!" Vik exclaimed. Again, I blinked at him.

"So… we find a beaver hole to fall down?" I asked. Nicky snorted in response to that.

"I'm just going to ignore that you said that. Kid, Canada's Wonderland is a theme park. A pretty decent one, too. At least… I really enjoy it. Vik _really really _enjoys it." Nicky explained.

"Hey, I have a lot of great memories there. I discovered my love of music there after seeing a concert. I had my first kiss there. Once, I found a twenty dollar bill on the ground there." Vik gushed.

"Oh, the memories." Nicky rolled her eyes, smiling slightly.

"Wait, a theme park? With like… rollercoasters?" I asked.

"Yeah, really good rollercoasters, too." Nicky nodded. I feel myself go a bit pale.

"Oh, uh… that sounds fun, but…" I muttered.

"What is it, T?"

"I'm… kind of afraid of heights… and by kind of I mean extremely." I admitted.

"Well that's a shame. Now we can't suspend you from a wire at one of your future world tours." Nicky sighed.

"Please don't." I squeaked.

"Don't worry about it, Tori. Although the rollercoasters ARE the best part, they also have rides that don't go too far off the ground, games, shows, and a water park… You'll still be able to enjoy yourself." Vik assured me.

"And they have a giant fake mountain." Nicky added.

"It has a bathroom on the inside." Vik stated excitedly.

"Well… okay, if you say so. Let's go to Wonderland!" I agreed.

I've never seen Vik jump so high.

No wait, I lied. **Now **I've never seen Vik jump so high. We just walked into the park and the first thing I heard was Vik's squeal.

"It's _**Snoopy**_!" Vik exclaims, dashing past all the kids toward the person in the dog costume.

"Wow. You weren't kidding." I stare.

"I need to get him a leash." Nicky shakes her head. "On the other hand… _**Snoopy**_!" She cries, suddenly dragged me behind her.

"Oh boy." I laugh as I'm dragged, and then she lines us up to get a picture.

"Yes. This day is a success already." Vik grins looking at the picture afterward.

"Instagram that shit." Nicky orders, and I raise my eyebrow at her. "…What? My hair looks really good in it!"

"Okay, okay, you two are the Wonderland experts. Where to now?" I ask.

"Well I'm guessing you want to stay away from rides like that." Vik points at a very tall, light blue rollercoaster, "AKA The Leviathan. Or that," He points to a tower next to it, "The Drop Tower."

"I still like to call it The Drop Zone. Stupid copyright laws…" Nicky mutters.

"I don't care what it's called. Keep me far away, please." I request.

"Fair enough. Don't blame us if we dump you in an arcade for a bit while we ride some coasters." Vik chuckles.

"Fine by me. You two will have sick stomachs and I'll have thousands of ticket in prizes." I state.

"Sounds like a plan." Nicky leaps on me with a noogie. "Wonder Mountain's Guardian? It's like, thrilling, but it has fake height. Perfect for you."

"Let's do it." I agree, feeling their excitement becoming infectious.

After that ride we went on a couple of other rides without much height, and I had to agree it was fun… I wish I didn't have my crippling fear in the way, but as I predicted, while Vik and Nicky abandoned me to go on a coaster, I had plenty of fun playing one of the park's many prize games.

"And the winner is at station number three. What prize would you like?" The announcer asks.

"Uh… the yellow monkey." I request. The small monkey is handed to me and I put it in my bag. At least I'll have a friend to replace Mr. Purple. I never got him back from that time Cat faked sick… And I guess I'll never get him back now.

No, no. This is vacation day. I'm here to lose myself in the atmosphere and thrills. I'm not going to stay hung up on…

…Cat…

As usual, I recognize that red hair anywhere, but there's no way. She has to be stalking me. I mean, what are the chances? But there she is, walking with Barry. But honestly, I only slightly notice Barry. The whole amusement park has started to fade away, and all I see is her. Her and the way the wind whips up that red mane, a smile on her face as she looks around her. Then she looks in my direction. Her face falls and she stops. But she doesn't give me a look of anger or of being upset, in fact I think she's just as surprised as I am. Barry looks at her with confusion, and asks her something, but she doesn't seem to notice him either.

Honestly, it's only been just over a week, but it feels like forever.

Suddenly my body is in control. I just start sprinting towards her, and she has just enough time to react and meet me the rest of the way as I envelop her in the tightest hug yet. Suddenly all the awkwardness and worry and drama doesn't matter anymore. I just had to see her… and suddenly it's all okay.

"Cat." I choke into her hair, not even caring if Barry hears me or not.

"Hi, Tori." Cat murmurs, squeezing me tight.

"I'm sorry I haven't contacted you or given you rides home from work or-"

"No, shh, it's my fault too. I'm sorry." Cat sighs.

"We're being dumb. I can't afford to be dumb. I miss you too much." I mumble.

"I know what you mean." Cat snuggles close. "Let's stop being dumb."

"I'd like that." I chuckle, pulling back to see her beaming face.

"Hello, Tori. It's nice to see you again." Barry nods at me. Oh right. He's here.

"Nice to see you, too. What brings you to Wonderland?" I ask. Aren't you supposed to be working or something…

"Um, Barry took a day off." Cat explains.

"Yes. Stacy has been a bit… tense lately, so I thought it would be good for her to come here for some R&R." Barry adds.

"In the form of screaming wildly on thrilling rides of mayhem." Cat mutters, shifting slightly. "Why're you here?"

"Same reason… I was tense. Vik and Nicky brought me here." I say.

"Oh." Cat frowns. "Feel better?"

"Much, now. You?"

"Can't even remember what tense means." Cat grins, and I grin back. She's right. It feels almost… back to normal. I'm still in love with her, and I'm still questioning a lot of things about her feelings, but I'm just appreciating her company. "Where are Vik and Nicky?"

"They're on… Behemoth? I can't go on something like that because-"

"Fear of heights. Right." Cat nods.

"I don't blame you, Tori. Coasters aren't really my thing. Stacy is the one who likes them. I prefer the relaxing rides, like… The Windseeker." Barry states. Cat rolls her eyes.

"Boring." She chuckles, and Barry smiles at her.

"Hey, I just went on Stunt Track with you." He states.

"Oh, big man." She jokes again. Okay, starting to feel a little sick at the sight of their affectionate banter.

"Hey, look who it is!" I hear Nicky call as her and Vik return to us. Thank god.

"Hi guys!" Cat smiles as they come up.

"Fancy meeting you here." Vik smiles back. He looks over at Barry. "You must be… her fiancé?"

"Yes, Barry Miller." Barry extends his hand, which Vik shakes. "Friends of Tori's?"

"Yes, we're also her record producers." Vik explains.

"_And_ we're Cat's friends as well." Nicky adds. Barry raises his eyebrow, and me and Cat freeze. Oh yeah, that's what tense feels like.

"Cat? What cat?" Barry asks. Vik stares at him.

"Cat. Your fiancé." Vik says slowly.

"You mean Stacy?" Barry questions. Cat shoots me a desperate look.

"Stacy? Your name is Stacy?" Vik looks at Cat.

"Uh…" Cat flounders.

"I thought it was Cat… wait… what?" Nicky blinks.

"You think her name is Cat?" Barry blinks. And now's my time to jump in.

"Oh, you guys, you're such kidders." I laugh, batting Vik on the arm. "Acting as if your cute nick name for her is her _actual_ name."

"…What." Vik stares.

"You know, when you first met her. She walked in and Nicky was like, you're a cool cat! And you've called her Cat ever since? You know?" I wink, nudging Nicky in the side before continuing through gritted teeth, "Remember?"

"Oh. Uh. Yeah, sure." Nicky furrows her brow. "Right, of course. Silly me."

"Nicky, what are you talking about, that never happ-OW!" Vik howls when Nicky steps on his foot.

"Sorry. Spider. Don't worry, I got it." Nicky states.

"Gee, thanks." Vik mumbles.

"So, Cat, huh?" Barry inquires. "I like it. It's cute."

"Thanks." Cat smiles. Great. That was supposed to be something _we_ shared… something Barry didn't know about.

"Maybe I should start calling you it sometimes, hmm?" Barry raises his brow. Oh, hell no.

"Oh, I think you should just stick to Stacy." Cat pats him gently on the shoulder. Thank you, Cat…

"If you insist." Barry shrugs. "I'm going to head to the washroom. Hold my stuff?" Barry holds out his satchel.

"Sure." Cat nods. Barry walks off, and there's a bit of an awkward pause, then…

"Okay, what the hell was that? Your name is Stacy?" Vik gawks. Cat whips around to look at him, a serious look on her face.

"No, no it's not. It's Cat. My name is Cat. You guys have it right." Cat states firmly.

"Okay… so does Barry have some sort of mental disability where he gets names wrong all the time?" Nicky scoffs.

"No, he just… He knows me as Stacy." Cat mutters, looking embarrassed.

"And why does your fiancé know you by the wrong name?" Vik questions.

"It's… it's complicated…" Cat says in a small voice, staring at the ground. I can tell she doesn't want to talk about it. She doesn't want to let anyone else into that deep, dark, secret world.

"Guys, no more questions, okay?" I request, pulling Cat to me in a tight embrace. She snuggles into me gratefully.

"Well, alright. It's still pretty weird if you ask me, though." Nicky sighs.

"Everybody's entitled to their secrets." Vik agrees, giving me a pointed look. I guess now he has a better understanding of what I meant by Cat having her secrets.

"So, where to next?" Nicky asks, unfolding a map. Vik walks over to her and looks at the map as well. I feel Cat squeeze my sides gently.

"Thanks, Tori. You saved me twice, there." Cat whispers. I encircle my arms around her tighter.

"What are friends for?" I murmur, and Cat lets out a deep sigh.

"Tori, I wish we were-" She cuts herself off.

"What?" I ask curiously. She shakes her head, nuzzling me at the same time.

"Nothing, just I owe you one." Cat states, pulling back with a smile. I brush a piece of her hair back.

"You don't owe me anything." I say gently.

"What happened?" Barry asks as he comes over, and I quickly release Cat. He puts a hand on her arm. "Stacy, you okay? You look upset."

"No, I'm fine. Never better." She flashes him a genuine smile and hands his satchel back.

"If you're sure." He eyes her suspiciously, but she just flashes him a smile and he seems to relax. "Damn, it's hot out."

"Yeah, I didn't think it was possible." I note, fanning myself. The sun is high in the sky and it's beating down on us with intensity.

"Well it _is_ June. I told you Canada has some warmth to it." Cat chuckles. Must be because you're in it…

"Hey, why don't we go on these rides, then?" Nicky suggests, pointing at the map. "I mean, we might get a bit wet, but then we can have a late lunch while we dry off."

Barry turns to Cat. "You want to join them for the day, Stace?" He asks. Cat beams at him, nodding.

"Yeah! I'd love to!" She grins.

"Alright. Who was it again… um… Nick and Vicky?" Barry questions. My record producers' faces fall very quickly.

"Uh. Vik and Nicky." Nicky states, crossing her arms.

"Right. My mistake. Where were you suggesting we go?" Barry asks.

"Timberwolf Falls and White Water Canyon…" Vik reads off the map. I feel Cat grab my arm.

"Tori, you in?" She smiles at me excitedly.

"Of course." I laugh, and her smile grows. We head to another side of the park, making casual conversation between the five of us, until we get to Timberwolf Falls… which is like a log ride. Where a log goes down a waterfall. Nope. "Uhh…"

"Seriously, T? It's not even that high." Nicky huffs.

"You guys go on. It's okay. I'll wait here." I nod, Cat touches my shoulder gently.

"You sure, Tori? I can wait with you." She offers, but I shake my head and shove her along.

"Go. Have fun. Fall off a waterfall." I urge and she chuckles.

"Okay. Meet us over there, by that bridge." Cat points to it.

"Better yet… meet us _on_ the bridge." Nicky winks. Cat looks ready to protest.

"But she'll-"

"Shh, it's okay." Nicky claps a hand over Cat's mouth, dragging her away.

"Uh, unhand my fiancé, please…" Is the last thing I hear from Barry as they head to the line. I let out a deep breath, heading to the bridge they were talking about. I notice as I reach the bridge, the pavement is a darker colour… a wet darker colour… and there's a bunch of people standing on the bridge…

Just as I'm about the reach the bridge, one of the logs drops down the falls, and I jump back just in time as the blast of water floods over the bridge, drenching the people on it.

"Damnit, Nicky." I grind my teeth. If I had gotten here any sooner… oh, she's dead.

I wait a bit far back from the bridge, watching the people get drenched over and over. It looks kind of fun, but I don't know if I want to get _that_ wet. I let out a sigh, taking a moment to reflect on Cat… I am being stupid. I need her in my life. But for some reason, it's easier when she's near me. When she's not… all I can think about is this moment when we were walking here and Barry's hand was on her waist. Ugh. Heart ache.

I see her and Barry and Vik and Nicky dropping over the edge of the falls, and I hear her scream louder than anyone else, the biggest smile on her face, and I can't help but smile, too. Solution? Keep her around me at all times from now on.

After they get off the ride, I watch my now-soaked friends (and Barry) comes towards me, Nicky looking disappointed.

"Aw, you dodged the spray zone?" Nicky frowns.

"Luckily. No thanks to you." I glare. Cat steps into my field of vision, her hair dripping, droplets of water running down her skin. I'm completely mesmerized at the sight for a moment, until I notice the sheepish look on her face.

"Aw, Tori, you look like you need a hug." Cat states, opening her arms. I gape at her.

"Cat, don't you dare." I warn, but she steps closer.

"C'mon, Tor, give me some sugar." She grins evily.

"Caaaat!" I groan, but it's not like I'd really fight her away. She pushes her dripping body against me and I feel the water start to seep into my clothes, her equally wet arms and hands tangling in my hair. "God damnit." I mumble, and she shakes against me as she giggles, which almost makes my eyes roll into the back of my head. My head falls forward, resting lips against her wet shoulder. My arms wrap around her waist and she relaxes into me, suddenly both finding this hug more than just a playful moment.

So I keep her around… but how do I fight off these intense feelings?

"You call her Cat, too?" Barry asks, and I look up at him. He looks very uncomfortable, shifting slightly and frowning at our situation. I feel bad for saying this, but… Good.

"Sometimes." I mumble, and Cat giggles again, pulling away. I look down my shirt, and there's like a Cat-sized splotch of wet across my blouse tank-top and jeans. Nicky claps Cat on the shoulder.

"Thatta girl." Nicky praises.

"If Cat hadn't done it, you would've." Vik scoffs.

"Damn straight. But it's much better that Cat did it." Nicky winks, and both Cat and I blush.

"Do I get a hug?" Barry grins. Cat laughs and shakes her head.

"You're already wet, silly!" She chuckles, pecking him on the cheek as she walks by him. His smile twitches a bit, and he shoots me a questioning stare. I feel guilty under the gaze, so I basically duck by him.

"Where too, next?" I ask quickly.

"You can go on this one. White Water Canyon." Vik states.

"Which is really like brown water, but what can you do." Nicky shrugs.

"Well, I'm already wet, thanks to Cat." I grumble, although there's a smile on my face. I don't bother covering her name up in front of Barry anymore, now that he knows of the "nickname". Part of me just likes to rub it in his face. He gets her as his bride, _I_ get to call her by her true name. _I _get her wet hugs.

"You're welcome." Cat smiles at me.

It was a long line up to the White Water Canyon, but it was nice line up through the trees… and Cat had her arm looped around mine the entire wait, which I wasn't complaining about. Barry looked unperturbed, but I wonder what he was actually thinking. On the actual ride, (yes, I got soaked, but not as much as Vik. He practically drowned), Cat avoided a spray of water by jumping into my lap, which got a sharp "Stacy, they said to stay seated!" From Barry… He looked a little bit more perturbed, there.

We all had lunch together, and Barry kept calling Vik Nick and Nicky Vicky. At one point, Nicky leaned over to us, annoyed, whispering "I think he actually **does** have trouble with names". This made Cat snort into her food and caused Barry to raise his eyebrows. I can't help but feel a bit bad… He's engaged to Cat, yet he's kind of the fifth wheel here.

Oh well.

It's been really nice, though. I don't know why I was worried. Sure, Cat catches me looking at her a little too long at some points, but she just gives me a flattered smile and stares right back. Other than that… we're being good friends. Just friends. This can work. Yeah. Sure it can. I don't want to smash my lips against hers…

"Tori?" Cat questions, her face in front of mine. I snap out of it quickly.

"Uhh yeah?" I ask, and she smiles slightly.

"We're… going to go on The Leviathan. It's the best coaster in the park, in my opinion… You… probably don't want to, but I just thought I'd ask…" Cat bites her lip. I frown, letting out a sigh.

"I wish I could, but… It'd probably be a bad idea." I say, and she nods.

"No, I understand. I'll see you when we get off, okay?" Cat smiles.

"Yeah, sure." I smile back. This sucks. I remember _really _liking coasters before my fear of heights kicked in. Fuck this fear.

She walks away with Barry and I feel a gentle nudge in my side. "Hey kid. I know you got that whole… fear of heights thing, but don't you think it'd be worth it to go on Cat's favourite coaster with her?" Nicky mutters to me.

"Why's that?" I sigh.

"Well, for one thing, she's right. It's an awesome roller coaster." Vik gapes, staring up at it.

"Yes, very _tall_." I state.

"I'm pretty sure it would also mean a lot to Cat. Just think about it, T. Wouldn't you love to have her by your side on this ride of your life? Or would you rather Barry take another moment with her?" Nicky asks, and I shoot my eyes toward the two. His hand is on her waist again. "Wouldn't you do anything for Cat?"

"Yes." I fume, and then I run forward to catch up. "Hey! Cat!" I call out to her, she turns around and I let out a gasp. "I'll go on."

"What, are you sure?" Cat asks with wide eyes. I let out a shudder.

"Hey, I might as well get used to heights again slowly. By… going on something that flies you through the air at terrifying speeds." I gulp. But Cat's mouth breaks into a grin.

"Okay! If you're sure!" She jumps on me with a hug. Don't let go. If you do, I might have a panic attack…

Unfortunately she has to let go, and I spend the entire line-up trying not to think about what I just agreed to. God damnit, Nicky.

"Tori… are you sure about this?" Cat asks me with concern.

"Mhm." I barely breathe out.

"You can still back out…"

"No, I want to go on this ride with you." I state.

"Okay…" Cat frowns, rubbing my arm soothingly. "Don't do this just for me, though."

"I'm not." I assure her. Sure, there's the whole… desensitizing to heights thing. But Nicky was right. I'm not going to give up any more moments with Cat.

"Hey, there're only four seats in each row." Barry points out. Vik looks at the car.

"Huh… so there is…" Vik trails off, and Nicky leans over to whisper in his ear. He smirks and nods slightly. I furrow my brow at them.

"What are you two up t-" I start to ask, but the line starts moving forward into the boarding area.

"C'mon guys, they have a time limit!" Nicky exclaims, shoving us forward.

"Gotta hurry! This one, right here!" Vik shouts, and before I know it, Cat and I are planted next to each other in the seats with Vik an Nicky beside us. Barry is left standing beside our car, looking awkward.

"Don't worry, Barry. I'll know you're right behind me." Cat assures him.

"Right…" Barry sighs, rubbing the back of his head and taking the seat behind us. I shoot Vik and Nicky a look that I think was supposed to be a glare, but I'm pretty sure I turned out looking grateful. I need Cat beside me during this.

"How are you feeling?" Cat asks.

"I don't know if I feel better or worse now that I'm sitting down." I mutter. Cat slips my hand into hers, squeezing it tightly.

"I won't let anything bad happen to you. I promise." Cat murmurs.

"I believe you." I sigh. But I know I'll freak out anyway once I see how… high…

The train is moving.

WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THIS?

"Oh god oh god oh god." I whimper as we make the incline.

"It's okay, Tori." Cat says soothingly. I shut my eyes in response.

"Don't shut your eyes, T. It'll make you feel sick." Nicky calls to me.

"She's right. Bad experiences." Vik groans. I pop my eyes open and notice how high we've gotten. I know I wanted more moments with Cat, but this is possibly the worst moment of my life.

"Is there a panic button?" I squeak.

"The incline is always the worst part. The anticipation of falling… Once you fall, it'll be amazing." Cat assures me. I look over into her caring eyes. I can't help but think… I fell for her, and it hasn't been amazing… or, has it?

"Here we go!" Nicky calls out, and I notice we're about to drop.

"Oh holy fucking **shit**!" I scream, just as we make the drop.

I think I black out, for a moment, but then I'm flying. Cat's hand is firmly in mine, keeping me anchored, wind rushing through my hair, stomach twisting from adrenaline. I let out another scream, but not out of fear. This is a scream of joy.

"Is she alive?" Nicky calls over. We just stopped, and I'm leaning forward slightly, hair everywhere, mouth hanging open. Cat squeezes my hand.

"Tori, you okay?" Cat asks, but I'm still recovering. "Oh… Tori, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even asked you to go on here…"

"That… was… incredible." I gasp, looking up at her. She looks surprised, but then she beams.

"Really?"

"_Yes_. Oh my god. Now get me down from here before I remember how high I am off the ground!" I exclaim.

"Right away." Cat giggles, and she pulls her out immediately once our bars pop up. "How was the ride, Barry?"

"I think I'll stick to the shows, thanks." Barry mumbles, and Cat frowns slightly.

"I loved it!" Vik cheers. "Woo!"

"Picture time!" Nicky says, practically sprinting downstairs. Great. Pictures. I Probably look terrified.

Except I don't. I look… really happy. Ecstatically so. Vik and Nicky are making gang signs to the camera, and Cat… is looking over at me, watchful and caring… And she's happy, too.

I look at Barry's photo. He looks bitter.

"So, can we do that again?" I grin.

"Yeah, for sure!" Cat beams.

"Actually, Stacy… I think that took too much out of me…" Barry mutters. He looks pretty gray.

"What? Are you okay?" Cat asks, her worry switched to her fiancé.

"No. I feel awful. I'm just not cut out for this stuff, Stace. I think I should get myself home." Barry sighs. Cat looks conflicted, glancing between me and Barry for a moment.

"Oh, okay… I'll take you home now, then." Cat says. What? Barry brought her here for R&R and now he's just… making her leave? "Thanks, you guys, I had a great time." Cat runs to give Vik and Nicky a hug.

"Shame to see you go." Vik frowns. Cat frowns, too.

"Yeah…" She comes over to me, giving me a tight hug. "We'll talk again soon?"

"I promise." I murmur, and she squeezes me tight.

"I'll give you my work schedule so you know when to pick me up… if that's okay." She whispers.

"Please do… I'll see you then." I state, and then I kiss her on the side of the head. She pulls back with a smile, and returns to kiss on my cheek.

"C'mon, Barry… I'll make you a tea and some dinner, okay?" Cat says to her fiancé, leading him away with a hand on his back. Way to say goodbye, Barry… not that we said goodbye to him. I let out a deep sigh.

"Man, what a boring guy." Vik scoffs.

"As if you're one to talk." Nicky raises her eyebrow. Vik just shrugs.

"Whatever. I'm getting an Icee."

* * *

**June 4****th****, 2017**

Maybe I can just ignore Barry's existence. Yeah. That's how this will work. I can pretend like he's an imaginary person, and that way I won't have my heart shattered every time I think off them kissing. Or having sex. Or standing at the alter and saying I do.

'Cause that's healthy.

Just as Cat promised, she sent me her work schedule. And just as I promised, we've kept in touch as if nothing happened. I picked her up last night from work and we talked about my new song, but I wouldn't tell her what the song was about… it's a surprise, as usual. Still, she seemed excited, and I wonder what she'll think when she really hears it. But right now… I'm just trying to enjoy what I have with Cat now, and pretending Barry doesn't exist.

Yes, I've been thinking about this all morning. As If I think about anything other than Cat these days.

Ugh, my phone is ringing… Vik went back to his serious, hard-working self after Wonderland, so he's probably calling me to come into the studio to make up for lost time. Leave me alone, Vik. It's Sunday.

Huh… wait… Unknown number?

"Hello?" I ask into the phone.

"**Hi, is this Tori I'm speaking to**?" The voice asks. I furrow my brow.

"Yes…"

"**Ah, excellent. Hello, Tori. This is Barry**." He says. Well fuck, so much for pretending he doesn't exist.

"Oh. Hi! How'd you get my number?" I question.

"**I took it off Stacy's phone. How are you**?" He inquires.

"…Good… How are you?" I awkwardly ask back.

"**I'm Well, thanks. Pleasantries aside, Tori, I have a request I'd like to ask of you**." Barry states. God… why do you have to sound so… businessy?

"Ask away." I sigh.

**"I would like to formally invite you to lunch today at 12 o'clock PM at the Pickle Barrel in Yonge and Dundas square. Do you accept**?" Barry requests. I fumble a bit.

"Um… will Stacy be there?"

"**No, unfortunately Stacy is dealing with the matters of wedding dresses today, so it will just be the two of us.**" Barry explains.

"Oh… okay… If you don't mind me asking… why?" I raise my eyebrow.

**"Well, I can't fight the fact that you seem to mean a lot to Stacy, and I realized I don't know anything about you. So, I thought it would be a good idea for us to have a conversation. Adult to adult**." Barry states. I don't even…

"Sure." I agree. Why'd I agree?

"**Excellent. I shall see you at twelve**." Barry says.

"Yeah… see you then…" I trail off before hitting the end call button. I stare at the phone for a moment. "Oh god, why…"

I spend the rest of the morning pacing frantically, getting ready, and sending panicked text messages to Nicky who's only replies are "_Just hit him over the head with a chair and run_". So helpful. And possibly an option.

I'm a bit late because it took me awhile to actually find this place, and he's already sitting at the table. I'm dressed very casually – it's not like I'm going on a date with Cat, here. Half of me just wanted to show up in sweats and a plain t-shirt. He stands up as I approach, giving a polite smile and ushering me into the booth.

"Hello, Tori. Thank you for coming on such short notice." He says.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks for the invitation." I nod, shuffling into the booth. Damn, I feel awkward. "Does… Stacy know about this?"

He has a straight face on. "Honestly, no. This was all my idea." Barry admits. I glance from side to side. Where's a chair I can hit him with? "Don't take this the wrong way. I'm not going behind Stacy's back. I just… need to clear some things up with you."

"So this isn't about getting to know me, it's about…"

"Getting to know Stacy." Barry nods. "You as well, but I do have some questions and concerns about Stacy, you see."

"O…kay." I mumble, eyeing him suspiciously.

"I can see you feel uncomfortable. That's not my intention. I just want to ask a few questions." Barry explains. "Mainly… about Stacy's past."

My eyes widen. "S-Sorry?"

"You knew Stacy back in high school, right?" Barry asks. "I honestly don't know anything about her beyond when we first met. I'm sure she's told you by now that she was homeless for a while. I don't even know how she became homeless."

My eyes find the surface of the table quickly. "Why don't you just ask her?"

"Because she won't tell me. Every time I bring it up, she quickly changes the subject, or becomes very upset. You can tell why this is concerning. I'm to marry her, and I feel like there's a gap missing there that could help me… understand her more. Perhaps you can help me with this." Barry requests. So… Not even her fiancé knows about her secret past…

"Honesty, I can't help you much." I mutter. "What I remember of C-... Stacy, is that back in high school in LA she was very friendly, well liked, very talented. Top of the class kind of girl. She was happy, and we were really close. Then we lost touch. That's all I know." I state.

"You were close and yet you lost touch?" Barry asks. I furrow my brow. I'm not admitting anything to this guy if Cat doesn't even want to tell him.

"Yes. Things happen, you know? You go off to do different things. You drift apart. I hadn't talked to her until I saw her again back in January." I say.

"And now you're close again." He concludes.

"Extremely." I nod. He stares at me a moment.

"So, has she confided in you anything that happened after high school?" Barry asks.

"Just that she was homeless. Otherwise, I don't know anything else. She won't tell me anything, and I try not to pry." That might be because she made me promise, but still… "That's something we have in common. Stacy is a bit of a mystery to both of us."

"I see…" Barry thinks for a minute. "How frustrating."

"How do you do it?" I ask suddenly. He looks up at me.

"Pardon?"

"How do you go through with marrying someone with so many secrets?" I ask again, no idea where this is coming from.

"It's… difficult. But I've seen the type of person Stacy is. It can't be that bad." Barry shrugs. "Obviously I'm curious, which is why I'm asking you. But you understand… you're so close with her, after all."

"I am." I agree. "But I'm not marrying her."

"This is a very true fact." Barry gives a hard look. "Which brings me to my next topic. I was going to wait until the end of the lunch to bring this up, but we might as well discuss the elephant in the room now."

"And what's that?"

"You and Stacy's… relationship." Barry confirms. I tense. Does he know?

"Our friendship? What about it?" I ask. His eyes narrow slightly.

"I think you'll agree when I say you sometimes have a bit more than friendship on your mind." Barry states. I search him slowly.

"That's quite the assumption." I say, matching his tone.

"I wish it were merely an assumption. It was until I saw you two at Wonderland. It's the way you look at her…" Barry leans forward a bit, "It's the way I know I look at her."

"Okay, if that were true, what's your point?" I interrogate. He leans back again.

"I just wanted to establish that Stacy is my fiancé and we're both looking forward to a very happy marriage together." Barry explains. I roll my eyes.

"I know that."

"Well I'm concerned that Stacy does not." Barry admits. My eyebrows shoot into the air.

"…You're worried that she'll leave you for me, aren't you?" I accuse.

"There have been… signs that make me question where her affections lie, yes." Barry explains.

"Like what?" I scoff, although genuinely curious.

"There has been… tension in our relationship since you came back into her life. Most of our conversations revolve around you, and when she's with you… I see a spark in her that I've never been able to bring out." Barry grumbles. "She says she loves me, but there are things about your relationship that have me thinking twice."

"Well that says a lot about your side of the relationship then, huh?" I glare.

"Sorry?"

"You're supposed to be marrying this girl, and all you can worry about is her leaving you for someone else. For a _girl_. You don't even know if Stacy's gay." I huff, anger rising. "You don't seem to know anything about her. Some happy marriage… are you going to be this suspicious the entire time?"

"I don't think I'm the one with the problem here." Barry raises his voice a little. "We were perfectly content until _you_ came along. So, I've concluded the best course of action for my future marriage to the woman I love." Barry states, and I grit my teeth.

"Go on, say it."

"I will. I think you should stay away from Stacy from now on."

"Oh, there it is!" I cry, throwing my hands up in the air. "And what, exactly, do you think Stacy will think of that?"

"She may be upset at first but I'm sure she'll see it my way." Barry answers.

"God, you don't own her! You really think her not seeing me will save your marriage? Damn, you must be desperate. Did you forget that she accepted the ring?" I snap.

"I just feel like this would be the best for all three of us-"

"Best for **you**!" I growl. "Maybe this is why you're worried about your relationship. It has _nothing_ to do with me. You could **never** match her level of compassion, and you just can't own up to that so you project your fears onto someone else! You're pathetic."

"I resent that." Barry glares, standing up in the booth. I stand up too, taking my whole height.

"Think about it, Barry. Think about what _really _needs work here. And if I have feelings for her like you think I do, then you know I'd want the best for her so you **better shape up** if you want to make her the happiest girl alive!" I shout.

"You stay away from her. That's up for me to decide, not you." Barry glowers.

"That's something you'll have to take up with Stacy. I'd be _delighted_ to hear her response." I state, sliding out of the booth and almost running into the waitress.

"Oh, um, are you leaving?" The waitress asks. I let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure your food is wonderful and if it were a different time, I'd love to place an order. But for now, there's no way I'm eating here with him." I shoot a glare at Barry before stalking out, and I swear I hear applause from the other customers.

As soon as I get outside, I whip my phone out. There's no way Barry's getting to Cat first after that.

"**Hi Tori!** **What's up**?" Cat's voice answers.

"Cat. Are you still dress shopping?" My voice trembles.

"**Yeah, actually. I just finished… Are you okay? You sound upset… Wait, how'd you know I was dress shopping? I don't remember telling you**."

"Barry told me. I just met him for lunch." I explain.

"… **You did what**?"

"Yeah, and he told me I should stay away from you from now on." I glower.

"…**He said w**_**hat**_?" Cat gasps.

"I know. I was shocked, too." I mumble.

"**Where are you? I'll come meet you**."

"Just by Yonge and Dundas Square."

"**Okay. Come to the Old City Hall. You know where that is? The big clock**?"

"Yeah, I've seen it." I say.

"**Great. And I'm really sorry he said that. I can't believe he… ugh. I'll see you soon.**" Cat states.

"See you." I mumble, hanging up.

I'm glad I have a bit of a walk, because it allows me to calm down a bit. But I'm still fuming by the time I reach Old City Hall. Cat's already there, and she runs up to me with a hug in a blaze of vibrant red hair.

"Tori, I'm so sorry." Cat mumbles into my hair, and I hold her tight.

"Not your fault." I sigh. She pulls back, giving a firm look.

"Tell me everything." She requests. She pauses a bit, holding up a finger and checking her phone. "It's Barry."

"Don't pick it up."

"Okay." Cat agrees, pressing ignore. She places her hands on my shoulders. "So what happened?"

"He said he wanted to meet me for lunch to get to know me more. Turns out he just wanted to bring up the fact that we're a little too close for his liking." I huff. She glares, but not at me. To me.

"I can't believe he brought you into this." Cat mutters under her breath, and then she gets a scared look. "You're not going to listen to him, right?"

"Cat… of course not." I sigh.

"Good, because if you shut me out now I don't know what I'd…" She shakes her head, jumping on me with a hug. "Why would he say that? What would give him the audacity?"

"He said I'm the reason your relationship is on the rocks." I say.

"Bullshit." Cat mutters.

"That's what I thought. God, he really doesn't like it when things don't go his way, huh?" I roll my eyes, and she chuckles slightly, pulling back.

"What'd you say to him?"

"I told him to stuff it…" I grumble. "Well, no, not really. I should have. I told him maybe he should take a look at what he can do to better himself for you instead of projecting his insecurities of his relationship on me."

She stares at me with wonderment. "Wow. And what'd he say to that?"

"That that was his place to decide." I mumble. Cat's eyes find the ground, looking hurt. I feel my anger dissipate. "Cat… I'm sorry. I know this must be hard for you to hear, knowing you love him and everything…"

"I don't." Cat breathes, I barely hear her. I blink at her.

"You don't what?"

"Love him." Cat answers, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. I stare at her.

"Are you serious?" I ask, and she presses her lips together and nods slightly.

"I never did. Well… No, I do love him. That's why this hurts so much. But… I'm not in love with him…" Cat shudders a breath.

"But you're marrying him." I gape.

"I know." Cat bites her lip.

"Why are you marrying him?" I ask. She shakes her head.

"It's… complicated." Cat mumbles.

"Complicated? It's not complicated. You love him or you don't. You marry him or you don't." I state.

"I wish it were that simple but it's not!" Cat cries.

"Tell me why! Why can't it be that simple?" I goad. Cat falls silent, and I feel my heart sink.

"Do you just feel guilty because he pulled you off the streets? Like you owe him something?" I ask.

"No."

"Then does it have to do with why you left LA?" I interrogate further. Cat stays silent, a silent sob wracking her. "Does Barry have anything to do with it?" Again, she stays silent, and my frustration rises. "God damnit, Cat!"

"I'm sorry, Tori! I'm sorry!" Cat whimpers.

"No, Cat, look at this from my side. I _want _to be with you. So bad. Now I find out you're not even in love with the one thing stopping me from repeating our moment on Victoria Day over and over again, guilt free, and you can't even tell me _why_." I growl.

"You think this is easy for me? I want to be with you too, Tori! It _kills _me that I can't." Cat sobs.

"Then be with me!" I state, putting my hands on her shoulders. "I'm ready and willing, Cat."

"I **can't**." Cat groans, turning away. I throw my arms up in the air.

"I don't believe this. This should be simple. We want to be together." I grumble.

"Yes." Cat says in a small voice.

"But we can't be, even though you're not in love with your fiancé."

"Yes…"

"But you have to stay with him for reasons you can't tell me."

"Yes, Tori. Damnit, yes. It was never supposed to turn out this way." Cat cries. I stare at her a moment.

"You know the other reason Barry wanted to meet? He wanted to know about your past. The past no one knows about. Obviously I couldn't tell him anything, but I didn't even tell him you faked your death." I mumble. She looks at me, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"You didn't?" She sniffs.

"No. Because you're all about secrets, huh? Look, I know you have your reasons, but damn, that's one thing Barry has going for him. I don't know if I'd be able to do it, stay with someone who refuses to disclose anything about herself." I glower, turning to walk away.

"Tori!" I hear her yell at me, but I ignore her, a tear escaping my eye. Then I feel the brunt of the impact on my back, her arms encircling my waist and holding me still. "Don't. Please don't go."

"Cat… This is all too much…" I mutter.

"I know." She whispers. "But I meant what I said earlier. I don't know what'd I'd do without you. I need you, Tori." Cat trembles, squeezing me tightly around the waist. "Don't let Barry get what he wants."

I let out a deep sigh, wiping away the tear. She did exactly what I always wanted to do. She went after me. She didn't let me walk away. She didn't let me disappear for three years. "I won't." I breathe. "I was just being dramatic. I don't know what I'd do without you either."

"Probably have a much more stress free life." Cat murmurs, and I smile in spite of myself.

"Probably. Too late for that now, huh?" I sigh, and I feel her nod against my back. "…What do we do?"

"I don't know, Tori…" Cat mumbles.

"How can we possibly make this work?" I groan.

"I guess… set boundaries." Cat sighs.

"Are we breaking those boundaries right now?" I ask, and Cat's quiet for a moment.

"Possibly."

"Well…" I whisper, slinking my hands to cover hers over my stomach. "Let's make this inside the boundaries."

"Sounds good to me." Cat sighs. I close my eyes.

"We'll make it work." I murmur. I think I'm trying to convince myself more than her.

"I hope so, because… Tori?" Cat shudders.

"Yes, Cat?"

"…Barry was right about one thing. He should probably worry about how close we are."

* * *

**Author's Notes: THEY KNOW KNOW! THEY CAN'T EVEN DENY IT! Ugh, I'm even mad at myself for not letting them be together. Damnit, waitwhathuh. Anywho, it feels like forever since I last updated. Because it has been. A WHOLE WEEK! November's crazy for me. November sucks. I've taken up sleeping during classes because I'm too busy doing work at night. Life of a student. Anyway, Cat, Tori, get your shit together.**

**Honestly we're getting down to the wire, here. Not too much left of this story. Does that fill you with joy or sadness? Let me know what you thought of the chapter. Feel free to yell at me. God knows I am. Or you can be nice and send me support. Support would be nice, also. **

**Fun Fact: Wonderland really is one of my favourite places in the world, even though I'm sure there's better theme parks. The first rude they go on, Wonder Mountain's Guardian, is a 4D ride that doesn't open until next year. Good thing this story takes place in 2017!**


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